“Cyndric, two cappuccino for me and Ben, and pronto, we don’t have all day”

“Yes, on it sir” I responded while serving Stan, another giant.

I then ran, well floated would be more accurate, to the reserve. Proceeding by hand making the coffee after changing back to my humanoid from, using state of the art coffee filter and grinder.

Serving the old fashioned, high quality coffee into a mug, I then changed back again to bedside lamp me before hurrying to bring it back. Carrying it atop my head like a moving service plate ...

Only to be thanked by the usual …

“Taste like shit, make me another one ! Don’t screw up or you’re fired !” from Dan, my new boss. I then ran back in the reserve, I threw away what was left in the mug after Dan’s tantrum and served another cup from the exact same coffee pot . After waiting a bit just to make sure he wouldn’t get suspicious, I then served it again.

“Huuum, better ... Next time don’t make we wait, now out of my sight !”

To which I responded with the usual “Yes sir” that I was mandated to shout at all time when responding to Dan. Dan was an old, angry, grumpy, army general that wouldn’t have it any other way …

A moron also, but I wasn’t about to tell him that...

I then slowly floated back to the reserve, happy to have him off my back.

Dan and Ben had their coffee, Nuts had, well it’s nuts. Brenda was out shopping today. Stan had had his usual scotch. Finally David had had his favorite sport drink, drink of which I am unable remember the name since it is uselessly complex. By the usual pattern, slave me could now easily enjoy a two-three hour break before having to serve my masters again ...

After changing back to a humanoid form, I sat my butt on the couch I had placed in the reserve. Nobody knew it was there, that or the other various personal items I had…

Over the years, this place had pretty much become my home, my haven of peace and quiet, the special place where I belong. I would be in deep trouble for various reason of any of the item present here were found out but I don’t really care.

Those giant like their place white and empty you see …

Something about it symbolizing purity … or some other dumb reason the author came up with …

Well it’s not like I would be found out, nobody but me ever came in here anyway …

That’s why it was my heaven of peace and quiet !

Now, to fill you up on what happened for the last twenty or so years.

Roughly speaking of course, I don’t really have a clock here. My notion of time are pretty messed up by now ...

As you know, Mark and me got employed, same job, different companies … Not like we weren’t happy to split. Both of us couldn’t stand the other after all, even if I do recognize we used each other for support when time were at their toughest.

My job can seem pretty bad by human standard, by I actually have it pretty good in this city…

You see, those giant who take great pride in calling themselves gods, have all an incredibly high ego. Common folk are banned to present themselves in front of them as anything else but a floaty soul, they take it as an offense for whatever reason …

Not all of them are dicks, of course, there are exception, like Jennifer, the secretary we met at the M.R.O.

They generally compete to show their status through appearances, wearing various kind of weird accessories to make themselves seem more important than others … Hilariously, it turns out they can’t make themselves bigger than five-six meter high because their own boss have an inferiority complex too !

So it turns out that in this place, size does matter, it is even a synonym of hierarchic position…

Hence why I keep changing back and forth... since I’m at the lowest level possible …

Changing form which, by the way, is possible since I get payed. Wouhou !

My first salary was one of those battery like device that allows me to store energy. It’s originally called a spirit battery and yup the author is slacking off again. I carry it in my pocket/butthole at all time and I can use it at any time to do various things I couldn’t do before.

To make it short, I can now change to any human sized form for short period of time and transmute small object from nothingness without any prospect of going bankrupt, anything bigger would be impossible however, I simply don’t have the funds…

The couch I’m sitting on took me quite a while to transmute for example, I had to do it piece by piece … It’s my proudest achievement down here. Of course I didn’t succeed on my first try, it took quite a few tries to get the materials and colors right but i’m now quite confident in my couch transmutation skills.

Through my trials and error, I also discovered that, similarly to my transmutation power that allowed me to create objects, I also had the power to destroy object by concentrating on them. It still costs energy of course, so I have been trying my best to minimize errors.

As you can expect, I’m barely paid what’s considered minimum wage around here but with the frugal lifestyle I have, it’s still enough to make small saving over long periods of time. If I wanted to get reincarnated instantly now, I would probably have just enough…

Because yes, like any other place, anything is possible with the right amount of money.

Provided I don’t get my spirit storage mugged from me along the way, of course ...

Mark did reincarnate by the way, just recently. Turns out he managed to seduce Jennifer, the kind M.R.O employee that had helped us find a job.

Probably one of the only giant out here who is no pretentious asshole by the way … at least one of the only good giants I met so far … The assholes are the large majority … it’s probably a recruitment criteria at this point !

To two lovebird then decided to get reincarnated together, using her various connections to not only do it instantly but also guarantee they would be together in their next life. From the very beginning to the very end, according to what they told me.

…

Personally, what I understand by that is that their reincarnation will both die together in a tragic way but apparently, that’s considered romantic around here …

…

Oh yeah, by the way, I probably never mentioned it but this plane is reserved for humanoid life-form. There are actually many other planes out there for all the other life-form in the universe.

Now for the definition of an humanoid life-form, that’s more complex. Basically, it refers to both the structure of the brain and of the body. Some creature that resemble human closely but have too different a way of thought would thus go elsewhere.

This is apparently something very important out here in the afterlife, the different species can even be seen as faction since it is impossible to reincarnate in a species that does not belong to your category. Something about body/mind-soul incompatibility … but I’m no expert in the subject so I won’t jump to conclusion.

Anyway, that would means that centaur, beast men, elves or dwarves, for example, will never be able to reincarnate as anything but humanoid creatures. Reciprocally other creature such as phoenixes, ponies or minotaurs cannot possibly reincarnate as humanoid creatures.

Provided of course, that all those creatures do exist…

People with my status have no right to know about those things and all I learned was learned through eavesdropping… so I’m not sure.

I did hear that there are some humanoid who give birth through eggs back in the line …

Also apparently all humanoid race can understand each other in this plane, even though they talked different language back in their mortal worlds.

That’s ok too, not the first thing that doesn’t make sense in this place. Whoever is in charge is obviously slacking off. Right author ?

‘… You’re getting annoying with that … I’m writing a story here, it would be impossible if every protagonist spoke a different language !‘ ~Author

Well, how convenient for you. If you don’t want me to complain, then at least work harder and invent some bullshit reason, don’t just make it happen ! Also write faster ! Chop, chop, the readers are waiting !

‘… and what do you think I’m doing right now ? ...’ ~Author

Yeah yeah, whatever, moving on !

‘...’ ~Author

You may have guessed it, but all that species stuff actually has a lot of implication out here. All the gods of this plane strictly work on humanoid species and only those. Should they work on any other species, they would quickly trigger a political mayhem on the level of multiple planes…

Now why do those gods lose their time with taking care of the livings? You guessed it, it’s simply to ensure that we will never end up in a situation where all humanoid species were wiped out. Situation which would result with all humanoid souls being stuck in this plane …

At least until another fitting species appeared anyway ...

You may have guessed it with the extra-long length of the line, but humanoids are not currently at their best … fortunately, they are also still far from being in a bad position. That’s about all I know too, so I won’t extend on the subject for now…

Anyway, I don’t really care.

Even if I was powerful enough to be of use, I probably wouldn’t try to help. I’m fine living my life in this plane and I don’t see why I should help anyone else.

As I see it, if all those gods decided to build up this place instead of forcefully keeping it a boring white, nobody would want to leave from here !

I mean, this place is perfect !

There are no trouble of resources since you can transmute anything.

Similarly, there is no need to eat or drink. Yet you can still do it, just for the taste, and with no fear of ever being fat. To me this means dessert for each meal ! Well, if I had the money of course ... And how can you be sad when you have dessert for each meal ! That’s just not possible !

Also there are no physical suffering, as long as you don’t wish so by making yourself a nervous system of course. It all depends our your fetish. Of course, even if you don’t feel pain, that won’t make you invincible, you will still pass out in a fight ...

In short, no bad stuff, only the good stuff … you even get to choose what the good stuff refers to !

Should all the powerful people make giant barrels of beer, we would be able to party in here until the end of time. Those who like me, don’t like parties much would even be able to find some quiet place to play monopoly, since this place is fucking gigantic!

Now, the smartest among you have probably guessed why there is nothing as such.

It’s simply because the most powerful feel delight in trampling those below them, in having them under their command.

If the afterlife was changed into an Eden, faction would be created and they wouldn’t keep their important place forever. Since we can’t die here, it wouldn’t be surprising for thousands of floaty soul to band together and defeat a so called god.

Now imagine that scene with billions of billions of souls, and you would have a small picture of what would happen to those ‘gods’ in case it happened. In case they resisted however, this place would turn in some kind of hell...

With no chance to improve ourselves through reincarnation, we would be forced to accept their rules and do everything they want for all eternity…

At least that’s my understanding of it …

Ah yeah also, before I forget …

It finally solved the mystery of why I had an humanoid form back when I met the survey guy. Turns out there are higher planes created by gods, for gods. Planes where there are an important amount of latent energy through the air. The naked humanoid me was simply the form I unconsciously choose to wear back at the time.

Don’t ask me why, I simply have no clues …

It still is by the way, turns out I somehow find it far more comfortable compared to other appearances. In fact, dickless humanoid me and floaty me are nearly effortless to keep. To the point that wearing other appearance would quickly put me in the red … It just cost a bit to change between them, but no too much.

Well, at least I have solved the question about how to flip the bird at people when you have only four fingers. You just need to change yourself into a gigantic middle finger !