《Angel | ✓》18 - Tears
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I gasped, pulling myself up into a sitting position as I looked around the room frantically. Clutching my chest, I could feel my heart pumping rapidly, and when I looked behind me, I saw that my heart rate was beating 152 per minute and it felt as if all of my senses were advanced.
My eyes were sharp and zoomed to places all around the room, everything being more defined than before, and my vision went near the back of my head.
The guards outside- I could hear their breathing, and people walking past them, even further than that if I could listen hard enough, and to make it worse everything I touched was like a different texture, as if it was my first time.
What did they do to me?
My whole body felt so strange. It was tingling all over but mostly my back hurt like hell. What did Francis do?
I tried to get up and off the bed but was stopped by the same wires that I ripped off before, restraining and holding me to the bed yet again.
Groaning, I laid back down, only to shoot back up with strong pain in my back. It felt like thorns were trying to stick through my skin, and they only pushed back further as I sat down.
What did he do to me?
All I could do was sit there helpless, not knowing what to do next. I didn't have the motivation to run away anymore, I've tried and failed twice. Only to fall back in his clutches again, worse than before.
With all these thoughts in my head, they all came to a stop as my ears perked up with the sound of someone walking outside. The footsteps seem familiar, but how did I know that? The person stopped outside my door and it was as if I could see the tenseness of the mystery person. After a minute the door came open and I felt the tears well up in my eyes.
"What did he do to me, Xavier?" I question so quietly that I thought he didn't hear me for a second, except he lowered his head in regret as the brunette took a seat on the chair next to my bed.
"You've been out for four days," he mumbled, still not answering my question.
"Answer the question. Xavier." I demand, my jaw tensed in overwhelming anger.
All he did was stay quiet, aggravating me more. He had to give me an answer. I refused to ask Francis.
"What did he do to me, Xavier!" I screamed, my patience wearing thin. The tears I had tried to hold back poured down my face. I held my face in my hands, making me fret even more from the new feeling.
Thankfully he finally, looked up at me, eyes glistening with water.
"He made you like himself."
I was stunned but more pissed, to say the least.
That bastard made me like him?
I couldn't leave?
So, he could torture me?
As if that was going to stop me!
Although rout the inside of me was running on anger, the outside of me was frozen, my fists and jaw clenched. My eyes widened, back hunched with the pain, he did this. Xavier was now standing up, looking down on me with sorrow.
"Valentina.." he sighed and tried to reach over to me to pat me on the shoulder, but before he had the chance I looked at him with a scrunched-up glare and he backed away.
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"Get out," I demand, feeling the unshed tears in my eyes now pour and I saw him look back at me in shock but didn't move.
"What?" I spit. "Did you not hear me? I said get out!" I end with a scream, feeling my blood boil with anger. How dare he do this to me? Why wouldn't he just kill me instead? Do all of this some sort of torture? I grab my head in pain as the white noise in my ear returns and from the side of my eye, I see Xavier approaching me but I yell before he can touch me.
"Get away from me! I never want to see him again! Never, never, never!" I yell, my voice breaking from the saying 'never' but it felt as if I couldn't stop. My whole body was in pain and it was all his fault.
Looking at Xavier fully this time, there was hurt in his eyes as he stared at me once more. But another look was enough to get him to leave.
I was seething in anger. I had trusted in him once, twice even. No. More times than I can even count. But all of that was gone now.
I hated him. What I said was true. I never did want to see him again.
I ripped off all the cords and threw them on the floor as I slid out of the hospital bed. The room was small, but barely lit with one light, even with my 'new' eyesight, I could only faintly make out the outline of another door beside the entrance, so I walk and open it, revealing a bathroom.
It was a classic 80s one, with blue floor tiling and matching-coloured walls. A white sink with a cabinet mirror. Then a shower and a toilet on opposite sides of the room.
As I opened the door, I was instantly faced with myself in the mirror.
I looked horrible. My hair was greasy and knotted, a bird's nest, my eyes dark with grief and heavy bags under them and my skin was dulled since I hadn't had a shower for days.
The tiles were cold on my bare feet as I stepped into the enclosed room, but it felt nice. I stumbled over to the sink and gripped onto each side of it as another wave of pain pushed me, I held onto it so hard that my knuckles went white.
It hurt me more emotionally. Francis had betrayed me. I thought he would understand that I couldn't stay with him, that it would be wrong to stay, but all he does is go along and make me like him, to torture me. I wanted to feel angry and pissed at him, but all I felt was hurt.
The tears returned in my eyes and dropped from my cheek to the cold material. I cried out in the emotional pain, the hurt, making me clench my knuckles even further.
That's when I heard a crack. My head snapped to the sink to see a snaking crack from my right hand to the tap.
Did I do that?
I lifted my hand, staring at it. Was this a part of the side effects? Strength?
I shook the thought off as my body yearned for cold water, so I walk to the shower, drew the curtain and turned the water on. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the water, letting out a sigh.
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It felt good to release the tension. A sad smile even crept onto my face, and I sat down and hugged my body. I let the water run down my hair, onto my face and alongside my tears.
How am I supposed to get out of this?
I was waiting for Xavier to come back from visiting Valentina.
Why didn't I go with him? Because I already knew that she would hate me if I told her, so I got Xavier to do it for me- if she was even awake now.
He had been checking up on her for 3 days since she was given so many sedatives to stop her pain and now she hasn't moved or shown any sign of consciousness. She'd had so many outbursts after I'd seen her, waking up suddenly during the surgery and screaming. But the doctor said that this was probably natural and that she would be awake soon.
What if she had a blind rage if she was awake now? No, it's too early for her abilities to be forming now. And the guards outside her door would hear, then come to inform me.
I was sitting in my office, at my desk, waiting for the doors to open, taping on the desk to pass the time.
Tapping was the only thing to be heard as my mind was a whirlwind of my love.
I didn't want to hurt her like this. I want to make her see that this was best for her, and her new life will be amazing... with me. She would be the Queen of this gang, and everyone would respect her as she would stand by my side.
We would train together and take night flies together. We would maybe even kiss one day. All of it could be possible without this stupid disorder burdening me.
The door swung open, and Xavier walked through, making me snap out of my fantasy. He was having a different reaction than all the other days he checked on her. She was awake.
"How is she?" I demanded he tells me, I stand up and let him come in front of the desk.
"She awake," he sighs and avoids my eye contact.
"And?" I wait for the catch.
"She said she doesn't want to see you, never," he finishes and my heart sinks.
I knew I should've been expecting this reaction, but I couldn't help but ache inside. I slid back down in my chair.
She never wanted to see me. I replayed it in my mind. My head sank into my hands and Xavier stood there watching.
How could I think that this was all going to work out? I had never been in love or felt the slightest bit of emotion of love for anyone before, and then I had to go and fuck it up with the one woman I wanted to be mine forever.
"Dismissed," I sighed as I sunk further into my seat.
I want her.
I need her.
I let out a long sigh as I exited the cold shower and dried myself with a towel.
It felt nice, the pain in my back was slowly rising again but it wasn't too much to stress about, yet.
As I wrapped the towel around my body and was just about turn the door handle to go back to my room, I heard the door squeak open, making me freeze.
I didn't know who it was, but I'm not taking the chances of it being him.
I store at the door handle, waiting for the person to say something, anything. And finally, a hushed voice was heard from the other side of the door.
"Valentina?" it asked, waiting for me to respond.
I knew it wasn't Francis or Xavier because it was a feminine voice, but it sounded rougher and after a few moments of thinking, I remembered the voice.
"Quinn?" I squeaked as I opened the door a tiny bit and saw her looking around the room, confused, but her eyes widened when she saw me.
"Ah- um, sorry. I can come back later!" she exclaimed and turned to exit the door, but I stopped her.
"It's okay," I mumbled and fully opened the bathroom door and exited it.
Quinn and I stood there, not moving a bit, just standing there, and staring at each other. What do I say?
"Didn't take my advice, huh?" Quinn said quietly, making me turn my gaze from the floor to her.
"I guess so," I laughed sadly, no humour in my laugh. We hadn't talked since when I ate lunch with her, that was nearly a week ago and so much had happened since then.
"Defiantly should've," I sighed under my breath and the room was, again, engulfed in silence. But I broke the stiffness as I moved from standing at the door to sitting on my bed since my back was too sore to lay down with.
I don't think either of us knew what to say to each other, but since I hadn't listened to her, I felt the need to at least have someone to talk to.
"Would you... like to watch a movie?" I suggested as I fiddled with the TV remote in my hands, looking into my lap and out of the corner of her eye, I could see her face light up with glee, making my mood jump a little.
I don't know what made me say that, but I think I needed someone to talk to. It was nice to see a positive attitude in a grim place like this.
As I chose a movie, she sat down next to me, but not too close, thankfully.
She talked most of the time and I barely said a word, but I didn't mind. I just enjoyed having some company. She was funny but I knew she had a scary persona to show.
When the movie ended, she got up and flopped back on a comfy armchair in one of the corners of my room and snuggled into it, as I looked at her with confusion she looked back with a smile.
"I can't be bothered walking back to my room," she sighed, and I nodded, waiting for the following. "Would it be okay with you if I stayed?" she asked hopefully, and I nodded.
She turned the lights off, and the buzzing of electricity that I had started to hear all day stopped and all that was left was the shuffling of me trying to get comfortable.
It felt nice to have a friend in this horrible place.
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