Three days since the event and I was already starving to dead, even the smallest piece of bread had been stolen from my hands by the atrocious rats living in the same alley I was laying on. Couldn’t blame myself for what I did as what I had done was for freedom, but this feeling of doing whatever I wanted was something wonderful and at the same time something I was afraid of.

In the state I was, the wickedest thoughts were crossing my mind:

”I’m sure if I kill the rats, I will have something to eat.”

“A small steal won’t be neither bad.”

“N-no that's wrong.”

“Kill it’s necessary, do it...do it!!”

While these thoughts were filling my mind, I slowly aimed the shotgun in the direction of a cat which was passing by the alley. I couldn’t control myself as my mind and body were on their own and I didn’t see the animal as it was. It was the survival instinct which was moving me and that animal with cute expressions necessary to die so I could survive. I closed my eyes and heard the bullet being shot. Guessed this was it, what I was and became. Never imagined this side of me could be real. I found myself disgusted, however, this was in order to survive.

“The strongest survive while weak perish.”

All of a sudden I felt a soft fur and saw the cat meowing while licking my hands. I couldn’t do it, Was I really that weak?. Without food and water, I would die soon. Although for some reason I felt relief, peace with myself. This sudden change of thinking made me fear for a moment but later on, those things were gone now. After some deeply critical thoughts, I hugged the kitten, trying to heat and comfort him.

“We aren’t so different I guess, both of us have a hard living as nobody wants us.”

I fell asleep while a big smile was slowly covering my sadness. The next morning I woke up by the cat’s pats, hungrier than yesterday. Today I would have to find food no matter how or I would surely die and that wasn’t a real option for me. Along with the kitty, I crossed a few dark alleys before going across a butcher who was dumping the remainders of what it seemed to be a pig. Once the butcher was back inside we rushed to pick them and, even if the taste was awful, we managed to calm our hunger. Then I realized this was the first time I ever ate a fulfilling meal, back in the days I used to eat nothing more than a small piece of hard bread and a horrible soup.

Enjoying the situation I couldn’t spot the butcher behind me.

“What is going on here?! Get away from the meat!!”

A man on his thirties, kind of chubby, with a big nose and red from fury. I was sure that if he could he would be spitting fire from his mouth at any moment. With him in that state we immediately ran away, and although I could have shot him I didn’t. He started pursuing us for a long time but we managed to avoid him by hiding inside some old pipes.

Safe we both looked into our eyes and I couldn’t do resist myself from loudly laughing. This was the first time I ever had such fun and I really liked it.

“Wish this could stay forever, kitty,” I told him while patting his head.

“Miau.”

Later on, I came to think that he needed a proper name so I decided to call him Alwin, which, despite not being a great name, made him quite happy. Before leaving, I got rid of the shotgun leaving it in the pipe as I believed it was no longer useful and together we continued our way endless way.

However, this world had other plans for us and this happiness would no longer stay as I wished. Soon I would expect the real pain of losing my first and last friend all due to this sick twist world which only destroys.

Days flew by so fast as I was learning how stealthily move between the alleys and slums of the city. The problem with food, water and other important needs was resolved as I could simply sneak into the garbage of restaurants to feed myself, drink from park fountains to quench my thirst. Neither sleep and cold was a problem because I could take a nap on any alley or big pipe and to heat up I could simply use Alwin’s fur or any rag that I could steal.

Probably because of the fact that I was with Alwin or that I finally had a true freedom, I slowly started being happier than normal. Although I wished this happiness would stay for long it ended sooner than I expected.

On the 12 may of 1997, I once again and forever lost everything I cared about. I was doing my daily routine and it was time to grab something to eat when I heard a woman screaming. Following the continuous thunderous cry for help I rushed in and found out a young woman, twenty or so, short hair and half naked surrounded by thugs. It looked like a rape scene and I had to stop it.

My childish side deceived my eyes and thoughts so, like any superhero would do, I tried to defeat those punks. In spite of happening as I expected, it went exactly the opposite.

As soon as I hit the first one, he immediately turned around and with a single punch he knocked me out and his three friends started hitting me to death. I laughed because it was nothing compared to what my father used to do to me.

“Hey, what fuck is happenin’ with this dude?”

In the worst moment possible, Alwin appeared and started licking me.

“It seems he doesn’t care about him, kill the cat instead.”

I made all I could to stop him, however, everything was useless.

“Y-you fuckibg son o-of bidch, ged away frob hib.”

After a few swear words thrown at him, he turned around later and started stabbing me in the back repeatedly. At the same time his friends seemed to be afraid of his rampage and the woman, who I supposedly saved, paused him by hugging and kissing him. I couldn’t ask, neither move and my breath felt heavier than normal when he grabbed my face and made me look at the gruesome death of Alwin. He showed me how his friends cut Alwin, leaving his organs out. I felt angry, scared, I didn’t know how to act, unaware tears were scrolling through my beaten face.

“Ohh, now you are nothin’ boy. Don’t worry, you will meet him soon!”

Just when he was going to end my life, some cops popped out of the streets and the thugs ran away. I felt relieved, my guard angel wasn’t dead and saved me. I assumed they would understand and would help me out, however, it wasn’t the case. I agree they treated the fatal injuries I had but as soon as I recovered they started interrogating me for the death of my father and Alwin because I was a suspect of murder and animal cruelty.