“GODDAMNIT, those fuckers nuked themselves again !” Shouted Dan, making the whole office tremble. The other gods quickly proceeded to mock him, enjoying their short-lived feeling of superiority. Which of course, didn’t help with Dan’s anger.

“CYNDRIC !”

And what better outlet for Dan’s anger than my sorry ass ? ....

Hearing Dan shouting for me, I interrupted Brenda’s pedicure. A monday ritual I was forced to accomplish in my quality of office slave, and one of the rare occasion where being in my humanoid form was allowed. Of course, Brenda protested, but Dan was her superior so my choice was quickly made.

No doubt she would make me pay for that in time ...

But taking care of Dan’s tantrum was more urgent if I wanted to keep getting paid ...

I presented myself in front of the fulminating Dan. Tightening my posture in a military salute, not wasting time to get back to floaty me. Making Dan wait would only make him more angry ... Then, I answered with a practiced fakely dignified voice “Sir Dan, I await your orders !”

Not even looking at me, he immediately answered.

“Get that fucking planet out of my sight, I won't bother with those fucking humans again. I have done more than enough for this planet already !

Also exchange it for a new one while you are at it. I want it on my desk in three hours or you’re fired !”

“Yes sir, on it sir !” I then responded readily, heading for the exit while carrying the huge spheric device along. Seriously, that thing was half as big as I was, at least one meter in diameter, the only thing that saved me was that it wasn’t really heavy.

Would that thing break if I rolled it on the ground ? It’s a sphere after all …

No wait stupid me, don’t make that mistake, wait to be outside of the office first.

Dan is already angry enough, I had my quota of god’s furry for the day.

Lost in my thought, happy to be given an opportunity to slack off and take a walk, I started wondering about where I should even go with this device to have it exchanged.

Realising I had no idea ...

Damnit, why does this always happen to me.

At least give me proper instructions !

I want a map and a quest cursor !

***

Finally !

I rolled this huge spherical device through the whole city for hours, asking everyone where I should go to have it exchanged, but I finally found the place !

Turn out asking the giants was a mistake from the beginning. None of them knew or cared enough to answer, most of them only screamed at me for my supposed lack of respect.

Something like presenting myself in my humanoid form being an insult to them …

Many also seemed to have a problem with a floaty carrying worlds around, I received quite a few accusatory stares …

Well, sorry for them but there is just no other way to roll this huge fucking thing around !

If I could, I would magically carry it on my floaty head but that’s impossible !

Floaty me would just be squashed below, like mashed potato !

Huuum, potatoes, baked in the oven with some cheese and served with steak, that would be perfect … *slurp*

… Damn it, now I’m hungry …

Anyway, back on topic. In the end, It was a random floaty soul that gave me direction, a really nice guy by the way. The first guy who treated me rather decently in months … When he saw me rolling the planet around, he winced, asking me what kind of cruel gods forced me to do that ! It was a nice feeling to feel a little empathy on the inhuman treatment I was subjected to. It’s sad that he was in a hurry to go … *sigh*

… Did I mention I hate this life ? … *sigh* … Oh wait, I’m dead !

Then I hate this afterlife … bunch of megalomaniac gods, jealous that we can float and glow in the dark while they can’t.

Anyway, it turns out my destination was the MRO’s building all along ! Who would have know ?

With Dan’s office and the Reincarnator 3000 Mac 2, it’s the only three places that the author even bothered to describe in this story. He can’t even be bothered to make a new one at this point ! You’re slacking off author ! At least describe this city a little !

‘Little hamlet in the middle of a big empty field of white, Spirit city follows an avantguard style with its pure white design. The city layout is formed through a succession of concentric circle, centered on the ... ’ ~Author

NOT NOW AUTHOR ! You had your chance when we entered the city, it’s too late now !

Also that’s my inner monologue, get out of my head !

‘…’ ~Author

Anyway, I should have guessed, it was the second biggest building in the city …

Generally in games that scream ‘THIS PLACE IS IMPORTANT’ and, even though in life it’s more a ‘LOOK AT ME I’M IMPORTANT’ type of thing, I should have gotten a clue and looked around big building first.

As always in this plane, size matters !

Probably because the author needs to compensate for something.

‘You m ... You just wait, see what I have in store for you ...’ ~Author’

Ah, bring it on ! I’m not afraid of you !

Now silence, we are getting back on topic.

So, what was I saying … Ah yes, so finding the destination was good and all, but floaty me will be in trouble when the time comes to get back … Dan is not really the patient and amiable type of person I would like to have as boss … and I’m late … very late ...

Anyway, gotta get it done before anything else. I’m pretty sure I won’t even be fired anyway. At worse they will cut a few month of salary and that’s if it’s their bad day, I have plot armor after all !

“Yeah, about that, you might be strangely surprised ...” ~Author

LALALALA~, can’t hear you Author ! Besides, no matter what punishment they could cook up for being a bit late, I had it worse already … small advice, don’t spill hot coffee on a god, they don’t like it very much ...

Walking toward the reception while deep in thought, still rolling the spheric device around, my thought process was interrupted by a voice emerging from the five meter reception desk. Jennifer’s remplacant.

“If it’s for an exchange, it’s second floor, third door of the left corridor when exiting the elevator. Ask their reception for more information. In case it’s for the daycare service then It’s on the first floor, we are lacking employee after a sudden departure so they will probably charge extra. For paper regularisation, I’m the one in charge but you will have to wait since I’m in pause right now.”

Daycare ? We are we talking about pet or humanoid civilisation ?

No, more importantly ...

“Extra ?” I asked, confused. The last time I walked in here, I didn’t pay a thing. I even walked out with a job !

“What ? Do you think it’s a charity ? Paper regularisation aside, we expect payment for our services you know. Don’t try to swindle your employer’s money.” She said, throwing me an accusatory glance.

Great, like I wasn’t poor enough already …

I better see every penny back or Dan will get extra spitting in it’s coffee for the next few years !

It’s not like leaving this job would improve my situation, it probably wouldn’t be better anywhere else. I could even find worse, at least Dan still pays me. There are other which consider serving them is a privilege in itself, refusing to pay their ‘employee’ and engaging new one when they complain ...

Not like floaty soul are lacking in this place … and anything is better than the line when you are too weak to cheat your way to a better place. Even exploited, at least you will be occupied …

There is nothing worse than boredom, trust me.

“Where is the elevator ?” I asked in a long sigh.

“All the way over there !” She responded, pointing to the right corridor behind her. Going back to whatever she was doing before.

Great, It couldn’t be on this side of the building, of course …

Well … no use to complain, it won’t change anything anyway…

Proceeding through the corridor, rolling my planet around like I just don’t care, I was stopped about halfway by a familiar voice coming from the entrance.

“Oh, I forgot, the elevator is broken right now, you will have to take the stairs !”

Oh, great ...

Just. Great.

***

“Like I told you, Old Ji is absent right now. I am just an employee, I do not have the right to do anything by myself. Can’t sell you a new one, neither exchange it, my hands are tied. You will have to wait for him to get back.”

“Is there really, really, no way ?” I asked “I’m gonna get fired if I keep making my boss wait, I was supposed to be back in three hours and it’s been more than ten already.”

Seriously, climbing those stairs took me forever ! Even without the device, those steps were giant sized ! Add to that a huge spherical device and an asthmatic humanoid form, then you will get an idea of the difficulty !

The device even fell down the stairs a few time, fortunately it was sturdy enough to withstand the shock, but I still had to run down the stairs after it …

Shaking his floaty head, he responded “Sorry man, I really can’t do anything … The old man may be rather sympathic but that kind of thing would just get me fired ...” he said, putting a metaphorical hand on my shoulder to reconfort me.

“When does he usually get back ?” I asked in a sigh

“Depends, usually after a few hour, rarely days ...”

Oh yeah, for those who were asking themselves, there is no such thing as a daylight cycle in this place, it’s always lightened by a bright white ambient light. The whole time system is thus more like guidelines than actual rules … Like the pirate code !

“Great … Well, no choice, I will wait then ...” I responded dispirited.

“The waiting room is over there, make yourself comfortable. I need to stay here in case someone comes to the reception seeking our service.”

Waving goodbye to my new friend Jeff, the sympathetic floaty soul, I then dragged my feets to the waiting room. Dan is definitely gonna kill me when I get back ...

***

“I’m definitely gonna kill him when he comes back !” Shouted Dan, still fulminating.

“He is already dead though ...” Responded David in a nonchalant tone

“... I know that, this was a figure of speech. Also stop making fun of me, I’m your boss, you owe me respect !” Shouted Dan

“Sure boss, but before you get rid of him, have him finish my pedicure first.” Said Brenda

“Yeah, and I want my scotch !” Said Stan

“... I won’t fire him, probably ... I need a few idea for an interesting punishement ...” Said Dan, still fulminating

“If it’s ideas you want, I might have few” Continued a smiling Stan while taking a sip of his drink.