Xaxac had more or less calmed down by the time he heard the key in the lock the second time. Alex apparently had the same opinion about drinking that Xac did, and together they had finished two bottles of wine during their time together. Xac looked much better with his face redone, and he sincerely believed that no one could tell that he had been crying.

The room teetered and swam every time he moved, which was hilarious but disorienting, so Alex put a hand on his chest to steady him, but he wasn’t particularly steady himself so the gesture had very little effect.

“Yeah they got all kinds of stuff,” Alex continued, though Xac could not, for the life of him, remember what he was referencing, “It ain’t just the fighters, they got other fights too, bull fights, cock fights, any kinda critter fight. And they got horse tricks and whatnot, games, dancin, it’s a good time. You’ll like it once the season starts. I’ll probably see you there.”

“Agalon said I was gonna fuck the fighters,” Xac said, “they’re so big…”

“They aggravate me,” Alex said in what he thought was agreement.

“Who aggravates you, darlin?” Kyrtarr asked as he led Agalon into the room.

“Them cage fighters,” Alex explained, “Aggravate the hell outta me. I get a bruise on the back of my throat for a damn week.”

“I talked to them about bein too rough with you,” Kyrtarr said as if he also considered this an aggravation.

“Looks like y’all are gettin along,” Agalon walked to the back of the couch, leaned over it, and kissed Xaxac on the cheek, earning him a giggle.

“I like him,” Xac explained as Agalon took off his cape and threw it over the back of the chair at the writing desk, “He’s smart!”

“He is smart,” Kyrtarr bragged, “One of the smartest humans I’ve ever seen. Mind like a steel trap. You know what it is? I read to him.”

“Does he like that?” Agalon asked as if the idea was strange, “That don’t bore him to death? Does he understand it?”

“I think he understands most of it,” Kyrtarr said, “I mean, they make books for kids, Kai.”

“I like the beastiary,” Alex stood and Xac watched him stumble as he tried to make it to the hall.

“Where you goin, darlin?” Kyrtarr asked him.

“I wanna show Xac the pictures what I made,” Alex stumbled into the door and grabbed it for support, “About that book you read me.”

“Honey, you’re drunk as hell,” Kyrtarr came up behind him and put one hand on his shoulder and the other on the small of his back, “Sit down.”

“What’s he wearin?” Agalon asked, “I like that.”

“That’s called a ‘kimono’,” Kyrtarr said proudly, “Got it on the water continent. That’s what them water elves used to wear. Pretty, ain’t it?”

“It’s made of bugs!” Alex proclaimed.

“It ain’t made of bugs,” Kyrtarr corrected, “it’s made of cocoons.”

“Ain’t that a bug?” Alex asked.

“No,” Xac giggled.

“Let me get us some more wine,” Kyrtaar said and disappeared into the hallway. At the sound of the bell the mustached man came out of the bedroom and went to join him, so Xac thought it would have been easier for him to have just hollered from the sitting room.

Agalon positioned Xac until he could sit next to him and Xac leaned against him.

“I’m glad you’re doin alright, darlin,” Agalon told him, “I was a little scared you’d have a hard time. I know how you are.”

“I like Alex!” Xac said, then added, “Except he don’t believe me! He thinks I ain’t a shifter.”

“I think you think you’re a shifter,” Alex said.

“He is a shifter,” Agalon said, “I seen it. He’s a big ol’ bunny rabbit.”

Xac stuck out his tongue, though Alex was still not convinced and obviously not impressed.

“That ain’t even a thing,” Alex said, “You’d be a wolf or a wildcat or something. What good does it do you to be a rabbit?”

“Bunnies are cute,” Xac argued.

“I guess. All I know about um is they get in the field and eat up all the tobacco and piss Ky off real good.” Alex shrugged.

“Oh, I heard about that,” Agalon said sympathetically, “Ky! You ever get rid of them rabbits?”

“Hell no, ain’t no gettin rid of um!” Ky decreed as he strode back into the room, “I tried every goddamn thing. I got me one of them new metal fences, they bury them sons-a-bitches two food deep and I’ll be goddamned if them little shits didn’t chew through it. I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do. They’ve eat half my cash crop. I’ve called in hunters, I’ve put out poison, I’ve put up magic wards that really oughta kill um deader than hell, I’ve took dogs out tryin to find the warren so I could cast a poison spell like down in it and wipe um out. Nothin works. I don’t know what the hell to do. Gonna cost me a fortune.”

“The dogs won’t hunt?” Agalon asked, “You can’t find the warren?”

“Can’t find shit,” Kyrtaar huffed as the mustached man appeared with more wine and began to fill glasses, “they gotta be around here somewhere.”

“I got some hounds I can lend you,” Agalon offered, “When I get back I’ll send um over.”

“I’ll sure as hell take um because they done destroyed half the ‘baccer field. I can take you out in the mornin and show you.” Kyrtaar said.

Agalon pulled his cigarette case from his traveling pouch, took one out, took the matches and offered the case to Xaxac who selected a cigarette and handed back the case. Kyrtaar leaned down to push the ashtray toward them.

“At least you’ll get a good price for what’s left,” Agalon said as he struck a match then held it out for Xaxac.

“If there’s anything left,” Kyrtaar huffed, “We didn’t have a bad enough winter. There’s a lot of pests this year.”

“I got mice,” Agalon said after he exhaled a cloud of smoke, “In the damn storehouse. Cats are givin it their damndest, but you’re right. Wouldn’t a bad enough winter.”

This seemed to settle the matter, and Xaxac began to wonder when he stopped thinking about that sort of thing. He hadn’t thought about pest control, or anything having to do with field work in recent memory, but he knew that for most of his life he had thought about it all the time. They were supposed to take care of the fields. They were the ones who got in trouble when pests destroyed crops. But he wasn’t part of that ‘they’ anymore.

“So you like this new feller, Alex?” Kyrtarr asked.

“He’s alright when he ain’t talkin out his head,” Alex teased.

“He is a shifter, Alex,” Agalon said.

“That’s crazier than hell,” Kyrtarr said as if it was a compliment, “I’d pay to see that.”

“Not till I get him trained,” Agalon said with great practicality, “It is amazin, but he gets so scared so easy and he’s so big he could hurt somebody.”

“I don’t wanna hurt nobody!” Xac pleaded, “I’m sorry.”

“Honey Bunny, hush,” Agalon draped an arm around him and squeezed, “It ain’t your fault. It’s my fault. It ain’t never gonna happen again. I’m gonna watch you better.”

Xaxac squirmed to bury his face in Agalon’s chest.

“He don’t like to talk about it,” Agalon sighed, “He gets like this. Here, Honey Bunny, come on, don’t think about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Xac whispered.

“Here, sit up, go play with Alex, that’ll make you feel better.” Agalon suggested, though Xac didn’t understand what the suggestion meant. He was far too old to play with anyone.

“I told you you think too much,” Alex said sympathetically as he laid a hand gently on Xaxac’s arm and tugged, “Yeah, come here, I’ll make you feel better.”

Xaxac allowed Alex to position him whereever he wanted. He was too drunk to think properly, and it was taking everything in him to keep thoughts in his head. The most pressing was the idea that he absolutely could not start crying again, and it was taking every ounce of willpower he had to remember why.

Then Alex took his face in both hands, leaned in, and kissed him.

He kissed him the way Agalon kiss him, kissed him like he loved him, and the cloud of darkness that sometimes came over Xaxac began pressing down upon him. He didn’t have to figure out why this time. He knew. It was because Alex kissed him like he loved him, but he very clearly didn’t love him, so Xac pushed him away, much more fiercely than he had meant to, and Alex, already unsteady, went topping off the couch.

“Xaxac!” Agalon admonished.

“Hey, what the hell?” Alex asked.

“Sorry!” Xac begged as the full weight of what he had done came crashing into his alcohol soaked brain. Smile. Look pretty. Be good. Do what they say.

“How the hell are you that strong?” Alex asked as Kyrtarr helped him to his feet. He didn’t actually seem angry, he seemed impressed.

“I’m sorry,” Xac begged, “You scared me! I get scared real easy!”

“He does,” Agalon held out a hand in offering, “I’m sorry, Ky, he gets scared around new folks.”

“He’s alright,” Kyrtaar said, “Ain’t you, Alex.”

“I’m fine,” Alex said, dragging out the i in the last word, “I’m gonna have another drink and sit on the rug by the fire and Xac’s gonna come with me where he can’t knock nobody down.”

“Alex, I’m sorry,” Xac begged.

“You gotta learn how to act,” Alex said, “You don’t know nothin, that’s all that’s wrong with you. You’re new.”

He said this all in a tone that implied Xaxac was embarrassing him. His body wasn’t hurt, his pride was. Xaxac expected that if they were left alone again he would have a lot more to say. So he hopped up from the couch and when the room spun around him he held out his arms to steady himself.

“Thesis,” Alex sighed, “Come on, darlin.”

He tugged Xac to him and allowed him to lean on him for support. When he was close enough he leaned in to whisper in his ear as lowly as he could.

“Quit. Just relax. I ain’t gonna hurt you. They’re gonna expect us to put on a show. Don’t be hittin me again or I’ll hit you back.”

“I’m sorry,” Xac said as he allowed Alex to lead him down to the carpet.

Alex took his cigarette from him and ashed the sizeable amount that had gathered in the time since Xac had last taken a drag, held it to his lips and inhaled so deeply Xac watched the paper burn away before Alex flicked the butt into the ashtray. He held The smoke in his lungs for a moment, and when he exhaled it came out in rings.

“How’d you do that?” Xac asked in awe.

“I’d show you but I ain’t got another cigarette,” Alex said and instead handed Xac his glass.

“I’m sorry about that,” Agalon said, and Xaxac noticed he had scooted down to be able to more easily talk to Kyrtaar where he sat in the chair.

“He’s alright,” Kyrtaar said dismissively, “he’ll get over that eventually. How long have you had him?”

“It ain’t been a month yet,” Agalon said, “I probably shouldn’t have taken him out this early but I didn’t want to leave him there with Lorry. That boy’s gonna be the death of me.”

“Don’t look at them,” Alex whispered, “don’t even think about them. Just look at me, ok? I’m gonna walk you through this. Everythin is gonna be alright.”

Xac nodded.

Night had fully fallen and the moons were waning outside, still fairly large and round in the night sky. No one had lit the lamps in the room, and the soft, natural light put him more at ease. He felt more comfortable in the dark.

“I’m really sorry I pushed you,” he whispered.

“Don’t do it again, ok?” Alex asked as he set down his glass and held Xac’s head in both hands.

“Do you… like me?” Xac asked in confusion.

“Yeah, you’re alright,” Alex shrugged, closed the distance between them, and kissed him again.

This time Xac had the sense not to fight. He just let Alex position him and maneuver with him until he found himself lying on his back on the rug. He didn’t see all the little things Alex did, the way he moved Xaxac’s glass to the mantle of the fire so they wouldn’t spill it, the way he closed Xaxc in to one position on the rug so he wouldn’t move and hurt himself with the burn, the way he braced the coffee table with his forearm so they wouldn’t move it and disturb anything on it. Xaxac did not know how much practice he had had.

When Alex pulled away to look down at him he smiled in the soft light and it was beautiful.

“Much better,” he praised as he began to unbutton Xac’s shirt.

“How are you doin that?” Xac asked, “I can’t do shit when I’m drunk.”

“It ain’t easy,” Alex admitted, “You need some less complicated clothes.”

“I’m gonna take him to Sakala in Basilglen,” Agalon told Kyrtaar, and it seemed strange to Xac that he was just going to carry on a conversation while he did… whatever he was doing with Alex.

Alex gave up and tried to tug the shirt over Xac’s head, which required quite a bit of effort from both of them, but through the power of teamwork, they were able to eventually achieve their goal. As they both struggled to get him out of his pants Xac made a conscious effort, tried to will his brain, even now in its most stupid state with most of his thoughts lost behind a cloud, to remember that Alex was right: If he was going to keep doing this he needed some more simple clothes which were easier to get in and out of. Alex was right, the robe that just tied together was the way to go. Once they had Xaxac undressed he watched Alex just untie it and discard it. It took less than a second and was easily done even if your body wouldn’t do exactly what you wanted it to.

He was cute under the robe too, but in a completely different way than the fighters or even Agalon. Xaxac didn’t particularly want to have sex with him, but he wanted to be him. He wanted lyth, lean muscles under soft, smooth unbroken skin. He wanted to learn how to move like Alex did as he leaned over on his knees to search through the pockets of the robe, so graceful and able to tilt like that without falling even though he had to be as drunk as Xac was. He wanted to know how to be what he was, how to do what he did. He was the embodiment of the word ‘cute’, had somehow deconstructed it, figured out exactly what it was, and mastered it.

Alex was good at this, and he was going to live.

Alex was a survivor.

He found what he had been looking for, and when he held it up, Xac noticed that his fingernails sparkled in the moonlight. He wondered how he did that.

He was holding a bottle almost exactly like the one Agalon used on him at home, and Xac knew what it was for, now.

Alex hummed as he dribbled it into the palm of his hand then set the bottle on the mantelpiece, and Xac leaned back into the rug, took deep breaths, and willed himself to relax. This part was fun. This was going to be fun. This was time for fun.

He arched up when Alex touched him and set the electricity shooting from his dick up his spine, and grabbed at him when he crawled on top of him. He slid his hands from Alex’s shoulders to the back of his neck and felt the change in texture there. Alex’s brand felt different, it was a different shape from his own, a different shape from anyone he had ever met before, and somewhere in his drowned brain he thought that meant something, but right now it wasn’t important at all. All that mattered was the weight of Alex over him, the way he was touching him.

Alex leaned down on him to press another fierce kiss to his lips and drew his hand away for a moment- Xac thought he knew what was coming next, but he was wrong.

There was nothing inside him, even though he had prepared himself, spread his legs and opened himself up in anticipation.

Instead, Alex ground down against him, holding him down and writhing in top of him, and Xac broke the kiss to moan. After a few seconds of this, Alex changed tactics, reached between them, and held both of them there, firmly in one hand. Xac tried to match his time, tried to buck up against him, and thought that whatever this was, he enjoyed it. He liked it. He liked this. Whenever he had sex, or any kind of… whatever this was, it was as if everything else fell away for those few moments, all that negativity that tried to push him down, all the anxiety, all the worries that plagued him. He wasn’t a shifter, he wasn’t a slave, he wasn’t even human, he was just here, just a bundle of nerves to experience the physical sensation.

He felt his body tense, the world went white around him, and there was a low humming sensation in his ears.

Alex was sitting next to him on the rug, drinking a glass of wine, and when the humming finally faded and reality came crashing back to him, he heard the sound of Agalon’s voice.

“Well, it’s been a long trip and I should probably get him to bed.”

“Lube’s in the nightstand,” Kyrtarr explained helpfully.

“Goodnight, Xacy-boy,” Alex smiled, “I bet I’ll see you at breakfast.”

“Goodnight,” Xac whispered as Agalon picked him up, and he snuggled into his chest as he carried him off to bed.