Thankfully supper ends quickly and I didn't embarrass myself. As everyone heads out I escort Seraphina to her room three paces behind her which apparently is the distance I have to be. I dutifully follow behind keeping the silence for a bit before I ask,

"I know it's sudden, but I'm gonna talk a bit of shop. I was wondering what are my constraints and limits when it comes to my work? "

She shakes her head and replies,

"As of now, you have no limits on budget or composition. I trust your judgment on this, don't prove me wrong."

I nod and say,

"I got it. I won't spend too much, but I'll need to rush, my gut tells me we don't have long before the next bout of violence."

This statement returns the silence. I return her to her room and wish her goodnight. We are next door to one another so she knows where to find me if needed. I go into my room and strip down to my underwear. I lift my arms above my head and lean back in a stretch to work out the tension that formed from trying to be all formal. I then take my handheld from the pocket of my pants which are on the floor. I check the time to see it is ten minutes till ten. I have enough time. I call Kassandra who I guess entered her number into my handheld without my knowledge. The phone rings four times before she picks up and says raggedly,

"Hey...Mike... Whatsup... it's nearly midnight..."

I slap my forehead as I had forgotten about the time difference. I then reply embarrassed,

"Sorry to call so late, I forgot about timezones for a second. I called to say I have good news. You probably got through the grapevine that I was knighted without my prior consent. From there I was granted a whole knightly order under myself. Well about that, it's not got a single other person in it, the good news is that I managed to secure the entire royal treasury as funds for its creation. Effectively unlimited funds, and freedom to do whatever is necessary. You're the first person I can think to ask for help.

Will you sponsor my knightly order?"

I hear movement before her voice comes on more invigorated and excited sounding,

"You're not screwing with me right?"

I reply,

"I prefer women my age, but yeah, it's all true. I can probably get the empress on the phone to tell ya."

I hear what sounds like a cheer and then she asks innocently,

"Soooo... what are the rules for morals?"

I sigh and reply,

"How about no doing to people what has been done to me or other earth pilots in the past. Aside from that let's not get any more new chapters in the Geneva convention."

I hear a laugh and she says back,

"Sounds good to me. I will recall Wendigo quickly as if I have the extra cash now I can give it an amazing upgrade. Trust me, you'll like this one... sorta."

I shake my head and say,

"I dunno if I should piss myself laughing or out of fear."

I hear a chuckle and she says back,

" Maybe both. I'll also design a model of AMS for your order. It will take a bit for production but it'll combine the best parts of the older design with the best parts of modern designs. So tough, and still sleek and agile. Yours will still be the last of its kind, but I will really work hard. So tomorrow, just ask the young empress to send the bills my direction and I'll make her an invincible army."

I laugh and wish her a good night. She wishes me one back and I hang up. I then hear my door being messed with before it opens wide. I forgot to lock it and someone just stepped in. My back is to the door and the light from the hallway spills into my dark room. I turn my head to the side to see who entered and see Seraphina standing in the doorway. She looks shocked and is seemingly having trouble making eye contact with me. Then I realize I am glaring. I soften my look and ask,

"What is the problem? You need me?"

She seems to break from whatever paralysis she is under and then asks carefully and calmly,

"What happened to you?"

I then realize I am in nothing but my underpants, my entire back is on display, from the metal sockets and ports running up and down either side of my spine, the many surgery scars, frag scars, and burn scars. Most of all, the missing lower legs. I must look like some kind of science fiction monster. I just shake my head at her question and take my pants off the floor and put them on. I then turn around to face her, my chest a similar patchwork minus the metallic holes. I then say,

"It's hard to explain, but put simply and in a way, I am comfortable saying, I am, or was a science experiment. The other scars can be explained by regular old violence and fighting."

She shakes her head and steps through the threshold of the door and it closes behind her. I sigh and turn on the dull lamp next to my bed to give a soft light to the room. She then says,

"Who...who did this to you? Those metal bits in your back... they look so grizzly and horrible. Those scars, not all were from fighting damage, they are too straight and precise... clearly surgery scars..."

I sigh and say,

"I don't exactly know how to answer that question. I could either say the person who did the cutting is responsible, but they didn't give the order. I could say the person who gave the order but they were responding to aggression. I could blame the aggressors, but they had no idea what would happen. It's hard to put blame on anyone. There is blame in each individual action, but no overall blame for my sorry state."

She shakes her head, eyes full of worry. She asks,

" How have you been able to survive everything? How have you been able to deal with everything?"

I shake my head and reply,

"I wasn't raised to back down or to give in to the overwhelming weight or pain of the world. When this happened, what got me through it all was a pure sense of duty and spite towards those I wished to best. The scars on my body are a testament to my constitution and unbreaking will. I don't lose, I don't die, and I don't complain."

She looks down and then asks,

"Mike... I have another question... You said violence is coming. I have to ask because I'm scared. How do you kill, or deal with killing another person?"

I shake my head and reply solemn,

"You don't. You never do, you only deal with the consequences. The nightmares, the memories, and the sickness in your stomach. It's the only reason I am still here though. All the bad, lets me know I'm a good person. People who say they don't feel anything are either liars or sociopaths. There's that old question that's asked about whether the end justifies the means. In the situations, I find myself in it usually does. People have to die so another, or many people can live. I'm alive, many people at this school are alive, and those girls are safe. I'd say the measures I had to take were justified, and those girls, even if they didn't thank me, just by seeing them alive and well made all the bad I went through manageable.

Death should never be taken lightly, but in the heat of the moment you should suppress the urge to puke or just collapse in despair, there are slapshot choices and actions to take and make, afterward do all the crying and puking, but while the bullets fly you kill. That's about all I can say, not because I'm keeping a secret, but I have no magic way to ignore it all... I just kinda move on."

She shakes her head and replies,

"You gotta be kidding right? You seem to be fine. How is it that there is no way to manage? I've not seen you cry and despair."

I shake my head and meet her gaze, my eyes intense. I say in a low voice,

"I don't go out of my way to talk to anyone usually, I am a recluse most of the time. I avoid talking to others as to not be bothered by anyone. I constantly am checking rooms for threats and dangers. I'm dealing with it better than some, but I wouldn't say I am fine by a long shot. As for not seeing me cry and mope, it's because it's a guy thing, at least on earth. You don't let others see you as weak. Not at all. It's not good but in my personal sense, I don't want to burden anyone else with my issues. Maybe not a good idea but I manage."

She goes quiet and looks down before saying to herself,

"I see, I guess I thought men were just shallow, I didn't know you all felt the same as us. I guess it's impossible to see through someone's eyes if they aren't supposed to open up."

I nod along before she says quietly to me,

"I eavesdropped on your phone call a little... I'm sorry... I didn't realize I forced you to become a knight. I guess I didn't understand what you meant when you said you would help me..."

I sigh and reply after a short pause,

"I guess it's okay... As I said earlier I kinda don't like being bothered and having more responsibilities isn't something I go around asking for, but I'll let it pass. You made your decision and I'll respect it, so long as you give me due respect and don't treat me as some random pawn."

She nods and in a slightly more cheerful tone states,

"Alright, I promise I won't push you around. Beyond what is needed."

I give a half-smile sitting there for a moment in an awkward silence before she asks sheepishly,

" I don't know exactly why or how you got them... but, can I touch those metal things on your back?"

I let out a stunned laugh that sounds like a snort before I say with a surprised laugh,

"Well, that's forward. I guess I have to listen to my pervy empress who only wants to touch and feel my body."

She recoils back hard almost falling over and in a rapid-fire voice exclaims,

"W-Wait that's not at all what I meant. I've just never seen anyone with metal sticking out of their back that's all! I didn't know they were a private part or anything."

I reply with a hearty laugh before saying,

"Nah, they're just metal bits attached to my spine, nothing private about them. I'll let you touch em."

I roll my shirt up my back and lie face down on my bed back exposed and say into my mattress,

"C'mon miss curious, come and feel me up."

She lets out a long breath and scoots my room's chair up next to the bed and sits on it. I keep my face buried breathing in and out in a calm rhythm. I jump a little when I feel her cold hands gently touch the place where the port meets my skin. She recoils back at my spasm and I say,

"Sorry, your hands are a little colder than I expected."

She apologizes before continuing to gently trace the metal sockets. The holes are too small for her fingers but I do feel her try to stick a finger inside, hopefully, the last time anyone tries to stick a finger inside me. Her hands are soft and her touch gentle as she keeps feeling up all the surgery scars and feels the cables that run right under the surface of my skin. Eventually, her touch becomes more firm as she prods and grabs parts of my back, testing to see how they feel and if my flesh can move in a normal manner even with the metal securing it to my spine. It feels... surprisingly relaxing. As she continues I feel my eyes grow heavy and each breath slows down. I try to fight it but slowly sleep starts to overtake me... I guess I have been missing human touch...