《Toxic Marriage》Chapter # 17
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Even if mine and Christian relation is not like before but dreads always linger on my heart. It's like one moment we are happy and all and then the next this all would turn out to be a dream and we're gonna be like before because I know he is afraid of love and if he saw any chances of sharing love, he'll become the disgusting devil that resides in his heart. I have no intentions of spending my life in that fear. He's caring but I feel uneasy.
I woke up before him. I turned to him and looked at him. He was sound asleep, I stare at his attractive feature.
After knowing him a little, I know his heart is pure and whatever he does is unintentional and he is a child at heart. But, in that unintentional deeds are sinful as he made feel defiled, hated and most importantly rejected.
Why the hell I am still stuck on that!?
No matter how good he is, I can't ignore what he did to me. I can't forgive him for what he has done. Every moment alone in that house made me shudder in apprehensions of remembering those fearsome days.
I don't know what I should do. Should I free myself from this tribulation or I break his facades and teach him how to love again? Should I forgive him and try to start my life anew with him? But if I try to give him a chance, he will shatter me again and I can't possibly live the rest of my life in a loveless marriage.
As soon as these thoughts crossed my mind, the reason for our marriage crushed them miserably. There's no love. But, he said that I am his. I want to know how am I related to him what is our relation.
Is our marriage is nothing but toxic?
Christian shifted as I sat up. He yawned and opened his eyes, "Morning.." He said sleepily.
"You have also learned how to greet?" I taunt him.
"Yeah.. from you." He said stretching as he also sat up. I chuckle as I replied, "Good morning."
"I'll learn that 'good' later." He said as he stood up.
"I'll go first! " I said as I also stood up and left for the bathroom.
I walked out and saw him laying on the bed.
We were having breakfast as I asked him,
"Christian, Can you drop me at Mother's place?" He hummed in response as I grinned. "Thanks.
"Take care," I said as I got out of the car. He just smiled and left. I entered and greeted Mother.
"Where's Eugene?" I asked.
"He's still sleeping." She said as I smirked and went to his room. He was sound asleep. I looked at him as my heart was filled with content. I am so happy to see you awake my brother. These years were so painful for us. I glad that you are awake now.
I looked at him for a second as I picked the jug on the nightstand and pour it on him and he woke up with a shout and panting,
"What the hell?!" He shouted as I laughed.
"A very Good Morning brother!" I grinned. He glared as he got out and I ran out of the room. "You're going to pay you pest!" He yelled as he ran after me.
"Catch me if you can, Sleeping beauty!" I yelled back as I ran down the stairs. We are in the hall, he on the left side and I am on the right side.
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"Watch yourself!" He shouted as he ran towards me. I stick my tongue at him.
"Both of you Enough!" Mother scolded as we looked at her.
"Mother look at her, what she did!" Eugene complained. "Oh, I was giving that stinky guy a wash!" I defended myself.
"Sophie. Say sorry to your brother," Mother said sternly. I giggle and clicked my tongue at him again, "Sorry. Beetle!" I said as I walked to the dining room.
Eugene came and rolled his eyes off of me and began to have breakfast.
"You are not eating?" Mother asked. I shook my head no. "I have already eaten."
"Here take a bite," Eugene said putting a bite of omelette close to my mouth. "I said I have eaten." I smiled. "You're not gonna eat by your brother's hand?" He said sadly. I shook my head as I took a bite. When I chewed on it my mouth burned due to spice and he began to laugh out loud. The spice of it was not normal for a human and I began to squeak and to drink water.
"Revenge is sweet~" He sang as he put the omelette aside and began to have his breakfast.
"You.." I hissed as he continued to laugh.
I sighed as I drank water and laughed a little too. He then took his breakfast as he asked while eating, "You completed your graduation?" I nodded.
"And what about studying further?" He asked again. "It's been almost three years since I have completed my graduation. I had my job so I didn't get time for it but I think I'll ask Christian about it." I said, twirling my fingers around my locks.
"So you're gonna do masters in English Literature?" He asked.
"Of course! You know I want to become a professor in English Literature." I stated as if it's obvious. "But, Will your husband allow it?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "The wife of a billionaire is a professor." He enunciates.
"What's wrong in that?" I asked perplexed.
"Christian won't have any objections," I said firmly but an anxiousness filled my heart.
"It's been three months of your marriage and you still haven't asked him about it. Are you sure you are not scared to ask?" He said, eyeing me suspiciously. I hate his straightforwardness. He just doesn't know what to speak when. He just spouts whatever he wants.
"I am not. And I forget to ask." I said giving him a bored look.
"How can you forgot about your ambition?" He inquired. He sure knows how to twist questions and take answers out of them. I know he is still stuck on why I married without telling him and now he has found another reason to taunt me.
"What? We are still a newlywed couple. I can talk to him about it whenever I want." I said. He shrugged his shoulders and stood up and left.
I looked at mother who was looking at me apologetically.
"What happened Mother?" I asked with a fake smile.
"Nothing Sweetie. It's..." She trailed off and looked down. I stood up and hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Oh, Don't worry," I reassured her as she smiled.
It's evening and I know Christian will pick me up on his way back from office. He does that often, he drops me at Mother's place and then goes to the office and then when coming from the office he picks me up.
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I and Mother are sitting in the hall as we were talking about trivial stuff. As silence fell upon us and I spoke up, "I can never let Eugene know that my marriage is a contract."
"Too bad, he already knows," Eugene said as he was leaning on the column. Our eyes widened as we stood up. He walked closer. "Your husband told me everything." He hissed in anger. "And I mean everything." It gave me chills when he emphasized on 'everything' it gave me a strange fright but when he said this, he glare impulsively at Mother who gulped in fear. "We will talk about it later, Mother." He growled and turned to me, "You think I am that stupid that I can't see the pain behind your eyes." He said as his eyes flicker with intense sorrow. I looked down in shame.
"Mother, Can you give me the keys to our house?" He asked.
"Why?" Mother asked in horror.
"I have no intentions of staying in someone else house." He said with venom.
"Please don't go Eugene." Mother cling onto his arm as he smiled sadly. Just in that time, Christian came, when he looked at Mother's crying form he asked, "What happened?" Eugene let out an empty laugh as he glared at Christian, "You. That's what happened." Eugene growled. Christian looked at him emotionless.
"Mother gives me the keys." He said firmly. "No, I won't." Mother cried.
"Stop it Eugene. Why are you doing this?" This time, I cried.
"Why? Look at you, Sophie. I can't meet your gaze. All this happened because of me and Mother." He said as a tear fell from his eye. I don't know why he added Mother on this but I am the one who agreed for this.
"You married him just for me." He said as tears rolled down his cheeks as I cried. "You married him. Just for me." He repeated himself.
"Just what that guy did to you that your eyes are so lifeless! You are not my Sophie!" He shouted. He pushed Mother aside.
"That guy who can use God knows how many women, he used you!"
"He, who is just toying with your feelings. He, who couldn't come back to you!" He continued to degrade Christian as Mother cling onto his arm crying and pleading him not to leave. But, I don't know why my heart pricked when he talked about Christian like that. Also, Christian looked away in shame. Why are they like this?
"He can never love-" I cut him off. "STOP IT!" I shouted. I wiped my tears as I gave him a seething look,
"Before saying another word about my husband, don't forget that fact if he isn't here you'll never be able to wake up. Don't forget you are standing in my husband's home. And I am his wife. If you talk any bad about him, I'll forget the fact that you are my brother, I have obligations as his wife and I will never allow you to degrade my husband. Watch what you say about him Eugene because I can also lose myself in anger and can say the things which can break your heart! So just shut up and don't you dare you to interfere in my married life! We both agree for this you can't blame him. Everything happens with my consent. So, Let me live my life, I don't want any compassion! That loveless marriage can't kill me but all you guys pity can! Leave me alone and let me live my life!" I cried as my words shocked everyone especially Christian. I began to sob loudly as my words left Eugene speechless.
After being stunned for a moment he said vaguely,
"Just what spell he has cast on you." He breathes out. He walked closer as he grabbed my collar. "Just you watch Sophie. I'll save you from this guy. You are free. Not a toy." He promised as I pushed him away.
"I don't need your help!" Why everyone wants to break me? After letting out an agonizing cry, I took a hold of Christian's hand.
"Let's go, Christian. Learn how to be grateful Eugene!" I yelled as we both walked out and I began to cry. "Sophie, walking away won't solve this. Go back and talk this matter out." Christian said softly. Trying to talk me out about it but to no avail.
"Please Christian... Take me home... Please." I wept. He opened his mouth but closed it afterwards. He just gave me a nod as we sat in the car and drove off.
I continued to cry as he looked at me sadly.
"Please Sophie.. Don't cry." He said hurt as if he was being hurt looking at me like this.
"You don't talk to me!" I yelled at him. He was taken aback as he looked down. The rest of the drive was filled with the sound of my sobs.
We reached home and the moment I took a step in I shouted,
"When I told you to not to tell him anything then why!? I told such things to my brother just because of you! Just why did you tell him?!"
"Look Sophie, I told him everything the next day he woke up. If you would have told me before, I wouldn't talk." My eyes widened for a second as I looked at him in disbelief,
"..What? He knew.. from the very start?" I said obscured as he nodded. "Great!" I said as I pulled my hairs in frustration.
"That's why he always laughed off when I talked about you. Great Christian! You made me fall low in my own damn brother's eyes! I can never look at him. Just much you want to degrade me!? I tried to show him that you are the best husband but only if I knew my Brother knows everything and now thinks of me as a fucking liar!" I shouted as I continued to cry.
"I was such an idiot to think that you want to start out relation anew. I thought we could at least be friends but.. you have proved that you just want to degrade me! You could have told me but..." I sobbed. "I hate you!" I said with pure hatred as I left him there.
I went to the bathroom as I washed my face but tears fall uncontrollably glistening my cheeks again.
Just what an idiot I was that I think we can ever be able to have good terms. He is just a heartless bastard. He should have at least told me that Eugene knew about it. What he should be thinking about me? What have I said to Eugene just for Christian?
Just what the hell you made me do Christian...
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