Fuck.

I'm fucking annoyed.

Walking out of my first morning class (it was Mathematics), I can't help but glare back at the bunch of gawking students in the room. Sensing my hostility, they quickly avert their eyes. Good.

I walk away as fast as I can while dragging Yermen alongside me. He's not saying anything, so I assume that it's fine.

On the way, more students in the hallway begin to look at me as well.

This is not what I was expecting to happen.

Since my Stigma is no longer a secret, I decided this morning that there's no point in hiding it anymore. But the moment I stepped into the classroom, pairs of eyes from every student immediately turn towards me.

They were whispering to each other, openly pointing and staring at my Stigma.

'Hey, is it true?'

'That delinquent? Did he gain a Stigma? At this age?'

'I saw him in front of the Headmaster's office yesterday.'

Yermen wasn't spared from the gossip either, since our seat is right next to each other.

Apparently, some annoying students were nearby when I entered Headmaster Varier's office yesterday, and they saw Yermen next to me as well. They must have thought that I did something bad and was being called in for punishment.

But when I came out no longer with any bandages to hide my Stigma, they went crazy. The news spread like wildfire last night, and I was oblivious to it all since I only stayed in my room. Theories and conspiracies ran rampant among the student body.

Like, how did I gain a Stigma? Was I someone special? The hidden bastard of some high noble? Or am I the son of the Headmaster himself? If they asked me, could I teach them how to gain a Stigma as well? What about that scrawny kid beside me? Is he secretly a Blessed as well?

Such things were heard everywhere I went.

Reaching a fairly empty and secluded place, I let go of Yermen's hand and turn towards him.

His face is frowning while looking at me.

I feel so guilty.

I suddenly dragged him into this mess that's got nothing to do with him. I was so selfish, not thinking about his situation at all before asking for his help. He now has to deal with people looking at him like some sort of display, like a fancy object. His life will forever be under the scrutiny of others.

He must be so mad. He's gonna tell me to get lost. He wants to end our friendship. He must be disgusted at how selfish I am. He's going to yell at my face, insult me, tell me that I'm not worthy to be his friend.

He...he...

I can't breathe.

My vision is darkening around the edges.

My heart is palpitating so hard, I feel like dying.

It's like in that dream again.

Dark. Cold. Drowning.

So dark...so cold...so lonely...

I hear something, but it's so blurry... someone is shouting something...

Someone is touching me...shaking me...

Then I'm suddenly enveloped in a tight hug.

The hug is tight and warm.

I feel less alone, less afraid.

My rapid breathing calmed down a little, my heart no longer threatening to burst out of my chest.

I hear a soft and reassuring voice.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. It's fine. I'm not leaving..."

Closing my eyes tightly, I feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I reach my arms out and hug him back.

Yes, I was being silly.

He's still here. Still here.

The warmth of his body is real. His soft breath is full of life.

Yes, my friend is here with me. He's going to save me from the darkness, like before.

Like that, we stayed in each other's embrace for a time.

===

After I feel some modicum of calm return to my system, I release my friend from the hug we were in.

Seeing him look at my face with more concern than before, I can't help but look away and wipe my eyes. I feel my embarrassment rising up to my face, dyeing my face red.

That was so uncool of me.

Suddenly crying like a child, and then hugging my friend like that. I clear my throat.

"Ahem. I'm... I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I don't mind. Are you alright now?"

"Yeah. I feel better now."

"Good."

He's looking deeply at me.

"What happened? Suddenly you started stumbling and breathing very fast. When I looked at your eyes, it's as if you were deathly afraid of something."

"I... I thought you were going to break up with me."

"Phrasing!" Yermen looks scandalized. "And no, I wasn't 'breaking up' with you. What made you think that was the case!?"

"You were frowning... you looked very mad."

Yermen sighs. "I was very mad. I was concerned that those gossipers were making you feel uncomfortable. I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at them."

"Then... then we can still be friends?" I asked with some hope.

"We made a promise, right? As long as you don't hurt yourself anymore, I'll always be your friend." He said with a smile.

"Yermen... I... I..."

I feel tears threatening to flow out again. I can't help but hug him tightly again.

"Thank you. Thank you so much... You don't know how much this means to me... Sniff."

"Alright, I get it, I get it already! Get off of me you big oaf! You're crushing my bones here!"

Sheepishly, I release my hug. "Sorry."

"Sigh. It's fine. Hey, it's really fine. You don't have to look at me with those guilty puppy eyes anymore, alright? I forgive you."

Hearing this, I smile brightly.

I was being an idiot again. How could I think that such a good person would ever abandon me?

===

At the cafeteria, Yermen can't help but gaze at Alean's face.

The idiot who was being a bumbling, crying, and snotty mess just now, is happily shoving food down his throat, smiling all the while.

Yes, this is how Alean Steelight should be. Happy, without a care in the world.

The miserable visage just now felt inherently wrong somehow. His face, wet with tears, begging for forgiveness, begging to be not left alone...

Yermen is furious.

Those insensitive brats. If he ever gets his hands on them, he'll make sure they'll pay.

Those people didn't even see Alean when he was struggling with himself, now suddenly all they want is to cling to him, to get to know him. For what, a dumb, stupid, not even that impressive Stigma. Such hypocrisy. Such selfishness.

And the gossiping is non-stop.

He didn't even need to have the enhanced senses of a knight to hear what they are saying.

What bastard child? What secret weapon? The guy is just a dumb, emotional, and lovable idiot. He is so dumb that he thought Yermen would abandon him for such a trifling matter.

He's not some fragile maiden who would cry the moment someone talked badly behind his back.

If anything, the big oaf is more like a maiden than he is.

Sighing, Yermen decided to glance around.

Countless eyes were staring at their little table. Though they try to be subtle, their curiosity and desire are so obvious that it's disgusting. It's like they're treating Alean like some exotic animal, and the big guy is too focus on stuffing his face right now to notice. Yermen secretly commits each and every one of those faces to his memory.

Suddenly, the sound of constant eating stopped, and Yermen look back to see the mountain of food that was in front of them has vanished without a trace. Alean is looking at his empty tray with a lost expression.

Having lost his appetite long ago, Yermen pushes his own tray towards the glutton. Alean's smile returns immediately as he said his thanks, before diving in right away. Really, Yermen wonders how can the guy eat so much but still maintain his body this well.

Yermen looks out the window next to them, deep in his thoughts.

He had never seen a person in that state before.

It's like Alean was trapped in his own dark thoughts, unable to get out. The pain and suffering in his eyes. His trembling body. His wretched expression. His breath was fast and halting like he was drowning in air.

Yermen once again finds himself in over his head. For all the books he had ever read, none of them ever dealt with problems of the mind.

He needs more knowledge, more experience if he wants to keep Alean from falling back in that place. But where to start?

He needs advice, a direction for his research. He needs to ask for help.

The Headmaster's words ring loudly in his mind.