Chapter Eighteen

When the dream ends

The events of the morning after the night before weren't extraordinary, but they were less than usual. Warren lay in, having turned off his alarm before they got into bed. After the day they'd had, he couldn't imagine getting up early and abandoning Karou to shut himself away in his office. Although after they'd kissed, they'd simply gone to bed as usual and even rolled away from each other in their sleep, they woke up in each other's arms. Something about the world seemed right to him as his eyes fluttered open to be met with her sleeping face. Karou had curled herself into his chest as they lay on their sides. She grumbled when she felt Warren reposition his arms around her body as he woke up.

"Good morning." He muttered sleepily into her hair; the front of his face nestled against the top of her head. To his morning greeting, she just moaned in response and nuzzled into his chest some more, very unwilling to wake up yet. Warren brushed Karou's hair back from her face so that he could look at her better. She looked beautiful and peaceful, but he was feeling mischievous and eager to get up and out of bed to spend some quality time together after the scare of Cambria's imminent retrieval of Karou. He was uncharacteristically needy in how badly he wanted her undivided attention. "I'm going to flick your nose if you don't wake up." He teased as he traced his fingers about her face to annoy her until she woke up.

"Why are you so mean to me?" Karou whined and finally opened her sleepy and thirsty eyes.

"Ah-ha, and she speaks," Warren said, but just as she was about to open her lips to say something else, he stopped her - Now shush and let me kiss you.

You've woken up in an awfully good mood. Karou thought back. Although he had ambushed her, she enjoyed every second of it. Why are you so keen to kiss me all of a sudden?

Mmm, you should savour it. Speaking of savouring things, you smell- Warren's lips wandered down over her jaw and onto her neck. –Delicious, and you know why I'm kissing you. You've wanted to talk about it for days.

What Warren was doing felt good; it was a wonderful way to be woken up, but she really did want to talk about it, and this was as willing as he had been to, so she wasn't going to miss the opportunity. Do you think we could talk about it after you've bitten me? Karou asked. She could feel that his fangs were already bare and grazing her neck.

I don't mind telling you right now... Warren thought, rolling to prop himself over her to look directly at her face.

First, can you tell me why you're in such a good mood so that I know how serious to take whatever it is you're going to say? Karou smiled up at him and brushed his messy bed hair back off of his forehead.

You only take me seriously when I'm in a certain mood? Warren pulled a face of curiosity that made Karou giggle. As concerning to me as that is... because I never intentionally lie to you... I'm in a good mood because I might've dreamed about you leaving but woke up to find that you're still right here.

I'm not going anywhere just yet. Karou grinned, and Warren did too.

Good, because I-... Warren started but hesitated to finish. He looked at Karou, knowing exactly what he wanted to tell her but somehow, he couldn't even bring himself to think it, never mind say it. He'd thought that perhaps keeping it in his mind would have been easier, but somehow as she laid there looking up at him, it wasn't. I-... I think we should have breakfast. Warren managed, but it wasn't at all what he'd wanted to tell her. He sighed, defeated, and rested his head on Karou's shoulder, hoping she could in some way understand why it was so hard for him.

For now, she could be patient because at least he was trying. She kissed his temple and curled her arms around him a little tighter. Can't we just stay here a little longer? Breakfast can wait. I'm more thirsty than hungry. Karou nuzzled into his neck, suggesting she wanted to carry on - he'd been moments from biting her, she could tell. But now, she wanted to go first. Warren didn't mind seeing that it meant that he could take a little more from her if she'd just fed. Although usually, he was too impatient to go last and was notorious for instigating feeding in the first place.

What are you waiting for? Warren begged the question to motivate Karou to bite him. His neck was there, ready and waiting. Spurred on by his impatience Karou didn't waste any time finding a willing vein. It was everything it'd always been, and as it was meant to be - a release that they both enjoyed.

Warren cradled Karou's head in his hand and calmly rested his cheek to hers as she fed. Karou reciprocated by caressing the bare skin of his shoulders and back. For a fledgeling vampire, she was so gentle with him, she'd gotten the hang of feeding so quickly, and it made the act so much easier for him to relish in.

When it came to an end, she sighed contently and rested her head back into Warren's hand. Her bright gun-metal blue eyes flickered open to find Warren's face lingered only inches from hers. He took a few moments to consider her face before her eyes met his when she unleashed a happy toothy grin on him. The smile on her face suited her delicate facial features so well as if she could look more ethereal. I'm definitely going to miss you.

Maybe... I don't have to go to Enoch? Karou thought back to him as she reached to comb his hair back from his face. When he didn't have it styled, she liked how it would flop forward over his forehead.

You'd want to stay here? The idea that the Compound was a more attractive prospect than the safe haven of the celestial city was baffling to him. Her lifestyle options in the Compound were minimal. She'd have freedom in Enoch and the opportunity to live a relatively normal life, save for how extravagant living in a palace would be. He thought that after everything she had gone through, her childhood, the traumas she'd experienced during her time with him, she deserved to go to Enoch and live an easier life.

Here, wherever, it doesn't matter. Just wherever you are. Karou lifted one shoulder in a lazy shrug. You always said the Compound wasn't going to be your permanent home. When you leave, couldn't I come with you?

I'd take you anywhere, but my lifestyle isn't exactly conducive to your happiness, as we've witnessed time and time again. I might currently have two day jobs with the Compound and REDford to run, but I can't see my career-changing to something lighter on the workload front anytime soon. I've just undertaken a new project. I'll never be able to give you the attention you need, Karou. There's never going to be freedom for you anywhere I go, like in a mythical city.

It's not that I don't want to go to Enoch, I understand all the perks, but I'll miss you. We won't be able to do this anymore. Karou appreciated how honest Warren had been. Although it had been the first time he'd adequately explained to her why he was so adamant she leave, for a long time, she'd struggled to believe that it was for any other reason than he wanted to be rid of her. But now, she couldn't deny that what he'd thought was true - sometimes she pined for his attention, but he was just too busy to entertain her.

You've got a lot of life ahead of you, Karou. You'll find someone else to do this with, someone permanent. But don't go rushing into a relationship. You're young; give yourself a chance to have some fun.

I don't want to sleep around Warren. Karou swatted at his upper arm and giggled.

You don't have to jump into bed with someone to have a good time. There are a lot of other ways to have fun. All I meant was when you find the right person; you might find that what you've experienced with me has been utterly below par.

You're even thinking in lies now. Surely, you don't think so little of yourself? She looked sad when his thought entered her head and frowned to show it. It was hurtful to her that he'd even considered that he'd given her anything other than pure pleasure. Pleasure that she'd never thought she could obtain. I'm not planning on comparing you to anyone else. Have you compared me to all the other women you've been with?

My male ego would undoubtedly allow me to convince myself that I'm the best you'll ever have, but it's most likely not true... and of course I have, it would definitely be a lie to deny that. Warren rolled his thirsty black eyes at her.

Do I even want to know your verdict?

I'm damned if I tell you and damned if I don't. You either won't believe me, or you'll think that keeping it to myself means I've found you disappointing in some way.

Oh my! Is the Lawyer dodging my question? Karou sarcastically raised her brows in an overly dramatic expression of shock.

It's for your own good. Warren nodded, but the look she gave him told him she wasn't going to let the topic drop somehow, and after a minute of silently considering her expression, he caved. You're manipulative. Do you know that?

Karou merely battered her eyelashes at him and smiled sweetly. I've learned from the best... and It's for your own good. She thought, mimicking his point.

So, you're pleased with yourself for having drawn the words, "Most, if not all, of my past experiences having paled in comparison to how you've made me feel." from me?

Yes, it pleases me a great deal. Karou admitted as she blushed brightly. But you're right, I'm not sure I can believe you, so maybe we should check just to make sure you're not fabricating the truth? Surprisingly brazen as she sometimes was, one of her hands wandered down Warren's chest, abdomen and beyond to grab hold of him outside of his pyjama pants.

He was obviously surprised by how she touched him; his brows shot up his forehead. You make out you're so innocent! Who taught you how to be so beguiling?

Biting onto her lower lip, she moved her hand over him in such a way that she hoped would excite him. It's just my natural charm...

Karou flopped back into the sheets breathless despite not needing air; it was a reflex that came with excitement and was a hard habit to shake simply because she'd been mortal for so long. Warren was the same to some extent and sighed as he relaxed back against the bed linen. They were both utterly satisfied, and it showed in the looks on their faces. Karou's body ached all over from the stimulation, but in a good way, and Warren was pleasantly surprised by how much stamina he'd been able to maintain, having fed from Karou. It meant he could please her and himself without tiring.

Now he stared off into space but mainly at the ceiling as he came around from the lusty blur. No, it had been more than that; more than sex, more than feeding, more than even nesting behaviour. With Karou, it felt like so much more. He glanced over at her and found her smiling softly, content and with her eyes closed to the world.

"Are you alright?" He asked; the croak in his voice caused him to clear his throat; they hadn't spoken to each other all day. Instead, they'd been inside each other's heads, thinking back and forth. It was a perk that uniquely bonded them. Neither of them had any idea how close they'd genuinely become, and neither knew how strong their bond was either, but it was much stronger than most Sires and fledgelings.

Karou's blue eyes flickered open to find Warren's, and for a moment, she just smiled. There was no point being shy about the fact that she was naked, so she didn't reach for the sheets to cover herself; she just sat up, stretched, and turned to face him. "I don't think I've ever felt better. How about you?" Sliding closer, she combed back the hair from his forehead because it had stuck to the glossy sheen that coated his skin. She, too, was glistening, but it complimented the golden undertones of her pale complexion.

For a little while, Warren just stared at her. There, she sat cross-legged in front of him with her arms reaching down her front to grasp both her ankles; she looked like an adorable and happy little bird. Her hair was tussled and hung down over one shoulder. Her wings sat up behind her, perky and indicative of her good mood. Curiously, she tipped her head sideways when he did not answer her straight away.

"I'm good." Was all he could manage. He had no idea how to sum up how he felt in words.

"Are you sure? You seem a little 'out of it'?" Karou asked, boldly mounting his hips again and focused entirely on his face. She knew he wasn't skilled at evaluating how he felt, but she thought he would've said a little more than he offered.

"I just need some time to come around. I… feel… drained and alive all at the same time. I-... I've never done that before; I mean whatever that was..."

"That makes two of us then." She felt exactly the same. Her eyes glanced to the digital clock that sat on his nightstand just to their left, and her eyes widened. "Well, whatever that was, we've been doing it for nearly five hours."

"What!?" This got his attention. He propped himself up on his elbows and glanced back over his shoulder to his alarm clock to confirm that she was right. They had been screwing around in bed all day; it was nearly four-thirty. But he didn't mind; it wasn't time wasted because he hadn't planned on working anyway, but he was shocked that he had maintained arousal for at least four hours of that time.

"Did it go fast for you?" Karou asked curiously, but the expression in her eyes had grown coy again.

When he looked back at her face, the way she was looking at him was the first thing he noticed; it made him swallow hard. "No. I'm just surprised I lasted that long..."

"You didn't really last that long. You just... kept going maybe four or five times..." She nibbled her lip as she explained just how much she'd noticed about how he'd experienced what they'd just done. "I, however, lost count of how many times I-..."

"I think I get where you're going." Warren interrupted her and smirked as she blushed.

What she said next was a blatant ambush. She'd lured him into a conversation that held a sexual tone, not an emotional one in the hopes of getting an off the cut, but honest answer. "Warren, do you love me?" He'd kissed her over and over again amongst all the other things, but he'd promised that he wouldn't kiss her if he didn't. After what had just happened, she needed to know.

"Karou... I-"

"Just say yes or no, and we don't have to talk about it ever again."

"Depending on what I say, you're going to view today differently."

"It would just put some context to it, that's all." Karou paused. Reading the situation, she surmised: "But the way you're acting, I think I know the answer already." Now she leaned down, pressed her lips to his cheek, just a peck and shrugged off how her realisation had made her feel - a black hole had formed in the centre of her chest and sucked away all the happiness she'd been basking in. "A while back, you mentioned breakfast..." Climbing off of him and the bed, Karou began to wander towards the door and onward towards the bathroom. "I'm going to shower first."

Warren had let it happen again. Now their day in bed together had been tarnished and diminished by her assumption that no, he didn't love her. Similar to the feeling she experienced, he felt empty and inadequate too, and all the while she was in the shower, he lay there staring at the ceiling hating himself. You're hurting her again...

Under the stream of warm water, Karou washed quickly, trying not to give herself too much time to think. Mulling things over only prolonged the sting but try as she might, it wasn't working. When she came out of the bathroom wrapped in her towel, she noticed Warren was still sprawled out in bed, looking lifeless. She figured maybe he didn't want anything to eat, and she didn't want to force him to spend more time with her, so she went about her business and got herself dressed for what remained of the day. Loose-fitting loungewear seemed appropriate, so she dressed in leggings and a too-big style t-shirt. It was so baggy about the waist that she tied a knot in the fabric over one hip.

In the kitchen, she made coffee and sat at the island alone. When she heard the shower turn back on, she waited patiently to see if Warren would join her but eventually grew bored and slipped down off of the barstool seat and wandered towards the fridge.

Unbeknownst to Karou, Warren entered the kitchen after his shower and saw she'd just turned on the stove. She looked as if she were about to start cooking something with a frying pan in her hand. "Haven't I told you to stay away from the stove?" He asked, and within moments, he moved over the tiles and grabbed the pan from her hand. Unfortunately, he forgot himself, and instinctively, his fingers reached out towards the blue flame in his slight panic - it flickered and eventually went out without him even having to turn off the stove.

Karou noticed how peculiar it seemed but what drew the majority of her attention was his annoyance. It did something to his aura that made the air around him stiff. She swallowed hard and backed away from him. "Are you angry at me?"

"No, I just don't want you to burn yourself or the kitchen down."

"Warren, I wasn't going to say anything, but I can't not..." Karou started and rearranged her stance to appear more confident. "It makes no sense to me that you're so much more open with me, yet you still can't say it! You let your wall down. You kiss me. You've even started using your gift around me lately... Like just now." She gestured towards the stove; she knew he'd used aero-kinesis to suffocate the flame. "And I can't help but feel that we're running out of time."

Warren stared straight ahead; he couldn't even look at her. He fully understood why she was annoyed with him, and she had every right to be but the end was so near; what there any point in professing his love now? He thought not. "Some things are better left unsaid."

"You'd prefer it that way? There's never going to be something I don't know about you, is there? Now, I'm not allowed to know if you love me or not?" She asked, exasperated at how calm he managed to remain.

"Sometimes, I feel like you know me better than I know myself. You understand how I feel before I do, you've said it before I'm not very adept at understanding my own emotions..."

"So what? I'm just good at reading people. It doesn't mean that I don't need you to say it."

"But you're not always right. Besides, it's just words."

"When was I wrong?"

"Earlier. You assumed that from my answer, or rather the lack of one, that I meant no." When he'd finished explaining, he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Would you like me to cook for you?"

Karou knew she had to believe what he'd said, but it was hard. He could've been lying to her to make her feel better - she really hoped not, but it was too little too late. Now, it lacked meaning and did nothing to lift her mood. "You don't have to cook if you're not going to eat too." Karou seemed to make her lack of enthusiasm clear when she turned and wandered out of the kitchen with her coffee mug grasped between both her hands. Finding solace in her corner of the couch, she tucked herself away and turned on the TV leaving Warren to stand redundant and alone in the kitchen with a pan in his hand.

With the mood of the morning wholly shattered, Warren decided that he might as well work. He hadn't long gotten dressed but found his way back to his bedroom and changed into more work-appropriate attire before shutting himself in his office.

Karou kept her eyes fixed on the TV, although she could sense, hear, and smell Warren making his way around the unit until the office door closed behind him. This time Karou's sulking wasn't out of stubbornness, but because she felt that no matter what she gave and no matter how far his façade fell, he'd still never completely admit his feelings. A part of her was convinced that he never would, and that was for one of two reasons; he didn't want to say it because then he'd have to commit himself to her, or it was just because he knew she was going to leave eventually. Honestly, she wasn't even sure she wanted to go to Enoch anymore. She was tired of her life being chapters of goodbyes. It felt like fate constantly required her to uproot and walk blindly into a new start and new place. She didn't know all that much about Enoch... Maybe her life wouldn't be any better there than at the Compound with Warren?

Karou found herself standing before Warren's office door with her forehead rested against its solid surface at around ten forty-five. She was deciding whether to go in or not. He never locked the door these days, so she turned the handle and stepped inside without knocking or introducing herself upon her entry. When she came to be stood before his desk, he glanced up at her from his laptop screen and stopped typing.

"Are you coming to bed?" Karou asked quietly.

"No, you go ahead. I've got a lot to catch up on." Leaning back into his office chair, he sighed. The way she made herself appear so sweet when she asked him to do something always made it harder to say no to her.

"I'd really like you to come to bed with me, though."

"Wasn't this morning enough?" Warren's brows rose. He wasn't expecting her to make any further arguments.

"I mean just to sleep..." Karou pulled a face; she did not like how what he said insinuated that she only wanted him for sex.

"Right, I shouldn't have assumed you meant anything else..." Was all he offered by way of an apology.

Karou had been bold enough to enter his office and confront him, so when she noticed how he'd sat back from his desk to talk to her, she seized a unique opportunity. Using one of the skills her vampiricy had granted her, she moved at speed around his desk and slipped her legs through the opening of his office chairs armrests and mounted his lap. "I'm sorry I sulked earlier and ruined our morning together." She muttered as she laid her head down onto his shoulder, and with her wings held close to her back, she cocooned herself against his chest.

Although he was surprised by how confidently she moved towards him only to make herself so small in his lap, his hands found her waist as if they belonged there. Whenever she ran to him searching for safety and security, the only reaction that felt natural was to welcome her into his arms. He'd do anything in his power to protect her, that much he was sure of, even if it was from himself. "I know it's a problem that I don't always say the things you want me to."

"I only ever want you to be honest, Warren." When she said his name, the only name she'd ever known him by, a random thought came to mind. "Uhm… Why don't you go by your real name?"

"You mean my first name?"

"Mhmm. You wrote your full name on the family tree you gave to me for Christmas, and some of the people in Blue Ash still called you by it. Charles Warren Howard."

"I never actually went by Charles either, just Charlie. Until around three or four years after I was sired when I fledged, I was still known as Charlie. Once I fledged, I became a person again, but for a long time, I'd been lost. So, I made the choice that Charlie had died, and I needed to be someone else to be able to move on from my humanity and cope with what it meant to embrace my vampiricy. I didn't take to vampirism like you have." Warren abandoned any thoughts of work and slouched down into his office chair, and as it rocked back, he held Karou to his chest a little tighter. "I've been able to shelter you from how violent fledging can be because we're here and alone. It wasn't like that for me all those years ago. Even nowadays, the Davikov are still rather medieval in their views. What they see as civilised heavily contrasts what I do. That's why I started REDford. How they teach fledgelings to feed and restrain themselves from draining their blood host is violent and barbaric; they still use conscious, terrified mortals. They just throw them into the lion's den. As a mortal, I enjoyed game shooting but the violence I was made to enact on other people and how much I enjoyed it in my moments of blood lust disturbed me. My mind... wasn't a good place for me to be left alone in, and seeing as I was locked in a small cell in The Oval for those three or four years, you could say that I went more than a little mad. Magnus saved me."

"Sometimes, the things we have to do to survive aren't pretty." Karou listened to his story with an open mind as always; she sought for his gaze, hoping to comfort him.

"You're far too forgiving of my flaws." When their eyes met, his hand reached to cup her left cheek.

"Your past isn't a flaw. Your past isn't something I have to forgive, either. Sure, sometimes I have to tolerate who it's made you, but that's the same for you, with me, I'll bet." Karou smiled to reassure him that she thought no less of him because of what he'd told her.

"Hmm, sometimes." He said and smiled his signature lopsided smirk.

"Do you not like being called Charles then?"

"I'd rather you didn't, but I don't hate it. I just hear my father's voice in my head whenever anyone calls me Charles and that I don't enjoy." Warren admitted, and Karou just nodded with that she knew that it was best she dropped the subject out of respect. She knew he had issues with his father from previous conversations they'd had when she first arrived. Truth be told, she didn't much enjoy talking about hers either, so they were in mutual agreement on that.

"I couldn't imagine calling you anything other than Warren anyway. It'd be weird." Karou said as she toyed with his tie. She gave it a little tug and looked at him from under her lashes. "Are you sure I can't persuade you to come to bed?"

"I do not doubt that you could very easily coerce me away from my work," Warren said, watching her. With only a few inches between their bodies, Warren found it challenging to keep unsavoury imaginings from floating through his conscious thoughts. Still, in truth, he couldn't manage any more physical or sexual exertion that day.

"I feel like there is a 'but' at the end of that statement."

"I've started work that I have to finish before I can come to join you," Warren confirmed her fear. "I'll be as quick as I can."

Karou never had a hard time taking his small promises at face value. It was just his bigger ones he never seemed to keep. With his small promise made, Karou climbed off his lap and wandered towards his bedroom instead. For a while, she stared at the ceiling hugging his pillow to her chest, and eventually dropped off to sleep, curled up on her side, still with Warren's pillow for comfort. With his scent in her nose, she started to dream, and at first, it was pleasant, but that was usually how they began. Tricking her into a false sense of security to wander further into dreamland willingly and then the trap would snap closed around her moments later, and her gift granted her a glimpse at her future.

(Dream sequence)

All around, the concrete walls that'd once given her security started to crack and crumble. There was no solace to be found in having escaped the collapsing building; outside, the night sky lit up in terror. Loud bangs of bombs and gunfire echoed through the air. The landscape of trees beyond the perimeter wall lit up the sky red; they were ablaze. An apocalypse had descended on the Compound, and both battle cries and screams of the wounded assaulted her ears; a frightening, deafening cacophony of horror. While her imagination was vivid, she thought that if real cries of pain were anything like that in reality, she was confident that she'd never get them out of her head. Hearing such things was enough to drive anyone insane.

However, a slight reprieve came from amongst the smoke and flames; she saw Warren. Stood somewhere she'd seen him before by the crates in the depot yard of the west wall's gates, he looked flustered and combed his bangs back from his face as though he was sweating. Had he been involved in the warfare? Most likely, his office clothes weren't pristine anymore. From how he was dressed, sleeves rolled to his elbows, tieless and buttoned-down, the carnage had interrupted his evening relaxation.

"Go now. It's not safe." He yelled desperately over the noise.

"Go where?" Karou heard herself asking.

"Take her now," Warren demanded, but this time looked past Karou. That was when she turned around to see who he was talking to, but there wasn't anyone there.

In looking around, her eyes found a writhing pool of black snakes at her feet. They were getting closer and closer, and their black scales shone iridescent hues of blue, green and purple. They looked almost pretty like thick oily ink, but the reptiles didn't entice Karou. She knew very well who they were there to represent. Fixed to the ground beneath her feet, she couldn't escape as the snakes multiplied and coiled around her legs. They were wrapping her from her feet upward, and soon she was in up to her waist in serpents. As if that wasn't harrowing enough, suddenly, from behind, an earth-shattering explosion forced air to hurtle past her, stinging her skin and causing her hair to fly forward past her cheeks.

When it happened, she'd been looking at Warren. He reached out his hands for her, and then just as suddenly, the air around them was still. Her ears were ringing, and golden blood trickled down her face; her eardrums had burst from the blast. A blurry moment passed, and he was closer and trying to comfort her, but she couldn't hear a thing he said. Still, she saw his lips moving. Finally, they mouthed the three words she'd so desperately wanted to hear him say, but fate had taken what felt like her only chance in their last few moments together.

Swallowed by darkness, rendered deaf and blind, she had no idea where she was.

Moments later, harsh light filled her eyes, and she winced away. Blinking into the light as it dulled, fresh, hot tears blurred her vision into muddled hues of colour. A warm breeze blew over her face and ruffled her feathers. Her ears had stopped ringing, and there was no longer the smell of smoke in the air. When her vision cleared, she was taken aback by a magnificent aerial view of an exotic desert landscape. A sandstone city sat amidst the arid dustpan of the Arabian terrain that spread out for miles into the distance. On the horizon, she could see the coast and the glistening turquoise sea. Even more, breathe taking, the crowning jewel of the landscape was the palace. It was carved into and towered above a great hill that fell away to a cliff over the ocean. The blazing sunlight reflected off the white stone, twinkling an array of iridescent colours. Out of her peripherals, she saw how the same sunlight glittered over the surface of her blue wings. Her wings! She was flying! Awe and terror hit her simultaneously, and shock stole her concentration. The combination of emotion and distraction sent her hurtling towards the ground.