After she had left, I did some cleaning and I went to bed. I waited long until dawn, but she never came back, perhaps something happened on the way. But who was I to worry? She always bragged about how strong she was so I had nothing to be concerned about. There were still leftovers from yesterday’s dinner, so I ate them shortly after going out. The first goal of the day was to steal a gun and find the password for Ram Tradey.

Strict regulations on buying and selling guns makes it nearly impossible to obtain a firearm. Despite this, I knew someone who could help - the homeless man. The only problem was that we didn’t quite get off on the right foot, and I had no idea where to find him.

I had sneaked through almost every alley in the city but didn’t get a single clue about him. The sun was about to set, so I gave up and went to spy around the bar’s area. I waited until everyone who could recognise me went in before sitting down near the door, behind some trash cans, begging for money. Similar to any other homeless person. Even though I didn’t receive much and some even made fun of me, I succeeded at my main objective. The password was,”When the light sets, the darkness rises.”

I called it a day, and I was just about to leave, when I turned my back and saw her. I don’t recall what made me turn around, probably fate, but I was convinced it was Veronika. At first I thought it was a betrayal — as I expected but she was looking really down, as if she was about to cry.

Perhaps she was like me, a trapped spirit that hadn’t had a chance at freedom. Overthinking it wasn't going to change anything so the only thing I could do for her is blow that place to pieces. I went back to my secret spot, and went to bed. However, every time I closed my eyes. Her expression came to my mind. I barely slept at all, having constant nightmares about her and my father. Even dead that old idiot was nothing but trouble, I expected to forget about him within the first month. Either way I had to get some sleep in. Tomorrow would be the time to find a gun.

He wasn’t going being very happy about me meeting him, last time we almost killed each other. Luck settled our problem but seems destiny hasn't separated us yet. The next day I prepared to leave, and I went to search once again through the city. Maybe the man from the shop could help me, though I wonder if that’s a good idea.

I rushed to the store and as soon as I stepped in, he loudly said: “Who is there? I will attend you in a few seconds.”

While waiting I noticed the huge amount of dust on the shelves and floor. It looked like nobody had set foot here for a long time.

“Oh aren’t you the young boy that came to visit me last time? What brings you this time? More food perhaps?”The old man said while pushing aside some new curtains on the door.

“Not this time. You seem the wisest person I know and you might know a person I’m looking for,” I told him.

“Who could be the person you are looking for?” he replied.

“A homeless old man who usually is seen on alleys asking for tips. He has good punches but has one leg crippled, perhaps he was a retired soldier.”

“Sadly I don’t recognise anyone similar to your description. What business do you have with such a person?”

I told him I was looking for a gun; no point in lying about it. He quite surprised me with his first words “I see, I see.” He didn’t ask many details. He just went to the back and after a few minutes, he came back with a gun and 7 bullets. Small enough to hide in my pocket but deadly like any other. It took a while, but I managed to load it and remove the safe. As I was leaving, he said some goodbye words.

“Be sure of what you are doing. You will initiate a dark path, one which doesn’t have a comeback. And if you decide to take that path, remember feeling remorse for the dead.”

Strange words but he was right about everything. Regardless of not finding the person I was looking for I got all the items I needed. There was only one thing to do. Fate was right about reuniting with the old man, but not the one I was expecting.

There was only want thing left to do, plan and infiltrate the bar. Before going back to the station, I took a detour to steal food from the trash cans in the alleys, and I headed back to my improvised base.

I started thinking on how to proceed. My life had no real meaning but I wouldn’t reach far if I were to die as soon as I entered. First I will wait until he is in to be sure not to miss. Nobody except for the thug could acknowledge who I was, so I could infiltrate disguised as a guest. Next I will wait until he shows his weak spot. To avoid eye on eye contact with him I won’t go straight and sudden moves were forbidden. Once we are face to face, I will waste the entire magazine on him. What would happen me next was a mystery but it would most likely be the end, it had been a short but nice life.

I still had time until night so I took time to write a short sentence on the wall with blood. It wasn’t mine of course, just the one from rats I hunted. “This is my goodbye, where I go, I won’t come back. I didn’t really disliked the way I lived until now.” In my head it looked pretty good but as the blood was falling down, it looked quite creepy. Now I had no way of cleaning it so I left it as it was.

After, I took the time to practice, loading the gun, aiming, unloading the gun, then repeating the process. Later on as night was closing in, I decided to start my last meal. Finished, I loaded the gun again, made sure everything was working properly, removed the safe and took everything that was important for the mission.

I went to the spot on the roof and waited minutes, long hours. Time was passing by and I was shivering; it was a cold night after all. He arrived finally with his smug careless face, of course he didn’t know what was about to happen next.

Shortly after, I descended the stairs and I was in front of the door, clenching my fist and trembling. I thought the shakes were due to the cold but I guess it was me. I don’t know why I was feeling like this, could it be that there was no point of return after this? Was it the rush of emotions?

Three bangs on the metallic door and the guardian asked the password. I repeated what was last time said, but he was persistent on not letting me in.

“How come I’ve never seen you here?” He asked with a rough, aggressive voice.

“I’m new here. My father sent me to do some business.”

“Then tell him to send someone of his age. Now get lost.”

I didn’t mind the age, but seems this place was strict. Despite his warning I was not running off. The well-mannered way was not working so I chose to turn aggressive all of a sudden.

“Listen here, you fucking cunt. I don’t have time to deal with you, shithead. I have business here and if you don’t let me progress I will make sure my father demands your fucking head. Now let me the fuck in.”

I managed to make him open the door but his cold stare sure wasn’t going to disappear. At first sight it was like any other bar with its chairs, barman and all different types of coloured drinks. Later on you would check the basement and the image changed, prostitution, drugs and weapons. You could almost breathe crime.

Anyway, it wasn’t the time to lose my mind, and it was essential to focus on finding him. Soon I found him, standing there, watching the stripper with his lustful eyes. I followed the main plan, the closer I was, the more sweaty I was becoming.

Once I was at his couch, I took the gun out. The last thing I saw on his face were those big open eyes. His death wasn’t a surprise. One shot after another until the whole magazine was in. “This is for Alwin and for the pain I suffered because of you.” Even if I no longer had bullets I continued pulling the trigger.

Seconds later it was a total madness, everyone screaming and running, stepping on each other to leave. Those who had a gun near decided to take it and shoot me without end. Bullets were penetrating me, one after another, it was painful. I wanted to cry so loud but my voice wasn’t reaching. I was on the ground when my mind left me and my surroundings were pitched.

I stood in this indescriptive place for quite long but then an intense light woke me up. I found myself in a comfortable bed, compared to my old house and the subway this was heaven. Everything was well decorated with what looked like expensive furniture. I couldn’t even imagine what brought me between these pink walls, but I was alive. Once again I refused death, and I chose to live.