《I Was Monster Once, Now I Am Human》A Night Before The Debut In This Modern World
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My name is Albert, Albert Neslete. I used to be a monster but now, I am a human. I was reincarnated in this modern world, where magic and monsters suppose to be limited to the fairy tales. Though, I am not so sure about that.
In this world, My objective always has been to prove to the self-proclaimed God; not even a single human could be called innocent.
When I got reincarnated, I was born in Neslete family. I have never been outside of this house without a guardian and I rather not go outside if possible but
earlier, from my maid I learned, I lack some of the common sense of this world. and I also realized, Without venturing outside, I cannot prove anything.
"God damn it! I've been called a Brat my entire life but never knew what it meant!! " I had some anger issue. but, Thanks to 'Yoga' I've been doing good regarding anger.
In any case, At the age of 14, I intentionally failed High School School since now I know, Passing 'exams' isn't good for my health.
"No matter what others say, I will join a High School. "
I have always skipped almost every school and passed exams without much of trouble, My family grew high expectations of me but---
Because of that, I also thought my parents would be mad at me for failing the exam and not giving my best
"Our son, Finally, He is old enough to make decisions for himself. I feel like an old lady now " Said my mother to my father. I wasn't trying to eardrop but I happen to hear it while I was passing by.
"Though I do still wanna sleep with him and hug him. but I am happy for him" F-A-T-H-E-R replied to mother with his disgusting smile on his face.
I never intended to listen to their conversation so, I left. Also because I couldn't stand my annoying father's words.
I went back to my room. As I sat on the bed, I started to think; The distance I kept between me and my parents until now. Was it right?
"*sigh*I'll try to talk to them more. uh... I am tired..." I lay down on my bed with a sigh. "Tomorrow is the day. My official debut in this world, how its gonna turn out? " Though I been outside when I was a kid but I was always accompanied by my parents so, it doesn't count.
Monster doesn't necessarily get nervous but as a human, Things are different. But still, I don't regret my decision when I said to god, "I'll keep these emotions"
"I'll sleep for now. " with that, I closed my eyes in this comfy bed of mine.
[In Middle of The Following Night]
As I was having a dream, suddenly, for known reasons, I opened my eyes and saw a face. "not again... " on my left side. Someone was lying down on the bed with me.
It was Diana, my maid. She was sleeping soundly beside me, but we were not under the same blanket.
"She didn't even touch my blanket to cover herself up even in this cold"
I know her reasons to not touch the blanket, its because she doesn't want to disturb me and wake me up while moving the blanket around.
"But I bet she is freezing. Why do you even go so far as to sleep on my bed with me even in such cold nights? " was the question I wanted to ask her but even if I do ask her, she won't answer honestly.
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As always, I simply let her in my blanket since I don't want her to freeze to death. In any case, I am a human now so, I am not gonna deny the desires that I posses. I do have those kinds of desire. though I do see her in that light, I don't possess the strength to do anything with her since I know She isn't in my bed for that kind of thing. There is something else.
By the way, I did try to get out of my bed to let her sleep on it comfortably but she gets fairly angry in the morning when she sees me sleeping on a couch or something. On top of that, The nights in this world are cold so, I rather not spend my night outside of my bed.
She'd always have a straight face whenever she talks about it "Master, Why would get off your bed? You will catch a cold!" not a single shred of embarrassment.
Whenever I ask her, "if that's the case, Why'd you get in my bed? " she would simply reply "'Cause I am scared of ghosts. " as if she scared of ghosts.
dammit, There aren't any ghosts in this world in the first place!!
Whenever I look at her sleeping face in these kinds of nights,
"[Sigh] She's is beautiful. When she sleeps, It is the only time she shows this soothing expression on her face." Is what I come to understand, every night.
It makes me feel comfortable and puts me at ease since She works the hard whole day, always has a serious and straight face but whenever I see her like this---
"An innocent human..." I stopped myself from diving any deeper in my thoughts since I was almost about to say, 'Such an innocent expression'
I know, Saying something like isn't actually wrong considering She does have an expression of an innocent even if she is just a human---
"Argg-- I drifting away from my ideals! "
As I was calming myself down, She mumbles few words in her sleep "Alb---rt... don..'t "
" Wh---!! " She spoke my name in her sleep... did she not?
That surprised me, that I almost shouted. but I never once heard my name from her, at least she never called me by name. She'd always call me Master but, she obviously called me by my name and what did she mean by 'Don't'? What kind of dream she is having?
There is a terrified expression on her face, seems she is having a nightmare.
In any case, I have heard in books; When someone is having a nightmare, you should touch their face or something. Maybe, She'd feel better if I touch her face in time like this... I probably should [Influnce of this new world]. I don't have any ulterior intentions.
With that, I extended my right hand on top of her cheek and slowly touched her cheek--- To my surprise, She responded even in her sleep as she grabbed my hand on her cheek and said "Thank you. " and I realized;
"You are awake, aren't you? "
"Yes... Now I am, Master. I was having a bad dream but in the midst of that dream, I felt your hand and when I grabbed it, it pulled me out of the bad dream. Also, woke me."
Darn, now this is embarrassing. She had to wake up when I touched her face.
She was still grabbing my hand and didn't let my hand go so, I didn't bother trying to remove it.
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" I see. "
[After a few seconds of awkward silence]
"Master, do you remember the time when you told me to get out of the room and shouted at me? " She said [Still grabbing hand; doesn't seem to have any intention of letting my hand go]
She is bringing that up, now? Is she still angry about that?
In little worry, I replied to her " Of course, I do. How could I forget myself acting in such a manner? I never knew I was capable of such a thing."
She giggled when she heard my words " Indeed, Master you underestimate yourself. " but her smile slips away with a pause in her words and as she continues, I could see the depressing expression on her face "But you know, Master, I was really mad and felt really bad at that time. "
Of course... She felt bad. Who wouldn't? At that time, She had already been with me for almost a year and I treated her like that. ".....It was my fault." and to be honest, I felt like she looked up to me so, I can understand why would she still remember it and it is still bothering her.. What can I now say but apologize, Once again " I'm Sorry, Di-- "
"No, no, no! Master, You misunderstood! " She interrupted me while saying that. " I wasn't angry at you! not at all! but instead, I was angry at myself. I spent a whole year with you and watched you, Spending your nights with those books in your hands. I was capable of seeing your hard work but never understood the reasons behind it. You tried your hardest and I, shamelessly said those undesirable words to you. I didn't even understand why you were working so hard, only watched and never asked. on that night, I cried. and the next day, you apologized while you were on knees in front of me. When I saw you, like that, I was devastated but at the same time, I understood your reason for the first time. For the first time, I knew, Why you were doing what you were doing. Finally, I came to know, How much of a gentle soul you are. So, I shamelessly accepted your apologies even though, you were not at the fault. From that point on, I came to know many wonderful things about you and as I was with you, I saw wonders, things that I'd only read in a fairy tale. To have you as my master is truly a blessing but I am also scared, I am afraid that I might lose you, I afraid that you might disown me for something. And that's not the extends of my feelings, I know I am saying a lot of things here but Master, I have a dream that I want to fulfill but before that, please know, I truly love you as a person but most importantly, As a Master And I don't want to lose you.----- Master, Your smile brings joy to me but you don't smile much. so, I want to be someone who brings a smile on your face. That's the dream I talk of. "
Were words she said to me, and I was dumbstruck. Her face was like a rainbow, changing between colors as she spoke. Her happiness overshadowed by her sadness and anger, and those emotions were overshadowed by her excitement. I can't even begin to imagine how many of her feelings she held back, deep in her heart. I don't know, How much strength she must have needed to say all of these things to me but I know, It must have been hard because I've gone through almost the same situation in my previous life.
But the crisis now was, What should I say to her? I have never been a target of such emotions. Maybe, I should say the same words, my partner said at that time? The time when I purposed to her, just like this.
Na, no, no! My partner was, she was way too blunt. After all, she said 'Okay then, let's make babies.' with that straight face of her.
[A minute later; still thinking. ]
"Master... " Argh! She is making a strange face now!
In the end, I left the bed and turned on the lights of my room [In the middle of the night]. As I extended my hand towards her [towards the bed], I asked her "Wanna take a stroll? " and she took my hand while she nodded her head.
She follows my lead, walking behind me while she keeps on looking towards her feet. in this big house, in the middle of the night.
I intend to go to the backyard behind my house; it is big, on a scale, it would be around 30 meters in length and 20 meters in width. There are trees on the boundaries along with walls and a few planets there and here[A Garden]. There is also something called, Swimming Pool but I never understood why we 'actually' need it since I have never seen anyone even setting their feet in it.
While we walk to the backyard, "Diana, Do you know about magic?" I asked her.
"Yes, I do. Master." She replied with a surprised expression on her. But I did expect that much, I mean asking something like this out of blue will obviously catch her off-guard. But I didn't ask her this question to start a conversation because I know all of the stuff about magic[ obviously did]
"Do you believe that people can 'actually' use such a thing? Something that defies the laws of gravity and physics that 'humans' are taught in their entire life in this world. And tell me, Would you laugh at me if I say, I'd often try to use it."
"Of course not! Master, If you think such thing be used, then I would wholeheartedly believe it." Diana said, with her eyes wide open and openly showing her interest in it. I am glad that she would believe my words so--
"Diana, You know, there has always been something in my mind regarding you. Do you remember when I said You are mysterious? "
"Yes...? You were just fooling around at that time, were you not? "
"Kinda, but--- Let's go to the backyard first. "
The Self-Proclaimed God always emphasize on a word while saying [He'd sent me In a world, Where for humans, monsters are nothing more than fantasy, where magic is nothing more than a fairy tale or "that is what they believe"] He never said, Magic doesn't actually exist in this world. But instead, He would always say 'That's what they[humans?] believe. This is something I had already noticed the first time when he introduced this world to me and I also tried to find a way to use magic in this world but never succeed, even though every single piece of the puzzle is on the right place.
So, you know, I kinda gave up on it until now.
[In the backyard]
"Diana, Can you stand in front of me, two feet away," I asked her and she stood in front of me just like I said without any question. But, I am gonna ask her some really strange questions so, I gotta alert her beforehand "I am gonna ask you a few strange questions but you have to answer them without a lie "
"Of course! I would never lie to you, Master! " So, She said.
"Aha... I get it. *Ahem* now, Tell me, Do you remember the time of your birth?" A strange question, isn't it? Well, I have to know a few things before I get to the main subject and after what she said to me tonight, I can somewhat trust her for what I am about to do.
"uh? No, I don't. Master, is that perhaps strange to not remember? "
"No, it's not strange. It is actually normal for people to not remember such things and it would be strange if they do." I said as I started walking around her "But you know, I do remember. I still remember the time I spent in the womb of my mother, I was aware of myself; I was thinking all sort of things while I was in that darkness. " As I stood behind her back, where she couldn't see me. I started gaze towards the night sky, " Can you tell me, What could be the reason behind such a thing? "
She turned around, towards me and replied "No... I can't think of anything."
While I, still gazing towards the sky, "You can see those stars, science tells us, there should be a world similar to this world of ours and what if I tell you, there is a world just like our, circling around one of those stars. A world, where magic exists and used daily " I said to her, Without knowing if she is gonna call me stupid or believe the words I spoke but I wouldn't have said these words to her unless I believed; There is a chance.
And I was right, To take that chance since "Master... Are-- you telling me, you are reincarnated in this world!!? From the said world?" She said and believed my words, not only that but she was also able to tell what I hinted on; My reincarnation. She is good.
"No comment," I replied to her question since I wouldn't be happy to tell her everything since I don't know how she would react if I told her; I was actually a monster. No matter what she says, In the end, humans would always see monsters as an evil creature. But if I leave this subject just like this, She at least will be willing to listen to my words and do as I say. And that's all I need to I processed with my experiment.
"I see. So, Master doesn't want to talk about it. I understand." Diana said and I didn't expect anything less from her 'cause I believe, What she told me tonight, while were--- In any case, She said she understands me.
"Welp, To the main subject. I believe there is a possibility to use magic in this world from what I learned; There was only a single type of magic in my previous world and that was 'Pure magic'. Since there wasn't anything else, So no one knew there are a different type of magic and no one actually called it pure magic and referred to it as 'Magic'. You get the idea, I named it 'Pure Magic' for now [Blah-Blah]"
So, I intended to explain to her about magic and how it is was used in the other world but I drifted away from the point. but when I tried again, she listened while paying attention and that's what I exactly I needed from her.
" In the other world, Magic manifest from Mana; Mana is emitted from the core of the world and every world depends on it, Is what I came to learn when I was reincarnated to this world. "
" From the core? The thing we read about; Every planet has a core and its because of that core, Planet referred to either Active planet or not. " Said, Diana. She is smart So, She takes every bit of information I feed her, very well. Honestly, If someone had told about these things while I was still in my previous world, I would've never understood a single thing since We never knew about such thing as a core in the first place.
"Indeed. And if you are not aware, Every single bit of matter came from a core of a star or a planet. In my previous world, we were allowed to manipulate the mana that the core emitted, directly. but there was also something else called Runes; Runes are still something that you won't be able to understand even if I tell you since it is something from a totally different world and I would have to teach you from the very start. But in simple words, Those things are like a math formula, where you once created it, you would able to invoke magic from the formula and never have to touch the formula."
"???? " She seems so confused...Maybe, I called her smart girl, way too soon.
"If you still don't understand, Let me make it even easier, assume, There is this person who always comes to you and says 'I like you' and you will always have to explain, why you don't like him and now, you tired of explaining it to him. So, what you do is write the reasons, why you don't like him, on paper and show him that paper, whenever he comes to you. In that way, you don't get tired of speaking and he understands those reasons in an instant whenever he sees the paper. If you still don't understand, Think of runes as a grocery list, You hand over the list to a supermarket employee and he grabs everything you need and hands over the items. It just makes it easier and less time-consuming."
"Oh! now, I understand. " As she said that, I fell on my knees. Thank god, She finally understood. But still, She understood something she never heard of "but still, I am not gonna call her smart anymore."
"But Master, you are not explaining why you called me 'Mysterious' " She said-- You care about that more than learning about magic??
" About that--" I stood up on two feet, gently. "The runes I explained to you is called lesser magic. though they did exist as of old-style magic in my previous world and everyone thought of it as something as 'Useless and old stuff' Since there was no need for it when you can just invoke magic by words alone. It's like when that person disturbs you that much by constantly coming back and saying 'I like you' you can just answer him 'fuck you' every-time and never explains the reason, why you don't like him and why you are refusing him." By the way, I was one of them. Who said 'fuck you' instead of explaining. In other words, I also used pure magic and referred to runes as useless old-style magic.
"So, the reason....? "
Argh... Can't she be a little patient?
"I am getting there, slowly... As someone who came from a different world, and who was surrounded by a considerable amount of mana, that magic was indeed useless and now that I can sense, The amount of mana this world lack; maybe the core of this world is just getting old or something li-"
"Master! I think I understand what you are trying to say. You are basically saying, The old-style magic referred in another world could be used in this world! Since it requires less mana? " She said as she interrupted my explanation and-- now, it was getting in my nerve but I was calm. Thank you, Yoga.
"no, and don't you go spoiling things," I said as I smacked on her head " Listen to what I have to say first!"
"Ouch... Okay, Master.."
"Well, In any case, Compared to my previous world, This world is certainly lacking in mana but still, for some reasons, You are-- How should I put it, you are like a vacuum, sucking up vast amount of mana. Because of that, you have a lot of mana stored in your body compared to anyone else I have seen, in this world. I cannot comprehend why you are able to store such amount of mana and how you are still alive? This is a mystery to me, you are a mystery to me " I said to Diana. I believe my last words were somewhat rude but still, The reaction I expected from her was totally different from what she gave me. For some reasons, She seems to be happy that she couldn't hold her smile back, even though she tries her best hide it.
"I see... So, that--- Means-- Master is interested in me. "
"Well, you could say that. " I avoided eye contact while I said that to her for obvious reasons. after all, I am talking about magic and stuff to her, to avoid talking about what she said---- while she was with me on my bed. In the end, I don't know; how should I respond to her.
But there are a few things I didn't tell since there is no need to tell her. Though the mana is like a string that can manipulate matter. but one should be wary of it. if they have such amount of mana, if such a person like her walk around, the string will drag itself on the ground, manipulating things without even any invocation of magic. I will call such a person 'Cursed Magician' Who cannot control himself/herself and destroy everything in their path without even being aware of it and when they come to realize; what is causing abnormal situation around them, they will blame themselves for it and fall deeper in despairs or worst case, they will use this curse as a blessing and turn into evil. A real monster.
But thankfully, this world is different and mana cannot be manipulated directly and for some reasons, mana doesn't interact with the matter directly thus, there is no magic in this world, or that's how it should be. But I aim to change that, I want to teach her magic. Things, that she had only read in a fairy tale.
[4 Am in the morning]
"In any case, Diana, I wanna teach you something. Something so great that If you want, you can rule the world with it. The words you spoke, while we were *ahem* You said, 'you saw wonders, things that you only read in fairy tales' but what if, I bring that fairy tale to you? What if I make this world a fairy tale for you? " I said to her and what I said was but true. I think I can do it. but there a few problems, one of them is-- What if she turns into a monster, I spoke of. I'll worry about that when the times.
"Master, I don't care about such things but If I could be any help to you regarding something, My answer always would be, Yes," she said as she gave me a gentle smile. She says she doesn't care about magic and power that it brings but only wants to help...
"I see. " and just like before, I couldn't find any words to answer her with- How does she always put me this kind of the situation is also a mystery for me. But, I can always be thankful. "Thank you, Diana. So, let's try using some magic, shall we?"
"YES!" She answered.
There was this excitement I felt at that time, knowing if I succeed, She is gonna be something that could help me in various ways. But there was a darker side in that excitement of mine. Even if she turns into an evil-monster when the power itself bows down to her, it's only gonna help me; Proving to the god, How greedy humans are, How a person who looks innocent as her, could be anything but never can be innocent in heart.
And that was not all, I also came to understand something far more; I came to realize, I am not any different anymore since my heart was also stained now, to think in such a devilish way. Now, I am but a human and my monster was slowly dying inside of me.
I am scared. I am might lose myself and become entirely something that I hate the most, A human.
; End of Chapter.
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