《Guild Wars》Chapter 22.1: Cold Daggers, Warm Hugs

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With that, the memories static away, flickering off one by one. Again, leaving them in the dark tunnel scrolling with binary numbers. Infront of them, another white door’s risen from the ground. Rufus strokes his beard,

“Alas, we have reached our destination, I hope, this little walk has given you some clarity regarding the situations that has unfolded.” Lilith gets it. Rufus wants to show her, Luci is evil. Luci is a threat to the stability of their world. Yet she can’t help but to ask,

“If I am Luci, why would you help me?” Rufus still hasn’t answered that question. Stopping before the door, he turns around with a forlorn sigh,

“A blood feud will not end, unless one side is willing to forgive.” stacking his hands atop his cane,

“If it does come to the unfortunate conclusion that you are Luci, then this old man can only ask of you, to spare us the mercy and not choose the same path she had chosen.” he clarifies,

“From her past actions, we are able to gather, Luci had two core motivations. One, is to resurrect her family, and the other, is to seek revenge against those who have wronged her.” so that’s why Rufus’s showing Lilith kindness. The same way Feno’s showed Nana kindness that made her reluctant to fight him. Rufus is asking of her to forgive, when Luci couldn’t. Rufus softly concludes with a small laugh,

"But I am willing to take a bet, you are not her. I simply do not wish to see my old friend go down the path of needlessly slaughtering an innocent life." he's doing this to protect Feno too,

"He already has been tormented enough."

She’s not Luci...

Lilith doesn’t covet the same things Luci does. She doesn’t want to destroy the guilds. She doesn’t want to kill anyone. Yet what is this sinking feeling in her stomach she feels, something is still amiss, why is her voice so unconvincing when she replies,

“Yes. Of course.” this emptiness inside her to the thought of rejecting Luci. It pinches her heart. Like a part of her is being torn away. Even after witnessing all that. Why does she still feel empathy towards Luci?

Right now, Lilith’s beginning to doubt her own memories. Because her emotions aren’t aligning.

Tapping twice on his cane, Rufus tips open the door,

“As a gratitude for accompanying this old man, you should find this location rather convenient.” stepping out with Cyan, she returns Rufus a quick farewell over the shoulders, before watching the door creak to a close and disappearing behind them along with Rufus who’s remained inside. He’s sent them to a forest.

Beside her, Cyan’s saying something, but she isn’t paying much attention, brushing a stray vine out of her face. Lilith leads him forward aimlessly. She’s trying to piece together, what is it, that feels so misaligned. What is it that still isn’t addressed...

Lilith thinks she’s got it. But it doesn’t make sense, that’s heavily contradictory to her actions. Snapping her head up, Lilith follows the familiar path she’s taken countlessly. Pinpointing her gaze towards where the tall clocktower shadowing with clouds. The sun has just set. The sky a dusky blue. In the distance, seagulls have taken flight at the harbor. If she gets home now, Killian would still have an hour before he’ll have to open the tavern.

She’s finally snapped back to her senses when Cyan runs after her, clapping his hands over her eyes and abruptly jolting her backwards. Turning her gaze to look at him,

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“What’s up with you. You’re zoned out.” he furrows his brows at her, “did you even hear a word I said? This is your hometown, right? Gildamore.”

Flickering her head about, it’s only now that she registers. They’re no longer in Kusma! They were supposed to be in Kusma!

“Oh, yeah! You’re right!” she admits with a nervous giggle,

“It’s just that, Gildamore’s so familiar to me, I went on auto-pilot.” the clothes that Cyan’s wearing, the one that they’ve gotten from the Sandy Niles guild hall, reminds her that they’re supposed to be in the middle of the adventurer’s exam. Then she realizes,

“Wait. Why are we back in Gildamore?” she gets a scorn for that,

“I knew it! You haven’t heard a single word I said!” pulling out a glass map from his pocket, he waves it in her face,

“Our next trial’s in Duskburn. The capital of Felmane territories.” it’s labelled 3-1, the one that they’ve received from Rufus. Half a day of train ride away from the station. But... she doesn’t want to go there yet, admitting quietly,

“I have questions I want to ask Killian.” and decides to cut her statement there. He wrote her not to trust anyone. Does that include Cyan? She wants to trust Cyan.

Cyan studies her with a raised brow, slowing down his pace to examine her face. Trying to figure her out, and when he can’t, he pries,

“Is it something to do with the crimson witch? You haven’t said anything about it since the meeting with Feno.” and guesses,

“It’s bothering you right?” she stops beside him, “you usually aren’t this...” pausing to find his words, he settles for the ones he deems the least offensive,

“Serious about things.” she’s weaving around his question, uncertain if she should tell him,

“What did you think about those memories that we just saw?”

“Feno’s quite pitiful, I guess-” shaking her head, she corrects,

“No. I mean, the crimson witch. What did you think about her?”

“The stereotypical villainess there to hinder a hero’s journey?” he jokingly replies, before realizing that she isn’t humoring his banters so he answers her seriously,

“I don’t really think much of her. I don’t know her, and I don’t know her side of the story nor the intensity of her motivations for me to judge if I would choose to side with her cause.” he shrugs,

“All I know is, she’s given my piece of shit father a hard time and that’s enough for me. In my eyes, they’re both pieces of shit so it’s hard to differentiate which shit smells worse.” when she doesn’t commentate, Cyan pauses to look at her. Trying to decipher her rationale behind asking that, he guesses,

“You don’t hate her for killing your parents?” was it that obvious on her face? She admits,

“I don’t even know if they really are my parents. I don’t have any recollection of them.” he strides infront of her to stop them in their tracks. Lifting a finger to poke her between her ribs,

“Then do you think you are Luci? Like what Feno accused you of.” he’s figured her out. It’s making her flinch backwards so he won’t feel her heartbeats speeding up,

“Would you hate me if I am her?” she’s getting anxious. What if she is Luci? What if she is responsible for the deaths of all those people. She doesn’t want Cyan to hate her. He asks,

“Are you going to zombify me and make me do your biddings?” to which she hastily snaps,

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“Of course not!” at that, he pulls his hand back, habitually shoving into his pocket, he doesn't have one with this outfit, so he hooks his thumb beneath the belt instead. With a nonchalant shrug, he says,

“Then why would I hate you? if you aren’t going to do anything bad to me, I’ll have no reason to hate you.”

“But...” taking a sharp inhale, she lowers her voice, finally deciding to tell him in a soft whisper,

“I saw her inside me when Feno was scrying my memories.” she clutches at her heart,

“Even now, I can feel she’s inside me.” that statement’s taking Cyan back a little. Widening his eyes at her as if it’s dumbfounded him, but not in the way she thought she had because he’s returning her an expressionless,

“That sounded incredibly kinky.” he isn’t taking her seriously. It’s agitating her, furrowing her brows,

“You know that wasn’t what I meant!” but he laughs her off,

“I know, I know. You meant it in that, protagonist cliché type of way, didn't you?” he intentionally did that to get back at her for all the times she’s thrown him off with her stupid remarks. Realizing that is making her puff her cheeks at him, but before she's able to say anything, he admits,

“I just didn’t know what to make of that information. But Feno did accuse you and everything, so I guess I can’t be completely surprised.” she reiterates,

“You promise you won’t dislike me?” He gives her a light shrug,

“I’m not that stingy, in fact, if you are Luci, you can totally breeze through this exam for us.” reassuring her enough to confide,

“I don't think I am her, but I think I’m related to her, somehow. I don’t exactly know what it is. It’s this nagging sensation that’s telling me, if I seek her, I’ll be able to understand.”

“If she's really inside you, then why don’t you just ask her?” it suddenly strikes her,

“Cyan! You're a genius!” he’s right. She should just ask. Why didn’t she think of that? Grabbing his wrist, she drags him off to the side of the bushes where the trees are denser. They’re close to the outskirts so it’s easy to be seen. Going behind a boulder, she watches Cyan sit himself down on toppled trunk,

“What will you do when you find out the answer?” poking at the white fungus growing atop of it with a finger, he’s already anticipating that she may take a while so he’s getting himself comfortable.

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it after I find out.” she says, fading his quick acknowledgement of a noncommittal, right, good luck, into the background.

She’s imagining the glass, pouring her Vita within it in a swish of red tide. It’s lapping at the sides, collecting taller and taller. Painting the darkness behind her eyelid deep burgundy. This time is exactly like the last, the more she pours, the further the outside world gets. Until she doesn’t hear the throttles of horse carriages, the whistle of distant steam trains and the thuds of cobblestone footsteps. It’s become deathly silent her ears are ringing.

She’s isolated, aimlessly wondering in this dim red space. There’s a giant birdcage in the distance, of scarlet metal bars.

Is that where Luci is? She didn’t realize it’ll be so easy all along.

Approaching it, she notices the rocking chair within it. Someone's seated atop of it. A woman in red. Her head's tilted downwards, so Lilith can't see beyond the big circular hat. She's reading a novel she has opened in her hand. The other’s wrapped around a wine glass atop an ornamental table. Stopping before the cage, Lilith hesitantly calls out,

"Luci?" the woman doesn't correct her,

“Did you finally come to seek me out?” so she is Luci! Her voice is colder, lonelier, than Lilith had imagined. Like a relic that’s long left forgotten in a faraway cave. It’s making her slightly nervous. Glancing around, Lilith examines her surroundings. Everywhere else is filled with nothingness. Is this her internal world? The next line Lilith skeptically voices,

“Are you trapped in here?”

At that, Luci closes her book, melodiously humming,

“Yes, it’s been rather dull.” she’s teasing her with a wry laugh,

“You have a poor taste in literature, I’m afraid, I can’t say I enjoyed any of the ones you’ve read.” she gestures to a manifested bookshelf beside her. It’s filled with all sorts of fairytales Lilith’s binged as a child. Trimming her finger against the glass of wine,

“Even this.” she singingly sighs, “tastes like grape juice.” that’s probably because Lilith doesn’t know how wine actually tastes like. Finally, she tilts her gaze up to address her,

“Certainly, you didn’t come here just to entertain me with small talks.”

The sight takes Lilith back. It's the first time she's seen her entire face. Widening her eyes at her. Like she's staring into a mirror of the future, they really do look alike. The same spiraling dark hair, green eyes. Only, she’s got a dangerous, sultry charm to her like the calmness before calamity. A radiant fire dimmed behind peaceful smiles.

Lilith had always imagined, she’ll be relieved to see her, she’ll be happy to see her. But that’s not quite it either. What is this feeling? Of her heartbeats hammering so deafeningly that she’s able to hear, she’s able to count. And she can tell, it’s quickening.

Luci frightens her... If she gets any closer, she’s going to be licked by flames. So, she takes a defensive step backwards.

Luci giggles at that,

“I suppose, from your reactions, you aren’t ready yet.” ready for what? She should’ve voiced it. Taking a deep breath, Lilith calms herself but before she’s able to try, Luci’s responding as if she’s heard her,

“The truth.” it makes her realize; she can hear her. Luci already knows what she wants to ask,

“I can’t tell you who I am... But I can tell you what I’m not.” simpering a little as if it’s something amusing for her,

“No, I am not your mother.” she’s even anticipated that? There was a nagging sensation at the back of Lilith’s mind that she’s been entertaining that thought,

“Right now, neither am I, you.” If that isn’t the case then,

“But you are right to guess, we are related. Although, not in a way mortally understood of familial kinship and blood bonds.” that’s just shot down all her assumptions. Lilith finally gets to ask the next question,

“Then why are you inside me?” Luci’s giggling at it like it’s something quite obvious,

“Because I am trapped here.” she gestures to the cage around her, “you’re trapping me here.” that isn’t making any sense!

“No, I didn’t. I don’t know you, and I don’t remember you!”

“But you long for me, you covet me.” she’s caught her, “because I am able to give you the answers to your questions.”

“Then give it to me! Tell me who I am, who are you to me and why don’t I remember my parents or anything about my past?” Luci hums at her demands,

“I suppose I can give you one freebie. I did kill the two Hollow Bow adventurers in your memories, but they aren’t your parents.” Lilith already suspected that. That’s why she doesn’t feel sad about their deaths,

“Who are my real parents? Who killed my real parents?” how much of her memories can she actually trust?

“That isn’t something I can tell you right now.”

"When can you tell me?"

Luci suggests jokingly, "when you kill the guild leader of Atlantia Empire."

Why the heck will she do that? She doesn't even know the guy! Luci's just stringing her on a loop!

Lilith changes up her tactics,

“What about your wish?” the thing Nana said that was bothering her,

“You wanted a world of kindness and forgiveness, yet you’re destroying everything. It doesn’t make sense!” that was what felt amiss to her earlier on.

Drawing circles onto the rim of the wine glass, Luci languidly uncrosses her legs,

“It is easy to get persuaded in a one-sided narrative depending on who’s perspective you take. Certainly, from Feno’s perspective, I am portrayed as nothing but atrocious and malicious.” she still isn’t answering her questions,

“And, I doubt a few words from me, will change your immediate impression.” instead she’s adjusting her hat before standing up to take slow sauntering steps towards her. Gripping at the cage doors, she leans forward with a calculating smile,

“But if you let me out, you’ll be able to understand my wish, eventually.” Lilith scowls,

“You’re just trying to trick me!” Luci doesn’t even bother denying,

“I am.” innocently cooing in a sing-song voice,

“But you’re curious of what’s going to happen if you do let me out.” she’s called her out. Lilith is curious, unbearably curious, yet an inkling feeling at the back of her mind is telling her don’t. So, Luci’s persuading further,

“Don’t you feel bad for keeping me in this tiny little cage. I can hardly even stretch.” saying with a pitiful pout as she is, it’s funny how harmless she actually looks when she’s wearing this expression despite the devastation, she’s able to cause,

“I even went out of my way to help you the last time Feno’s scouring your memories.” that does make Lilith feel as though she owes her. Lilith gasps a little. Looking to retaliate but Luci sweetens the deal before she’s able to find her reasons,

“How about it? If you let me out, I’ll show you interesting things about the two people closest to you that you don’t already know.” now it’s really snaring her interests,

“You mean... Killian and Cyan?” it’s already unwittingly making Lilith walk forward, reaching a hand out towards the cage. She hesitates,

“You promise you won’t do anything bad if I let you out?” the warning sounding in the back of her mind is getting louder. She shouldn’t trust her. But her curiosity isn’t letting her listen, her curiosity wants her to get swindled.

Luci gives her a playful wink, giggling,

“Do I look like someone that’ll do something bad.”

Yes.

Yes, she definitely does.

But Lilith realizes that all too late because the moment she’s touched the cage. The world around her begins spiraling in red mist. She’s being pulled forward towards a vacuum. It’s making her dizzy, staring dead into a spinning pin wheel, the few seconds it takes to stop feels like an eternity.

Orientating herself, she stumbles into the rocking chair. Finding herself with the backrest, she stabilizes herself against it to stop staggering in circles. When her vision fixates, she tilts her head up. Finally hitting her that she’s trapped in the bird cage instead.

“You did trick me!” Lilith accuses, rushing to grip at the metal bars. Shaking at them. There's no door. They won’t open. Luci’s tilting her gaze over her shoulders from the outside, tipping her hat at her as if she’s expressing her gratitude,

“Have a little bit of patience.” she simpers,

“You can’t expect all the answers to be delivered to you straight away.” walking away towards the panel that’s emerged before her. It’s a looking glass peering to the external world. Cyan’s gotten up from the trunk now, pacing around and bored out of his mind. He tilts up at the skies to watch the stars gradually peek. Judging from the change in colors, she couldn’t have taken more than five minutes. He’s just impatient. Luci disappears through it.

The moment she does, Cyan turns his attention towards her with an inquisitive,

“So? How did it go?”

“That’s not me!” It’s Luci! Luci’s controlling her body right now, and Lilith can’t do anything about it, rattling against the bars as she is. Cyan doesn’t hear her.

Luci isn’t answering him immediately, she’s approaching him, pinching her fingers beneath her chin to spin around him. Examining him up and down with an audible,

“Hm...” her gestures are perplexing him, so he’s just following her with his gaze and a raised brow,

“What’s gotten into you?” standing behind him, Luci’s completely ignoring Cyan, to reach a hand out to squeeze at his bicep,

“A little on the thin side, but he’s got a nice muscle mass.” Luci analyzes with a small giggle,

“I see that old fox’s been taking it out on his own children after losing to me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” does Cyan not realize what’s going on? He’s watching Luci get close to him. Letting her press up against his back. It’s making Cyan uncomfortable. Flinching forward to put space between them, but Luci stops him with a hand around his throat. Lightly, feathering past his collarbones.

Notice it already! That isn’t her! Why the heck is he just stupidly blushing like a goddamn maiden,

“L-Lilith?”

Luci’s next statement makes Lilith realize she’s addressing her when she whispers in his ear,

“Your taste never changes, does it?” walking two fingers down his spine. His tails have fluffed up from goosebumps. A drop in tone, a change in air pressure, announcing the danger he’s in,

“You’ve always liked broken things. Because it’s easier to slip into the cracks of their hearts like that.”

Cyan’s finally getting it, furrowing his brows, he tries to get away,

“You’re not Lilit-” all too late because Luci’s hold has just turned into a death grip. Wringing the air out of him in a suffocated wheeze. In that same instance, she pierces her entire forearm through his mid. Right where his liver sits, scarlet claws emerging through the other side.

Lilith rattles the bars louder,

“Cyan!”

She shouldn’t have trusted her!

“Care to find out,” like a viciously impaled blade, Luci jerks her arm out the gaping hole she’s made, she’s amused,

“How deeply has your poison seeped?” Cyan collapses on the ground. The utter shock must’ve knocked him out. Bleeding a puddle into the soil. Cyan isn’t responding, is he even breathing? Lilith’s chest is clenching. Desperately slamming her shoulders against the cage,

“Let me out! Stop hurting him!” it isn’t budging. So, she tries harder, it’s getting suffocating to breathe every passing minute. A panic’s seizing her, reiterating his name,

“Cyan!” helplessly, because her voice isn’t conveying. But Luci isn’t doing anything. She’s just standing over his motionless body with an apathetic gaze. Licking her fingertips, Lilith can taste it.

That’s sick.

Luci’s sick!

“Or are you the one that’s sick?” Luci mocks her, “because it’s you who’s finding his blood sweet.” those words are twisting her gut.

She doesn’t!

“You’re in denial.”

“Let me out!” it isn’t working. The bars are military. They don’t even shake upon impact, so Lilith’s dragging the bookshelf to slam at it. Only to have it burst apart in a red mist fading away to nothingness. Luci laughs at her attempts,

“You care for him quite a lot.” she can feel how agitated Lilith’s getting,

“Soon, we’ll see if he feels the same way about you.” when that does nothing, Lilith’s instead reaches around her back. Her weapon isn’t in here with her. Pushed to her last resort, she desperately rams her entire body against the cage. Unrelenting and unmoving. Her bones are starting to ache.

Outside, Luci’s quietly humming,

“Now, for the other thing I’ve promised.” her pupils chasing slowly beyond a bush that begins rustling. She draws Lilith’s axe, spinning around to clash weapons before Lilith even registers who it is.

“It certainly has been a while,” Luci greets with a displaced cheery smile,

“Killian Renarvas.” parrying his attack with the sharp edge singlehandedly swung. Unlike Lilith, Luci’s right-handed. A red photogene of Magia following the trajectory of her force. The wind lash itself, cuts past tree trunks in the clean diagonal. Even in Lilith’s body, Luci’s still ungodly strong. It’s forcing Killian backwards, flinging him towards the toppling tree line. Sending birds in flight. Forest animals scurrying for dear life. Killian’s blocking with two short swords, dual wielded backhandedly over his face as if stabbing with a knife.

It’s the first time Lilith’s seen Killian fight. He’s half dressed in his work uniform. Few buttons disheveled down the collar with his vest unclasped. Furrowing his brows at her,

“I thought something’s starting to reek of death. Turns out it was you.” he kicks himself off a boulder the moment he finds purchase. The force of it, blasting the rock into pieces as he launches himself off, fast as a bullet,

“I thought you’d be thrilled to see me. Didn’t it feel good to plunge a sword into my heart?” Luci giggles halfheartedly as she receives him with nonchalance, “I bet you still dream about it every night.”

Weapons locking in a resounding clash. He’s shoving her back a centimeter before she waves in a hovering skull behind him, violent red beams ripping out. Killian immediately sweeps a sword into its mouth. Cutting it from the jaw. Shattering it to pieces. The other blade, driving Luci back with a forceful push. Towards an ouroboros circle manifesting the soil. Glowing like a ring light. The moment Luci steps into it. A pillar of green beacons to the heaven. It isn’t doing damage. Instead, Luci looks frozen in time, mid orienting herself. But the circle is retracting from its tail, taking the beacon with it like unveiling a curtain around a bathtub, as if it’s some sort of a countdown to the spell’s effectiveness.

Killian’s instant follow up confirms that it is. He’s cross hatching for Luci’s torso looking to draw blood. But an abruptly manifested skull bulldozes him backwards before he could. Biting down on his swords like butter knives. Red beams ripping out the clenched teeth in short jets of violent Magia that’s forcing Killian to block. Refracting off the flat of his blades like a mirror. Buying time for Luci to be unfrozen from her time lock. Flurrying behind him in a smudge of colors, her axe winded over his head.

Killian’s tilting over his shoulders to watch her swing downwards, admonishing,

“Who'll dream about someone obnoxious as you?” as he arches his spine, throwing the skull midst Luci’s trajectory to make her smash past her own summon in swishing afterimage of red. Again, toppling trees in front of him one after another with the wind lash of her violent force. Killian ducks as she’s still orienting from her miss, with a twisting momentum, he sweeps a sword for her shins. He’s trying to get her to dodge backwards, into another time lock that’s been drawn behind her, but instead, she’s just caught his sword with her axe head anchored into the ground. Revealing her real intentions as she does,

“Have fun explaining yourself to that curious child.”

The moment she’s said that, the bird cage around Lilith collapses. The momentum which she’s been persistently ramming herself against, tosses her forward. Towards the looking glass to the outside world, that even through it, she’s still stumbling ahead. Tripping herself into Killian who’s just stood up and hastily pulled his weapon away so he doesn’t cut her in the process. Killian knew Luci this entire time and he’s been lying to her. But Lilith finding more priority to rush behind him,

“Cyan!” towards Cyan, lying on the ground. She kneels beside him, reaching a skeptical hand out. She’s afraid to touch him. Afraid to make the injury any worse than it is. His breathing is labored. Shallowly escaping him in inhales and exhales to bleach his complexation so ghostly pale. It glows beneath the moonlight, reflecting the blood, smearing in his hair like grotesque roses. A lump’s forming in her throat, her voice is shaking when she lets out a second,

“Cy....an?”

Luci’s hurt him...

Luci’s hurt him really badly...

No...

She’s hurt him.

“He’s not going to die from a wound like that.” Killian’s voice startles her over her shoulders,

“Give him a couple of hours and he’ll be good as new.” he’s approaching her, fixing up his attire with one hand and knocking a fist over her head with the other,

“I told you not to go for the adventurer’s exams.” but she’s not in the mood to banter. He didn’t hit her very hard,

“You’ve even strung along Odion’s brat. Do you have a death wish?” Killian’s eyeing behind her, flipping a short sword in in his hand,

“I say we get rid of him before he starts babbling. Pass it off as a trial accident.”

What?

She instantly bolts up before she even questions herself if she’s heard it right, deflecting Killian’s blade that he’s just thrown towards Cyan’s neck with her axe,

“No!” boomeranging it to impale in the soil instead. What’s going on? Why does Killian want to hurt him too? She flails her arms out in front of Cyan to stop Killian getting nearer,

“Cyan’s my friend! You can’t kill him!” her actions are making him furrow his brows. Rubbing into a side of his temples as if she’s giving him a headache, Killian scowls at her,

“Which part do you not get? If he starts talking that you have the crimson witch inside you, you’re good as dead.”

“Every part!” she’s getting agitated, “I don’t get anything. Why is the crimson witch inside me. Why does Cyan need to die?” it’s so frustrating her tears are welling up,

“I don’t understand anything because you’re all lying to me!” but she does understand one thing,

“Cyan’s the first friend I’ve made. So, I won’t let anyone hurt him!” drawing her weapon between Killian’s eyes, she threatens despite her voice is betraying her,

“Even if it’s you, Killian.” it sounded awfully unconvincing, and he knows it. Swatting her axe aside, he doesn’t look interested in fighting her, Killian sighs,

“What about him?” gesturing with a flick of his eyes, “do you think he’ll still see you as a friend after you stabbed an arm through his gut?” his blood’s still drying off her fingers. In red crusts that she’s able to feel.

Of course, he would! He would understand.

Cyan would forgive her.

Lilith stumbles backwards.

Cyan would forgive her... Right?

She isn’t so certain anymore. But even then, she grips harder at her weapon,

“You still can’t kill him!” flinging her arms out again,

“He didn’t do anything wrong.” it was all her fault. It’s her gullibility that she got tricked by Luci. It’s her gullibility that she trusted her. The commotion's attracting a few wandering footsteps towards them. They aren’t very far from the town, neither is it late enough for residents to rest. Looking at the rustling bushes. People are coming. Killian hurries with a quick toss of his head,

“On second thought, maybe killing him isn’t such a great idea.” he waves away his weapons,

“Would stir up a fuss if Odion decides to investigate.” indicating that they ought to get out of here,

“Take the kid with you.” that goes without saying, she’s already picking Cyan up as she follows behind Killian. Snapping twigs and crunching leaves beneath their hasty pace. But even louder than that, she can hear Cyan rasping in her ear.

It’s starting to sound less suffocated. He’s finally getting his breaths back. The bleeding’s stopped too. At least what’s soaking her back isn’t new blood that’s flowing out. Killian brings them out of the forest, towards to the back alleys of the town. Before they enter, Killian takes off his shirt and throws it over them. The white fabric, fluttering over her hair and hoods half her vision. She gets his intention; he doesn’t want Cyan’s injury to be seen. But they’re still drawing odd looks from the townsfolks as they pass of a half-naked man wearing nothing but a bow tie and vest over trousers leading two bloodied kids forward. It’s far from being inconspicuous. They’re shady no matter how someone interprets it. So, Lilith holds back her questions for now. It’ll be easy to overhear with the attention they’re drawing to themselves.

It’s only after they turn two more alleys that the gazes start to die out. They’re going past the brothels. Most people here are already drunk out of their minds from the pubs a street down where they’re heading. Either that or busy getting solicited by prostitutes in puffy mechanical dresses batting eyelashes behind cogs decorated fans. Killian fits right in the aesthetics here. Clicking his tongue at the few confused customers that’s mistaken him for a gigolo and approached to ask for a price. The intoxication’s crippling their abilities to read neither the situation nor the displeasure on Killian’s face so he had to shove at them to keep going forward.

Turning under a connecting bridge, they finally reach their destination. Entering through the back door. Killian quickly locks behind her just as she steps in the center of the room. Judging from the noises resounding beyond the kitchen. Miss Thursday is helping Killian tend the bar. The daughter of a shoe maker a few blocks down. Or so Killian’s told her. Although, at this point, Lilith wouldn’t be surprised if miss Thursday is also an under covered adventurer. Who knows how much of Killian’s words can she really believe.

Upon hearing their return, miss Thursday peeks her head through the door to say,

“You’re paying me for this.” her honey brown hair, tied to a loose braid falling over a shoulder with her gesture, she’s put on his apron over her Victorian steampunk dress. She’s always fully committed to the cosplay. A poofy white blouse synched beneath brown leather corset and an equally dramatic, burlesque skirt, laced in gold trims. Finished off with fish net stockings and a chained monocle on over blue eyes. She greets upon the sight of her,

“Lilith. You’re back too.” although, unlike her expressive fashion sense, the woman’s got as much of an emotional aptitude as a can of tuna. She always unsettles Lilith with how little she shows on her face. That is, if she even shows any expressions at all. She doesn’t seem interested to question about what’s happened. Killian reassures,

“I’ll get you the items you asked for.” scampering past Lilith for the shelves, not addressing miss Thursday as he requests,

“Sorry, Alyss. Cover for me half an hour more.” pointing towards Lilith with a thumb,

“I’ve got a pain in the ass to deal with.” whilst going through the various glowing vials in the top most cabinet with the other hand. Frantically searching for something. His gesture’s gotten Alyss to squint at Lilith. Adjusting her monocle to look beneath the shirt draped on them. She realizes,

“Oh.” with the slightest hint of surprise in her voice,

“That’s Odion’s kid.” it’s quite blatantly obvious at this point Alyss is an under covered adventurer, just like Rosemary. In fact, are all the women Killian’s been fucking around with adventurers?

Who the hell is Killian exactly? Lilith thought she knew, but looking at him now. The distance is growing. And this feeling of loneliness, rustles her like wind through a tunnel.

She doesn’t know anything.

Alyss spends another second to watch Killian pour a green vial into a glass of water. The moment it touches, the color dissipates and fades to clear, Alyss commentates,

“You’re planning to wipe his memory? That’s one way to deal with the situation.” but before Alyss hears his answer. She's called by the service bell. Retreating back to her station. A customer has just seated himself down at the bar counter, ordering a whiskey on the rocks.

Wipe his memory?

Is that maple grass? Lilith’s taking a hesitant step backwards. Bumping Cyan against the door, it’s flinching him a little. Letting out a tiny suffocated groan in her ear, it won’t be long until he wakes. Lilith immediately tries to argue,

“You can’t do that!” maple grass will make Cyan forget everything that’s happened in the past few days. He’s going to forget her... She doesn’t want that. But Killian isn’t leaving it up for discussion. Gesturing with a flick of his head, he’s asking Lilith to follow him upstairs.

She doesn’t want that...

Reaching backwards, she grips her hand around the door knob. But before she’s able to make a run for it, Killian sighs,

“I’m not making the decision for you.” he extends the water glass,

“you’re not a child anymore and I can’t shield you forever. Use your own discretion. This is a last-minute resort. If he turns on you, force it down his throat if you have to. That way, I won’t need to kill him.” it finally makes her realize; Killian is trying to protect her. Did she just for a split second, see Killian as the enemy? Carefully, she steps forward, reaching a hand to receive the glass. Not knowing that else to say but,

“I’m sorry...” she owes him this much at least. Everything that happened, is all so confusing to her that she doesn’t even know where to begin. He scowls, leading her up the steps,

“If there’s anyone to blame,” disappearing in his room for a brief moment, he comes out with folded black t-shirt and sweatpants draped over an arm,

“Blame it on that selfish bitch.” from the sound of his voice. Lilith can tell, he’s got a vendetta towards Luci. But it’s strange, why is Killian protecting her then? Killian... really doesn’t need to. He isn’t her father. They aren’t related in any way. She’s never questioned it until now.

After Killian retrieves a pail of water and a wash towel from the bathroom, they head for her room at the end of the corridor. Killian pushes it open and sets the clothes on her dresser as she lays Cyan on her bed. Placing the water glass next to her lamp on the nightstand, resting her axe beside. Then, she reaches a hand forward to brush Cyan’s fringe away from his face. It’s grimacing him. He’s still in pain. His skin feels cold.

Looking around, the door is shut. The noises seeping in from downstairs will drown out any conversations. She finally feels it’s appropriate to pry,

“What’s your relationship with Luci?”

Killian’s bending down beside her. Wringing out the wash towel to pass it to her. Before meandering around cut the top, mottled with blood off Cyan’s torso. The surficial injury has entirely closed now. Leaving behind a patch of tender red flesh. The largest by far. They’re going to clean Cyan’s wounds. And it’s going to become another scar that mars him.

This is all her fault...

She swallows the knot in her throat and helps Killian. When she bends beside him, Killian sighs,

“How much do you already know?”

“I don’t know anything-”

“No.” he corrects,

“I meant how much did the guilds tell you.” he’s starting to look extremely reluctant now with the way that his motions are slowing. It’s an expression she’s almost never seen Killian wear. Almost regretful, as if it’s something he didn’t want her to find out. So, she answers to spur him on,

“Rufus’s showed me Feno’s memories. Luci made him kill the one person he loves most in the world.” it’s giving Killian an inkling idea of where to begin,

“It’s a long story.” he admits. Getting up, Killian sits himself down on the arm chair across the bed after the blood’s been wiped off. Sinking into it, Killian glances out the windows at the moonlight seeping in, he prompts,

“You know about Thanatos Rot?” judging from his questionings, Lilith can tell, he’s only willing to fill her in the parts that she’s already heard before,

“Yeah. The guild that baited Lanara to kill her own comrades.” he brings his gaze back upon hearing that. A quietude on his face, one of defeat and exhaustion to meet her eyes. He reluctantly answers her with a sigh,

“I ran that guild, before I joined Maverick.” so Killian is older than he’s told her. It immediately makes her snap,

“But why? They’re the bad guys!” Rufus told her that they are. It makes Killian scoff,

“Hah. We’re only the bad guys when we no longer want to submit to the whims of the Elite Ten.”

“But you’ve broken the rules!”

“Which guild hasn’t? Unlike the cozy establishment you’re experiencing now, it was nothing like that a few centuries ago. Trafficking was rampant, rebellion guilds or otherwise, everyone was doing it. Do you really think adventurers wouldn’t give in to greed and make a few quick coins here and there when we have all the controlled products stashed in our alchemy houses? The commoners loved it, Maple grass, Crystalline, Moon flower. Anything that gets them high out of their minds. We needed a way to make ends meet somehow after the war, the economy collapsed.” Killian clicks his tongue,

“As long as we pay a portion of our earnings to them, the Elite Ten turned a blind eye to it. Even their own members were involved sometimes.” he scowls,

“But the moment you can’t fork out the money, they immediately turn on you. Slap bounties on your head and have others hunt you down.” snorting a sarcastic,

“Sorry to ruin your flowery image of adventurers. We aren’t heroes that save the day from villains. We’re just people, trying to survive in a hostile world that’s pitched us against each other.” is that why Killian didn’t want her to become an adventurer? He didn’t want her to get tangled in this mess. It still isn’t adding up,

“Then, how did you become acquainted with Luci?”

“After the incident with Lanara. We’ve put a huge dart board on our heads. Sent Atlantia Empire themselves after us. I got fucked over by the guild leader, took my entire guild hostage. But that bastard’s made me a deal.” he’s clenching his hands at this, it’s a bad memory for Killian,

“If I can act as a double agent and monitor a target, he’ll let us all go free. That target turned out to be Luci. It was a few decades before Feno’s encountered her. Atlantia’s Empire’s guild leader already suspected her before she’s made her move.” before he relaxes them again with a heavy breath,

“Does that answer your question?” she knows that isn’t the full story, but he looks eager to stop. Lilith shakes her head at him, demanding,

“Tell me the whole thing!” to have Killian snap at her,

“You really are such a shitty ungrateful brat!” but she’s trapping him,

“If you despise Luci so much, then why would you help me?” by now it’s quite obvious that Lilith is connected to Luci in one way or another.

It takes the words out of him with an abrupt halt. It’s the first time she’s actually beat Killian at an argument and render him speechless. So instead, he clicks his tongue and sinks into the chair, tapping his fingers against the arm rest. He takes another moment to gaze out the windows, watching her curtains flutter like dancing specters, clouds, casting shadows as they drift past. Chatters of the crowd beneath them bustling in as white noise. Someone's obnoxiously trying to serenade a prostitute with offpitch singing outside the brothel a few houses down.

He finally brings himself back to admit difficultly,

“I didn’t despise her.” in a very soft voice,

“In fact, I deflected to her side. Compared to the rest of the Elite Ten, her ideals were much more peaceful in comparison.” so Killian knows Luci’s wish too,

“What were her ideals?” and she’s making Killian explain it to her,

“Luci can resurrect the dead.” Lilith already knows that,

“Yeah, but as mindless zombies-”

“She can choose to give their consciousness back to them.” that's contradicting!

"You were the one who told me, no matter how strong an adventurer is, they can't grow limbs back, can't replace missing organs and can't resurrect the dead." he reminds,

"Normally that is. God-tiers and Demigod tiers are anomalies who's broken these rules through cannibalism." it suddenly strikes her,

“So you're saying, she can make everyone immortal?” her zombies were incredibly resistant to damage.

“Near immortals." he corrects, "the same as a first-generation Demigod, no one will die to a mortal wound, no one will die of famine or disease.”

“But if she can do that, then why didn’t she? Why didn’t she give Lanara’s consciousness back?”

“She can’t be selective about it. There are two caveats to her Necromancy, one, she needs a corpse and two, she either restores everyone’s consciousness that she’s controlling, or no one’s at all. But, what do you think happens if she were to give her undead army their free will back?” Lilith gets it,

“They... won’t fight for her anymore.” is that why Luci tried to kill everyone? She challenges,

“Then why didn't Luci try to talk to the Elite Ten? Work something out together.”

“Are you even hearing yourself right now?” Killian scoffs at her,

“Is she supposed to stroll up to the enemy and request, hey, let me kill you and give you immortality? Who is going to believe the witch whose siblings caused such massive destructions. Who is going to believe the malicious entity they’ve been fighting for millennials?” pointing out,

“What makes you think they won’t immediately attack her on sight?”

They would. Killian’s right... Feno tried to kill her on suspicions alone. Jolting forward, Lilith pries,

“Then why did you believe her?” it’s making him sigh laboriously as if it’s something that he’d wish he hadn’t known,

“Because I saw it with my own eyes.” that confuses her, “what do you mean?”

“Nana Rinheart. You know him from Feno’s memories?” she does. Notifying Killian with a nod, he elaborates,

"That kid was dead to the adventurers when we found him. I witnessed Luci bring a half-decomposed body back to life.”

Nana was dead? And Luci’s made Nana a demigod? Then, was the emblem she drew on herself a fluke to throw Feno off? She couldn’t have died from that chest wound in the first place. This would explain Nana’s unwavering loyalty to her. Something still isn’t lining up,

“But I thought you said Luci couldn’t exclusively give just one person’s consciousness back?”

“That was before she made the army. It was the first time she’s discovered she can do that too. But it wasn’t without backlash. The laws of Vita dictate, if you give life to another, you’ll have to sacrifice your own. And just giving life to one person, took half her Vita away. She didn’t have much remaining from the first divine war to begin with." it’s making sense, she was severely weakened when Feno’s encountered her,

“But if that’s the case, how is Luci supposed to resurrect the entire world?”

“The same as Dal’gore the more a God-tier Mythical kills, the stronger they get. And for that to happen, she’ll need to surpass being a God-tier Mythical and become a literal God. The God of death and life. She’ll need to become Armageddon itself.” Killian finally reveals to her with a sigh,

“That was the true reason why she’s started the war. First to revive her family, then, to revive everyone else. It’ll trivialize the meaning of death and destruction if people didn't drop dead so goddamn easily, if life wasn’t so fucking fragile. But of course, she’s lost. That wasn’t how history went.” So, this is why he’s deflected. After finding out what she could do, he’s chosen to side with Luci’s ideals. He sounds bitter about it. Killian wanted Luci to win.

Lilith asks, “why did you betray her then, you stabbed her in the heart.” this question’s making Killian clench his fists again,

“It was a figurative stab.” Killian corrects,

“The moment she attacked. Atlantia Empire’s guild leader found out my betrayal. He gave me the last warning. Either I double cross her or he obliterates my entire guild and make sure there’re no bodies left to even bury. I told that bastard what Luci was capable of but he didn’t share her ideals. He didn’t believe me, even if he did, he didn’t want the world Luci envisions.”

“Why not?”

“The future Luci wants isn’t something she can decide on her own. The power is within the people. And knowing people, will we ever stop fighting? What guarantees that we won’t use our new found immortality to cause even greater destruction?” he breathes,

“I had to make a choice.” the way his eyes are wavering now, says enough that it wasn’t an easy choice for him to make. He didn’t want to betray her. Killian scoffs,

“The war was already unfolding. I was being pressed by both sides. Luci had her suspicions on me, but she’s never once called me out for it. She stupidly, wholeheartedly, believed that I would choose her in the end. Ironically, that’s only made it even harder.” he’s regretting his decision, swallowing dryly,

“I begin leaking her attack plans. Persuading her to fall into traps that we’ve set. I played the part in her downfall.” burying his face into his palms, his pony tail, falling over his shoulder like webs,

“But it hadn’t matter. When the war was over. When she was defeated. My guild was long dead to Atlantia Empire. He deemed I was bewitched by her so the guild leader killed them in cold blood the moment he’s found out about my treachery. Continued using them as leverage over me even in their deaths.” it’s no wonder Killian called Atlantia Empire’s guild leader a bastard,

“Yet I was spared for my contributions.” Killian’s cackling about it as if it’s something funny,

“My slate was wiped clean so I could join another guild and pretend to be a good contributing member of society.” there’s so much sarcasm in his voice when he’s said that line.

Killian’s hurting...

Unwittingly, Lilith stands up and approaches him with a hand outstretched,

“Killian?” maybe that’s the reason why he’s booted from Maverick. The guild leader must’ve found out about his past. This is what Killian’s been hiding from her all along. This is the thing Luci wanted her to hear from him.

The moment Lilith gets close enough, Killian lifts his head up and swats her hand away with a scowl. But he isn’t looking at her. He’s looking through her with something incredibly bitter in his eyes. He’s looking at Luci inside her. Killian took her in, because she resembles Luci. He must’ve recognized her the moment he saw her.

Then what is this pain that’s narrating on his face right now?

A different type of torment that’s tearing him apart. That isn’t all there is to this story. Lilith is starting to figure out,

“You,” this expression he’s making, as if he’s seeing the person, he admired in the body of a child with not a single shred of her former self remaining.

It’s yearning.

“You liked her...” more than that. A deeply embedded regret that he wishes to correct. A grave mistake he wishes to mend but he knows he’s long lost his chance. So, he’s replaced it with hatred, with blame, to preserve his heart. Them both. That’s why they were so hostile towards each other despite being past allies. Luci must’ve liked him too to describe his betrayal the way she did.

Killian isn’t correcting her assumption.

That burns...

Taking a step back, Lilith can’t help but to breathe another,

“I’m sorry.” she can’t be Luci. Lilith’s very existence is torturing him.

But Killian’s found himself again, not as a traitor to his former lover, but a father to his daughter, he admits difficultly,

“I don’t know what you are. But I know she sent you to me.” the next sentence he didn’t need to voice for Lilith to understand, it’s to get back at him for betraying her because she knew Killian won’t turn her down. Luci is using Killian’s guilt to keep her safe.

Lilith swallows dryly,

“But why? Why did she trap herself inside me?” tilting her gaze to watch Killian rise up his chair. With a sigh, he shrugs,

“Like hell I know what’s going on in her mind. Luci was always difficult to predict.” before he warns in a quieter voice,

“Don’t trust Rosemary. I don’t know what she’s scheming, but she was likely investigating about you.” it reminds her,

“Is that why you wrote me the note?” that seems to perplex him,

“What note?”

“The note that says don’t trust anyone, don’t say anything. You had Rosemary’s familiars deliver it to me.” it isn’t ringing any bells in his head, looking at her skeptically, he grips beneath his chin,

“I didn’t write that to you.” then who did?

“They even mimicked your handwriting.” it’s alarming Killian a little,

“Be cautious about it. It could be from either friend or foe.” he’s flickering his eyes beyond her to the bed behind,

“Even friends can turn to foes.” she chases his glance to look over her shoulders towards Cyan. He’s still lying motionlessly, Killian reveals,

“He’s been awake for a while now. Since Odion's brat is important to you, I trust you can sort it out on your own.” putting a heavy hand atop her head to give her a pat,

“Be careful, kid.” he heaves defeatedly. Approaching the exit to give her privacy. Before he leaves, Killian tilts over his shoulders to address her, his voice has softened around the edges,

“I don’t want to see a bounty on your head.”

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