《Grimjack the Eviscerator Saves Christmas》Chapter 4: Snowmobiles and Makeshift Reindeers
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Grimjack was thrown off by her quick redirection. “What are you talking about?”
“Think about it. You’re here to deliver something right? Who else would it be for but Santa? He’s gone, so you’d have to rescue him if you want to complete your delivery.”
He snarled slightly as his visor scanned Jangle up and down again. It made sense. She obviously needed him, and he needed her information. He didn’t actually believe that this was the real Santa, but he was sure the Council would accept him delivering their package to him. Still, he didn’t like working with others. “Tell me where he is, and I’ll take care of it.”
She rolled her eyes at that. “You really don’t understand the situation we’re in do you? Christmas is in danger, and you need all the help you can get.”
Grimjack held up a finger in protest, but slowly lowered it. He could already tell she wasn’t going to give this up. He sighed. “No point fighting you on this, is there? Fine. Just try not to get in my way out there.”
“Big talk from the guy I just knocked halfway across Santa’s Village.”
He stored a note in his memory’s secondary storage unit to get her back for that verbal jab later. With a shrug he pretended it didn’t bother him and said, “Whatever. Let’s just get this show on the road. Lead the way, and I’ll watch your back.”
Jangle paused as she seemed to be mulling over something. “Follow me. I’ve got the perfect thing.”
She led them to what was clearly a stable, though it was empty for some reason. It had a fairly large shed attached to it, and with the turn of a key they went inside. It was a ground mechanic’s dream come true. A plethora of all kinds of vehicles with tires, skis, rotary blades, and even some tank treads. Every single one of them was bright red, which irked Grimjack. After all, why have a bunch of vehicles without also having a variety of colors to choose from.
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She walked up to a section with about a dozen strange motorcycles They were sleek and looked like a slightly wide sport motorcycle, except they had a thick single tread instead of two open wheels. “Here, we’ll take a couple of these.” She paused and looked up at him as she raised a single eyebrow. “You do know how to pilot groundcraft, right?”
He didn’t answer her. Instead, he walked up and sat down on the one that seemed the sturdiest. It groaned slightly under his weight. He didn’t have the key of course, but he placed his hand onto the vehicle’s command console. A jolt of electricity and command worm program embedding later, and the vehicle sprang to life.
He turned to her and in a gruff voice said, “Open the vehicle bay shutters, and let’s get going.”
Jangle sighed and walked over to a long loop of rope hanging down near the wall. She pulled it down hand over hand and with a slight groaning noise, the bay door slowly raised up. When it settled at the top, she got on her own bike.
“Get ready, these things can really go wild on you if you’re not careful.” She said, clearly annoyed by his antics as she suited up in a red and green striped helmet and a suit covered in various bits of protective padding. “Safety first,” she said as if it had been drilled into her so much that it was an automatic part of donning her motorcycle gear.
Again, instead of replying to her, Grimjack cranked down on the acceleration and sped out of there. Leaving Jangle to roll her eyes again and chase after him. With her much lighter weight, overtaking him wasn’t difficult. He heard a crackle on his internal com that annoyed him. How could she have gotten through his firewalls?
“Hey genius, I’m leading the way, remember?”
“How did you get access to this comm code?”
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“Wow, you really aren’t bright, are you? You’re the one that connected your fancy suit to that bike instead of using a key like a normal person.”
“Fine, this is more convenient anyway. Now, where are we headed?”
“The reject landfill.”
“That where this Santa cosplayer is?”
“How is it still so hard to believe that this is the real deal, and Santa is the genuine article?”
Grimjack snorted. “That’s just a fairy tale to get bad kids to behave. The universe is a harsh place, weak people need something to have hope in.”
“Pretty cynical view, especially considering you not only saw Santa’s Village, but got your butt handed to you by one of his elves.”
He swerved his bike towards hers, and she was barely able to drift out of the way.
“Hey! What the gingerbread was that?”
“Just checking if you’re properly alert.”
“Next time…hold that thought, we’re here.”
The two of them slid there bikes sideways to stop at the edge of a cliff. Before them was a massive crater that looked like it went down past the Earth’s crust. Small red lights indicated campfires here and there. Grimjack’s scans showed no signs of life, but a lot of electrical and AI activity. That was never a good sign.
“Alright, point out which spot he’s in and I’ll jump down.”
“Look, if you didn’t try and sideswipe me, I’d have been able to explain earlier that Santa isn’t here.”
“Then why are we wasting time here?” Grimjack started up his bike again.
“Slow down there quickshot. We need information. I know of a guy here who should be able to tell us everything we need to know.”
Grimjack’s first instinct was to shoot her. She had wasted his time and made him believe she was more useful than she really was, but he also remembered how well that turned out last time. So, he shut down his bike and hopped off next to hers.
“Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”
“We really need to work on your Christmas spirit.” She joked as she hopped off her own bike and took off her helmet.
She scanned the abyss and finally pointed towards a spot away from any of the campfires, but as Grimjack looked, he could detect high levels of AI activity. “That should be close enough. We’ll just have to go down a few levels from there.”
“Alright, let’s get going.” He got ready to jump, but she put up her hand and stopped him.
“Wait a minute!” Jangle said as she put up a hand to stop him. “We can’t just leave these bikes here, and it’d take me a lot longer to get down there on my own.”
“What are you suggesting?”
“Well…”
“This is not what this suit was designed for.”
Jangle was sitting on top of his shoulder, and the two bikes were strapped to his back.
“Nonsense!” she said in a cheery voice. “It’s more than strong enough to carry it all.”
“Sure, but that’s not…”
“On! Grimjack! The gloomy. Though you lack Christmas cheer.
Off this pseudo runway, like a good ol’ reindeer
To the edge of the cliff, and down into the hall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
He was about to protest, but again could tell nothing would come of it. So instead, he took a short running start and jumped down into the abyss. He hoped she didn’t expect him to have a soft landing, let alone fly like the reindeer supposedly could.
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