Chapter Seventeen

Love away the pain

"What?" Warren questioned, even though he completely understood what she'd said.

"When you grabbed me and pushed me... I think... I think you broke my wing. Ah, It hurts."

"Oh fuck." He exclaimed semi calmly and reached into his jeans pocket to grab his cell phone.

"Who are you calling?"

"The clinic." Warren had already dialled and held the device to his ear. "Just don't move, for now, okay?" With the phone pressed to his ear by his shoulder, he held onto Karou's arms, and in return, she held onto him by grasping at his upper arms to support herself. The phone conversation wasn't lengthy; Warren explained Karou's injury, and presumably, whoever Warren had spoken to had agreed to attend the unit to see the casualty.

Once Warren had put his phone away, she asked, "How are you going to explain how this happened?"

"If they ask, I'll tell him the truth. It doesn't matter how it looks on my part as long as they can help you, Karou. I'm-"

"I did hear everything you said, by the way."

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Warren said sincerely; he'd been about to before she interrupted him.

"I don't think I've ever heard you apologise for something before." Karou grinned, which perhaps turned into a coy expression in how she looked up at him through her lashes.

"Hmm, I'm not very good at apologies, but while I'm on a roll, I'm sorry I shouted at you too..." Warren flashed one of the lop-sided smiles Karou loved so much.

"But when you were ranting about how you feel, you were telling the truth, right?"

Warren didn't answer with words, but he did respond with his mouth. Leaning a little closer while being careful to not push her back into the bookcase again, he lifted her chin with one finger and pressed his lips to hers. It lingered, but he didn't presume to open her lips to kiss her deeply. He'd promised he wouldn't kiss her, and he assumed she hadn't wanted him to if he didn't love her. Before Karou could return the gesture, there was a knock on the door; the doctor had arrived.

Karou sat awkwardly on the couch with her left wing all braced up. She was uncomfortable but fortunately no longer in any pain because she'd been given medication. Warren talked with the physician at the unit's door and took all the details on Karou's care regime, though there was no guarantee that Karou's wing would heal correctly. The doctor wasn't confident in his bone setting skills in wings; they weren't exactly his speciality. Warren had broached the subject of Enoch to Karou, stating that perhaps if she went now, she could see a celestial medical professional, but she'd flat out refused. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving just now, given that she had a vital and sensitive topic of conversation to go over with Warren, as well as the idea of sitting on his jet for hours with a broken wing making her feel sick to the stomach. Karou was conflicted emotionally. She had every right to be angry at Warren, but she couldn't muster the strength to be anything other than grumpy because she was uncomfortable. With a pout on her lips and a heavy brow, she sat scowling at the floor. Only when she smelled what Warren was making in the kitchen did her mood lift a little. It was hot chocolate. He arrived back in the lounge holding two large mugs and an apologetic half-smile. Staying annoyed at him was difficult when he'd already said sorry. It was something he rarely did, and his subsequent efforts to butter her up with treats worked. The rest of the night was spent snuggled up in the nest of blankets and pillows Warren made on the couch. Karou lay on her side, on her 'good wing', snuggled into his chest whilst they watched an omnibus of corny 80's comedies.

Between the punchy one-liner's, Karou's thoughts were occupied with more serious matters; she was mulling over the events of the last forty-eight hours. Now she thought she understood why Warren had been so desperate to keep her close last night, but ultimately why he wouldn't go any further than feeding too. He knew he'd to let her go eventually, but she still felt conflicted about leaving him, especially since Magnus had mentioned in Blue Ash that there might be an option to stay. But would living her life predominately as a vampire be possible if now she wanted to avoid the Davikov because of Roman? Maybe Warren was right; perhaps she'd be safer in Enoch with celestials. It was hard to choose to fling herself into something utterly alien versus sticking with what she already knew, though, in that she'd have to be brave. But also, maybe she shouldn't be letting Roman ruin her chance to remain with Warren? It was difficult to avoid the Lord of a coven, though. It would've been easy to feel hopeless in the face of it, but Karou's character was much too robust for that. No, she felt hopeful; at least she had options. For now, she was in the right place, regardless of her broken wing.

With the volume on low, Warren snoozed with Karou in his arms. Due to her thinking, she was now completely distracted from the TV and lay watching Warren sleep; she kept imagining him saying those three words to her. He'd admitted he loved her, but he hadn't actually said it in so many words. She was anxious to push the subject and bring it up again. She just wanted to hear him say it; only then could it be real to her. Oh, but he had kissed her, and she'd wanted more, but it hadn't been the right time. It was frustrating! Now she gnawed at her bottom lip as her eyes homed in on his. Tentatively she reached out and brushed her fingertips over the side of his face until they ran over the soft texture of his lips. In reaction, he grumbled and gnawed at his own lips as if scratching an itch she'd created.

You're thinking very loudly... Warren thought, alerting her to her busy mind. It was true that her brain was buzzing with over-activity.

Sorry, am I keeping you awake?

No, I'm not really sleeping. When Warren finally opened his eyes, he looked down at her but wasn't surprised to find that she was blushing. "Something on your mind?"

"Just thinking about the argument we had and things that we said." Karou opened. The way Warren held his brows over his eyes made her sigh. "But you're looking at me like you don't want to talk about that right now."

"Hmm, no. Not tonight. Can't we just lie here and..." Warren didn't finish his sentence; he just shrugged.

"And be?"

"Yes, something like that."

Karou had been confined for almost a week, during which her wing started to heal. It was healing quickly, so the physician informed her on his daily visits, but just as he’d suspected, his skills had fallen a little short. Still, the fracture had fused closed, albeit untidily. It meant that the brace could be taken off, and now she would just have to be careful. Karou saw the doctor out of the unit and thanked him for his time.

Finally, she had her brace off and felt free again! Freedom had been elusive for the last week or so in more than one way. First, her wing was bound, and second, Warren requested that she remain within the unit. She suspected it was to keep her out of harm’s way but also speculated it was so that her friends didn’t ask any intrusive questions about how she came by her injury. Admittedly the circumstances didn’t look favourably on Warren. What was she supposed to say? ‘Oh, my Sire flung me into a bookcase and broke my wing?’ It truly made him out to be some kind of monster and wouldn’t have gone down well with her friends; they already disliked him a great deal and let her know it regularly. They’d been trying to make room for her in other units for months now, but they’d all but given up any attempts. Karou always had some excuse to remain living with Warren. ‘I’ll find it too crowded living with six other people.’ Or ‘I get Warren’s unit to myself most days because he works.’; were go-to excuses. She wasn’t exactly lying, but her motives for not leaving hadn’t been anywhere near what her reason suggested. She’d stayed because she hoped that one day Warren would completely let her in, and she could live with the kind, compassionate and affectionate man that she got to see briefly.

That man had now been put back behind the ice wall. Warren was working and hidden away in his office. He tied himself to his duties and schedule for ten hours of the day and wouldn’t deviate unless it was essential.

At the kitchen island, Karou stood staring into nowhere, drinking a mug of hot coffee. The silence in the unit was not peaceful; it was just dull. She’d read everything that held any interest to her over the last few days; in fact, she was overdue renewing the books she’d borrowed from the Compounds library. Washing up her mug, she toyed with the idea of heading out to the library to do just that, or even the tavern to see who she could find to spend some time with, but the truth was that even though she’d been housebound for a week, she didn’t want to leave just yet. The only person she wanted to see was Warren. To show him how her wing had healed and to share the good news she’d received from the doctor. To prove that he didn’t have to walk on eggshells around her anymore and be so gentle when touching her that she could barely feel him. Regrettably, they still hadn’t had ‘the talk’.

While she was healing, he’d refused to feed from her, which was clearly having a negative effect on him. Some research had informed her that her celestial and nephilim blood was highly addictive to sanguine vampire’s and such an addiction had consumed Warren by now. As wrong as Karou knew it was, that knowledge hadn’t provided her with any motive to ban him from her neck. Just as the addiction had consumed Warren, Karou was equally attached to the closeness she felt during the times he fed; she was convinced she couldn’t live without it either.

Now that her wing was better, she hoped he’d cave and bite her sooner rather than later. If for no other reason, she was itching to touch him. Consequently, that urge brought her face to face with his office door. She loitered, deciding whether or not to knock or just enter.

“Warren?” Karou plucked up the courage to knock on the door before she pushed it open a little to peep inside. She found him exactly where she thought he’d be; sat at his desk. His fingers were busily tapping away at the keyboard of his laptop as it lit up his face in pale blue light. The black pits that were his thirsty eyes swallowed the blue glow from his laptop screen.

“I heard the doctor leave. Everything okay?”

“I didn’t know whether you’d be mad if I interrupted you at work.” Karou rounded the door and closed it behind her with her wings and back lightly pressed against it. “I still don’t get how you manage to work so hard and remain so committed to your job when you work from home...”

“I’m successful because I’m exceptionally good at compartmentalising my life. I don’t see this room as part of my home. It’s my place of work, and when I’m in it, I’m left with no other choice than to work.” Warren lounged back in his high-backed, leather office chair and smiled over at her in the way she liked best.

How does he manage to sound enticing even when he’s talking like that? Karou thought privately. “Uh-...” She stuttered, not really knowing what to say next because she’d entered without a plan.

“Hmm, now then… Something from home is in my office. It’s conflicting with my work environment.”

“Should I go? You are mad, aren’t you?” Karou’s hand reached for the door handle to her side. Sometimes it was impossible to read his mood, especially when all expression in his eyes was vacant due to his thirst.

“I’m not mad,” Warren smirked. “Just distracted.”

The atmosphere had changed in a second, and Karou couldn’t actually tell where on her body his eyes were focused, but she could feel his gaze burrowing into her skin; it made her feel hot. Maybe she could use this to her advantage, she thought, and a plan came to mind.

In this small room, surely, soon, her scent would get too much for him, and he’d feel compelled to touch her and maybe then he would feed from her and then maybe... Oh, her mind was running away with her! Visions of him tearing off her clothes to having his wicked way with her on his desk flooded her mind just as it had done the last time she was alone in his office with him. The idea made her skin flush golden, and she noticed Warren’s nostrils twitch, indicating he could smell her already.

“I see that your brace has been removed?” Warren noted as he stood from his chair. With purpose in his stride, he prowled towards her; the leather soles of his shoes tapped against the hardwood floor.

“Yeah, the doctor gave me the ‘all clear’, so I thought I’d come to tell you the good news.”

“Mhmm, that is good news.” Warren halted and stood firm about two feet away from her and tucked his hands into his pant pockets, giving nothing of his intentions away.

“Uh- yeah, he said that my last x-ray shows that the bone hasn’t grafted back together as neatly as it could have, but the regrowth is good and strong, so I’m all better.”

“Please tell me you haven’t come in here to ask for permission to go out?” His brow furrowed slightly. “You don’t have to ask Karou; you’re free to come and go as you please.”

“Oh no, nothing like that. I just wanted to see you.” Karou grinned. “Uh, tell you, I mean.”

“Then you should go. I’m sure you’re keen to get some fresh air.” Warren cleared his throat and gestured to the door at her back. Ironically, it was Warren that needed some fresh air if he was going to keep a level head. The air was getting thick with Karou’s scent just as she’d surmised it would. It’d been her scent that had drawn him closer and away from his desk.

Karou looked disappointed when he thwarted her plan in asking her to leave and just nodded in understanding as she pulled her eyes from his face. She’d leave any second, but before she could commit to it, Warren had moved and turned the doors lock catch. “Or we could play out a little of the fantasy that just flashed through your mind’s eye?”

Karou looked up to find Warren inches from her face. “How do you-...”

Warren’s hands set against the door, either side of her head, and tilted his face down towards her shoulder, “You’re not as good at keeping those sorts of thoughts to yourself as you think.” He whispered into her neck and though he’d trapped her, what he said made her heart race.

“Y-you’re only acting this way because you’re thirsty...”

“I won’t deny that I find your scent almost impossible to ignore, but if you’re fantasising about me biting you, then why shouldn’t I act on my impulses and do it for both of our sakes?” As he spoke, his hand brushed her hair back from her neck gently, and his fingers twitched to send a cool breeze over her flushed sink that made her shiver.

“What was that?” Karou asked and giggled in reaction to how it tickled.

“Hmm, just a trick,” Warren smirked. Karou could feel how his lips pulled into the coy smile when they gently traced over her skin, teasing her for only a moment before she felt the familiar and welcome sting of his fangs sinking into her skin. It’d been a while since he’d fed from her. The intensity of the sensation caused her to moan loudly and without a filter. How am I supposed to resist you when you make noises like that, Karou? Warren thought as he desperately growled into her neck.

A moment later, his hands found their way up her dress. He just needed to touch her. The skin over her waist was his usual go-to place, but he enjoyed every inch of skin he touched on the way there. Honestly, he wanted the dress out of the way, but there was no way he could break contact with her neck in his flustered and thirsty state, so he tore it from her any way that he could, to leave her in her underwear. The frenzy of both blood lust and sexual arousal took over.

It swept Karou away too, and without thinking, she was tugging his tie from his neck to tear open his dress shirt; buttons went falling to ping off the floor to God knows where. Her dainty hands splayed over any naked piece of his skin she could find while he shrugged off the shirt the rest of the way.

The moment his hands were back on her, he grabbed hold of her thighs and lifted her so she could wrap her legs around him, and she did so willingly along with her arms so that she could comb her fingers into his hair. He was still at her neck but had since stopped feeding, and his kisses explored her cheek, jaw, and shoulder too. With her eyes closed to savour the pleasure, it took her a moment to figure out that Warren was carrying her away from the door. He didn’t want to crush her wings a second time when her injury had only just healed. That was how Karou found herself perched on the edge of Warren’s desk; he planned to fulfil some more of her fantasy if she’d let him. She really wanted to, but they still hadn’t gotten around to talking through something that’d been on her mind since they fought. Did he love her? There was only one way to know; to ask, but she wasn’t sure she could muster the courage to blurt it out.

“Warren, will you kiss me?” She managed breathily.

“I am...” He mumbled in the skin that lay taught over her collar bones.

“I mean here, on my lips?” Karou bravely took hold of either side of his face and made him look at her. She adored looking into his eyes this close just after he’d fed; the way the blue on the surface of his iris appeared like shimmering water over white sand was mesmerising.

“I thought we agreed I wasn’t going to do that?”

“I asked you not to if you didn’t... y’know, and when we fought, you said that you did.” Their eyes remained locked as neither of them moved. How lost he looked convinced Karou of something, and she instantly backtracked. You stupid girl. She thought to herself and cared less if Warren heard or not. “Unless you didn’t actually mean it, ‘the heat of the moment’ and all that. I could’ve just imagined it.” Karou pushed Warren back from her and hopped down from his desk quickly. “Uh-... I have books to return to the library. Excuse me.” Glancing to the pile of tattered fabric on the floor by the door, she picked up her ruined dress and bolted out of his office. I can’t believe I let myself get so close just for him to back out again. This is torture.

Warren was taken aback and wasn’t sure what he should’ve said. He supposed he had said it but not in so many words. As she’d said, in the heat of the moment, he’d blurted it all out and had since hoped that she’d forgotten about it. It seemed that his silence on the topic had now convinced her that she’d imagined it. He felt guilty and stupid for not having just kissed her when she’d asked - he wanted to, there was no doubt in his mind about that. He wanted many things, some romantic, some sexual, some simply instinctual and vampiric, but still, he wanted only Karou to fulfil all of those desires. Wasn’t it cruel to let her think she’d imagined him admitting he loved her? He’d heard her thoughts, and it was painful to let her feel embarrassed by what had almost happened or rather not happened. He didn’t want to torture them both anymore.

Grabbing his buttonless shirt, he shrugged it on and rushed for the door. Karou had dressed quickly in her room, just leggings and a top and left the unit with a pile of books in her arms, but he caught her just in time.

“Karou!”

“What?” She turned her head to look back at him as he stood in the unit’s doorway.

“We should talk.”

“It- It can wait, right? You have work, and I have books to return, fresh air to catch.”

“No, it doesn’t have to wait. I’ve made you wait over a week to talk about this.” Warren wanted to reconcile with her and did something very unlike him; because the Compound was primarily his workplace, he was never undressed in public if he could help it, but right then, he stepped out of the unit and held out his hands to take her books off her. “Come back inside?”

“I think it should wait. I don’t want to fight again.” Karou said, fighting back the tears gathering in her eyes. Right then, she felt utterly stupid and just wanted to hide from him for a little while so she could get over it and lick her wounds.

“I don’t want to fight either. But, if you really have to get those books back, I understand.”

“I hope I haven’t interrupted a moment.” A distinct voice chimed into the courtyard, and Karou’s head whipped around to gaze at the person standing in the entrance to the Compounds main building. Warren’s eyes homed in too, and the three of them just stood there looking at each other. Time seemed to have stopped when a heavy realisation hit them. A reckoning had come in the form of something expected but had arrived far too soon - Cambria Morningstar’s arrival threatened the dawn of a certain kind of apocalypse.

The library books sat in a pile on the corner of the couch; they didn’t get returned that day. To say that ‘the dragon lady’ and ‘the iceberg’ didn’t see eye to eye was an understatement, and Karou had found herself caught in the crossfire for most of the afternoon until Warren had gotten too frustrated to continue taking part in the three-way conversation. He disappeared off into the kitchen to cool down.

Meanwhile, Karou sat and chatted with Cambria about Enoch in a little more detail than on her last visit. She advertised a bright future and promised another visit before she’d finally come and “rescue her from Warren’s clutches” and her “miserable existence at the Compound”. Now that Karou had had time to compile some competent questions for Cambria, she pushed her about the specifics of what her life would be like in Enoch. Even though Karou no longer considered it an option, Roman had been so open about what was on offer in Blue Ash. If she was truly going to compare them and decide between going or staying, she needed to know exactly what she was signing up for. Unfortunately, the fallen angel didn’t give away all her plans but just enough to hopefully whet her little nephilim descendant’s appetite.

Cambria mentioned one final thing before she left them in peace. She expressed concern and was annoyed by how attached Karou seemed to Warren, stating that Karou was nearly impossible to hold eye contact when he wasn't in the room because she kept looking after him.

“I hope you haven’t forgotten the terms of our deal.” Cambria had said. Warren remembered very well what they’d agreed, and he had played ball so far. He’d never promised Karou that she could stay with him forever, and he never let her forget that eventually, she’d make her life in Enoch without him.

When it was all over, Karou found Warren in the kitchen. He was leant forward against the island, his hands grasped tight onto the countertop. She didn’t know what kind of mood he was in, so she approached gingerly. “She’s gone now,” Karou whispered; the mood felt fragile, and she wasn’t sure Warren wanted her to break the silence or whether he would’ve preferred it remain.

“Is she taking you with her?” Warren asked dryly without turning to face Karou.

“No. Not this time. I guess she’ll come back soon, though.” Karou replied, her voice still sounding timid. All she could think about was the look on Warren’s face when he realised Cambria had arrived. Slowly she reached out her hand and grasped onto his upper arm. “Warren...”

“Are you disappointed?” His voice almost caught in his throat when he spoke, and now that she touched him, he looked to her.

When he didn’t flinch away, she took it to mean she could get closer. So, before she replied, Karou moved to cling onto his arm and buried her face into his bicep. “No.”

Without another word, Karou found herself enveloped in Warren’s arms; naturally, her face nestled into the centre of his chest. In return, she clung to him like he was her lifeboat; the safety she found settled her entirely even if she was still trembling as she came down from her rush of emotions.

Warren’s hand found its way into Karou’s hair to comfort her in a simple gesture, but that wasn’t enough to sate the anxiety he was experiencing as well as the whiplash of relief that she wasn’t leaving. In truth, they’d both felt ambushed by Cambria’s surprise visit and at the sight of her, both their hearts sank. The feeling of quashed dreams had overcome them in a great wave of sadness, and now all they could do in the wake of it was hold onto each other so that they wouldn’t be washed away.

“I’ve been living like it was never actually going to happen...” Karou muttered into Warren’s t-shirt. Her tears were staining the grey fabric darker as she cried, but he didn’t care; he just held her and, every so often, kissed the top of her head.

“I know. It doesn't help that Cambria’s has a flair for unexpected entrances.”

“You looked pretty surprised to see her too.” Karou sighed as she traced her fingers over his bicep and chest area; she could practically feel his façade dropping as they consoled each other. She savoured the moment, enjoying how his scent emanated from the centre of his chest and right into her face. “What will happen when I’m gone?”

“You mean what will I do?” Warren smirked and leaned back a little so that he could see her face. “Well... As romantic as the idea that I can’t live without you sounds, it’s not true, is it? I’ll continue to exist just as I did before I met you, Karou.”

“Okay. I don’t know why I asked now. I didn’t expect you to say anything different.” While Warren spoke, Karou looked at his face, but when she blushed, she buried her face back into him, bashfully.

He was quick to say, “That doesn’t mean that I know how I’m going to live without you. I just know that I’ll have to.”

“Do you think you’ll miss me?”

“I expect so.”

“You could at least try to sound convincing...” Karou looked up at him again, but this time she was pouting. He was ruining their nice moment with his rationale over romance personality. “You expect to miss me? You make it sound like you’re reporting the weather forecast or something. ‘On Wednesday, we’re to expect some rain.’” She mocked.

“Would you just stop?” Warren asked. He knew how he sounded, but he wasn’t a man known for flowery words. The fact that he’d admitted that he’d miss her at all was notably uncharacteristic of him. “I’m happy and relieved that for now, you’re not going anywhere, okay?” Karou found her face cupped between Warren’s hands, and her head tipped back gently so that he could look deeply into her eyes as he spoke. When he did things like that, the thought of ever leaving him seemed inconceivable.

He didn’t know what Karou thought when she looked up at him, but he didn’t leave himself time to overthink what he wanted to do. He just did it - he kissed her. Warren meant to really kiss her, and when he opened her lips against his, she made a sweet-sounding murmur that made him want her more. How something so pined for, so anticipated could be so perfect was to render reality as delicious and cliché as fantasy. Still, Karou allowed herself to be utterly consumed by the moment and leaned into him submissively. Warren’s hands wandered down her neck and lightly over her chest to her waist, where he held onto the slimmest part of her body with eager pressure. Karou reciprocated, reaching up to splay her hands into the hair at the nape of his neck. She needed to keep him close while they enjoyed each other.