I wandered through the battlefield, around me there was nothing but corpses of people, mostly kids, and middle-aged people. Most of them died by the arrows and spells shot from the rear, but some died by the spears of the front line and some others died by the blades of the pursuers.

The corpses sometimes hid people still alive, some only seemed dead and were faking death. I pretended I didn't see them and continued wandering around.

I couldn't help but question what I was doing until now, those people gave me a good amount of soul fragments for a low risk, but they were people that didn't deserve to die, they didn't even seem like soldiers.

They were helplessly being slaughtered just to buy time for someone else to do something, but they still almost killed Lae, someone equally innocent.

I didn't know what to do.

I thought again about why I wanted power. I wanted it to change the world, to fight the fate that pushed me down, and gain the power to fight the Madness, like the one in front of me. But what did I just do? I just went around going crazy on weaker people for a modest amount of strength. This wasn't what I wanted to do, I wanted to be free from madness, but I just got myself charmed by it.

I felt useless, why was I becoming stronger if I couldn't control myself? First I almost let Lae die, then I killed people that could have been saved, well not the group fighting the front line, but the father and son could have survived.

That wasn't the first time I lost control, I needed to start setting boundaries, and understand what I wanted to do with my power.

I thought about Mark, that saved Lae, he wanted power to protect those around him, it seemed a simple desire, but at least he knew what he wanted to do. I started to wonder if he was actually smarter than me, no that was impossible, right? Right?

I looked at the battlefield around me, the smell of death and madness filled my nostrils again, I had to make sure not to forget this smell.

I raised my hand and looked at the sky, soon it would be down.

I sighed.

I had some power, I guess it was about time to start using it, at least I could think twice about when to kill people from now on, I only wanted real soldiers, those who would die anyway or that would kill others if left alone.

I wandered around, ignoring the hidden people, and killing only the wounded who had no chance of making it anyway.

Suddenly my magical sense sensed a familiar magic around.

I walked towards it and saw a girl kneeling behind a rock, I could sense the magic coming from that spot, but she seemed to be trying to hide as much as possible the mana dispersed from the spell.

I sneaked behind her and saw a girl in a uniform too big for her, a string of white hair was poking from her helmet.

“Uh, look if it isn't the saintess doing illegal stuff with kids behind a rock.”

Erian interrupted her healing and after looking at me for an instant she shielded the two kids behind her with her body.

“Healing the enemy is illegal you know?”

“I won't let you kill them, go somewhere else, there are probably other survivors around.”

“You're not afraid I won't turn you in or kill you right away and then kill the kids?”

“Turn me in if you want, I don't mind, as for killing them, you try to kill me, then we'll see who'll be the one remaining alive.”

She brought a hand to a wand hung by her belt, the elf girl and high-orc boy behind her shuddered.

I looked at the kids behind her, it was a high-orc boy and an elf girl, she resembled Lae a little.

Erian's eyes showed firmness, she was ready to go through with it, I liked her determination, she was someone that could be kind but also ready to die. She was someone that I regretted not having on my side even more now, only looking at her courage made me want to be braver myself.

I looked at the white, glossy hairs that poked out of her helmet, her red eyes, and her bountiful figure.

Suddenly a thought crossed my head.

'I want her.'

“Sorry, I was just curious, and I love to see your angry reactions, they're kind of cute.”

“W-what? What the hell did you just say?”

'What the fuck did I just say?'

I pretended to be unfazed and said:

“Anyway, I can help you sneak those guys out of here but we have to hurry.”

She was taken aback.

“Stop jocking, what does this mean?”

“It means exactly what I said, I want to help you.”

“Why? What do you gain from it?”

“Nothing in particular, I only like killing people that deserves it and innocent people dying makes me mad, so I want to save those guys.”

What I just said was quite hypocritical considering what I did earlier, but she didn't need to know that, and well, it was the truth, in a way, now.

She looked at me suspiciously.

“The sun is about to rise, we don't have too much time.”

I looked at the kids.

“Do you want to live?”

They nodded desperately.

“Then it's decided, wait here a second.”

I used Shadow Leap on a zone on the edge where I earlier saw a few dead soldiers.

I undressed as fast as I could two imperials corpses and then returned to the rock with their uniforms and helmets.

“Change, fast.”

I looked at the other side and they rapidly changed.

“Now let's go.”

I started walking rapidly towards the edge, the kids followed behind and Erian closed the line, walking reluctantly.

No one interrupted us until we arrived at the very edge, there sentinels were controlling the border of the trees to avoid unexpected raids from it and people escaping to it.

There wasn't a place where there wasn't any patrol, but there were zones less guarded.

I went to a place where there was only one guard, standing alone on a small watchtower made of earth, it was still a bit far away from the wood so we would be noticed if we ran from the place where the guard stood, but it was close enough for me to use Shadow Leap.

The guard was still a problem though.

I continued to walk towards him and Erian came to my side.

“How do you plan to reach the trees without the guards noticing?”

“I'll use Shadow Leap with the kids clinging to me from about the place where that guard is standing.”

“And what do you think of doing to distract that guard?”

“Nothing, I'm gonna kill them.”

“What? You can't.”

“Why? Is the most efficient solution. I mean, two is bigger than one, isn't it? And that is a veteran soldier while those kids are basically civilians. If you have a better idea tell me because I can't think of anything else.”

“There must be something.”

“The sun is rising, we don't have time to stop to think, if you don't have a solution by the time I get there, that guy is dead.”

We continued to walk, and soon we reached the watchtower. I looked at her, she was silent, biting her lips and looking at the ground.

The watchtower was just two meters tall, I could just jump there.

I got closer walking like I was strolling around and the guard saw me.

“Stop right there, who are you?”

I took off my helmet.

“I'm David, a hero.”

He recognized me and did the military salute.

“Sorry for not recognizing you revered hero, still, I'm afraid you can't pass, it's the order.”

“Don't worry, I don't want that, I just wanted to make you know that I saw something in the woods earlier.”

I was now at the feet of the tower.

“What was it? And Where?”

I pointed at a tree.

“You see that tree? I saw something blinking, like the reflection of a torch on a piece of metal.”

The guard looked there and held his torch higher, trying to illuminate as much as he could.

I then jumped on the tower, behind the soldier, and caught him in a chokehold from behind, silencing him.

I started pouring dark mana into his head, trying to kill him with it, but he seemed to be a mage since he managed to resist it with his mana. I changed my approach and enhanced my arms with hellflame ki.

He started resisting my grip desperately, he thrashed around wildly and took out his knife, he managed to plant it in my leg before I could kill him, but I held on, knowing I had a healer on my side.

Then I managed to put enough ki on my arms and snapped his neck with a decided movement.

I heard his spine crack and his neck bent at an unnatural angle.

I then let the corpse fall, gave the fallen torch to Erian, and said.

“Quick, heal me, and keep this torch lit, otherwise they will notice something is wrong.”

Erian didn't say anything, she just looked on the ground but she still took the torch and rapidly healed my wound by pouring a huge amount of healing mana.

I looked at the kids, they seemed to be about sixteen or seventeen, the high-orc was as tall as me and quite robust, but the girl was quite slim, it would be awkward, but I should be able to bring them both across in one trip.

“So, I'm gonna bring you two to the trees with Shadow Leap, d you know what that is?”

They nodded.

“Good, you boy climb on my back, be sure not to touch the ground with your legs, you girl grab me from the front, use both the arms and the legs to stay on me.”

I bent forward and the boy climbed on my back, surrounding my neck with his arms, the girl then hugged me from the front and used her legs to lock herself in place.

“Erian, when I tell you to, hide the torch's light for a few seconds. When I have to return, I'll use illusion magic to make two bats pass where you can see, at that moment you'll have to do it again.”

She nodded.

It was quite awkward having two people clinging to me like koalas, but it was better than having to do two trips. It took me a few seconds to prepare since I had to use more dark mana and ki, then I gave the signal.

Erian turned around and used her body to block the light in our direction.

“Hold tightly, we're going.”

I used Shadow Leap and arrived at the trees, then hid behind a large tree and whispered:

“Get down.”

they let go of me and crouched to the ground.

I cast an anti-sound dark spell on them and said:

“I cast a spell to make you less noisy, it should last a while, but be careful not to get caught.”

They nodded.

I then indicated in front of me.

“That is the north, proceed for a while in that direction and look for other survivors and join them. If you don't find anyone, after a while, go eastward, you'll find a village sooner or later, then ask for directions for Zaven, from there try to reach the eastern continent. Don't go to Cail, it's not safe. Now hurry.”

They nodded again with thankfulness in their eyes, the boy started walking right away but the girl hesitated.

“Thank you, hero.”

She then joined the boy that was waiting for her and disappeared among the trees.

I looked at the fortress, the sun was already rising, only the fortress was blocking the light, but it would soon reach us. I rapidly created two bats with illusion magic.

The light from the torch then disappeared again for a few seconds and I returned to the tower, the ground was starting to be partially illuminated but it was still dark enough.

Erian was looking at me with a complicated expression.

“You really are a fool, those children were in that situation because people like you are in ruling positions.”

“Like me? There is only one me and I wouldn't have let that happen.”

“Everyone says exactly that, but only until they reach power.”

“I'm not everyone, everyone else is too weak for the power they desire and end up becoming pawns of fate, they get chained by madness and become a part of it without even noticing it. I know what I'm doing, I'll be the one controlling madness.”

“Madness, what the hell even is that? Whatever it is you're obsessed with it, you will end up like them like this.”

“Madness is the result of humans' irrational actions, it is something that took over the world since humans started believing to be better than beasts. Your parents taught you about our world's religions, right? Consider it something like the first sin, stemmed from the knowledge and the hubris it brought.

It is the new world order, so if you want the power to fight it, you first have to embrace it and garner the power it gives. That is what I am doing, I'm taking on the world, and sometimes I have to choose the more difficult path and do something wrong, but someone like you cannot understand, you cannot even force you to choose to survive.”

“What do you know about me? I don't know how much you know, but do you think it was easy accepting to die? Probably I could have fled on the way to Hoss if I asked Mark to help, but I choose the difficult path and came here to save the lives of people who needed it. Killing people seems the easy path to me.”

“Do you think I liked killing that guard? I admit I struggle to control myself sometimes and lose myself in madness, but do you think that is easy for me? You heard my story right, I am a victim of madness, like you, but instead of letting myself die I choose to fight with the risk of becoming what I hate. I abandoned my friends, the girl I liked, my feelings, my humanity, all to gain power from madness, it may have been a partially wrong choice but it is my way to fight back. I didn't surrender.”

Erian's stern expression became a little sweeter, she looked me in the eyes.

“Sorry, I don't think you are doing the right thing, but now I can understand at least a bit. But you can't improve the world if first, you don't improve yourself, and I don't regret my choice, this is how I want to die, by helping people, I'm tired of fighting alone against the whole world”

I didn't know how to continue the conversation, I felt something on my face. I touched it and saw water on my hand, was I crying? I touched my face and didn't feel any more water, it was a single tear. I wonder when was the last time I cried? Years probably.

I then saw something from the corner of my eyes, two people were coming in our direction, I couldn't see them well but they were probably soldiers.

'Damn, why did we start discussing right by the side of a damn corpse.'

“Erian come here.”

I took her hand and dragged her to the side of the watchtower, where they could not see us. I took the torch, jumped, and laid it on the floor of the watchtower.

The ground was beginning to be partially lit by the light, but it was still barely enough.

“I'm gonna bring us out of here with Shadow Leap, they mustn't see us walk away from here.”

“Do I have to climb on your back?”

“Yes, hurry.”

She put her hands around my neck, then jumped on my back and put her legs around my waist.

I grabbed her thighs to help her stay up, I knew her strength wasn't the best.

I felt two mounds pressing against my back, I had to focus on the leap so I tried not to think about it.

'Calm down David, you're a professional warrior, it's not like something like this can make you embarrassed or anything.'

It took me a bit more than usual, but I successfully used Shadow Leap and got us away from the tower, at least far enough to not be seen coming from it.

“Now let's walk fast but not too fast, we don't want to catch anyone's attention.”

“Right.”

We walked until the camp, our forces had already taken Twinmouns fort and were probably establishing it as ours and pillaging it. The brigade was there so it was too risky to go there and help people, and I used quite some energy by using leaps with people on me.

But Erian instead said:

“I'm going to the fortress, maybe there's still something I can do. I won't ask you to come too, you must have used quite some energy. Anyway thank you for earlier, I don't know if I could have done it without you.”

“I told you, I did it because I wanted to. Good luck with your work then.”

She started walking towards the fortress. I watched her back for a bit, then went to my tent, I still had my training to do. But when I tried to train, the memory of a certain feeling of something pressing against my back kept distracting me.

--Erian's pov--

As I walked towards the fortress I thought back about what David said. Now that I said everything out loud his reasoning almost made sense, almost. He still wanted to change the world using violence, something that wouldn't work. Even if he managed not to lose himself I couldn't see how violence could change the world for the better. But he seemed to be a little more conscious of what he was trying to do. Maybe he could become a good person, one day. But it was still more probable for him to become a monster, it would really be a pity if it happened.

I looked at the fortress, I knew how the brigade was, inside there was probably even worse than this battlefield.

I thought about David's words and recalled the single tear he cried. I couldn't help but be inspired by his resolve and I started walking faster.

I started thinking about how I could treat the people in the fortress, but for some reason, the feeling of David's strong and firm shoulders on my body kept popping up in my mind, then his voice also started occupying my mind, not his voice, just his emotional but firm tone when he cried.

'Calm down Erian, you're a professional healer, it's not like something like that can make you embarrassed or anything.'