《Cutthroat》Episode 2: Chapter 23 - That thing called fear

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I received the blow. My right arm dripped with blood as his blade ran deeper under my skin.

“Violet!”

I hear Theo’s voice tremble behind me. Is he worried? Why? This much is nothing. I looked straight at the eyes of the man that he trusted. His blue eyes were dull and his face was expressionless.

Hypnosis?

I felt like sighing, if he can only see himself I bet he’d ask me to kill him. I held the hand holding his sword and put strength on my grip while reinforcing it with qi. A crack wonderfully resounded and slowly, his hand loosens at my grip and the sword clumsily falls on the ground while gashing my skin. I might’ve broken some of his bones but it’ll heal.

“Get a hold of yourself.”

I said under my breath accompanied by a punch on his gut. Having all the air escape from his lungs all of a sudden, he fainted and fell on my arms. I heard Theo stir behind me pulling himself up from his injuries.

“Stay, here.”

I tossed the deadweight towards his master and passed qi to my wounded arm. To our enemies’ surprise, blood stopped dripping and the wound closed straight away.

“Wha?! I-I thought there’s no one here capable of healing magic!!!”

Denying what he saw, I, myself stopped at his words.

Magic? What magic?

I readied myself, not preferring any stance. I was angry, Theo was wounded and Henry was not himself, I left these scum alone because that fucking old man said he was ready! I cursed giving a side glance towards Mastris, one filled with anger and bloodlust.

I gripped my hands tightly, I killed some of them earlier but it wasn’t enough. My blood boiled, my nails dug into my palms tearing my flesh while my teeth gritted. I felt a extreme urge to get my hands onto someone and crush their neck.

My anger continued to build up, I should’ve done something, I should’ve prepared for the worst.

Kill more. No, I need to…

I let qi flow freely inside my body, right now, every hit will make you wish you were dead. One brave armored man lunged at me with a dagger.

“You dare?”

My voice was filled with anger, I released bloodlust at my enemies. I caught his arm and punched his left side with the free flowing qi in my body, the armor caved in and I was sure his kidney is definitely damaged.

Still not satisfied, I swept his leg, he fell clattering backside down and I delivered a kick to that same side while holding his arm to keep him in place.

Another punch then went down to the same area and his mouth foamed at that last hit. The left side of his armor caved in and the thin metal ripped with the succeeding attacks, his ribs were definitely broken and his left kidney is now worthless.

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Mastris’ men arrived and surrounded the rest of the assassins but their eyes were trained at me. They were trembling, yet those eyes, those fear-filled eyes felt so familiar. I let my fist heal from the ruptured armor but I was still angry, the urge to kill is still there but it couldn’t be helped.

The soldiers are scared and wary of me, I don’t want to cause trouble for Theo.

I clicked my tongue in frustration and gazed at the assassins, most of them fell down while others who were strong enough to withstand my bloodlust, panicked. They looked around and seeing as they were surrounded, some cursed at us for being there while some were scared and gave up.

“This is supposed to be an easy job! DAMN YOU— BITCH!!!”

Sounds fitting for a villain, I want kill him myself but I can’t. I was still filled with anger so I slowly forced it to leave my body. Soon, after overcoming fear, the old man’s soldiers rushed towards them with swords in hand.

Seeing as it was finished, I sighed deeply and flicked my unfurled hair to let the wind pass through my back. I feel sweat trickle down my back, I felt unease. I questioned as to why I even broke a sweat. They were small fries, even without my memories I know I can defeat all of them barehanded.

But why was I so angry? Because Paige’s birthday was ruined? Because Theo got hurt?

Yes, I owe Theo and the others but it shouldn’t be enough to garner this much anger. I looked at my palms and saw how deep my nails dug. I sighed and healed the wounds I made myself.

Ah~… no good. I forgot about those two.

When I turned around, I saw Theo bleeding from his injuries. Paige and Peter tended to him and some of the soldiers carried Henry together with Liam. Anger, frustration, once again these feelings. I grit my teeth and felt my cheek twitch at the sight of Theo’s blood.

What’s with this?

I wondered about the swirling feelings in my heart. I've never felt like...

Never?

It felt like I'll uncover unpleasant memories so I immediately stopped that train of thought.

But magic, though? I thought what Theo said was just something like a branding or grouping. Like a platoon or something, with those elements being the name of the platoons. And what happened with Guren was just him messing with that henna tattoo or something. I thought he made a mistake but the pain was too much so I hoped I was just hallucinating, but those balls of fire inside and the watery glass that surrounded Theo.

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I looked at my hands, the memory of that glowing black orb annoyed me. Is that my magic?

“Tsk.”

I felt annoyed, I don’t know why but that blackness makes me feel helpless. Is it because I can’t remember anything? Where is this? Why am I here? Why did I forget? What happened to me? Why does everything feels so unfamiliar, yet a weapon in my hand feels comfortable. Why do I feel a sense of fulfillment when I see blood dripping from my enemies? The feeling of bones being broken with my touch. Why do I have these skills that lets me kill dozens of men twice my size? And most importantly,

Who am I?

I saw them being carried inside to be treated, I watched and inhaled, breathing the cold night air. The situation felt somewhat familiar. Something I’m used to. The battlefield? It’s hard to discern due to my memory loss but my body remembers. The feeling of adrenaline pumping and slowly calming it down with practice and it’s easier with the help of the cold air. The familiar yet different dress I’m wearing and the smell of blood circling through the air. It’s all so familiar.

“… umm… Lady Violet?”

A small voice squeaked behind me, almost like a whisper, it made me strain my ear to hear. After all the bustle leaving, someone is still here? Ignoring the voice, I continued pondering about myself, this familiar feeling and that anger. I was still angry and I don’t mean to be rude but I feel like if I stop now I’ll be grumpy later.

But the presence stayed, I know I stood there for a while and I already know it’s Paige just from the voice, but why is she still here? Since I’ve calmed down plenty, I guess I can entertain her.

“Hm?”

“Ah! Umm… well… ar-are you wounded… or anything…?”

Her voice trailed off. What is she scared off? Is it me? I wonder…

“Hm. Are you scared?”

Of me…

I couldn’t say it. I’m scared of being hated. I know that Theo and especially Henry are already wary of me and tolerates me but her… I don’t want to be hated. She’s somewhat familiar…

“Ye-yes! I mean, NO! Umm… maybe a little… b-but you were there and there were a lot of them… and umm…”

I felt like a frustrated sigh will escape my lips so I closed it tight. She fidgets and her pinkish-golden eyes swim. I chuckled as I see the young girl panic just to soothe me. I reached for her head and with a pat pat, I smooth out her hair.

“Calm down.”

Pat, pat, pat. I pet her until I was satisfied. Her fluffy red hair felt good on my hands, it looked unruly due to the waves but it passed through my fingers smoothly and felt very fluffy. I saw her cheeks flush and squirm underneath my hand. I just met her the other day but she seems so familiar, like she reminds me of someone.

Paige continued to melt under my hand and her figure seem to want to shrink even further. Then steps, hardy steps entered. With just those steps, I knew right away who it was. My senses were sharp and I understood that it was abnormal.

I am abnormal.

It was reflected on his eyes, the young man who entered the courtyard. His red fiery eyes that experienced such sights saw me as an abnormality. His guard was up as he rushed towards his sister.

“Miss Violet, my father calls for you.”

His eyes narrowed while forcibly pulling his sister from me. And to her shock, she tripped but was caught in his chest. You really are a siscon.

“Hm. Where?”

I smiled, stopping a chuckle leaking from my lips.

“I shall guide you. Paige, go and see to his highness.”

Oh, you’re sending her away? You’re that wary of me? Hmm… but I understand.

The flustered girl nodded her head and ran away. Such a cute being, she definitely reminds me of someone, maybe that pink haired girl in my fuzzy memories? I’ll make her stay with me until I remember. But first, I shifted my gaze from Paige towards her older brother.

“Please, this way.”

I followed with a scent of blood trailing from my hands and dress, I passed through the halls relaxed, with no tension. If things go south, I might need to escape. I can retrieve everything Theo gave me so the only problem is, where do I go?

I was rude earlier when I got angry but I doubt things will go that far. We’ll just see.

I looked at the window and saw the bright moon. What a great night for a failed assassination. Another smile crept up my face but this time, instead of amused, I mocked the stupidity of those assassins.

Ah~ what a wonderful night…

In a blink of an eye, the anger subsided and the adrenaline was washed away by the cold spring wind.

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