I cover my eyes with my arm. I do not know why I buried my doubts in front of her. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t want any children. That my blood is cursed and should be ended as soon as possible.

But when she looked at me I couldn’t do anything but be happy. If not for myself then at least for her. While I know I would be a terrible father I can’t help but feel a small sliver of happiness at the idea of a family. I have so few family in this world that I envy those who have it. Not that my family was ever a good one to begin with.

I should get back to giving instructions for the army but I cannot focus anymore. A major change in my life has occurred. How does one even care for a child? I guess beating the child is a bad idea since my father did that.

I feel lost.

“Michael?” I look up to see Matteo. He would be a good person to ask. I wonder what he is coming in for. It could be anything but I think I know exactly what it is. He is most likely worried about me.

“Yes?” I gesture for him to sit down.

“What did she say?”

“I am to be a father.”

“Congratulations.” Matteo smiles at me. His sincerity causes me to feel better. “Do not worry about it. I am sure that you will be an excellent father. You will look back on this day and ask yourself about how you could be so silly for worrying.”

“Thanks.” I guess that worrying is silly. How could I be worse than my father? I would have to actively be trying. A good thing that bastard died an early death. Drinking is a rather horrid habit. “I wish you luck in the tournament.”

“I do not need luck.” Matteo gives me a cocky smile and I cannot help but to agree. I would be sorely disappointed if he did lose. I would begin to start questioning if he was just throwing the match. “It is Luca you should be worried about. He has been training fairly seriously, I think he hopes to beat me this time.”

I can take a couple guesses as to why. I believe he is trying to impress a certain red-headed lady but I will refrain from commenting. I dismiss Matteo and he leaves. The room grows quiet and lonely.

I spend too much time in here.

I get up and look at my books. The people will probably take this as a good sign during the war. A child being born with the imperial sigil would be proof to them that the imperial line will continue and that Arria will abide.

I open the letter on my desk. Critriria wishes for me to support their offensive to take back their lost land. I hardly doubt they will see any resistance to the war. Hertland is one of those republics. Who would assist them?

Allonia?

They are busy with the current war. But perhaps they don’t want assistance but instead want the legitimacy of this claim supported. I will need to consider this offer. I see no need to empower their weakening Alton monarch. Even at the request of a fellow Rien.

I look outside to see the sun in the sky. It is about time for the tournament to begin. I guess there is no point in just sitting here all day. I might as well check up on Isabella and make sure that she and the child are good.

I walk out and look around. It seems Luca and Matteo have left already. To say that I am surprised would be a lie. Matteo probably checked up on me before leaving. I walk past and the guards follow me.

The halls reflect the weather outside, cold and dim.

There is a tournament celebrating the beginning of both fall and spring. I am sure that there would have been one for each of the seasons if not for the fact that summer already has too many and doing them in winter seems a little excessive.

I enter the tea room to see Isabella sitting down and talking with her father. I had thought that he left as soon as morningcourt had finished. I guess that I was mistaken. He greets me but I choose to ignore him. I don’t want him to upset my already complicated mood.

“Shall we?” I hold out my shoulder for Isabella. She takes it and smiles at me. Her smile must be infectious because I feel a small smile tugging itself at the corner of my lips. She is so bright and lovely when she is happy. If I could I would want her to remain this way for the rest of her life.

I can sense Giovanni following behind us but make no mention of it. Does he want to follow us all the way to our seats? The only ones allowed to be there would be the royal guard. All other people are required to in a separate area.

I sit down with Isabella and overlook the indoor arena. It is small and sparingly decorated. At most there are torches for light and the Arrian flag. The judge begins announcing to the crowd of nobles. Telling them about the age-old tradition and how it shows Arrian military might.

I guess it is time to get this over with. The end result won’t be surprising.