To my surprise, Saki showed up that night and crawled into my bed. I don't even think I was really asleep yet. My head was being too loud. I kept replaying events that happened between the spring and what had happened earlier that day, but it was no use. I couldn't put the pieces together.

She got into bed next to me silently, like she always did, like everything was normal. I stared at her back for a few minutes before I decided to test my luck.

"Hi, Saki," I said quietly.

"Hi, Kaito," she answered.

She certainly sounded more like her usual self. She wasn't snapping at me or making odd threats.

"Feeling better?" I asked.

She snorted. "I guess? What does that mean?"

"You seemed..." I wasn't sure how to say it without offending her.

"Crazy?" She turned over to face me.

I cracked a smile. "I was going to say something like, agitated."

"When am I not?" She grinned.

I chuckled. "More agitated?"

She nodded. "Don't worry about it. You should really try and stay away from me when I get like that."

"I don't want to stay away from you," I said softly. "I want to know how I can help you."

"You can't." She smiled weakly. "I just have to stay away until it passes."

"You don't have to do that." My eyes took on a pained look I hoped she couldn't see. "You can always come here."

"I'll break everything," she whispered.

"I don't care," I said. "It's just stuff."

"No," she corrected. "I break people, too. I drive them away."

"You couldn't drive me away," I said. "You wouldn't hurt me."

"I would." She closed her eyes. "You have no idea how horrible I can be. How horrible I was to people in the past. I don't want to do that to you."

My fingers tensed under the covers as I resisted the urge to reach out and touch her face, to hold her in my arms. "I can take whatever you can throw at me, Saki. If a punching bag is what you need--"

"I don't want that." She cut me off. "You're the first friend I've had in so long. It would hurt me so much to do that to you."

The silence grew between us. How could I debate that? I wanted so much for her to rely on me, but how could I ask her to do something that hurt her? Was there really no way to take her pain away?

"Saki," I said, finally breaking the silence.

"Hm?" she answered sleepily.

"I'm going to start making a futon up for me at night, in case you come," I said. "You can have the bed. I don't want to overstep my boundaries again. It will be easier for me this way."

She opened her eyes and nodded at me. "I understand."

She rolled over and I was left to my thoughts again. I couldn't see her eyes in that moment before she turned over. Was she relieved? Happy? Sad? Disgusted? I didn't know.

I'm so sorry, Saki; Sorry I couldn't be stronger for you.

Slowly the winter faded into spring. With it, came fresh green grass and those familiar cherry blossoms. I strived to be what Saki needed, rather than what I wanted. I no longer flirted with her. I sat a respectable distance away from her. I even slept on the floor every night, just in case she happened to wander in. As the world around us began its yearly renewal, so did I. I slowly let the old me die, making way for a new me, a better me.

We started into April, and that meant a new school year. Our classmates for homeroom stayed the same, of course, but we even happened to get Nagashima as a homeroom teacher again. Whether this was by accident or by design, I wasn't sure. I took the same seat as I did last year, expecting Saki would want her seat as far away from the teacher as possible, and with her view of the outside.

She didn't show up that whole first week. I nearly went mad. Why? Why did she have to make me worry about her so much?

Mid-way through the week, I sought Sayoko out by asking for her at random third year homerooms until I found her. Sayoko assured me that Saki was probably fine, for the most part. She told me that Saki just disappeared once in a while, but I shouldn't worry. That information didn't exactly comfort me. What was the reason for the extended absences? Sayoko's eyes said she knew something and I was dying to know what it was, but I couldn't ask. It felt like a betrayal of Saki's trust to gain whatever secrets she was hiding in that way, so I suffered in ignorant silence.

Saki crept into my room the weekend after that first week of school. I still woke up when she got into bed, even though I wasn't sleeping in it anymore. It was odd. I slept so soundly and deeply after she showed up. A bomb could go off and not wake me up, but I always heard her when she came in, as if my body couldn't truly be at ease until she was there.

She climbed into my bed as I lay awake on my futon staring at the ceiling.

"Having a bad week?" I asked.

"Mhm," she affirmed. "I'm a little better now."

I sighed. "It scares me so much when you disappear like that. Why can't you just come to me?"

"We've been through this," she said. "I'll hurt you."

"You wouldn't," I said, frustration finding its way into my voice. "I told you I can take it. Why won't you let me help you?"

Her head slid to the edge of the bed and she peered down at me. "You don't know what you're asking. I'm a monster, Kaito. Don't ask me to be something I'm not."

"Please talk to me," I begged.

She shook her head gently. "It's better this way. You have to believe me."

I clicked my tongue and turned away from her. I squeezed the pillow and gritted my teeth. I would have punched something if I thought it wouldn't scare her away. Slowly, I let out a deep breath, letting the anger slip from my body.

Harder. I'd just have to try harder. I'd just have to give it more time.

Our lives went back to normal. We continued the new school year in much the same way as we had ended the old. We studied and hung out a little on the weekdays. On the weekends, we'd do some normal activity that Saki pretended to hate, but secretly enjoyed.

Saki and Hiromasa's relationship didn't seem to suffer that much. They were pretty awkward at first and Saki gave him a little bit of space, but as he started to get comfortable, she started to treat him the same way she always had, taunting and teasing, ruffling his hair. He seemed to take it well. He really was a better man than me.

One week in early April, a second year girl with light brown hair cut into a Chinese bob style and hands shaking from nerves, mistakenly handed a flyer for the culture club to Hiromasa. Upon realizing her mistake of trying to recruit a third year, her round cheeks turned red and she started apologizing profusely. Hiromasa returned her blush and promised to join anyway. I don't think he really cared about the culture club, but it's not like he was going to turn down a cute girl.

It wasn't exactly normal for a student to finally join a club in their last year, but at least it made his mom happy. She had been bugging him to do extracurricular activities since he started. He really should have done it sooner. It is pretty abnormal that none of us were in any clubs. I guess in his case, better late than never. He had a bright future ahead of him, along with a plan for adulthood. I was kind of envious and felt a little guilty, like maybe I had been holding him back for two years.

We were about half way through the first term, when things got a little bit shaky. Saki and I, along with several other students were on cleaning duty at the end of the day. Most of the others assigned to clean had already left. They had clubs to get to, so Saki and I had agreed to finish up. It's not like we had anywhere else to be. All we had left to do was take the chairs back off the desks that we'd moved up there to clean.

Saki didn't typically work well in groups, but it's not as though she hadn't been on cleaning duty before. You do that countless times during your school life. But this time was different. I could tell she was feeling agitated, but I couldn't figure out why until it was just me, her, and some other guy who had insisted on sticking around, alone in the classroom together. The guy had been pretty much useless the entire time, now more than ever, since all he was doing was leaning against the teacher's podium while Saki and I were dealing with the chairs.

He was staring at her with a smug look on his face. A look that made me want to smash his nose against that podium, but I resigned myself to quicken my pace so the two of us could get out of there. Saki slammed a chair down on the floor with such force I was surprised the legs didn't break off.

"If you have something to say, just say it!" She gripped the chair and stared at the guy in the front of the classroom.

A grin spread over his face and he put his hands up in a sarcastic manner. "I was just admiring your beauty, that's all."

Saki growled and moved onto the next chair.

"Seeing that reaction, though," he said. "I suppose, maybe the rumors are true."

"What rumors?" Saki asked in a low voice.

"I heard you had to transfer here because you got a little violent in your last school." He smiled. "Even went as far as to break some guys arm. Did they press charges?"

Her lips went up into that sinister smile. "I didn't break it, merely dislocated it. Want to see the difference? I can demonstrate." She took a step towards him. "One on each arm."

"If you're just here to provoke her, why don't you just leave?" I asked. "You aren't doing anything anyway."

"In just a second," he said, not taking his eyes off of her. "I heard your mom is even crazier than you."

"What did you say?" Saki took another step towards him, her hands curling into fists.

I abandoned my position at the back of the classroom and walked over to Saki slowly. What was his deal? Why couldn't that asshole just leave her alone?

"I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," he said.

She lunged at him, but I caught her around the waist and pulled her back. "Saki, leave it."

"Let go!" She thrashed about and tried to pry my arms from her waist.

"Calm down," I urged, tightening my grip and pulling her back.

The guy in the front of the class started laughing. "Oh, man. This is great."

"Get out of here!" I shouted at him.

"Fine. Fine." He put his hands up and leisurely walked towards the door. "Thanks for the show."

He exited the classroom and I waited a few seconds before loosening my grip on her waist. The second I did, she twisted away from me and shoved me backwards.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" she spat. "What gives you the right to hold me back like that?"

"You can't afford to get into fights," I said. "Especially if what he said is true and that's the reason you had to leave your other school."

She marched over to me and put her face in mine. "Never do that again. I'll go through you next time if I have to."

I just shook my head. Of course I'd do it again.

She grabbed her bag and slammed the door on her way out. I sighed and put the rest of the chairs down before gathering up my stuff and heading out myself.

I walked down the stairs and towards the shoe lockers. It was pretty quiet on the first floor. Everyone else was already either in clubs or had gone home. That guy from the classroom was standing near the large open entrance to the shoe lockers. I've hated very few people in my entire life, and this guy was one of them.

I tried to ignore him and just walk by, but he couldn't let it go.

"Man," he said, as soon as I'd passed him. "That girl of yours is really something."

I stopped and looked back at him without saying anything.

He shrugged. "I guess I get it, though. They do say the crazy ones are the best in bed." He smirked.

I didn't have time to think about it. All I could feel was a searing heat spreading through my body. My muscles tightened and I launched my fist into his face.

He grabbed his mouth and stumbled backwards. "What the hell?"

I seized his collar in my fist and shoved him against the wall. "If you ever try anything like that again, I will haul you to the top of this building and throw you off. Do you understand?"

His eyes got wide and he nodded rapidly. I released his collar with a shove and walked away without saying another word. I wasn't sure if I was going to get punished. It all depended on whether or not he wanted to admit that someone punched him. I didn't really care either way. I'd do it again. And in that moment, I sure as hell wasn't kidding about throwing him off the roof either.

I got to my locker and found Saki leaning next to it. When she looked up at me, she didn't seem mad anymore. Her eyes looked calm, almost sad. It was especially hard for me not to embrace her when she looked at me like that.

"I saw the whole thing," she said softly. "Thank you."

I nodded and took my shoes out of the locker. "He had it coming."

"Is that the first time you've hit someone?" she asked.

I looked down at my hand. It trembled a little and the knuckles were red. I nodded.

"Felt good, didn't it?" She smiled.

I chuckled and nodded again. "It really did."

"Come on." She nudged me with her elbow. "Let's go home. You owe me a strawberry desert for stealing him from me."

I laughed. "Of course I do."