Xaxac did not have a chance to talk to any of the fighters, because it was expressly forbidden. In fact, he hadn’t spoken to anyone from the time he had last talked to Alex for the rest of the day. Agalon watched him like a hawk and kept at least one hand on him at all times.

Xaxac had felt what magic could do, and this time he remembered it.

He remembered what it was like to have your entire body just stop working, though he didn’t understand how that worked.

And that memory made him realize that Alex was right about something else, too- it was good to be friends with scary people. Agalon was probably the best mage in the Agricultural District, and he loved Xac, and that protection made him feel safe on a day when he clung to the idea of safety.

Xaxac watched the fighters, as Agalon had instructed, but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be watching for. The only thing he really learned that might be of any use was that the people who didn’t get hit seemed to be the people who paid the most attention and kept moving. But that was something he thought he could have figured out on his own. Only a fool would stand there and let someone hit them.

So he did not feel particularly prepared as he stood on the field standing next to Wyatt and looking out over the crowd. The only person in it he drew any comfort from at all was Alex, who still sat in the front row with his master. The rest of the crowd did not seem to be expecting him at all; they were expecting Billy to fight again, which seemed strange to Xac, because even if he hadn’t attacked him, Billy would still have his broken ribs. But then again, Xac didn’t know how quickly magic or potions normally worked. Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he would have been in fighting shape again already.

But he didn’t think so.

He looked out over the sea of people holding signs with bulls drawn on them and frowned.

“Hey Wyatt?” he asked.

“Yeah?” Wyatt asked, and Xac glanced at Agalon, where he was standing with an earth elf he did not know, but whom he had seen in the stables, and was not looking at them.

“How do you win?” Xac asked.

“You don’t exactly win,” Wyatt explained, “You really just try not to lose. In the preliminaries, if you look like you can’t get up they start countin. If they get to ten and you’re still on the ground, you lost.”

Xac nodded, and Wyatt studied him.

“Hey,” he whispered, and Xac turned back to look at him, “Don’t be scared. Don’t do no good to get scared. First round’s ten minutes, every other round is five. You ain’t gotta stay up all night, you just gotta stay up for ten minutes, alright?”

“Oh,” Xaxac said, trying to process what he had just been told, and the fact that Wyatt was being unnecessarily nice to him, “Uh… thanks.”

“We gotta look out for each other,” Wyatt said, “you’re fast as a jackrabbit. Just don’t let him hit’cha. Just stay on your feet. Bob and weave. Protect your head with your hands. God damn, you’re so little you’ll be hard to hit anyway…” he frowned and repeated, “You’re so little.”

“Ladies and gentlemen!” the loud man echoed through the field, “Welcome to the final night of the Human Cage Fighting Regional Qualifiers for the Agricultural District, here at the beautiful Basilglen Arena! On this side, Duke Kailu Agalon!” He paused to wait for the crowd to quiet a little, then continued, “And on this side, our own Kharis Naeqirelle!”

Agalon and the other man stepped forward and shook hands, much to the delight of the crowd, then Agalon turned, pulled a piece of paper from his bag, and handed it to the loud man while he leaned in to whisper something to him.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” The loud man announced, “It seems we’ve had a last minute substitution! Due to an unfortunate, unforeseen accident, William “Billy the Bull” OfAgalon will not be available tonight-”

He had obviously meant to say more, but he could not be heard over the crowd. They did not speak as one voice, but the overall effect was unquestionably negative.

“This is bull-shit!”

“I paid to see the bull!”

“Billy! Billy! Billy!”

“Boooooooooo!”

Agalon winced as he walked back to his position by the door of the cage, and gave Xaxac a sympathetic look.

“Hey!” the loud man shrieked, “I’m gonna remind y’all that the Basilglen Arena and the Human Cage Fighting League of the Urillian Empire are unable to provide refunds at this time! And we’re still gonna put on a great show! So put your hands together for newcomer, Xaxac ‘The Rabbit’ OfAgalon!”

They did not.

As he stepped into the cage, Xaxac remembered that he had witnessed a crowd at its height, seen the good it could do, felt the way it could lift one up. It was a magical thing, to be in front of a crowd that loved you.

They hated him.

Many people still screamed the things they had before, hated him only because he was not Billy.

But some of them hated him because he was himself.

“He’s tiny!”

“What the hell is he supposed to do?”

“Little shit’s dressed like a butler.”

“Did Agalon just grab a servin boy to keep from forfeitin?”

“It’s gonna be a bloodbath!”

But the thing that made his blood boil was the laughter.

Those who were not booing were laughing. He could die, and apparently that was funny.

“Kick his ass, Foo Foo!”

Alex’s voice carried so well because Xac knew it, and he felt the tension leave his shoulders as he continued.

“Rip that fucker apart! Kill him, Xac! Whoop his ass! We got money ridin on this! Don’t let him smudge your makeup!”

Xac turned and saw that he had stood from his seat, had one hand cupped around his mouth, and in the other held a piece of watercolor parchment above his head.

On it he had painted the solid shape of a rabbit.

Xac smiled.

“And on this side,” the loud man continued, “Keith ‘The Viper’ OfNaeqirelle!”

Xaxac interpreted the hissing from the crowd to be a form of support.

“Are we all supposed to be named after animals?” Xac asked Agalon, who stood on the other side of the fence by the door.

“Darlin, pay attention,” Agalon advised, “They call him that ‘cause he’s quick. He strikes. Don’t let him hit you.”

A bell rang out so loudly it echoed in Xac’s head, and he threw his hands over his ears, but kept his eyes on the Viper.

“Hey, quick question,” the Viper asked, walking back and forth as his eyes roamed up and down Xac’s body, “What the hell? Who’s kid is this?” He paused, his eyes widened, and he laughed. “Are you wearin makeup? You look like a pleasure slave.”

“I am!” Xac snapped.

“That there was my joke guess. You wanna come over here and suck my dick?” The Viper asked and laughed again. “What happened? Your master have to grab somebody at random and he’s willin to lose you?”

“Billy got hurt,” Xac said, trying to walk at the same pace.

“Well, hold still, little boy,” the viper suggested, “I’ll make this quick. Knock you on your back like you’re used to and we can get outta here.”

“Wait,” Xac said as it occurred to him, “You… you want me to think bein a pleasure slave is bad? You’re… tryin to get me to think stuff… darlin, that ain’t gonna work. You’re… oh my god, you’re jealous! Look at me!” he threw his arms open to indicate his body.

“Xaxac!” Agalon snapped, “Keep your guard up! Move!”

“I’m adorable!” Xaxac giggled, “I’m a cute little bunny! You look like somebody killed you yesterday and forgot to tell ya! God, I hate beards so much, you walkin around out here lookin’ like a sasquatch. Step into the cage lookin like you’re late for work. What happened to your face? How’d you get scars? There ain’t nothin in here to get cut with.”

“Stop talking!” Agalon yelled.

“See how pretty you are after this!” The Viper yelled, and Xaxac remembered that he was supposed to be fighting for his life. He drew back into himself and bounced as the Viper lunged for him, dancing backwards. The Viper was faster than Billy, and rounded easily, so Xac bounced backwards again and wondered why his brain wasn’t taking the situation more seriously.

It didn’t seem real, the flurry of fists coming at him, it seemed… funny. It seemed like a joke. And he didn’t understand why, because Xaxac had never had reason to learn about denial or delirium, as concepts, so it did not seem natural to him that everything was playing out, not as if he was part of it, but as if he was back outside the cage, watching someone else, someone he didn’t particularly care about, so that he did not have much personal stake in the match.

“Don’t back up!” Agalon yelled, “Get outta the corner! Don’t get cornered! Move, Honey Bunny!”

Xac’s back hit the wall and he heard the metal links rattling together.

He should care about this, he was sure of it.

It was much more difficult to bob and weave with his back pressed against the wall.

And there was nowhere else to hop to.

The first blow hit him full in the face so hard his head bounced back and hit the post keeping the fence together. As the back of his head connected with the post his vision was barraged with a series of flashing lights and he lost sight of the Viper, did not see his hands, and therefore did not expect the next hit, which slammed into the side of his head and knocked him against the cage. He heard something crack and tasted blood.

He only had time to form the thought ‘If that’s another tooth I swear to god’ before he was hit again, this time in the chin from the bottom up, and it knocked him upwards and off his feet.

He didn’t understand why it didn’t hurt, why none of it seemed real.

It made no sense.

He slid down the post and hit the floor, slumped forward, grabbed the grass with one hand and his face with the other.

Why wouldn’t it hurt?

It needed to hurt.

There was something wrong with him.

He should care about this. He should be in pain. He was sure of it.

He opened his mouth to say as much and watched the blood drip onto the grass.

Focus.

“Darlin, get up!” Agalon screamed, “Get up, you’re fine! You’re fine, you heal!”

Xac turned to look at him and was confused by what he saw there. Agalon was trying to seem calm, confident- but there was fear in his eyes. Why was there fear in his eyes? He was the alpha buck. What was he afraid of?

What was an alpha buck?

Who was counting? And why?

Xac shoved himself to his feet and grabbed his jaw in both hands.

Hurt!

It should hurt!

It needed to hurt!

“Hit me!” he screamed, and wondered why he could scream. Shouldn’t his jaw be broken? Shouldn’t it hurt?

The Viper had turned to look at the crowd, and he seemed startled to hear Xac’s voice.

“Hit me!” Xac demanded, “I can’t… I can’t feel it! I can’t feel anything! Hit me! It should hurt!”

The Viper shrugged.

“Alright.”

“Shit,” Wyatt told Agalon, “He’s-”

“Disassociating,” Agalon said as if he was finishing Wyatt’s thought, but he was not. Wyatt didn’t know what that word meant, but it apparently meant a lot to Agalon. He turned, trying to see the giant clock that took up most of the courthouse. “He’s almost… round’s about over…”

“Xaxac!” Agalon snapped, “Right now! Obey me right now! Tell me five things you can see!”

But Xaxac wasn’t listening to him, he had collapsed again, not because he was in pain, but because his legs had given out, for apparently no good reason, and it was so funny it was almost like being drunk, so he hauled himself onto his hands and knees and began to laugh. It wasn’t like any of it was real. It was a play, on a stage, far away, and happening to someone else. And it was hilarious, in that slapstick kind of way, and the rest of the audience was enjoying it as well. They were cheering.

“Xac!” Agalon begged as Xaxac fell against the side of the cage trying to contain his laughter.

He held up a hand as the Viper lunged at him, in an attempt to catch his breath.

“Hold on!” Xac begged, cackling.

“You done lost your mind,” the viper said, “You’re crazy.”

The boy smiled up at him and the blood dripped from his mouth as he cackled with something dancing behind those big brown eyes that the viper did not understand.

“Oh, darlin,” Xac laughed, “I’m a lunatic!” He looked around at the corner he had backed himself into and began to sing, “Rabbit whatcha sittin in the corner for? Ain’t gonna rain no more no more. Rained last night and the night before. Ain’t gonna rain no more.”

The Viper took a step back as Xac stood and tilted his head, sticking his tongue around his mouth, checking for cracked teeth.

“Darlin,” Xac said, “I reckon your broke my jaw. But it’s ok. I heal.”

“Honey Bunny!” Agalon yelled, “Five things! Tell me five things you see!”

“I see…” Xac touched his fingertips to his lip, “Blood…”

“Keep goin,” Agalon said.

“On my shirt…” Xac said, “second outfit in two days.”

This series of observations seemed to do something to the Viper. He had backed away and was studying Xac again.

“These fuckers,” Xac said, indicating the crowd, and as he spoke the ringing in his ears began to slowly fade.

“That guy,” Xac said, indicating the viper, “the one what… hit me… in my face.”

His jaw ached.

His jaw ached, and it was real, and he felt it. He felt the blood in his veins, the chill in the air, the pain in his torso. He heard the roar of the crowd in the arena. He saw the viper pacing, in real time.

He felt the pain.

“How does it feel out here tonight, darlin?” Agalon asked.

“It’s cold,” Xac said.

A bell rang out in the night.