《The White Rabbit》Chapter 14
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Xac sat sipping his wine on the little raised area along the edge of the tub so that the water only covered his waist, with his back to Agalon, who was working the prettiest smelling suds into his hair, the kind of thing he had never known existed. It smelled like a rose garden, and even the bottle was beautiful; he couldn’t read the text, but the label had roses growing along the edges like ivy on a lattice.
Agalon had more soaps, bottles, creams, and tinctures than Xac could possibly have ever gone through, and as he saw them lined up neatly in little rows in the bathroom cabinets he thought of the ones he had kept in his room upstairs. He wondered what they all did.
He liked the feeling of Agalon’s nails against his scalp and leaned back against him. His glass was empty, but he wasn’t nearly as warm and floaty as he normally was. He was starting to understand that some wines tasted slightly different, and some took longer than others to feel the full effect of. He liked the ones that worked faster better, even if they didn’t always taste as good.
“I want some more,” he said, to let Agalon know he would be leaning forward, but the grip in his hair tightened, stopping him in his tracks.
“How about you don’t get full blow drunk for a little bit?” Agalon said softly, “You’re hittin that pretty hard. I want to show you some stuff tonight.” He considered for a moment and continued, “I mean, also it probably ain’t great to be shitfaced around water. Can you even swim? I’m pretty sure humans can swim.”
“I think I can!” Xac said, “I mean I used to bath at the pond with everybody and I never had no trouble. I kinda like it. I ain’t been swimmin in a while.”
“Well, you can go dunk yourself,” Agalon splashed his hands in the sweet smelling water to rinse them, then took the glass from Xac and sat it on the tile beside the tub.
Xac pushed himself forward and underwater into the deeper part of the tub and worked his hands through his hair to rinse it. He thought Agalon used way too much of that pretty soap, but at least that meant it’d smell good for a while. He came up to see Agalon working the suds into his own hair, but in a very odd way. Instead of piling the length onto his head, like a lot of the human women he had seen do with their long hair, he slowly worked the shampoo through it, starting from the roots.
It was a process that seemed as if it would take a while, so Xac leaned with his back against the bench and looked up at him.
“Your hair is so long,” Xac said, because it was true, and because, though it was beautiful, the time it took to care for it, which he had not previously known, was going to be annoying. And because he would likely have to bathe with him about once a week, so it was going to be a constant annoyance for the rest of his life. He suddenly didn’t really want to grow his hair out.
“Thank you,” Agalon said, “There’s a whole heap of secrets to how to do that. I don’t never have much trouble with it- figured all that out a long while back.” He scooted forward and into the deeper water with Xac, then went under without a splash. Xac wondered how he had done that, and scooted to the side to give him more room as he lay back. There was so much more room here than there would be with something like a washtub. Xac could easily lay down too, and he thought very seriously about it as Agalon’s head popped up and he rested it against the tile bench. Xac waded to his side and cuddled into it.
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“We’ll go up to Satra for the Eishtar festival,” Agalon told him, “Go to the resort up there. They got a big-ass bathhouse I think you’ll like. Ugh,” he pulled Xac to his side, “I feel so lazy. Been a long, hot day. I could lie here forever. We really need to get washed though. I gotta smell like ass. Sometimes I wish I could run around half-naked, like y’all can.”
“You do wear a lotta clothes,” Xac said, “Coats and capes and stuff in the heat.”
“Here,” Agalon reluctantly moved back to the little outcropping and pulled himself up, motioning for Xac to follow him, so he did, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
He reached for another bottle that he had brought, squeezed a tincture into his hand and worked it through Xac’s hair as Xac wished with everything in him that he was allowed to drink more. He had only had about a glass and a half, and he was already starting to lose the effects, and that meant he was starting to think again, and when he was able to think his thoughts drifted to his mother who may be across the hall, so close that he could cover the distance in less than a minute. Fortunately, he wasn’t facing Agalon, so Agalon could not see these thoughts manifest on his face.
Instead, he said chipperly, “Alright, honey bunny, get you a washcloth and some soap and wash off, and don’t rinse this off till you’re done. It has to sit a minute.”
“Then can I have another glass of wine?” Xac asked hopefully, “It’s wearin off. It wears off real fast.”
“It does?” Agalon asked as if he had not expected this information, cupped Xac’s face and looked into his eyes. He seemed to be satisfied by what he said there, because he shrugged and said, “Yeah, I guess. Maybe half a glass, to start.”
“Thank you!” Xac hugged him, and was squeezed in return, and when Agalon released him he wet and soaped up his washrag, then waded out to the middle of the tub and began to scrub his face. He didn’t see Agalon watching him as he worked the tincture into his own hair, but he wouldn’t have been bothered by it if he could.
Xac was just happy to be clean again. He loved the way he felt after a good bath, and in the big tub he loved the way the filth came off of him and floated away until it dissipated in all the water, with lots of suds and little bubbles. The soap he normally used didn’t really make a lot of bubbles, and he tried to scoop them back up again, then blew them away with a giggle.
He wished he was drunk.
He dunked himself to rinse and came back up to see Agalon had moved, once again, to be in the deep water with him.
“You’re adorable,” Agalon chuckled, “Are you ready to get out?”
“I guess?” Xac shrugged. He was clean, but he didn’t really want to go back upstairs. He was frantically searching his mind for any reason to stay here, to stay out of the room he was so often locked in. It wasn’t that it was better here, necessarily, just that it was different. But he couldn’t think of anything, so in desperation, he made his eyes as big as he could, and spoke.
“Can we stay just a little bit longer though? Just to… You said you could lie down and stay here forever.”
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“Eh,” Agalon smiled, “Might as well. Come on, darlin, I’ll pour you a drink.”
He situated himself against the edge of the tub and pulled himself on the little outcropping to pour Xac half a glass of wine, then lowered himself back down until he sank into the bath up to his shoulders. Xac crawled to him, took it, and curled up into his side.
“Thank you!” he said happily. “I like it here! It’s pretty here.”
“It’s…” Agalon spoke slowly, as if in deep thought, “It’s easy to get used to things. I like havin you around. You make everything seem new again. I guess seein stuff for the first time.”
“I ain’t never seen a room like this before,” Xac said, “It is the first time.”
“You’re so cute,” Agalon smiled down at him, and Xac smiled back.
“You’re pretty too,” he said, because he felt it was polite to return compliments, and took another drink, hoping it would make his brain start working. Dusk was turning quickly to nightfall, and he wished the curtains weren’t drawn so he could see the stars.
Agalon cupped his face and leaned in to kiss him.
Xac was getting better at it, the more it happened. The first time had caught him off-guard, but like the wine, he was getting used to it. As Agalon had said, it was easy to get used to things. He wished he was drunk. He liked the kisses better when he was drunk. But he liked it well enough now, because he thought he had figured out what it meant. Agalon liked him, maybe even loved him, as much as he could love someone he obviously considered a pet, and as long as Agalon liked him, good things could happen to him. He believed him when he said he was going to let him out, eventually, that he was going to take him to town to buy clothes, that he was going to take him traveling to see fighters and go to nice hotels for festivals. This was probably the best position he could possibly have, better than the butler his father had thought he was going to be.
He really missed his father. He wished he could see him again. Maybe, if he was really good, Agalon would let him out and he could see his mother, but he was beginning to very seriously doubt he would ever see Abe again. But if he could see Abby, she could tell Abe that he was alright, that he was alive and well taken care of. Because he was alive and well taken care of. Everything was alright. He wasn’t going to cry.
He smiled up at Agalon as he pulled away and giggled, trying to look as content as he could as he finished off his wine.
“I love you, Honey Bunny,” Agalon said quietly, took the glass from him, set it on the tiles beside the tub, and guided Xac into his lap, where he instantly began to squirm because it wasn’t particularly comfortable. Something was jabbing into him again and he was… fairly certain he knew what it was now, and felt an emotion that he could not describe or place.
“Can I have some more wine?” He begged, “Please?”
“Shss,” Agalon said softly, and slowly spun Xac until he was facing away from him, “I want to show you something, and I want you to remember it.”
“I’ll remember it,” Xac promised, because he was fairly sure he was going to remember the night in detail. He wasn’t sure why, but his brain was telling him that this night, in particular, was important, was worth remembering, and that confused him. It had been a pretty good day; he had felt productive and then he had gotten to go downstairs, Agalon had been in a really good mood, he was going to go back to fresh sheets and new clothes- but he didn’t think it was any of that. It was something that made him more alert, made him nervous, and there was no reason for that.
“Are you cold?” Agalon asked, “You’re shakin, darlin.”
Xac shook his head. He couldn’t articulate what he was feeling, didn’t understand what was wrong with him. He should still have a good week before the moons were full. Why was he acting like this? What was wrong with him?
“Lean back,” Agalon said gently and pulled Xac’s back to his chest. After a beat, he asked, more seriously, “What’s wrong? You’re shakin. You nervous? Somebody tell you somethin? Somebody scare you?”
Xac shook his head again and tried to remember how to speak. He didn’t know what had set him off. Maybe he was embarrassed for Agalon? Was that a thing that could happen? Could you be embarrassed for someone else like that and feel it that strongly? Is that what this was? He really wanted a drink.
“Calm down,” Agalon kissed his cheek, wrapped an arm around him and held him there, so tightly that the security of it, the comfort, began to work, and whatever it was that had come over him began to dissipate, little by little. He hadn’t realized he had been tense until his muscles came undone, and it was a welcome change.
“Thanks,” Xac said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Do you remember,” Agalon asked him, “how I told you that I was going to give you things? How I wanted you to be safe and happy? How you were gonna feel real good?”
“Yeah,” Xac said, “Thank you. I… I don’t know why… I’m… weird. I’m sorry. I guess I get jittery.” He tried to laugh, to play off his behavior, “cause I’m a bunny. But I’ll do better! I promise!”
“You’re fine, darlin,” Agalon said, “Everything is new. But I’m gonna make you feel real good, so good you’ll never wanna go without it again.”
Xac didn’t understand why that didn’t put him more at ease. The way his brain and his body were functioning didn’t make sense. He wondered if he was getting sick, or maybe going mad, going stir-crazy from being locked up. There was something really wrong with him, and he didn’t know whether or not he should tell Agalon- if he really did love him, he would try to help. But he couldn’t know that for sure, and if he was wrong, he could just get rid of him.
Agalon still held him close with one hand, but he had slid the other down Xac’s body while he had given these assurances, and Xac tried his hardest to lean into him to the solid comfort he provided, to stop going crazy. Nothing was different. Nothing was wrong. There was absolutely no reason for him to be going mad right now. Maybe it was because he was a shifter? Maybe he could ignore it and it would go away.
Agalon wrapped his hand around the base of his dick, and Xac jumped before he could stop himself.
“How much do you know about yourself, Honey Bunny?” Agalon asked in a voice easily an octave lower than it normally was, “Have you ever done this before?”
“There’s something wrong with me,” Xac admitted because there was, and there was so much of it that it boiled over, it was the sort of information that could not be contained.
“Just relax,” Agalon said, “You’re going to feel all kinds a better here in a minute. This is gonna be a real good night for you, Honey Bunny.”
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