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“I don’t have a say in this, do I?”

I recalled reading somewhere on a random website that there are approximately 1,429 roller coasters worldwide. Line them all up and you’re in for a long wild ride of many twists and turns, with some loops toss in between. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to say that no being, no matter their resilience, would come out of that metal amalgamation unscathed, or puke-less for that matter.

“Killing the boss? No, unfortunately, it’s gonna have to be you,” Sukuinote said.

As I stood there, enduring once more, the unbearable strain of a near-impossible task, I couldn’t help but feel as if I’m being held prisoner in something similar to that.

The key difference being, that at some point, those railway tracks would eventually reach an end, a sudden stop to the nauseating experience, a chance at relief, whereas my bizarre coaster lacked the constrictions of reality, stretching onwards to an infinity without limitations.

And to think… This all happened because I wanted a bed to sleep in. Apparently that was just too much to ask for. I don’t even want to imagine what would transpire if I asked for a cup of tea. Fuckin’ Zeus himself might strike me where I stood.

A feeble sigh escaped me, “Can’t believe this is actually happening.”

Sukuinote made a face, an outward display of empathy, yet his words conveyed only the opposite.

“Sora… at some point or another, you’re bound to fight one. I’m just ensuring that it happens sooner rather than later.”

“This much sooner?!” I snapped, fingers folded in trembling palms. “I’m Level 1 now. You so much as sneeze at my direction and I go bye-bye and now you’re making me slay a floor boss?”

“Well… you got that sword of-”

“What sword? Oh, you mean that one, that sword? The same goddamn sword that is a pain in the ass to swing, reverts my fucking levels when I do, puts me to sleep, and also has a chance of hemorrhaging my brain as punishment - a punishment set by you - because I’m not allowed to use it yet...”

“Sora, Let me finish-”

“IS THAT IT? IS THAT THE ONE YOU WANT ME TO USE?”

My shout echoed, instilling a silence where we only stared at each other, one heaving with anger, the other, simply observing with mild interest.

The quiet lingered for almost a minute, broken finally, by his voice, soft-spoken and meek.

“I understand if you find all of this unfair-”

“It is unfair,” I hissed, my lips pursing.

“To you, perhaps, but to everyone else?” He gestured again to the holograms up high, “To all the rest - seems fair enough. Come, name me someone who’d object to this responsibility falling to your shoulders.”

“Tayuma would.”

“Maybe... or maybe not. Has it not occurred to you that he might have mentioned you to his group?”

The shock blowing past my expression prompted his smile to broaden.

“Oh come on now, is it really a surprise that they too have their own stories to tell about you? There’s always plenty of tall rumors floating about. A favorite being the tragic tale about how you were, as they call it ‘too little, too late’. Tayuma found that one quite enlightening.”

I gritted my teeth, scouring the whirlwind of thoughts in my head for someone else.

“Background Character B,” I muttered, grasping for straws, “he might have something to say if he ever spoke. Or Ayako, yeah, her - she doesn’t think like one of them.”

“Two people out of hundreds. Sorry Sora, but the influence of a top streamer and her lackey can only do so much to sway public opinion.”

I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, any way to vent out the despair stirring me deep in distress.

Agitation flared out my nostrils, as my eyes met his once more, “Say I refuse… I don’t do as you say. What then?”

His lips formed a thin line, along with a downcast stare that didn’t reach mine, “Then the punishment continues like normal. All will remain until there are none to keep. I continue respawning aggroed NPCs and watch the players slowly drop one by one.”

I didn’t have a heart in this virtual avatar, but if I did, it’d have frozen in place.

Sukuinote continued, “Now Tayuma may be smart, and Arishia may be agile. But a mistake is a mistake. One slip up, and they’re history.”

“And that’s fair to you?” I asked.

“It’s fair enough, I’m done debating on the matter,” He simply said, “I’m offering a get-out-of-jail, a nice reward for your efforts, a chance of freedom even after deliberately exploiting both me and the game... it’s only your choice whether to accept it or refuse it.”

The freedom of choice was provided, a freedom that wasn’t so free, presented on the pretense of fairness, a fairness that wasn’t so fair.

You can’t save everyone.

I’ve resigned myself to it. What has risking my life ever done for me? I got my answer already that day. Ignorance was the better alternative back then, if I had faked obliviousness way back when… the outcome would have stayed the same.

People would have gotten trapped all the same with the only difference being me not sharing the same fate.

So if I acted upon some stupid noble cause like before… who’s to say history wouldn’t be inclined to repeat itself? Who’s to say I wouldn’t make a bad situation worse?

Is it better not to try? Is it better to let them die?

Past experiences dictated they’ll be no change in outcome either way… true, but how can a guy just stand there and watch people suffer for no good reason, knowing he could save them and say to himself, ‘No, I won’t do it.’

I know there are many that could… but unfortunately for my own well-being, I wasn’t one of them, no matter how much I wanted to convince myself I was.

The gravity of the situation, the injustice of it all, the frustration… bitterly, I tried to express them all with a question burning away at me since that fateful day, “Why me?”

In him I saw sympathy, an almost genuine remorse to the odds stacked high against me, seemingly forgetting that it was he who had placed them there in the first place.

He answered back, voice barely more than a whisper, “Because there’s no one else but you.”

“How is that an answer, how?!” I cried out, flailing my hands desperately. “How do you expect me to waltz to my fucking death with just that?! You’re sending me to an early grave and you can’t even tell me why?! I don’t want any bullshit sayings or stupid cryptic statements - the truth, that’s all I want. It’s only fair, after all.”

He gave a sigh, “Yes, I suppose it is only fair.”

“Answer me then! Why is it always me? Why not anyone else? You got over 40,000 people dancing to your tune, yet you single me out, did it before, doing it now - literally anyone else would be better qualified, hell even Arishia would be a better choice here, so why me?”

A brief moment of stagnation, as his eyes assess my flustered state, before resuming his stroll around the vicinity.

“If you had asked me this back when we first met, I’d have told you that you were just simply at the right place at the right time. A whimsical choice in a vast ocean of players.

“So that’s it?” I asked, “I just happened to catch your interest?”

“Basically, yeah,” He simply said.

“But that was before, right? What changed?”

He turned his head towards me, “You surprised me.”

It took a moment for his words to settle, pushing past the many thoughts in my head swirling in disarray, echoing to mild disbelief.

I blinked back the confusion, “Explain yourself.”

A slight twitch in his lips, “Why don’t I answer you with some questions instead? Why, Sora, why’d you come back? When many others before you ran, why’d you stay? Why didn’t you just stay behind when you had the chance?”

He continued, snuffing out any chance for a response.

“Knowing the repercussions, why’d you used your sword to save Tayuma from that miniboss that day? Why’d you not fight back while you were being hunted from everybody? Why’d you risk your life again saving a meaningless background character?”

Finally he relented a pause, a chance to provide an answer to his questions. He looked at me with an eagerness in his eyes, all too keen to hear what I have to say.

Looks like he’ll be kept waiting indefinitely, because I didn’t know what to say. A jumble of sentences, words clumsily strung along, scaling the tip of my tongue before toppling over to a state of silence.

No answer I came up with really justified my actions. For I didn’t even know what my reasoning behind those actions were.

So I was honest, “I don’t know.”

He nodded in approval, smiling, “Yes… you don’t know. You don’t know why you save people. You just do.”

Sukuinoite chuckled at his own statement, “You think you’re Superman or something?”

“Of course I don’t,” I said in annoyance.

“Well I think you can be,” He answered back, pointing a finger at my direction, “That’s why I think you can do this. That’s why I chose you, because there’s no one else but you.”

I scoffed, “Sounds like you’re just making me out to be something I’m not.”

“Maybe I am,” He shrugged his shoulders. “If you disagree, then refuse me - prove me wrong. Be who you think you are.”

Again, a silence met him, and he chuckled even louder.

“But you’re already doing that, aren’t you?”

“I just don’t want to die.” I responded, clenching my teeth in frustration.

“I’m not telling you to die, Sora, I’m telling you to fight.” A sudden loud snap resonated from his fingers, “And fight you will.”

I felt it before I saw it. The numbing sensation of teleportation. A bright light started to emerge and envelope my very being, obstructing sight to a straining blue glow.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked at once.

“Putting you back in the dungeon, exactly where you were when you fainted,” He explained, his voice fading away into the distance, “Where I can finally see you play the part of the hero once more.”

Before I was finally whisked away, I shouted into the open air, “That’s it then? We’re just some form of entertainment to you? A TV show you can just tune in on? How are we supposed to live like that?!”

I wasn’t expecting him to answer, but in the short span of time in-between warping from one place to the next, his voice sounded in a distant echo.

“You’re still not getting it, Sora,” He said, as casual as ever, “I live. You survive.”