《God-Ish》Chapter 17.5: A Wrathful Lie (Interlude)
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It felt as if it would always remain as a faded and fragmented mess of a memory. I could only make out bits and pieces, but never the entirety in a single session. And oddly enough, the next attempt would be devoid of any and all of the previous result of said session. It was as if the memory was forbidden from ever coming together as a whole—no matter how hard I tried to remember it.
“Eru... I want you to stay here, okay? No matter what you hear, what you see, you need to remain in this spot and stay as quiet as possible. Can you do that for me, dear...?
It was my mother’s voice. She stood over me, holding both sides of my tear-saturated face with her quivering hands. I could remember this; that every part of me wanted to say no and follow her. I didn’t want to be left alone there. Why did I have to stay there by myself in the first place? It was dirty and dark, with bugs crawling all over the place. It didn’t make any sense to me. And most importantly; why was she looking at me like that?
“I promise, everything is going to be fine, okay? You know I would never lie to you. I’ll come back for you as soon as I can, but you need to make sure you stay right here—in this very same spot. Do you understand me?”
Of course, I understood her perfectly fine, but she still had yet to explain a single thing to me. Why did I have to stay there of all places? Why did I have to stay there without her? I didn’t want to do that. All I wanted was for us to go back home together already.
“Eru, I—”
The world wouldn’t allow for her to continue, as something colossal could be heard shifting through the woods outside—the sound reverberating inside the grotto. As the me before my mother had yet to still say a single thing, my mother pulled me toward her and into her arms. I remember thinking that it felt as if she would never let go. At that time, I had hoped she wouldn’t ever let go. Yet, she still did anyways.
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“My love, my absolute everything... Please... Do not leave this spot. I’ll be right back, okay?”
Releasing me from her embrace, she didn’t give the me that she left alone any more time to respond as she swiftly rushed outside the hidden grotto. All I could remember from that point on was that same sound of movement. From there, my memory would waver further—skipping and fast-forwarding. Without allowing me the knowledge of the how or the why.
“ERU!!!”
That voice again. The voice that belonged to my mother. Yet, it hadn’t been filled with that gentle and affectionate tone I had known and loved, not this time. It was instead, a bellow from the depths of her soul. Everything had been put into that scream. A scream that carried my name—and my name alone. Standing in front of me with outstretched arms, something else entirely was directly behind her.
“I’ve finally found you.”
That voice? That one—I hadn’t known. Or did I? For whatever reason, I couldn’t piece a face nor name to it. Its massive stature was a shadowy silhouette, yet that veiled image and voice still struck me like the burning of my skin. I could do nothing but allow for it to deeply fester and spread further. That lingering and ruinous heat would unintentionally be quelled momentarily in response toward what I’d witness thereafter.
“Mama...?”
The area—the air itself—was slashed in front of me, and with it—her. The gut-wrenching thud smothered my eardrums, convincing me that I had instantly become deaf. I couldn’t differentiate between the now silence in the air and the emptiness of my own mind. This further remained true as a round object rolled toward my legs—one resembling a face that once called my name affectionately. And my memory would once again fail me here, as it would divert into an unknown fragment.
Just say these next few words.
It was a voice in my head that filled that emptiness—giving it direction. The ability to react when I couldn’t muster even a single thought, emotion or movement. I had no reason to decline, to not speak the words given to me. Thus, I did exactly that.
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"[Spatial Rift: Void]..."
A silent splatter, the mangling of separate pieces being thrown around within my vision. All it took were those few words. Three words that brought an end to the shadowy silhouette, leaving it in that now scattered form. And yet, I didn’t feel any sort of triumph. I still couldn’t feel a single thing. My empty gaze lingered on the round object near my knees as another set of shadows eclipsed the two of us. I didn’t even need to make an attempt at adjusting my line of sight, as the memory then once again fragmented and wavered. I was now alone. Neither remains in my field of view. Yet, I hadn’t moved at all.
“Eru!! Is that you, Eru?!”
A sudden gush of noise took my eardrums by surprised, all at once, pulling me back into the world. It was from that point on that I could truly hear and feel once again. As that voice came closer, they had continued to call out my name. It was my grandfather. He had always seemed like an immovable tree—with a face to match—but here, he seemed frightened and panicked. It had been a first. He fell to his knees in front of me, and now held me in his arms. It had reminded me of the way mother did earlier.
“Thank the Goddess, you’re all right... I thought I had lost you too...”
A tightened grip over me, I struggled to look upward. My eyes met the side of his head, and I could see it covered in a dark red. Had he been hurt somehow? I tried to say something, though, nothing would escape my mouth. Releasing me from his embrace, he looked over my body—seemingly for any injuries.
“You’re not hurt, are ya, Eru?! Just let me know if you hurt anywhere...”
I began making an attempt toward speaking, mouthing words as grandfather’s worries only increased even more. He frantically began trying to decipher what I was trying to say to him.
“Is it your arm?! Does your arm hurt?! Your leg?!”
It hadn’t been either. I could recall not being in any pain at that moment. But instead, having him hold me earlier made me remember something else. A promise given to me right before I was held in a similar way. I only had one question that I wanted an answer for at that moment. I tightened my hands into fists, digging my small nails into my palm as much as the strength of a child could. With that iota of pain and everything I could muster—I asked my question.
“Where is mama...?”
“...Eru, she...”
Grandfather’s expression once again became one I had never seen before. Tears formed around his eyes, as he quietly then embraced me once more without ever answering my question. He held me in a silent, weeping sorrow—yet I couldn’t mirror that emotion. I couldn’t feel any semblance of sadness for whatever reason. More so, I felt an irrational anger toward the promise that remained unfulfilled. Toward the lie from the one in whom I had believed in. I couldn’t understand why that had been the only emotion to come out. But as it did, I could feel a searing mark come over my chest and with it, a voice entered my mind as my memory would then finally fade out completely—like always.
Unification of "Crown of the Second Circle, Kagmig" successful. You are now the [Bearer of the 2nd Deadly Sin] - Wrath.
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