I make good on my promise and climb into the backseat of Alix's car with a few minutes to spare.

"Just in time," Zee says with a glance at Alix. "I was on the verge of murdering him."

Alix is slapping his hands against the steering wheel in a steady beat, "car drumming" as he calls it. He says it's to get drumming practice in while he's driving; I suspect he just does it just to annoy Zee.

He doesn't turn around, but I see him wink at me in the rearview mirror before curling his lips into a wolfish grin.

"Hey Ashling," he says as he puts the car into reverse. "Welcome back to the land of the living".

Alix is one of the most wanted guys in the senior class, and he knows it. With a tall, tan, muscular physique, chiseled features and dark wavy hair courtesy of his Greek ancestry, he's built up a reputation as the Adonis of Huntson High.

At least six girls in our sophomore class have a crush on him. Zee and I know this all too well – as Alix's younger sister, Zee's been approached more than once by girls who want her to put in a good word for them.

I don't like him in that way, but sometimes the old me surfaces for just a moment. I feel embarrassed that he's seeing me like this. I look rough. The girl I used to be in middle school would never go out in public looking like I do now. I'm dressed down in skinny jeans, ancient converse sneakers and an oversized red hoodie over a camisole.

My hair is piled on top of my head in a damp blonde messy bun, still wet from the shower. There are dark circles under my eyes.

When did I stop caring?

We reach a stop sign and Alix starts flipping through radio stations.

"By the way Ashling, still up for band practice tomorrow?" He says as his eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. "Our parents are out from six. Which means..."

"You're going to make double the racket you usually do," Zee finishes off. "Kill me now!"

"Yeah, six is fine," I say.

I started playing together with Alix and his best friend Micah as a band last summer – ever since Zee told Alix that I sing and play guitar. I think she regrets that now.

The band's one of the few things I really care about any more, and recently I'm starting to have doubts about even that. It's been taking up more of my time recently, and I've slipped into the routine of spending at least one afternoon a week in Alix and Zee's dad's garage, aka our practice space.

When I'm singing, it's like I'm not myself. It's the only time I can drown out the worries, the awareness of other people, the fear... and just be. The band’s become like a lifeline for me.

That's why I have to leave.

Alix is still flipping through radio stations when we hear a familiar voice announce "...up next we'll be talking with the boys of mega hit progressive rock band Fable, ahead of tonight's performance at the Rose Quarter. Stay tuned to 94.8 Best of Portland FM for more."

Zee makes a sound I've never heard before, something between a gasp and an inward scream.

"Ohmygod ohmygod OHMYGOD," Zee shrieks.

Alix's hand is already heading to the dial to change the station, and Zee smacks it away just in time.

"It's my car," he says, reaching again for the dial "and I'll change the station if I want to."

"Don't you dare, kyrios kalamatianos," she tells Alix, sounding all the more scary for her upbeat tone. I don't know what the name means, but it works on him every time.

He sighs but doesn't try to change the station again.

"Maybe there'll be some clue about where they're staying," she says seriously as she turns to face me. "I don't know if I can wait until tonight."

Tonight. The event everyone's been waiting for forever, and I'm the only one of my friends missing out.

"Wow, this whole day is going to be torture," I say.

I instantly regret saying it – the smile slips from Zee's face.

"I'm really sorry Ashling. I keep forgetting,” she says. “You want me to turn it off?"

"Of course not!" I reply. "I want you guys to have fun tonight. Send me some pics and I'll be fine."

I already know she'll probably forget to send me anything. She'll be too busy enjoying every moment of it. Singing, dancing, trying to catch a glimpse of one of the boys.

It's kind of ironic that she's going tonight and I'm not. When we first became friends two years ago, just after I moved from Southwood Lakes to Huntson High, she had no clue who Fable even were.

Back then they were still taking off. They were just some unknown group of boarding school boys in Wales uploading their songs to YouTube from the one guy's dorm room.

Now the whole world's in love with them, and being one of their first fans from before they were famous hasn't helped me at all. Zee's going tonight, and I'm not.

What makes it even worse is that it's the first (and possibly last) time Fable are performing in Portland, and it almost didn't happen – we were added on right at the end of their world tour.

There was anarchy at school when the news broke. One tweet was all it took. Singing in the hallways. Girls crying out of happiness. Beth Donklin, Fable's self-appointed No.1 fan, actually fainted in gym from all the excitement and had to go home early. It was crazy.

Since then the buzz in the corridors has been building, sort of like the build up to Summer Break, but better. Way better. All for this one magical night.

Magical for everyone except me, that is.

I know it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I want to go so badly that it hurts. Not just for myself, but to keep a promise I made. The one thing I'm still holding on to and sticking around for. Unfinished business, if you will.

But I just can't do it.

I already have a pretty good idea of what'll happen if I go, and there's no way I could do that to my friends. Despite my best efforts, I’ve grown to care about them.

And that can only be a bad thing for me.