A woman with beguiling looks and charm which is impossible to resist was seen in the mirror. That woman's appearance can make anyone fall for her. Her bewitching looks, the enthralling form of hers; Like some fascinating angel who comes right from heavens. Her features enhanced a million times when the veil was put over her and she looked at her reflection for the last time.

The divinity thee may seem but not thou.

I can see what others can't. I can see everything but myself in it. I am not here. It's not me. It's a beauty, no, beauty is not enough to explain how I am looking; exquisite. The elegance and grace, it's not mine. They can see a lavishing wedding of a woman with angelic features with a man as handsome as ancient Greek Gods. The irresistible man of a perfect dominating aura. Fakeness is getting bound eternally with lust as a constant reminder of misery which leads to this day.

That's what they call facades.

The demeanour used to hide the actual one.

I stare with nullity because I can see what's behind that facade. I can clearly espy the upcoming devastation in the reflection, giving me chills. The irrefutable reality.

In mine, A 21 years old girl with dreams that are fulfilled but using the way that made her lose her integrity in her own eyes. The dis-relish feeling that she has to sell her innocence just for her brother to be treated well so that he can recover. Crushed dreams, a shattered heart which used to flutter with happiness, thinking that she'll meet someone who'll love her and swear to stay by her side in good and bad times, There's nothing there is only one feeling;

Toxic.

I am bounding myself in a toxic marriage which will be lethal for me. I give him what he desires and he gives me what I desire but He can't fulfill my desires; he can't give me Love. Love is something which will never be present between us. Our contract states so; Everything is based upon physical satisfaction.

Utterly broken and left with nothingness, loathing myself for my own selfishness...

I went to those gates of hell that are going to take my life out of me mercilessly. Without any compassion, hatred and desire will be released as I have to bear that fierce force all alone with no one to save me. It's okay, I am doing this for Eugene- this is the only consolation which kept me together or else I wouldn't be here in the first place.

I sometimes want to run into a desolate place where I live and no one else and I don't have to worry about anyone. No burdens, no pressure, no responsibilities.

We reached our destination and there's a whole crowd of media. My hands turned cold. My heart began to beat so fast as if it could leap out of my chest. I lost my strength and it seems like there are some shackles that are pulling me back. Cold sweat was released by my body in nervousness. Each step feels like I am walking over a path that is filled with thorns that are making me bleed but no one can see it. I spare a glance at my mother who hasn't said a thing to me except that I look pretty. I expect to hear empathy from her but no.

I felt my heart ache because at my wedding my mother is my only blood relative, others are friends and colleagues. My brother is not even present at my wedding. Instead of walking on the aisle with my brother, I am walking with my mother. And that no good Father of mine. It's not like I want him to come but still...

The deep scar I am going to receive today, I can feel it under my fingernails, giving convulsions to my very bones. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to contain myself. My heartbeat is not going to normal. In fact, nothing is going to be normal.

As we were walking to the altar for my sacrifice, my mother said something that somehow gave me courage,

"I am proud of you." I don't know whether I should be happy about it or not because I hate myself for doing this but I was left with no choice. I feel desperate as I reluctantly agree to escape our affliction. I don't know what's right anymore...

My whole being shivered from her words. I remained stoic, we reached the doorstep for a never-ending dread and repulse for me.

We stopped and Christian didn't even offer me his hand. I struggled and stood on the altar. But unfortunately, I stumbled a little and fell on his chest. Second-hand embarrassment. A feeling of being humiliated in front of so many people filled me. And he didn't catch me even then. He didn't bother to touch me and help me stand. I slowly pulled away and heard his voice,

"I won't touch you..." His voice sent shivers down my spine along with a spark of happiness that he won't touch me was turned into dread when he completed his sentence, "...Not before our marriage..." My eyes widened as I looked at him who didn't even touch me while I was glued to his chest.

I turned my gaze and pulled away not wanting to be crushed under the weight of this embarrassment. My heart pounded against my chest, deluging me in apprehensions.

We stood facing each other as I deeply hoped each second would pass as if it's a year or more. I want this moment to stop so that I won't have to proceed towards that virulent life but there's no turning back now. I can't go back now.

My eyes are fixed on the ground as I feel his penetrating gaze, which is gawking at my very soul. My cold hands held the bouquet tightly. My heart which is thumping faster by each passing second, My breath becomes uneven. I felt like I'll faint from this tensity. It's unbearable to stay composed in his predatory gaze.

Then I heard what my ears are wanting least to listen,

"Do you, Sophie Skye, Take Christian Elvis as your lawfully wedded husband?" I felt my ears ringing upon hearing that. I was at a loss of words. My throat dried as I opened my mouth to speak but no voice came out. I tried to speak but my vocal cord has stopped vibrating. By my lack of response, Christian's stare turned into a glare and due to fright, my trembling form managed to produce a quick faint sound, "I do."

My words didn't reach anyone's ear as the priest asked,

"Speak louder, my child." Swallowing hard, I narrowed my eyes and said in a soft but firm tone, "I do."

I want to cry. Please just for once, isolate me from the world and let me cry my heart out. That's my last wish. I just want to cry before losing myself in the bottomless pits of despair.

"Do you, Christian Elvis, Take Sophie Skye as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." He said in his deep commanding tone. The voice which made me shiver in dread.

"I pronounce you the man and wife." I closed my eyes as a tear fell from the eye as my heart skipped a beat from the words that immerse me in frights.

"You may now kiss the bride." He came closer as I turned numb and the sweat made me shudder. My mind became hazy with those undesirable thoughts. He pulled up my veil and my eyes met his dark gaze for a second as they formed a triumphant smirk on them. His lips are curved viciously, Adrenaline rushed in my veins as my heart skipped a beat. That look is enough for me to know what he is saying, 'We are married and you can't push me away now.'

He moved closer and held my chin. Indulging each moment, he lifted my chin and snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me close. I let out a gasp as I looked at his eyes; clouded by crepuscular feelings. Time passes slowly as if it has stopped. He moved closer and our lips brushed against each other. My dried lips made contact with his delicate lips as he kissed me. My first kiss to a guy who is almost a decade older than me. My first kiss to a person who doesn't love me...

The kiss started with delicacy but held no emotions. He moved his experienced lips tenderly and dazzlingly. But when he kissed me and I stood still; frozen as a tear threatened to fall but I didn't let it. His hand cupped my cheek to deepen the kiss- or I thought so. He wiped the tear that was present on the corner of my eye and pulled away. For a second I thought it was love but I know it better than anyone else that love is impossible in this toxic marriage, it is based on fulfilling each other's desires, nothing more, nothing less.

A feeling of heartbreak that my first kiss is without any love took over me.

He slowly pulled away and looked at me with a glint of sympathy.

The sympathy of pushing me in the abyss? Or The sympathy for what he'll do to me? I don't know..

He backed away but his hand was fixed on my waist, we turned to the crowd which was filled with cheer and the sound of applause, as for me, I am anything but happy...

We walked down as I wrapped my arm around his arm to show that we are a happy couple. To hide that agony inside me. We smiled as we walked. As we were walking I whispered, "Isn't there any relative of yours?" He said without looking at me, "No."

I looked at him with pity that he doesn't know how sweet relations are, they made you do something you never thought you would; Just like in my case.

I looked away as he let go of me and I gave my mother a final hug.

I began to cry, who knows when I'll feel that warmth again. I slowly pulled away and wiped my tears. Mother kissed my forehead and said,

"May you have a blessed married life."

I looked down as her words pierced my heart. Why is she saying such heartbreaking things? I didn't dare to meet her gaze again as I walked towards Christian and stood beside him. We walked out and he put his hand on my waist again, burning me in anguish. He walked with his head high, His superior glory; pride. We walked toward the limo and my heart skipped a beat by each step I took closer. I was filled with extreme apprehensions of what might happen to me.

My mind lost its senses as I was filled with consternation. My body began to quiver as truly terrific thoughts filled me. Losing myself in those horrific thoughts that made my soul leave my body.

My throat dried. I lost my energy, receiving prodigy that made me scared to no extent.

My heart stopped as I felt like I was dead for a moment when we reached his home. We both got out- I lost strength. I stopped outside the entrance of hell. The entrance of an eternal reality that has nothing but despair for me, nothing but the feeling of being a toy. Almost losing consciousness, I took a step and I thought that my heart would burst from beating that fast. My numb form walked behind him as he stopped and looked at me. My heart skipped a beat as I curled my toes to calm myself a little but no matter what I do, I can't calm down in his pernicious presence.

"Gwen will be your personal servant, if you need anything, tell her." He said and motioned towards her.

I exchanged looks from Gwen and then said, 'okay'. He then continued to walk and I followed him. By each step, I feel like the tears I held back so far will fall and I'll lose my senses. My lips were trembling. We climbed stairs as he led me through a corridor and then turned left. I carefully looked around so that I might not get lost in that castle- I mean mansion. Finally, after stopping in front of a room he opened it and motioned me to come in first. I shuddered in fear when I walked past him. I lifted my gaze and saw a room even bigger than my house. A room embellished so beautifully. A lavishing room. A master bed in the middle and a chandelier hung in the middle. Some plants in the corner. A portrait of him on the wall. Furniture worth more than I can imagine.

I squeaked when I heard the sound of the door being closed and locked.

"Welcome to this Toxic Marriage..."