I’m not crazy. Does wanting to die make me crazy?

Is that so? Then I’m crazy…

Let’s talk about something else.

I’m tired of meat. I don’t think I’ll eat meat until I die! Those monsters didn’t let me collect wood to start a fire, so I had to eat it raw. Disgusting! I puked many times!

Have you tried raw meat? As soon as you kill the animal? With all the blood?

“Blergh.”

Let’s change the topic.

I wonder when I’ll start lactating. I’ll need to feed my daughters, and one is about to be born.

Speaking of being a mother. Can you believe I feel no doubt? I’m sure I can raise them without a problem. I’ve never been so confident in my life. To think I was literally born to be a mother. My only concern is to teach them moderation ‘cause I don’t want us to have orgies all the time.

Although I don’t care and will let people rape me, I hope I don’t need to have sex as much as before. I don’t want to feel sexual pleasure. Though most of the time, I never did.

When I thought back on all the times people raped me, I discovered something creepy. They tried to distort me. Each time they punched me in the face while raping me, they tried to change who I am. They wanted a submissive girl who’d enjoy being hit and would please their distorted fantasies. I can continue mentioning about girls who made me lick their anus, father and son giving me double penetration, and so on. But in all cases, it was the same. Be it through fear or pleasure, through pain or love, they wanted to change me.

That’s why I don’t want to have sex anymore. At least not in that perverted way. What if one time I don’t remember who I was and become their toy? Isn’t it creepy to think that you can lose who you are?

Who am I? I’m a mother waiting for her death in her daughters’ hands.

I don’t know what would happen to me if I somehow forgot about that to spend my days being fucked. Will my soul vanish into nothingness for not taking my punishment? Will perverts absorb me and make me their food? What’ll happen to me when I die, I wonder? Will Cara be there? Can I apologize? Will she hate me? Of course she will.

Shut up! I’ll talk about Cara as much as I want! She was everything to me. Miry? Yeah, she called me stupid. No, I won’t forgive myself.

I find some berries, so I grab all of them and eat as many as I can. I breathe in relief and enjoy the taste.

Fu~. I missed it a lot! Something tasty after four months!

I continue walking, with the monster following me. I cross some rivers, find some nuts, and even lick moss. It’s perfect; I can’t help but feel amazing!

You would be like me if you ate snails, spiders, worms, birds, rats, and all kinds of disgusting things. I forgot what being happy was like.

Yes, I can say I’m happy. I can tell my daughter in my womb is happy too.

What you eat can really improve your mood. That makes me think; as a pregnant woman, what do I need to eat? I hope I don’t need meat. Fish is okay though. The monsters didn’t bring any, so I didn’t have the misfortune to eat it raw.

I hope I can find some mushrooms. Some edible ones.

After resting for a while, I go search for mushrooms. I look around the trees without success. It’s getting dark, so I start a fire and prepare for sleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night. I heard a cracking noise.

My daughter!

I look around for the ball of goo, but it’s nowhere. I stand and look around, but even the monster is gone.

Calm down. Just close your eyes and listen.

I hear the cracking sound again, and I rush towards it. What I see freezes my blood. There are people with black paint over their bodies eating the goo, and one of them put his penis in my daughter's mouth!

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

My breathing becomes rushed. I feel my blood going to my head, and I’m ready to kill.

They look at me and smile. They’re insane, but I won’t back down!

“GIVE ME MY DAUGHTER.”

They surround me without saying a word. The man pleasuring himself with my newborn keeps going as if I didn’t exist. I grit my teeth and sprint between them towards the man. I punch him as hard as I can, but he doesn’t move. Another punch, but he keeps using my daughter to pleasure himself.

With no choice left, I take out his eyes with all my viciousness. Still, he is unfaced. I try everything but I can’t stop him. The others just mock me with their smiles. My desperation makes me use my last resort. I undress and kneel, opening my mouth. He leaves my baby alone and approaches with all the other men. They rape me until I can’t move.

Is that how you’ll live your life? With your face in the mud? Covered in other people’s fluids?

What else can I do?

Fight! Stand up and fight!

I will lose.

So what?! Did Cara give up?!

I’m not her and will never be.

Why are you so sure? What if I told you that everything Cara had, you have it too?

That would be great. But I’m a killer.

Do you think Cara never killed?

I’m sure. She was too good.

Uzziye —.

I wake up again and see myself tied. That bastard has my baby tied to his stomach and is poking her with his dick! I’ll kill him!

I hear a scream and sobs and see how they cut a woman’s arms and legs in front of her daughter being raped. I spot a magic circle made with blood and how they keep adding things to it. There’s an immense amount of skulls and other creepy things. On my left, I see the monster guarding me in pieces.

If I had to guess, the monster took my baby far from me so they wouldn’t harm me while I slept. He fought them but failed to protect my baby.

What do they want? Aren’t we all on the same side?

I stare into the eyes of that bastard and understand it right away. Only his side exists. There’s no us, only me.

They know who my baby is, but they don’t want to serve her. They want her power for them. She’ll become their pet if they do whatever they’re planning.