Darkness. That's all that I can see anywhere I look, wait a second… actually I can't turn my head, so nevermind. Darkness is all that I can see in the direction that I am facing currently. That sounds better, anyways I kind of expected this to be honest, I never believed in "The" God, I believed that there were "gods" or entities that were above us or had some sort of supernatural powers but never actually believed in an afterlife. And I was right, wasn't I? There's literally nothing here… Wait what's that? Just kidding there's nothing, at all. So what am I supposed to do now?

Do I float here until I go insane? Can I even go insane anymore since y'know, I don't exactly have a body anymore I don't think. How long have I actually been here? All I remember before this darkness is that I was a massive fucking weeb with not much purpose in life if I'm being brutually honest, I went to school like any other normal person, lived life like a completely normal person, took hits like a completely normal person, ate breakfast like a normal person, only thing not normal about my life was my anime addiction. Unhealthy anime addiction to be exact.

Being a weeb actually helps you a lot when you assassinate someone, making plans is really easy (not that they're good plans, mind you), executing them is another matter entirely but the plan part is rather easy. Even if plans don't always go the way you expect them to.

It's time for the fan favourite, story explaining, AWESOME, AMAZING AND UTTERLY COOL "FLASHBACK NO JUTSU!"

*Flashback*

Sitting on top of a concrete roof I take my eyes away from the metal edge of the scope, this shit hurts after waiting for a while, doesn't help that I'm using enough pressure to break my skull. The metal kinda just bites into the area around your eye, I'm sure if I had a mirror right now I'd look like a retard with a monocle around my right eye. Amusing thought. I adjust my body into a more comfortably position and notice that there's not much sound around me, which is kinda weird since usually you'd hear birds chirping or crickets making their crickety sounds… This is actually super creepy, not the first time I've been on a sniping run, most of my hits are done by sniping actually. Not to brag or anything but I'm actually known as sniping god. (On runescape, due to my 99 archery) Anyways, who the fuck cares about some stupid birds? Me obviously, you didn't actually expect me NOT to care about the nonexistant sounds of nature around me? I turn around and look at the rooftop entrance that sticks out of the roof, door's still closed and the handle trap hasn't been triggered yet. Said trap being a piece of wire attached to the handle which will make a plate fall if the door is opened, simple but effective, suprisingly so. So I assume that birds are just being cunts, seriously, kids, don't be a sniper, its uncomfortable and soggy and wet and shit. I'm only doing it because I am obviously being forced to. I have absolutely no choice in the matter and I am not doing this out of boredom. Murdering people is bad, don't do it guys… Believe me? Yes? Oh good. I was hoping someone would believe me, I am not a bad murderer, I swear on my innocence.

After checking the door handle one more time I turn my head back to my sexy sniper, putting my puffy, and at the same time indented eye monocle to the scope once again. And wait. And wait some more after waiting. I might wait some more after waiting after that? I don't really know yet. I think I'll wait some more.

After waiting for what seems like hours I decide to break the 4th wall and give some exposition for my sexy readers (Pogs if you're a member of the female species). My target today is some fat guy (Apperently there's a difference between fat and obese, who knew?) who murdered his aunt for not funding his dying business. Kinda weird if you think about it since his aunt is the only person that could help his business (I presume) but he goes and murders her, what a weirdo am I right? Totally not what I'd do,It's too simple, instead I'd seduce my aunt, get her pregnant (not with my child, obviously,) and then while she's in labour 9 months later I'd hire an assassin to poison her and then catch that assassin and murde- Kill the assassin out of self defence, before the poison sets in too much, then give the antidote to my aunt which was conveniently on the assassins somehow dead body, and then gain her trust after raising our children together for 5 years, and then steal all her money and flee to morocco and start a drug empire. It's a completely foolproof plan that has no faults whatsoever, don't even try to argue with me on this point, because your arguments are completely irrelevant and unfeasible, Change of subject required.

I forgot to mention I can't be bothered with things like "camo" pfft who needs that, I've got a custom skin on my 50cal of Albedo with barely anything covering her nips, It's fucking hot. If you don't know who Albedo is I'm utterly disappointed in your lack of cultural knowledge. Leave. God I'm so fucking bored on this roof top, who knew patience was a must have when you were a sniper? I wasn't informed of this, I didn't sign up for this shit, (Yes I did)

I shrug my shoulders to get the stiffness out of them and take a sip from my long cold coffee, it tastes like cold coffee. Who knew? Some birds shat on me a while ago but I can't really bring myself to care since I'm just wearing a plain white shirt and not one of my special overlord shirts, or worse my highschool dxd shirts, I'd skin the bird that shat on me if I was wearing either of those. They're LIMITED edition!

I put my eye back to my scope and felt the metal edge dig into the indent around my eyes, and said eyes widen in surprise, my target has finally arrived! I aim up my shot on top of his chest and activate the wind calibrater, it's quite windy so I can't just wing it this time, I'm also really far away so the bullet would inevitably be put off course by the wind. After a few seconds of measuring the wind it gives me an approximate of the wind direction and speed, I readjust my shot and steady my breathing. I've done this dozens of times but it never fails to get my heart pumping, blood boiling, dick hard and read to fuck. I pull the trigger and the bullet launches itself out of my 50cal at subsonic speeds, It takes not even 2 seconds to travel the distance between me and the fat guy, pounding his face and taking half of it to the wall on his left, along with the rest of his body falling to the ground. The Prostitute he was about to pick up flailing about and running around like a headless chicken. Maybe I should kill her too? Nah, gotta get out of here before cops show up. Cya fat man.

*Clap. Clap. Clap*. Oh, oh no, I've been duked

"You got him, good job Mister Ira" My weeb senses are going off the charts, this guy is talking in japanese, sounding like a stereotypical thug (Don't ask how he sounds like a thug, he just does) and I can understand him fully, those japanese courses are paying off already! And my friend's told me it's a waste of time and I was a massive weeb, who's laughing now?! Wait a second wasn't there some guy just behi- *BOOM* Curse you door trap! How could you betray me?!

I felt searing pain in my left thigh and I knew for sure that that shot cracked the bone, I think it might've also completely destroyed my artery, So I'm bleeding out no matter what I do. There's only one way to go out now, hehe. And I'm taking you with me doortrap-kun.

I spin around using my arms and face the man whos holding a shiny deagle aimed straight at me. He's the guy who hired me to kill the other guy! I realise that I've been setup from the beginning now, as understanding dawns upon me I see a glint in his eyes. I should've seen this coming! He smelled like trouble from a mile away, damn it!

"So you've realised now huh? Yes, This was all an elaborate setup planned by me ever since you assasinated my elder sister 4 years ago! Mwahahaha I have finally taken revenge and I'll leave you to bleed out on this roof, but you can't die before I monologue my entire planning processes for you. So, where to begi- huh what's that?" I grin wickedly at his idiocy, while he was talking like generic bad guy number 3 I've been preparing this little surprise for him. I know for sure that I'm going to bleed out no matter what, and I've always wanted to do something like this, It seemed fun.

"SUICIDE NO JUTSU BITCH! SUCK MY LEFT NUT" And with that half of the building combusts into a massive fireball, Originating from the 25 kilograms of plastic explosives strapped to my chest. I always wear a suicide vest just incase something like this happens (It's also good training), or if someone uses a tranquillizer dart on me for capture, or something like that. As someone wise once said, it's better to be over prepared and seen an paranoid then to be underprepared and actually be a retard, or something like that I think. Probably.

The flaming heat death is actually kinda relaxing, feels like I'm a giant crab cooking in an oven, that's over 3000 celsius degrees hot. Relaxing.

*Flashback end*

"Hmmm, now that I reflect on all that, I have to say that those actions of mine were simply and utterly FUCKING AWESOME! Seriously! You should've seen his face when I told him to suck my left nut, it was fucking hilarious. I loved every moment of that!" Wait why am I talking to myself in this eternal void? Wait how did I even speak tho? Didin't I have no body to speak with?

After thinking about it for a second I completely understand, obviously I was projecting my mental voice out into the void. Sagely nodding I realise I can also move my head, So I wasn't actually projecting my voice into the void? That's depressing as shit.

Anyways, time to try what every generic anime protagonist tries when they regain control of their body after getting hit by truck-kun, except in my case it's actually explosion-kun. Self explosion-kun. Which is talking to the void in hopes that someone hears me and can explain what's possibly going on. Taking a deep breath I prepare to shout out into the void.

Just kidding, did you seriously think I would actually do something that dumb? That's like the number 1 rule of anything. Lets just pretend for a second that I wasn't floating in an endless void, lets instead pretend I was in a cave or forest. Would YOU shout out into the unknown and possibly very very dangerous cave or forest? No you wouldn't, that's retarded. The only difference between a forest or cave and this endless void is that in a forest or cave the worst thing that will attack you is a bear, or a big cat (Read: Cheetah) but both those you have a small chance to fight off, if you know what you're doing, of course. However if you call out into the endless VOID, what do you expect will show up? , , or some other really scary thing. (I'm leaning towards cthulu)

It's also completely possible that I'm just inside a womb, but that's unlikely since I can't actually feel anything, in a womb you're supposed to feel tight, warm or something, right? Or I might still be an embryo or sperm. But since I probably wouldn't have consciousness if I was a sperm cell and since I can't feel anything currently, I will have to be forced to come to the conclusion that I am indeed in a void.

Great, back to step 1. Okay, calm down, let's just access the situation for now. I died, I know that for sure, pretty sure a giant explosion can kill just about anyone. I am also currently floating in some kind of void, it is NOT a womb since I can't feel anything. And lastly I am still conscious since I can still think. Okay, not too bad. If I can't think of any other plans to get out of here then I'll try shouting out into the void and hoping for the best, and If that fails… I guess I'll just suck it up and go insane, they do say insanity and genius have only a fine line between them.

Okay, trying plan 1, I try to move my hands and it works! Great progress so far. I try to move my legs and clench my ass cheeks, it all works. Great, I move my hands down and check if I still have my most important asset. It's there, relief floods my system and I instantly feel better, nice. Good. I move my hands to my ass and realise there's still only 1 hole back there, that's good too. I check if I have tits, and I'm glad to say that I do not. But if I did I wouldn't mind too much, I'm sure you've wondered how they would feel if you fondled them. Seems like women enjoy it plenty.

Okay, trying plan 1 for real this time. "Stats" I think inside my own head. Oof, plan 1 is a failure, I repeat, plan 1 is a failure. We'll get em next time. Okay plan 2: "Stats" I say out loud this time… Nothing. Fuck.

Time for plan 3…. "Hello? Anyone out there? Don't murder me… Please?"... What did you expect? I only had 1 freaking plan. In my defence, It seemed like the perfectly normal and logical thing to do… Right?

*Ping*

"SNIPER GET DOWN!" sorry, had to. Hehhehe

"Gamer system engaged, connecting user to system. Please wait"

"... Hell YES!" And then everything fades to an even blacker than before.