It was the day of the first test. The test to check whether someone is eligible for conscription. I wonder why they take tests for this kind of things. Obviously people like me were going to fail any such test deliberately. Who in their right minds would want to pass a test to get into the front lines of an alien war?

No one, that’s who.

So, I entered the examination hall and sat on my bench with determination and confidence to flunk the test…

“Good morning candidates. I am Celery of the race of Mortiseptiu Gordo from the planet Greech. I am an empath. That is why after I distribute your papers, I expect you all to give your all in the test. Any deliberate failure on your part will mean a direct-line placement on the front lines.”

… And~ I failed at the first step itself.

Those words spoken by a green skinned, blue haired humanoid jackal with a nose-ring had just broken up my whole strategy.

Okay, if its 100% you want, then its 100% you will get. Don’t come complaining about my awesomeness afterwards.

On that note, who the hell gives out written test papers now-a-days? The system changed to computer generated and AI assisted tests 2 years ago. These people sure are pretty backwards in some odd areas.

The test paper had some pretty odd questions too. Some were about daily life, some about personal opinions and some were technical. I tried my best to fail… er… gave my all to fill the answer sheet with satisfactory answers.

What? The nose-ringed jackal had only told us to give it my all. I did give it my all… to amuse myself with my answers, that is…

Look, it wasn’t a deliberate failure, all right? I just gave it my best effort at eliciting a laugh from the person who would read my answer sheet. I am sure I will succeed 100% in my endeavor.

Well, the test didn’t have a time-limit. Thus, I was able to take all the time I needed in order to fill out all the answers.

At last I reached the last question on the test. Oddly enough, it was a compulsory question. No question in the whole test was compulsory except this one. This made no sense. Do you want to know why?

Because it was written in gibberish.

Well, I had to give it my all. So I tried all kinds of stuff to make sense of the question.

I used my pen to underline what felt like words in the line.

I drew circles around the question.

Ah, this is getting nowhere.

I stuck out my tongue and made a paper plane out of the question paper.

Then I lifted my hand, closed one eye and took a shot at the unsuspecting empath showing her back to me.

I threw it.

It flew in a spectacular arc in the air, against the backdrop of the ceiling lights and missed our test supervisor.

But the missed target was the least of my worries.

For a second there, against the back-drop of the lights, the gibberish on the paper actually made sense to me.

“%[email protected]&**^@!($!$%%&^(@#$$^*(#$#%^%&)”

“How are you feeling right now?”

I froze. Who the heck asks questions like that at the end of an exam paper? An idiot? Hey paper-setter, are you an idiot? Is your upper level empty?

I sighed and filled in my answer in the same gibberish.

“#$%#*(“

“Miffed”

********************************************

“I am so happy to see you here son. How are your classes going?”

My parents sat across me in a posh dining restaurant. Well, as posh as his income would allow. We weren’t poor but we weren’t rich either. A middle class family like ours would still find it hard to go at a high-class restaurant frequently but once in 6 months time was alright.

“Going well. Not like you would understand what I am going through.” I grumbled.

It was the same as before. They continued speaking according to a script regardless of my answer. Since this scene had happened once before, I knew exactly why my parents had called me here. The first time around, I had been shaken pretty badly but I am as ready as can be this time.

“You see, I don’t have long to live.” My mother said. God bless her soul, the sweet thing that mum is never spoke with tact. That was one thing I missed about her the most the last time around.

“As your mother said.” My dad sighed. Mum’s lack of tact and direct talk always tired dad out. He loved her, that’s for sure, but he preferred that she talk more carefully with their only child, aka me.

“Your mother, she suffers from-“

“You know, the Freddy’s have discovered a cure for it ages ago. We can go to the school tomorrow and the medical department will have it cured in hours.” I said half-heartedly. They weren’t going to listen to me again and I was going to lose mum this time around again…

…Not.

I guess I am raiding the medical bay of my school tonight.

“What?!” My dad screamed.

“Huh?” was my answer.

This is… unexpected. This is the first time in my whole second life that they have not done the same as before.

“Is that true son? Tell me Neal, is the solution that simple?” He grabbed my hands.

“Erm…yes?”

I was still speechless. This is the first time in 19 years of my life that my parents have acted so differently. Heck, this is the first time in 19 years that anyone not connected to aliens has acted not the same as before.

Something is wrong. Something is horribly wrong.

The rest of the dinner went by in silence. Me due to my cultural shock. My parents due to their happiness shock.

We left the restaurant in silence too and everyone went their different ways. The next morning, my parents visited my school and got treated at the medical bay. They sent me a text soon after, informing me of the successful medication.

*******************************************

Another important thing I failed to mention.

Somehow or the other, despite my best efforts otherwise, I had passed the first test.