《The White Rabbit》Book 2: Chapter 9

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“When you really look at it real close,” Lorsan slurred, “Not just the book, but… all’uv it… it just starts soundin like bullshit, don’t it?”

“You’re thinkin too much,” Xaxac said.

He was lying with his head in Lorsan’s lap as Lorsan squinted in an attempt to make the three books in front of him condense into one, but he gave up quickly, closed the one in the middle and watched the after images follow suite, then attempted to throw it all together onto the coffee table in the middle, but missed so spectacularly he hit one of the unopened wine bottles and sent them crashing to the floor, which was terribly funny, so Xac began to laugh.

“It’s fine,” Lorry assured him and ran a hand through his hair, “You’re so soft.”

“Hell yeah, I am,” Xac agreed and turned to stare into the fire burning in the fireplace, “without the beard I’m cute, too.”

“I like your beard,” Lorsan argued and ran his hand over his face to feel the texture, “It ain’t as soft though. You look more human, more like a primate.”

“We’re the best ones,” Xac said proudly, “That’s what everybody says.”

“I can see that,” Lorsan agreed, “Hey Xac?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Lorsan said, “For a… bunch of reasons. You saved me. And you… make it not boring, I mean, not as boring as it could be. I hate it here.”

“I don’t get that,” Xac said in genuine confusion, “You’re an elf. It’s weird that y’all can even get mad. You got everythin. An’ all the time in the world… one day Ima be dead, and everybody I know’ll be dead, and it’ll be like none’a it ever happened. I’ll be dead by forty… did you say I was fifteen? That’s… twenty five years.”

“You probably won’t be,” Lorsan said, “Where’d you get that? Humans can live to be sixty or seventy if you take care of um.”

“Not on account’a I’m human,” Xaxac clarified, feeling so comfortable he thought he may fall asleep where he lay with Lorsan playing with his hair, “cause I’m a pleasure slave. We don’t live that long. Not once we quit bein young an’ cute.” He reached up and ran a hand over his face, in thought, “I gotta get ridda this beard a’fore Aggie gets back.”

“I told ya’,” Lorsan said, “Come an’ work fer me. You ain’t gotta… I don’t like that.”

“I don’t wanna work no more,” Xac said, “I don’t wanna go back. Workin’s awful. I wanna just lay drunk all the time. I like it. I don’t wanna think about nothin.”

“I don’t wanna work either,” Lorsan agreed, “I don’t wanna be in the stupid military… I don’t wanna do nothin… let’s run away.”

“That ain’t a thing,” Xaxac giggled.

“Yeah it is,” Lorsan said, “Like the adventure stories, the… we can run away and be pirates.”

“What’s a pirate?” Xaxac asked.

“Thieves, on the water,” Lorsan said.

“I don’t wanna be a thief,” Xac snuggled further into his lap, “I’m good right here.”

“Xac?” Lorsan asked.

“Mm?”

“Did it hurt when they branded ya? When they put that symbol on your neck?”

“I can’t remember,” Xac slurred, “I was real little.”

“It didn’t heal,” Lorsan said, “It had to be deep.”

“Yeah, I reckon.” Xac said, “I’m a shifter. I heal from most stuff. Grew my teeth back. You reckon they’ll grow into my eyes?”

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“Nah.”

Xaxac had a strong desire to sit up, because he heard someone moving in the hallway, but it did not overpower his desire to stay exactly where he was in perfect comfort, not even once the door opened.

“I’m dead!” Agalon announced as he drug himself into the room, and Xaxac looked up at the clock in an attempt to determine the current time, but it wouldn’t stay still long enough.

“Aggie!” he begged as Agalon took off his traveling cloak and threw it over the chair of the writing desk.

“Hey, daddy,” Lorsan said, leaned forward to pick up the open wine bottle, then leaned back to take a long drink.

“I’m happy to see you’re still here,” Agalon said, as if he really was shocked.

“Aggie!” Xac demanded again and used the back of the couch to haul himself into a sitting position, “I missed you so much! I wanna… I wanna…”

Agalon chuckled and held him by the face to steady him.

“You’re shitfaced, Honey Bunny,” he giggled, “And we gotta get this mess off your face. You look like a damn sasquatch.”

“Aggie I missed you!” Xaxac threw his arms around him and snuggled into his chest, “E’rbody’s gone! We been all alone! I don’t wanna be like this! I wanna go with you! Let’s go to bed!”

“Why are there crates in the sitting room?” Agalon asked without much energy.

“Cause I got sick,” Xac said to his chest, because he did not know Agalon had directed this question to Lorsan.

“You got sick?” Agalon asked in that cold, practical way he sometimes had.

“I told you that,” Lorsan huffed.

“You didn’t tell me that,” Agalon argued, “You been taking care of him?”

“It’s what I do,” Lorsan spread his arms as if he was attempting to bask in the admiration of a crowd.

“He eat somethin he wouldn’t supposed to?” Agalon asked.

“I don’t reckon the housekeeper likes him,” Lorsan said, leaned forward in an attempt to pick the holy book up off the floor, and partially succeeded, but then fell off the couch himself and lost his grip. Xaxac did not think this was a particularly noteworthy thing to do, but apparently Agalon did, because he screamed.

“Lorry!” he shrieked, as if he had been overcome by a rage and ripped free from Xaxac’s grip.

“Aw shit,” Lorsan slurred

“Lorry!” Agalon screamed again as Xaxac turned to follow his movements and watched him reach into the fire.

“Aggie!” Xac yelled , grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

“He threw the Holy Texts into the fire!” Agalon explained, “Goddamn it, Lorry, what the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t I be in my own goddamn house for five minutes before I gotta deal with constant bullshittery? Why is it one thing after another with you!? What the hell is actually wrong with you?”

Xaxac didn’t feel much of anything when he was drunk, so as Agalon went on this tirade, he did not feel his flesh sizzle and pop as he reached into the fire and pulled out the book. He did smell it, and the scent turned his stomach.

“Xaxac!” Lee shouted as he entered the room carrying luggage with Jimmy quick on his heels, “What are you doing? That’s on fire! Throw it down!”

“Oh god,” Jimmy said, “Not you too. Xac I… I can’t… I…”

He burst into tears and ran from the room in what Xaxac would have called an overreaction, had he not been prone to bouts of unprompted crying himself, so instead he found himself simply wondering what was wrong with him.

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“Drop it!” Agalon commanded, so Xaxac dropped the book onto the hearth, and Agalon continued in the same stern tone, “Go put your hand in cool water! Now!”

Xac attempted to do that, but as it often did when he was very drunk, the ground decided to tilt, warble, and attack.

“Lee, get him!” Agalon commanded, and Xac turned to see that he was stomping the book on the hearth, in his good traveling boots, probably in an attempt to put it out. Xaxac thought of all this in a detached sort of way, and simply allowed Lee to help him to his feet, and lead him to the basin.

“That was a good idea, Xac,” Lee said when they were out of earshot, “Sorry I hollered at you. It’s been a long trip. I didn’t see what you was doin. I’m wore out.”

“I heal,” Xac said.

“I know,” Lee said, “It was a good idea. Keep your hand in the water, though, for me, ok? I gotta go find Jimmy.”

“He’s been thinkin too much,” Xac said helpfully.

“Yeah,” Lee agreed, and left the room.

Xaxac left his hand in the cool water and watched the flesh on it change. He hadn’t burned any of it off, he hadn’t been in the fire very long. But some of it had changed texture a little, and it took it no time to set itself to rights. He didn’t think he would get up, though, because he was afraid he would be sick, and Agalon was still angry about whatever it was he had been angry about before.

This wasn’t what Xac wanted. He was so tired of anger, of yelling, of negativity.

“Aggie!” he yelled.

“You alright, darlin?” Agalon asked.

“I missed you!” Xaxac begged, “Can we go to bed? I wanna…” his voice caught and he realized he was crying when he continued, “Please don’t be mad! I asked him to read it to me! It’s my fault! He’s drunk too!” He tried to catch his breath before he went on, “I missed you so much! Please don’t fight! I was so worried… I didn’t… don’t… want you to see me like this… I gotta… gotta shave… can Lee shave me?”

“You are drunk,” Agalon said, but Xaxac could tell by the way he spoke this comment was directed at Lorsan, not him, “Lorry, you gotta be more careful. That… that runs in our family. You’re too little to be this drunk.”

“Oh fuck you,” Lorsan snarled, hauling himself to his feet and pointing in his father’s face, “You don’t know shit about shit, and that bitch over there,” he pointed at Xaxac, “Don’t didn’t start shit! You just don’t know! You don’t even know, and you can go to fuck yourself!”

“Let’s get you to bed,” Agalon suggested as he set the charred book on the coffee table.

“Don’t you touch me!” Lorsan said, and declared as if it made perfect sense, “I’m gonna room myself!” before turning on his heel far more quickly than he likely anticipated, and falling forward, onto the armrest of the sofa, so it seemed, for an instant, as if he may catch himself, but he was not so well coordinated and went spiraling to the floor instead.

“Thesis’s glowing eyes,” Agalon huffed, bent down, and picked up his son as if was still a child, holding him on his hip, “Let’s get you to bed. I’m wore out, Lorry. Daddy don’t need this right now.”

“You pu’ me down!” Lorsan demanded, and attempted to struggle, but he wasn’t coordinated enough to do much.

“Why’re you this drunk?” Agalon asked, eyeing the two empty bottles on the table, “Did I raise a lightweight… You can’t get this shitfaced, Lorry,” he explained as he left the room, “This’ll turn into a problem.”

Xaxac pulled his hand out of the water, looked at it, and saw that it had completely healed. He thought that he was no longer as drunk as he would like to be, but that worked in his favor, because he thought that while Agalon was putting his son to bed, he might be able to find Jimmy and ask him why he had been crying. Xaxac was still drunk enough for this to be a fine, commendable idea, a perfectly good idea, but not so drunk that he was completely unable to walk, so he stood and walked out of the sitting room as if he had every right in the world to do so, and put his dry hand on the wall of the hall to steady himself.

He heard Agalon fussing with Lorsan, who was apparently still trying to fight him, coming from behind one closed door, but that wasn’t the voice he was looking for, so he ignored it.

Then he heard the particularly loud noise of a slap and followed it to the guest rooms where Alex had once stayed. He picked up on the conversation long before he reached the door, and not for the first time, he wondered if perhaps rabbits had exceptionally good hearing.

“-need to calm down, or you’ll wind up in the same boat,” Lee was saying.

“I wanna be with them,” Jimmy explained as if it was the most logical thing in the world, “I wanna… it’s my wife! My youngun!”

“Don’t talk that kind of foolishness,” Lee warned.

“She got past Basilglen!” Jimmy argued, “She almost made it! She was halfway to Seaweed! She almost made it! She was so close! She was pregnant! She was fucking pregnant! It’s my baby! The baby didn’t do nothin! How could they-”

There was the sound of another slap and Xaxac paused with his hand on the doorknob, trying to process what he was hearing.

“Stop it!” Lee demanded, “Stop it now! You can’t keep doing this! You pull yourself together!”

“I don’t want to pull myself together!” Jimmy snapped, “I wanna fall apart! I got a right to fall apart! I ain’t together! I… I want to be together! I’m gonna go after her! Gonna go after them!”

Another slap.

“Hit me again old man!” Jimmy laughed, and Xaxac didn’t understand his sudden change in mood, “Hit me again and I’ll hit you back! Xac had the right idea! End it with fire! I’ll go up in a blaze and I’ll take this whole fuckin house down with me!” His laughter grew louder, and it was a strange laugh, the kind Xac had never heard before, and it scared him, so he finally spoke.

“Jimmy?” he asked, “You ok?”

The door flew open and Jimmy tackled him, and there was no reason for it, and it happened so quickly he had no time to process the difference between standing and being on the ground, and he didn’t understand why he couldn’t breath, didn’t connect it to Jimmy’s hands around his throat.

“Come on, Xac!” Jimmy snarled, “Let’s go together. We both love… loved… love her! Let’s do it tonight! Let’s take them with us!”

By the end of this exchange, Xaxac managed to connect his lack of air to the hands around his neck, and he didn’t appreciate it at all, so he batted Jimmy’s hands away and thew his legs around his waist like he did when Agalon was on top of him, then rolled them both over until he managed to pin Jimmy under him. He grabbed both his wrists and held him there, which was apparently the funniest thing Jimmy had ever encountered, because he began to laugh so hard and with so much gusto that he could not draw breath.

Xac didn’t like it. He didn’t like the look in his eyes. He had never seen it before, but it scared him.

“Get him in here before Agalon sees him!” Lee demanded, but Xaxac didn’t know how to do that, so he simply stood and let Lee drag Jimmy, still convulsing with laughter, back into the room.

Lee slammed the door hard, and when Xaxac tried to turn the knob, he found it locked.

The ridiculousness of the situation hit him hard enough to knock a little sobriety into him, so backed away until he hit the opposite wall, then made his way quickly back to the sitting room to await Agalon’s return.

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