THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS IN MOM'S CAR. My mind, so overwhelmed by the mere fact of reality, had taken a blank on the world. I was so distressed and confused, questioning what was real and what was fragment of my imagination. My mom being the doll she is knew something was up instantly and insisted on me staying a little while in the hospital and have some more tests done to see if my mentality was okay. I refused, obviously. I hate hospitals with a deep passion and nothing could ever change my feeling on that matter, not even my craziness.

The scenery passed by in blurs. It was raining outside (nothing unusual for Montana weather) and I felt the urge to sit in the rain and relax. Mom would never allow that, though. Not now at least.

I tried my best to ignore everything unnatural. I really tried. The whole car ride I ignored any and everything strange that happened to me these past days. I kept my sleeve rolled down the entire time, even as a part of me was begging to ask my mom why she didn't question the tattoo earlier. Can she not see it? If so, then I really must be going mad. There is no logical explanation to why she wouldn't be able to see it if I can. It's as clear as day.

Then, there was the voice. That sickening, disembodied voice that kept talking to me. The questions are bore, the complaints, the sass—I can't take it and I just started hearing it thirty minutes ago.

'I'm not the worse thing in the world! Jeez, have some respect, will you? You should rejoice at my voice, human! I'm something so much greater than you!' The voice screeched within my head, somehow reaching high decibels. I thought you can't change the tone of your thoughts?

I let out a sad sigh, ignoring the worried look of my mother. She's been doing this the whole time, sneaking glance at me and asking me if everything's okay. Knowing that I can't tell her this matter, I had to lie. And God, it pains me so much to lie to her. She's such a good person and I've never lied to her in my life, but some reason, I feel like a lot more it going to change starting today.

I shook my head. No, I tried reassuring myself, that's the voice talking...

'No it wasn't. That was you talking, stupid. Don't lump my beautiful voice with yours.'

I want to punch myself. I wonder if I could pull that off without mom noticing. But, alas, I kept my hands away from myself and ignored everything around me the best I could. I'm sure, like any other person, if I ignored my... insanity... it should go away, at least for a while?

I hope so, at least.

Colors varying from greens to browns filled my vision outside the car's window, creating a space if peace within my head as I drowned the strange voice out. I think I should pick up some stress-relieving hobbies or anything because the stress was really starting to make me crazy.

Our yellow house finally came into view. It was a small, two-story house that looked as if it belonged to a grandmother. But, it was home.

Mom pulled into the driveway and shut the engine of the car off. I waited for her to get out of the car so I could follow suit, but she never did. That's when I knew she wanted to get something off her mind.

It took her a while, but after thirty minutes, mom finally spoke. "Sweetie... I know you're going through a lot right now, but I need to know what happened." She spoke ever so softly, her voice resembling a goddess. I sighed, eyes still planted on the scenery outside my window before I nodded.

And for her, I would tell her the whole truth.

"This is going to sound... crazy," I started, biting my bottom lip as I snuck a sideways glance to mom. She nodded, face completely serious. She wanted these answers now, I noticed. "I was walking Sadie down the usual street and she started acting weird. It was really creepy."

She gave me a puzzled look. "Weird? How weird?"

"Weird like behaving good. She sat down and just looked forwards. It was creepy, so I tugged on her collar to go home but the collar snapped, and next thing I knew I was running in the woods after her trying to get her before she hot lost or hurt." I spoke swiftly, trying as hard as possible to get this explanation over with. Even as fast as the words flew from my lips, mom understood everything and nodded along. So, I continued.

"I caught her and... and started running with her in a random direction—" As soon as the word random fell from my lips, mom broke my sentence with rage.

"Genevieve! Why in God's name would you do that? God, no wonder you got lost..." she murmured angrily and I said nothing back. I know I must've worried her to hell and back, she didn't need me fighting back.

"You know I'm a puss—that I get scared easily," I cut off the cursing when I saw her pointed stare. "And I just really wanted to get out of there, so I ran..." I don't think I can tell her. After seeing her serious face filled with such worry as a mother, I didn't want to worry her even further. But, as a mother, she should know what happened in full truth, it was her right. I would feel guilty not telling her.

But what if she thinks I'm crazy, I thought, countering myself. I looked at mom once more before coming to my decision. She wants this, she needs this.

"Mom, this is going to sound crazy. But please, please believe me." I pleaded, trying my best to look as serious as mom could look. A little taken aback, she nodded confidently, but I could see the anxiety sewn in her features. "I found a really pretty flower while I was running, and I know I'm so stupid! But I couldn't help myself, I felt like I was being hypnotized to touch it. I couldn't think of anything else but touching the flower." I rushed, body flooded in a feeling I couldn't identify.

Talking about the flower made me feel so many things... pain and disappointment in myself, but behind all that pain I could feel a little... a little...

'It's exhilarating, isn't it?' The voice chucked within my head, answering for me. I shook my head, completely ignoring it. It will pass.

I focused back on mom, who was waiting for me to continue. "So I did. And I kept squeezing it and-and I was like a different person. The rose sunk into my skin mom! How does that happen? It literally soaked itself in my arm like one of those fake tattoos. I-I know this sounds--"

"Completely insane. Yeah, it does." Mom sighed, putting her head in her palms. She sighed, mumbling something incoherent before looking up at me with sad eyes. "I shouldn't have asked, you're clearly still suffering symptoms of the fall. Sweetie, why don't you go and get some rest, okay?" She smiled sadly, a skinny hand cupping my face motherly.

Now, I wanted to cry. The one person in the world I wanted and needed to believe me didn't. Of course she didn't, I thought bitterly. I must be going insane, after all. Maybe I did need some rest. I shoved my emotions behind a facade and smiled at her, eyes glistening.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, mom." I pecked her cheek and got out the car, my face instantly dropping when I saw out of eyesight. Suddenly, the feeling of wanting to cry bombarded my entire being and I went straight to my room. Locking my door, I flopped on my bed and allowed the feeling complete and absolute despair to fill me up to the rim. I wouldn't cry, though. It was really easy to tell when I cry with my fair complexion.

It was almost sunset and the birds were chirping their goodnights to one another. I sighed, rolling to the left side. My eyes felt heavy underneath all the stress and all I needed now was some sleep.

I caught sight of multicolored print on my left arm. Not even that could force my eyes awake.

________

"Eve, please stay home today. I'm scared you still need to take it eas--"

I cut mom off with yet another one of my famous sighs. "Mama! Please, I need to go before I'm late. I'll be okay, trust me." I begged, giving her my best puppy dog look. She shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest. Oh no, she was going in overprotective mother mode. I did not need this first thing in the morning, that was for sure.

"Eve, you're staying home and that's final." She said through pressed lips.

"I feel better, though! Plus, seeing my friends will make me feel even better, I haven't seen them since break. I swear, if I start feeling faint, I go to the office and take a nap. Or, some ibuprofen." I nervously bargained, hoping to God that she would give in. She uncrossed her arms and kept her stare on me, squinting her eyes and she looked me up and down, possibly looking for any signs of illness.

"Fine." Said mom through clenched teeth. I yelped yes and run upstairs to grab my already packed bookbag and my phone off my nightstand. When I came back downstairs, I noticed mom talking on the phone with someone. She saw me as I was walking out the front door and motioned me to stay. I groaned and sluggishly walked to her side.

"Mhm, yeah... just keep an eye on her, 'kay? Good, thanks Luca, this means a lot to me." I gaped at her as she hung up. Seeing the bizarre look on my face, she went, "what? This is part of our deal if you go to school." It took me a few minutes to find the ability to speak correctly after hearing that name come out of her mouth. There was no way in hell she just called him.

"Please tell me you didn't." I pleaded, my heart racing. Racing from fear, from anxiety. I didn't want to see him, I really did not want to see him right now after all the shit I'm going through. She shrugged and put her phone back in the pocket of her jeans as if saying it is what it is. But, it wasn't just that to me--oh, it didn't even come close. Calling him was the worst option possible, but I couldn't tell her that.

I can't.

She gave me a look. "What? You two used to be close as peas in a pod. Heaven knows why you decided to stop being friends with him, he's such a good boy, Eve. I think reconnecting with an old friend will help you cope." You don't understand! I wanted to scream at her, I wanted her to call him and tell him I can't go anymore. I gulped, casting my eyes to look down at my feet as I analyzed possible options I could take other than anything that ended in the name Luca.

Then, it came to me. I guess I wasn't meant to go to school, after all. There was no way anymore. I sighed, sad I couldn't see my friends but glad I wouldn't see him. Mom, noticing my sudden sadness and uneagerness to go to school, stopped what she was doing and walked towards me again. I could tell by the way she was walking that she was going to be firm with me.

You see, mom likes Luca. Hell, she loves him as if he were her son. Which, she had hoped whenever since we were kids. You can imagine her joy when we started actually dating. We were in love, blissfully, even. But bliss is temporary blindness and I was blind to the truth of the love of my life. To his facade, to the mask he wore on his pretty face. He was polished in porcelain and stuffed with razors.

"What? I thought you wanted to go to school?" She asked, hands on her hips. I bit my lip and shook my head, fighting the urge to not lie to her, but I knew what I wanted to do.

"Actually, I feel ill. My head's spinning and--"

"Genevieve, are you actually trying to lie to me right now?" Mom hissed. I flinched, clearly not expecting her to be angry with me. She never gets angry unless it about something she actually cares about. Guess she still loves to think of the chance of us being together. I sucked in a huge breath.

Just breathe. Breathe, Genevieve.

"Mom, I can't go with him, I'll just stay home," I grumbled, stomach starting to actually feel nauseous. To think I completely forgot about him till now. What I would do to forget again.

Mom sighed. "And why is that? He's a good boy, Eve. Why did you even break up with him,'" she whispered that last part to herself, shaking her head in disapproval. But, she couldn't do anything about who I date and knew deep down that he and I would never work out ever again. Mom knew how fixated I was about forgetting him, forgetting out chemistry and our old love. She, however, wasn't doing any forgetting anytime soon.

"Mom, he..." I started saying, almost slipping too much, "...it's awkward between us. I don't think we can be friends anymore, not after dating and all..." I mumbled, making lies up as I go. She, believing me, gave me her 'are you kidding me' look and shook her head at me.

"You're kidding me? That's all your reason is? Eve, you begged me to go to school and now you don't want to go over a boy? Wha--" Her sentence was cut short when the doorbell rang. Mom replaced the frown on her face to your everyday award-winning motherly smile. "That must be him now," and with those words she took off to the door, leaving me in my petrified state.

My blood froze over, stilling my body in place in the hallway. I grew completely rigid in my stance, heartbeat continuously pounding louder and louder with each and every beat. I couldn't do this, I wouldn't. Suddenly, what happened to me the other day seemed like a teddy bear rather than an actual man-eating bear. If that wasn't the bear, then who was?

"Luca!" Mom cheered and from the corner of my eye, I could see her give him a hug.

Him.

"Hello, miss Paris. Lovely to see you again." He complimented her, making her coo at him. Though his face looked calm, I could see the utter paranoid insanity in his eyes.

He's the bear.

"How have you bee, Luca--"

"Where's Genny? Is she okay? You said something happened? Can I see her?" Luca rushed out, completely cutting off mom's sentence. Not thrown off a bit at his rudeness, she instead laughed. She really likes him and there was nothing I could do to shake that love.

'Yes, there is. There's a lot of things, but you won't say them.' Said that foreign voice again. Right now, for some reason, talking to a voice in my head didn't seem as bad as talking to Luca did.

No, I agreed with the voice, I can't.

"Haha, still a lovesick puppy. Young love, how I miss it." Mom joked with him, pulling him inside my house. Stepping on my rug, within the security of my own home. I paled like a deer caught in headlights when his eyes found mine, a devious glint in them as they stared me down, predator to prey.

My fingers trembled as I played with the hem of my school skirt. The voice tisked within my head as if she were shaking a finger disapprovingly at me.

'No, you can. But you won't.' She countered, voice haunting my thoughts. I knew it was right, for some reason, I was agreeing with a disembodied voice as if it were out of sanity.

"Ahh, there she is! The princess of the castle!" Grinned Luca, eyes darkening at the sight of my still figure. I shivered under his gaze, looking back at my feet. In my line of vision, his feet stepped in, close enough that I knew if I looked up, there he would be, in my face. Always too close. Telling me he's a part of me.

"Eve, say hi." Mom demanded, although playfully.

Mom. That's right, I forgot she's here. I mustered up all the strength I could find while being in Luca's presence and, finally, looked up. My eyes met oceanic ones that, if you didn't know him, would think was beautiful. Oh, how ugly they were to me. Those devilish eyes of his I wish to desperately stab out until he was on the ground, crying because of me. Of me, not him. He needs to take my old place and see--no, feel--what it was like. What it's still like.

I smiled. This smile was the frosting on a burnt cake. "Hey... Luca." His grin widened, reaching his ears. I could see the look in his eyes, the satisfaction.

"I missed you, Genny. Did you miss me?" He spoke in that boyish way that made mom laugh. She couldn't tell the double meaning behind his question and I didn't blame her. She would never know, I could never tell her.

So, I brought my smile higher. "Of course."