A wise philosopher once said that we make our world, that each person live and see the world in a different way. Sometimes it could be something so small as liking or disliking a pillow others it can be something so great that you wonder if those two person have lived the same thing.

After what I passed through I can say that I understand this statement. On some foundamental level we live and habitate different realities and we don't notice only because the difference are so small.

I remember that night, it was around 4pm, the entire house laid dead quiet and everything was dark as the darkest ink, except for my room, illuminated by the blue light of monitor.

Sometimes I really wonder how life was before modernity and how life would be. The lives of centuries past now would seem of the most boredom, dullness and monotony, without our all of our stimuli. Both the opposite is also true, who knows what great stimuli we will invent to make life today seem so boring and dull!

The wisest of you will have from those few paragraphs already understood my situation. But for reasons that I hope you will understand I will prefer not stating it directly but letting the reader understand by suggestions and allusions what I am talking about.

I had forgoten how a clean and ordinate mind was, so many things had entered my mind that it was more like an uncordinated chaos than anything else. I sting badly, very badly, of the most ignobile of stings, the ones that you would never hope of catching in public, or for that matter, in many private occasions.

"And another day is gonne" my eyes were that of grave digger, dark,cold, unkind with a touch of spite and hostility toward reality that few people would understand.

"And another day will come" I went under warm sleeves without washing myself. The next day, after school, I went to a party.

Saying that I was hostile will be wrong, I was not hostile, hostility implies some kind of energy and activity. No, I was of the most passive and nice people who you will ever encounter. Always avoiding conflict and never saying a rude word. Some guys were playing a fighting game and as I glance at the screen, memories, many memories came back to me. I barely managed to contain myself, all those costumes...all those things... another group of guys was chilling on a sofa watching some animes. I joined them.

You see if you have never suffered from my condition or similar ones it would be very hard to understand what was going on in my mind. When you reach a certain level reality itself becomes distorted, you make it distorted, and you allow the most absurd and idiotic of scenarious and explanations to meet that distortion. Nothing is an exception to this.

But until that time I though that I was "normal" that nothing was wrong with me. Maybe I was normal, but that doesn’t mean that something was not wrong with me.

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