Just like that, a month passed by. Whenever I bump into young master Ye in the past month, I would hide away in fear, just like the monster in my heart. Although I do not fear the man himself, but I fear the pain of seeing the man. My appetite deteriorated at the thought of the heartless man while my heart felt cold, considering even suicide, but the thought that I carried a life within me caused indecision to surface in my heart.

Once again, young master Ye left for America, and once again he gave me the severance pay for my service. My heart clenched as I felt so bitter from the fact that I did not know what this money was for during my last life. I even accepted it with gratitude thinking it was for my hard service and that he cared about me. This time, I watched as he left with a cold heart, but I still felt a very stifled feeling knowing that I will not see him again.

Once again, I moved into my apartment. Every day, I would go to the local abortion clinic and stand outside, without the courage to take that final step in. My heart was so cold at the thought of bearing his child, but I could not bear to kill my him. He was the treasure granted to me by the heavens. He was my reason for living during my last life. After raising him for 18 years, I could not bear to give up on him. Yet, the cold feelings that I had made me afraid of giving birth to him and maltreating him.

My friendly neighbors were there once again, back to how they were before. I was able to befriend the middle age woman quickly this time due to knowing her well from all the years of interaction. The old granny still came by to give me lessons on pregnancy and child care, but the more she talked the more indecisive I had become.

Eventually, I had stalled long enough such that abortion was no longer an option. At that time, although I knew that my heart would hurt when I see him, I knew that it was not the child's fault. The child is innocent, and he is my one and only child. Although he abandoned me at the end in my last life, I cannot bear to abandon him in this life.

Once again, the painful process of giving birth enveloped me as I held on much more strongly this time. The baby boy once again stares at me with those familiar blue eyes that I saw on that fateful day. Yet, I have not seen them on young master Ye again ever since that day.

This life, I was determined to raise him better than I did last life. I decisively stored the bundle of money into the bank once again as savings for Xiao Bu Fu's future. I knew he will forget me in the future, so this life, I decided to engrave the fact into him that he should always keep in contact with me, lest I worry. To do this, I took an extra part time job this life in order to afford a cellphone for both him and me starting from the age of five. I taught him how to use the cell and we would always use it to keep in contact when he is outside or when I am at work.

Once again, I watched as Fu'er grew up, visiting me less and less, but this time, he would call me at least once a week, if not more. I am very happy with how Fu'er remembers me deeply, and once again, I sent him off to university, knowing that he will be meeting his future soon.

Then, Fu'er brought Wu Die home once again. I pretended to meet her all over again, but this time, I got to know her better. She had brown, silky long hair with a thinly shaped face. She was also very intelligent as she was able to decipher my intentions to know her better very quickly, and she actually took the initiative to introduce herself. She told me that she worked at the same company that my son was interning at, and that she was very happy to meet my son.

Although I tried to figure out the name of the company, I was told that it was one of those government research companies that must be kept secret. I did not know my son was involved in such great things, but I was happy that he found his path. Although he might have forgotten about me while doing too much research in the future, I know that he would be living well with such a generous wife.

Just like that, Fu'er and Wu Die moved overseas once again for an assignment, but this time, I would still get calls from Fu'er weekly. I am glad that in this life, I will not be alone anymore because Fu'er will not forget me that easily. However, the future seemed to be jealous of my sweet interactions with Fu'er as it decided to severe our bond.

A month after Fu'er moved overseas, the phone calls stopped coming. Once again, I waited and waited, but the phone calls never came. I could not help but think, "Am I abandoned once again?"

This time, I firmly made the decision that I no longer wanted to wait. I sold the apartment to gather some savings, then I took a plane overseas.

When I got off the plane in California with a queasy feeling due to the trauma from the accident long ago, I realized that I did not know where my child went. Of all the things I could have known, I did not know where they moved to besides the name of the country because they replied that it was "secretive" and government sensitive.

Hence, I learned to drive, got my license, bought a cheap car with some of my savings, then lived on the road as I traveled the country in search of my son while taking up jobs here or there.

Years and decades passed as my hair turned white once more. Yet, there was still no news of my son. I wasn't even able to find a trace of his existence, nor even got close to knowing where he went.

As I laid on the backseat of my fourth old car, I felt really tired. Not only was I physically tired from chronic back pain due to sleeping in the uncomfortable car, I was also tired from searching, tired from not finding. My heart was weary and tinged with sadness, desiring to stop with this farce; however, I decided to close my eyes for a short rest and made the decision to begin searching again when I wake up while wondering, "Fu'er, did you forget mother again?"

Those were my final thoughts in this life.