《The Friendly Neighborhood Nightmare Caller》Chapter 4: Too much training can be hazardous to your health.
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(Narrator POV)
A new day begins for our newly founded heroes. Taiyo and Tsuki charge from their empty and all around boring room, excitedly, and head towards the base. There, they are directed to room 108, the squad’s meeting location. They enter the room, no one’s here yet. They sit down and wait… nobody shows up. They are early so it’s only natural no one else is around, right? They start playing patty cake for ten minutes (can you feel the boredom yet?). After five more minutes, they come to the shocking realization that their team is not going to assemble.
“M-maybe they’re just running late,” Taiyo says hopefully to Tsuki.
“Y-yeah,” Tsuki responds unsure.
They bow their head in thought. Then, suddenly, they look up at one another and nod their heads. They storm out of the base and head back toward the residential district, toward their dormitory. Luckily, the day before, everybody received the profiles of the other members and on them was their room numbers, it was just a matter of getting them out. First, was Vaughn. He was in room 207.
*knock* *knock*
The kitsunes knock on his door. No answer.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
Many of the neighboring room doors open. The kitsunes’ loud knocking had caught the attention some of the neighbors, now peering out from inside their rooms.
“Yes?” Vaughn’s distant voice can be heard as the door swings open. He’s wearing casual clothes on his body, That is, what answered the door was only his body. The eerie smoke that pours from neck scans around before noticing the short fox-girls.
“Oh! Hey guys!” Vaughn yells, his voice echoing from within the room. They peak around his body and see that his head, wearing his helmet, is on a coffee table in his living room. Many pictures and replicas of old guns from different eras can be seen hung neatly on the walls. The kitsunes look up at the smokey head of Vaughn, teary eyed.
“Eh- EH?! Calm down, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Um… eh… I’m sorry?” Vaughn says nervously, unsure of what’s going on.
“Hey, did he just make those girls cry?” Someone questions.
“Yeah, what a douche bag,” another one answers.
“SHUT THE HELL UP!” Vaughn screams in his… defense?
“W-we were supposed t-to meet up at th-the training h-hall.” They hiccup as they wipe tears from their faces.
“What?” Vaughn asks confused.
“What time is it?” He looks at the clock on the wall.
“WOAH! I got caught up in my simulations and lost track of time, I’m sorry.” He apologizes.
“I am the only one that’s late, right?” He asks. The kitsunes look at him, tears start pouring even more from their eyes. He walks away, gets his head, puts on his (totally radical) biker outfit, walks out of his room and closes the door.
“Let’s get em!” he says reassuringly. Next, is Vera in room 215, just down the hall from Vaughn. The kitsunes knock lightly on her door.
“Whaaaaat…” Vera groans from inside.
“Open up!” Vaughn says assertively.
“Five more minutes…” Her voice is slightly muffled, her head probably buried in her pillow. Vaughn starts to get upset when the kitsunes chime in.
“Vera, you promised you’d show up for the meeting today.” They start, their voices sounding overly sad. “We waited and waited, but you never showed up.” They say with an obviously manipulative sad tone, that nobody would ever fall for. Vera’s door swings open violently.
“I’m here, my lovelies!!!” She yells. Vaughn facepalms at the fact she fell for that obvious trick. Vera is looking pretty slovenly right now. Wearing nothing more than a tank top with the left strap hanging loosely from her shoulder. The kitsune peer into Vera’s room and are horrified at what they see.
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“Your room is a mess!” They yell at her. Vera turns to look at her room, piles of clothes, papers and… used… tissues. In the pile of… stuff, there is a thin snake-like path leading from the door to the bed.
“Yeah, about that. Cleaning is a real pain and I really don’t feel like-” she is cut off by the fact the kitsunes walked in behind her rolled up her lower half, shoved her her outside her doorway.
“HEY!” She screams charging at them, they slam the door shut causing her to slam face-first into it.
“Geez, are they really gonna clean my room?” she looks over at Vaughn who is just staring at her.
“What are you loo-” She is about to ask before looking at herself. Vera has a habit of never sleeping with a skirt on and seeing as she rushed to the door…
“AAAAAHHHH! PERVERT!!!!!!” She screams covering up her lower bit with her hands. Vaughn jumps in shock. Vera’s neighbors all look out from their rooms.
“What are you so worked up about?” He asks.
“Don’t just look at me without my skirt, dude!” She snaps at him. She looks around at all the people now looking into the hallway, her face turns red. With one hand over her naked part, she knocks on the door lightly.
“Hey, girls, let me in. pleeeaaase?” Vera asks. The twins open up the door wearing dust masks. They shake their heads and slam the door.
“At least give me a skirt!” She pleads. The door swings open and one of Vera’s skirts fly out and impact with her face. She hurriedly puts it on.
“That’s better!” She seems relieved now. Vaughn sighs.
“Why do you even wear a skirt?” He asks. Turns out, when becoming a lamia, Vera’s genitalia were… moved… Let’s just say. she’s more snake in that department.
“It just makes me feel more comfortable. I guess I’m still used to feeling human is all,” she says, her face still bright red.
“Yeah? But you can’t wear underwear right? What happens if someone looks underneath?” He asks curiously.
“That doesn’t matter, it’s not like there’s anything down there for them to see.” She states proudly. Vaughn, at this point, is stunned with the sheer illogic laid out before him. Then it hits him.
“You never wear anything over the base of your tail, in that area, right? Does that mean it’s always hanging out?” He asks concerned. Vera looks at him with a serious look in her eye.
“I’ll break you.” She hisses. He puts up his hands and backs away slowly.
“Ok, ok I get it. We don’t talk about that. Please don’t do anything rash, they haven’t cloned my body yet.” He says nervously.
“Wait, what?” she asks confused.
“I’ll explain later.” He states. Vera’s door swings open. The twins have finished clearing out the septic warzone that was Vera’s room. They drag twenty-three trash bags out into the hall.
“Finished!” They exclaim proudly. Vera looks into her room. Everything was clean, the bed was neat, everything was sparkling.
“Wow,” Vera says astounded.
“Now we can get Fane.” The twins say walking toward the elevator at the end of the hall. Vera and Vaughn look at each other.
“Are we even ready for this?” Vera asks.
“More so, are we equipped for it…” Vaughn states dreading over the uphill battle ahead of them. They move up one floor and head toward room 313. As they walked down the hall they can feel a menacing, fiery aura emanating from Fane’s room. They reach the door, faint heavy metal music can be heard just behind it.
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“So… who’s gonna knock?” Vera asks.
“Well, she seems to hate me the most, so, I’m not doing it.” Vaughn states.
“Vera, you know how to subdue her, right? You do it!” The kitsunes say, laying it all on Vera.
“But, what if she comes out breathing fire and kills me on the spot?” She says staring fearfully at the door.
“Pleeeease?” The kitsunes plead giving Vera the ultimate puppy-dog eyes.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
Vera slams her fist against the door. Vaughn, currently facepalming, again. Fane’s door opens slightly, her music, blaring from her room. She peeks her head out from inside her room and sees the twins fall to the floor holding their ears.
“Turn it off! Turn it off!” They yell. Fane looks back up at Vera giving absolutely no fucks.
“The hell do you guys want?!” Fane asks yelling over her own music. Suddenly, her music shuts off, Vera’s tail had snuck in the crack of the door and hit the radio’s power button. Even though Vera couldn’t see inside she was able to follow the vibrations to their source. The kitsunes stop rolling around in pain.
“You bitch.” Fane snarls.
“The music was hurting the kitsunes.” Vera hisses back. The air thickens with the tension caused by these two reptiles.
“I thought pets weren’t allowed in the building, Vera,” Fane says smugly.
“We’re not pets!” The twins yell.
“Ok, Fane, cool it, it’s time to go train” Vaughn remarks sharply. Fane stares at him.
“Now look here dickhead who the hell do you think you are ordering me arou-” she’s cut off.
“The guy that’s beaten you 13 times in the simulation arena” Vaughn retorts, you can feel the smile plastered on his face.
“Fucker, I’ll kill you…” She stops herself from moving forward. “What do you guys want anyway?” She asks aggressively.
“I JUST TOLD YOU!” Vaughn yells. Fane, unhappy with Vaughn’s lour response, moves to say something accidentally causing her door to swing open, revealing her room to everyone. It can be only described as, uh, gothic? Punkish? Heavy soundproof padding can be seen coating the walls and door and on top of the padding, posters of heavy metal bands, spiked accessories, gore movies and other… gothic punky things. But off against the back wall, out of place, is a table with cute lizard plushes neatly laid out, side by side. Fane walks out of her room, closes her door lightly behind her, blushing.
“Let’s get the fuck outta here.” She says walking toward the elevator. They head to base quietly, together this time, and enter room 108.
“So… What’s the plan?” Vaughn asks as he proceeds to sit in a chair.
“Well, we could try explaining to each other what we have power-wise,” Fane suggests. Everyone looks at her in surprise.
“What?” she asks confused.
“Did you just say something substantial?” Vaughn asks. Fane snorts out a small plume of fire.
“Oi! I’m just sayin’... You know what? Fuck it! Do whatever you guys want.” She says peeved.
“No, no, that was a pretty good idea. Let’s do that. Our profiles don’t have our abilities on them so, at least this way, we’ll have a better understanding of what we’re working with.” Vaughn reassures her. For once, they agree on something.
“Let’s start with the Kitsunes. What do you two have for powers?” Vaughn asks.
“We make people see things!” They say cheerfully. Vaughn sighs.
“And? What about your specialization and tattoo?” Vaughn asks clearly annoyed at their answer.
“Ooooh! We have the Reactive specialization and the Split tattoo. Our illusions are automatic and almost completely realistic. The tattoo we chose made us, well, us.”
“I see, so you two are the same pers-” Vaughn is interrupted.
“Wait! So… they’re not twins?” Vera asks, feeling betrayed. She falls to the floor about to start sobbing before coming to a realization.
“But if they’re not twins, and they’re the same person then...” Her eyes light up and she turns to them menacingly, “I don’t have to choose!” She lunges at them but gets clotheslined by Fane.
“Since you’re so eager to run your mouth, why don’t you go next?” Fane snarls.
“Fine, I’ll go next!” Vera says recovering from the blow.
“My name is Vera, I’m twenty-one years old an-” She’s cut off.
“Don’t start there! We already know your name and we have your profile right here!” Vaughn stops her. Vera sighs.
“Fine! My specialization is womanizing and my tattoo is messing up that sweet pu-” She’s cut off once again.
“Vera, be serious!” Vaughn yells clearly agitated.
“Ok, geez. My specialization is Venom. I’m not all too sure what it does, I mean, I haven’t bitten anyone, yet. Oh! I can spit my venom, so, there’s that. My tattoo is the, uh, what did she say it was? The National Weapon!” Before she can continue Vaughn interjects.
“You mean, Natural Weapon.” He corrects her.
“Yeah, that one! I can fuse anything to myself. Weapons, armor, clothing, medical equipment, pretty much anything I can get my hands on as long as it can fit inside me. Heh! Just realized there was a joke there, anyone else get it?” She pervs out while staring at Fane’s chest.
“Yes, we get it, and stop looking at my tits, fish breath!” Fane snaps. Vera clears her throat.
“Well anyway, yeah, I can move pretty much anything throughout my body, root it firmly onto me or, as I will soon do with my stealth armor, integrate it directly with my body. Basically making my skin as tough as the armor and allowing me to go invisible. That’s why I chose to buy a ton of razor blades, so I can line my body with them. That and I can spread my venom on anything currently fused to me as well. It was a win-win. I can also regenerate ammunition apparently, still wondering how I do that and yet not be able to just magic up some razor blades, or a knife.” She finishes on a serious note probably due to her being far too tired to keep up the witty comments.
“Thank you, Vera, and Fane, what have you got?” Vaughn moves the subject onto Fane.
“Well, I chose Rage as my specialization...” she starts
“No shit…” Vaughn grumbles under his breath.
“What?” Fane looks at him fiercely.
“Oh, nothing. Please, do continue.” He assures her. Fane releases a stream of smoke from her nose and mouth before continuing.
“So, Rage increases my strength and speed. The madder I get, the greater the effect. While enraged my body also gains near instant regeneration. For my tattoo I chose boost, I figured it’d be some kind of percentage growth. Turns out it's literally just a small boost, the same boost for everyone. It increases shit like strength, speed, stamina and what not but by a pathetically small amount.” She states oddly calm about that fact.
“And you just so happen to be strong enough to break an oni’s hand? They’re pretty damn durable you know.” Vera asks suspiciously.
“You saw that?” Fane asks curiously.
“I wasn’t unconscious, just defeated,” Vera replies.
“I see. Well anyway, yeah, I don’t really get what’s going on, but that frail little bitch that gave me these powers said that my disposition fucked with the Boost somehow. My Rage is mysteriously connected to my tattoo. With that in mind, my Rage, as it grows, increases the effects of my Boost.” She scoffs “That means despite the fact my Rage ability drains my stamina faster, my Boost, which is connected to my Rage, keeps replenishing it. That and I gain enough strength to tear apart goddamn golems and speed so fast I outpace fucking harpies. Hell, if I’m mad enough, really only a jet can pass me by, granted, I can’t hear shit while flying at those speeds, can’t see much either. Also, she said something stupid like it was too powerful or some shit like that. How can something be too powerful when you’re supposed to save the world, right? So I punched her in the head before she could fix the issue.” Fane finishes.
“Y-you punched her? Is she still alive?” Vaughn asks flabbergasted.
“I dunno, there was blood and I think chunks of... stuff all over the snowy floor though. All I know is I couldn’t care less and just left her there. My memory is a bit fuzzy since my body was just changed, y’know.” Fane answers calmly. She killed the girl, The entire team thinks in unison completely shocked by what they just heard.
“Well, that’s me, so what about you?” Fane points to Vaughn. He clears his throat and shakes off the thought of Fane beating a little girl’s brains out with a single hit.
“Well, my specialization is Harbinger. It allows me to charge up my weapons, or any of my appendages. That’s why I chose to receive the Anzio 20mm rifle, maximum damage.” He states proudly.
“So that’s what’s been killing me in those simulation battles we did last night?” Fane asks clearly vexed by the thought.
“Yes, that is exactly the thing.” he declares. Fane starts to get frustrated but calms down.
“What? Nothing to say?” Vaughn asks smugly.
“The past is the past right, no reason to get mad over it.” She says contently, resting her head on her hand before whispering under her breath.
“Just because you were too much of a pussy to fight me face to face, goddamn fun nazi.”
“I heard that!” Vaughn retorts, apparently irked by what she just said. He sighs and continues.
“Anyway, it takes quite a bit of time to charge up my shot, usually a decent charge takes up to a minute and a half. Not to mention how obvious I become. From the small vortex of shadows and bright purple flames to making the earth itself literally shake beneath my feet, it’s not exactly subtle. My tattoo, on the other hand, is a trade secret.” Everyone stares at him intensely. He attempts to ignore it, but, resistance is futile. He gives in.
“Fine, if you really must know, it’s Revival. Upon death, I can place my soul inside of another soulless living body.” He informs (There is an opening for a ginger joke.).
“But there aren’t exactly a bunch of soulless fucking bodies out there that I would call living, you know,” Fane says noticing the clear flaw in such a power (Still... resisting... ginger jokes!).
“Wait, is that what you meant by clone, back when the twins were cleaning my room?” Vera asks.
“But of course, the government will provide soulless clones of myself for me to inhabit after death. Due to the reliance on technology, this tattoo was only just recently added to the list of choices.” He states (Ginger... clones... no, I am a classy narrator, I will never stoop to such lows... NEVER!!!). Vaughn feels a tug on his shirt. Looking down he sees it’s the kitsunes.
“Yes?” He asks
“Fane brought up something interesting earlier, you spend a lot of time in the sim, right?” They ask him impatiently.
“Yeah.” He confirms.
“And you never leave your room?” They dig deeper.
“Not really, where is this going?!” Vaughn demands answers about their sudden meddling.
“What do you eat?” They get to the point.
“MREs, I usually stock up on them so I don’t have to go out often.” He informs them.
“WHAT?! That’s it?!” They ask surprised.
“Well, sometimes I go crazy and eat something other than standard MREs.” He assures them.
“And what’s that?” They ask anxiously.
“Sometimes I buy some pita bread and refried beans... I put the beans, on the bread and proceed to gorge myself on that heavenly combo.” Vaughn seems pleased with himself. He then notices the kitsunes looking at him with disgust, no, not just the kitsunes, everyone is looking at him this way, aside from Fane.
“What?” He asks surprised.
“I’ll have you know what I eat is healthy and very much delicious.” He eagerly informs them.
“We’re going to the cafeteria, Vaughn.” The girls say in unison, once again, aside from Fane.
“Um… ok.” Vaughn follows them confused, Fane trailing just in front of him.
“So, why don’t you join them in teasing me? It seems like you missed an opening.” Vaughn says to Fane. She turns her head, she has a dejected expression.
“I really don’t feel like it, is all.” She answers and leaves it there. The team walks into to the cafeteria.
“Sit down here and wait for us.” The kitsunes happily state while pointing at a free table.
“Okay.” Vaughn and Vera say as they take a seat next to one another. Fane inaudibly cursing under her breath sits down opposite of Vera. Vaughn and Vera look over at the kitchen in amazement as the kitsunes, working in perfect unison, preparing a meal. They are quick and precise. After about fifteen minutes of waiting the kitsunes walk out with an amazing looking meal consisting of many different things (Use your imagination!).
“Wow! This looks so good!” Vera shouts in awe. She throws a bit of everything on her plate and starts eating. Vaughn puts some on his plate.
*GROOOOWL*
The sound of someone's stomach growling. Vaughn, Vera, and the kitsunes all look at Fane, her face a glowing bright red. Vaughn has a realization.
“Wait, the reason you weren’t joining in the joke about my eating habits is because you didn’t want to talk about foo-” He is cut off.
“Shut the hell up dickweed! I’m... just a little hungry is all.” She says bashfully.
“Did you eat at all before we entered the sim?” He asks. She shakes her head angrily.
“I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.” She states. The kitsunes slowly push a plate of food toward her, hoping she wouldn’t take it as a sign of disrespect. Fane’s head snaps in their direction, smoke jets from her nostrils. They recoil, Taiyo bumping her back into Tsuki. Fane stares at them for a couple of seconds. She pulls the plate of food to herself.
“Thanks.” She says quietly and starts eating.
“Hey, this is pretty good.” she compliments them, still quiet, eerily quiet for Fane. The twins smile and nod with an excited “Hmph!” as if to say “you’re welcome.” Finally, Vaughn takes off his helmet, and goes to take a bite of what’s laid out before him, thinking it can’t be that much better than pita bread and beans, the ultimate combo, the pinnacle of food! THE VERY LIFE GIVING SUSTENANCE OF THE UNIV-
“THIS IS DELICIOUS!!!” Vaughn yells out in amazement catching everyone off guard (He even cut me off, and I’m the narrator!).
“Where did you guys learn to do this?” Vera asks politely.
“We used to work for a restaurant for a while. We even took classes in highschool.” They say proudly. At this point, the only thought going through Vera’s head is Marry me! Vaughn is still stuffing his face with, what would probably be the best thing he’s eaten in a long while. Even still, his loud munching is rather distracting.
“Hey, throat fucker! Keep it down will you?! I’m trying to eat!” Fane screams at Vaughn.
“Shusht uup nnd injy yurrr-” Vaughn tries to speak with his mouth full but is cut off by Fane.
“If you’re going to cus me out, swallow your damn food first, dipshit!” Vaughn gulps violently.
“You know what? I’m really starting to miss that quiet side of yours, that was goddamn tolerable!” He screams at Fane.
“Hey, guys let’s just enjoy the meal…” The kitsune try to calm them down but they aren’t listening and where else would Vera be, but sleeping on a beam above them on the ceiling. So ends the first day for Squad 108-F, aka Fire with Fire.
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