My face is on fire. It's beyond embarrassing. I can't believe I did... all of that. All of the last few moments.

Alnue snickers at me, blowing out his cheeks and chortling to himself.

"It's not that funny," I defend myself... albeit weakly.

I guess it's funny if it happens to someone else. Not so hilarious when I'm the one who became all hot and bothered then nearly ended Thane's ability to lead a normal life with my clumsiness.

I check on Poppy, smiling when I find her sleeping on Ililie's chest. The big Basru gives me a wink and goes back to talking quietly with Nasir. Both males are grinning as they sneak glances at me.

What must I look like?

Inside the barracks I find a mirror that I imagine must be Esa's and see myself. Internally I groan at, but on the surface I simply straighten up my spine and fix my mouth into a thin line.

My hair is mussed, lips swollen and red, my teeth are tiny pinpricks of white against my mouth. A small splash of Thane's blood is staining my robes dark purple. My eyes are bright and healthy, but the most obvious sign of my tryst with the Basru Captain is the blush that is spread all over my cheeks.

I look guilty.

I splash some water on my cheeks, trying to bring down the glow to something more manageable. I can't even tell myself that I was just feeding from Thane. I wanted him. I wanted his hands to find their way under my robes. I wanted to meld our mouths together and kiss him until I ran out of breathe. I wanted to trust him with my body.

I want so badly to trust him. But I'm scared.

I admit that I'm scared.

I'm afraid of my feelings for Thane when Thelios is still under Love's thrall. He... the way he looked at me in the mountains...

Like a predator; possessive, angry, and so very cruel. He was shocked to see me, and for a moment I felt that warmth, but then his warm grey eyes held nothing but cold, jealous rage. What lies has she said to him? Worse, what does he remember?

Does he love Inanji? Was our time together stolen as much as his memories were?

But he's my Fated. And so is Thane.

"What do I do, father?" I muse out loud. Nothing about this is easy. Too much rides on my shoulders.

Go home

I will protect you

Worry and dread strike me hard. Worry for my father, who is stretching himself thin to influence the above. Dread for returning to the broken temple that was my safety for nearly two years.

"Alright," I whisper.

I check on Poppy again. Ililie has fallen asleep. Both of them are drooling as Momo curls up on top of Ililie's legs, asleep, too.

I walk back to the Mausoleum. The world is grey and shadowed as darkness steals over the city. I hear none of the activity of before. War is quiet as everyone settles in for the night.

It is the time of Death. Twilight.

The hedgerow is partially destroyed, but my hole is there. I almost smile when I see it. Father still has his sense of humor, I see.

I dropped to my knees and crawl through, trying to prepare myself as I stand up.

I'm not ready for what I see. Up close, the devastation that has been wrought here is physically painful.

Clutching my chest, I hurry past broken slabs of white burial stone. My slippers trod over shards and dust, through dirt and sand as if nothing has ever grow here. Every tree and bush has been uprooted, their bare winter branches stretched upwards to the sky as if seeking relief from their own deaths. Cairns are open, shattered to pieces, bone from this city's ancestors scattered as if they mean nothing.

Claw marks score the doors into the hallway from the gardens. I could ignore the door completely. Only a hand away a demon-sized hole is torn through the wall. The door is still shut and locked, a fact that makes the tears tumble down my cheeks.

I turn the mechanism carefully, opening the door on creaking hinges.

Inside the halls I am struck dumb again. There was a foolish, childish part of me that wanted everything to be the same when I opened the door. The kitchens are just to my right and typically I would smell the baking of bread and Postite's soup bubbling away at all hours of the day and night. Torches would be lit, fires heating the chimneys to keep the winter chill at bay.

It is silent, cold, and smells of the oils of death and nothing else.

My breaths are raspy from tears as I move towards the library, wincing at the evidence of the First House army's attempts at burning the building.

Everything is broken in here.

I keep going, trying to reach my little suite of rooms in the floor below, but too much of the temple complex has collapsed. I can't get to the basement. I may actually be in the basement already.

I wander for what feels like hours before I finally muster up the courage to see my pool... or what is left of it.

The hushed feeling of the sacred is missing as I wander down the hall toward the sacred pool. The huge double doors are gone missing. Probably lost to one of the bonfires somewhere.

My father's temple room was not spared Thelios' wrath. The parapets holding the roof that so entranced me the first time I saw it have been pulled away from the walls, collapsing part of the roof.

My father's statue... turned over, half-sunk into the pool. His face has been defiled, his eyes chiseled out.

I start to sob.

Stone is stone daughter

"I h-hate him!" I sob. I fall to my knees next to the pool and dip my hands into the water. It's cold. The fires underneath, always burning, are out.

"This was my pool, father. Our place. He d-destroyed it." I cry for what seems like days before my father interrupts me gently.

Look daughter

I look up. The base of my father's statue is still in place, broken off just above his booted feet. I frown, staring, at the hollow space revealed in my father's feet.

There's a stone tablet there. I climb into the pool hastily, soaking my robes in icy water. Immediately it stings my skin, the freezing temperature sending prickles of pain through my body. I ignore it all, sloshing my way over. The weight of my sodden robes makes it hard to climb out, and I can only lift myself partially out of the water with nothing to really grasp, but I manage to snatch the tablet out of the hidey-hole.

Clutching it to my chest, I look at the tablet, teeth chattering.

It's small and unlike all of the tablets in the library, this is carved into onyx black stone, just like my father's statue. The tiny, perfect writing is carefully spaced out on just one side.

Love is First

She Claims all as Hers

She is the Mistress of all Heart's Binding

She is Light and Joy

Grief is Last

She is Claimed by All

She is Shadow and Sorrow

She is the Mistress of all Bound Hearts

Without Love there is no Grief

For You cannot Grieve what you did not Love first

For Grief is the Purest Form of Love

"That's terrible," I whisper. "I'm sorrow and shadows and she is joy? Does that mean that Thelios truly loves her? Were my males right to forsake me?"

No daughter

Inanji is not entirely evil

But you are entirely good

Your claim will erase hers

It is your choice

"But, father... I want them both," I whisper my secret shame in the broken temple. "I will destroy them... because they will destroy each other if they know."

My robes are frozen solid to my skin, but I feel warm.

Well then

Do not allow them to

I hold the tablet close to me and turn to wade back to the edge of the pool. It's odd, but I don't feel cold anymore. If anything, my blood feels overly-warm, pumping through my body too quickly.

I climb out of the pool. Water is dripping from my robes onto the floor. My skin feels tight, as if it's practically steaming.

"So hot," I murmur. I rip off the outer robe, feeling nauseous suddenly. My fingers pull at my remaining clothes, scratching my skin in my haste to disrobe.

"Too hot, it hurts," I pant out. Black spots are dancing in front of my eyes. I lay down, panting, writhing on my robes. I try to crawl back to the pool, to it's icy water, but I can hardly move.

"Thelios," I murmur, "Thane."

---

"Where the fuck is she?" I seethe, shaking the poor guard with one clawed hand. His dangling feet kick helplessly.

"Ah, Captain? He can't answer if he can't breathe."

I toss the guard aside, his small growl and flashing fangs letting me know he's a shifter.

I turn to face the assembled crowd. Most of my Basru is here, with the exception of Ililie, who is entrusted to care for Strawberry. There are a few Recondites, too, and some soldiers of War, all eyeing me warily after I just tossed a bear shifter as if he were a sack of grain.

"Where was she last seen?" I ask hoarsely.

"Moments after you and she-" Nasir quickly bites off the rest of his words.

"She's probably just hiding a bit, Captain," Holsten offers. There's a twinkle in his eyes.

I step into his space and all of the knowing smirks fall away. "I would know, Basru, if she were here. She is not within distance of any of us, which means the hand of a god took her from us. If that god is not her father, then who? Tell me who?!" I roar in his face.

Bloodletter catches my attention then, squeaking and leaping about while pointing. I stalk after him, my warriors on my heels.

I stare at the hole in the hedgerow in disbelief.

"That wasn't there just earlier today," one of the Recondites says in disbelief. "We... she used it, before. Months ago. Belen..." he swallows as I glare at him. "Belen and I caught her. She used to sneak back and forth through there to see-"

"Shut your mouth," Lier snaps.

My body is rigid. She snuck here to see Thelios. It hurts. I let my wings spread out, despite the tight space and the males hovering well within the wingspan. Let them duck out of my way. I have a goddess to catch.

Bloodletter and Mouse lead the way. Mouse is in my arms, curled up, sniffling as he looks at the destruction of my Princess' home. Poor creature is so horrified he braved my rage for comfort.

They lead me to what was once a soaring, sacred space dedicated to Nateos. His sacred pool.

I exhale on a sigh. I should have guessed she would come here. My poor Princess, to suffer this loss, this hurt. Hasn't she been through enough?

I walk in much calmer than I was moments ago. I just need to see her, to make sure she's safe.

"No! Fuck me, this is a disaster." I take a deep breath, almost choking on my eagerness to inhale the scent of her in the air.

Mouse leaps from my arms and hurries away. There's a part of me that wants to follow, but I can't. My feet are stuck to the floor as if I've dug my claws into the stone. My demon is watching, tongue hanging from his mouth like the lustful dog he is.

My Princess is nothing but creamy skin and red hair. It's a more beautiful sight than anything I've ever seen as she writhes and calls for me from her nest of grey robes. Long limbs part, giving me a glimpse of red curls hiding paradise. She purrs at me, arching her back.

She has freckles across her breasts. I want to kiss each one.

"Thane," she calls for me. My demon responds, taking a step before I can think to stop.

No. I force myself to pace away from her, shoving my hands through my hair. How is this happening? "You're not even a shifter, not wolven, how is this happening? Why?!"

"Thane, it hurts," she plaintively calls for me. One lean arm stretches toward me. "Make the pain feel better." My demon shoves me forward. I have to concentrate for a moment to keep from ravishing our beauty.

No! Not ours. Not ours, I chant in my head.

"No, Mara, Princess, I can't... I can't be near you right now, Princess. Fuck!" I scream. Her scent grows stronger, hotter. Her lips are red as blood, her pale skin gleaming in the light from the starry sky above. She is sensuous, ethereal, beautiful.

"Please?" she begs and begs while I pace and curse and snatch at my own hair to keep from grabbing her.

"It burns," she sobs a little.

My Princess. She hurts. It hurts her. Heat. In the First House this was shameful, to suffer this. It meant that you were a shifter, an animal, not a pure Tasuri demon. My goddess is an Acera. She shouldn't be in Heat.

Love, that fucking whore did this.

"I can do this, I can," I breathe. Slowly, I fall to my knees, trying to not inhale too deeply. My demon fights with claws and teeth, hissing and snarling for me to move. I go down on my hands and begin to crawl. I don't deserve to go faster, to be higher than a worm who will serve her and nothing else.

"I'm going to touch you, my Princess. Do not touch me in return. Stay where you are and I will help you, alright?" I manage to say in a low voice.

She arches her back, humming in pleasure. "Yes," she purrs, "touch me. That will be nice."

"Don't speak either!" I grind out, fighting my every instinct, my demon, to pounce and take and fill her. "Just stay as still and quiet as possible, right?"

"But it hurts me," she whispers. "You will feel so good, Thane. So very good."

I'm by her side and the power makes my entire body shake. I swallow copious amounts of liquid pooling in my mouth at her scent. I'm a barely leashed animal and only one memory has allowed me to keep my sanity.

I killed her.

Slowly I reach for her, unfurling my fingers to touch bare skin. I gasp, sucking in a heat-filled breath before trailing my fingers up her thighs.

"Oh, yes, please," she gasps out.

I massage her thighs. My rough, thick, calloused fingers rubbing and rotating. I try to relieve her pain without violating what little trust she has for me.

She mewls in displeasure. "More!" she demands waspishly.

I ignore her by the slimmest margin. She heaves a growling sigh and snatches my wrist, trying to move my immovable hand to where she thinks she needs it.

Her touch on me is my undoing. My hand falls, cupping her soft curls over her mound, curling through the slick desire already coating her most intimate place.

"Easy, Princess. There you go," I say raspily.

"Yes, there," she praises me. "So good, my Basru Captain. So very good."

"Captain? What the fuck are you doing?" Lier comes into the room, a heavy scowl on his face. He stops short a few feet through the door and deeply inhales. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Come to me," my little hussy purrs at the suddenly ashen-faced male.

My demon snarls horrifically, a warning to stay back. This is his female. He is pleasuring her. She praised his efforts so she doesn't need another male.

Lier wisely leaves.

"Why doesn't he want to touch me, too?" she asks me with the sexiest pout on her face.

"He wants to keep his hands, Princess."

"Oh. Keep doing that," she tells me, Lier dismissed. "I want your fingers in me," she demands. Her hips arch up, towards my fingers.

"No, Princess," I warn, my other hand clamps down on her hip to keep her in place. Every part of her is silky smooth perfection.

"But I want it," she whines, letting out a frustrated sob. I gently rub her slick heat in small circles, knowing that I've got the right rhythm when she starts to moan.

"I know, I know you do, Beautiful."

"Don't call me that!" she sobs out, suddenly. "You don't think I'm beautiful!"

"Of course I do," I soothe. Nothing dampens my own ardor more than hearing her say this.

"No," she shakes her head back and forth on the robes, "you said I wasn't as pretty as her. She has my male, Thane. I'm so hot!"

"Easy, Princess, you are the most beautiful Lady I've ever seen. Nothing can possibly compare to you," I move my fingers faster, keeping the rhythm that is making her gasp and move with me. I grit my teeth, sweat beading. The first wave of her orgasm rolls over her, over my fingers, soaking me.

"Oh, thank you," she rolls her hips on my hand as the last of it fades away.

"Gods, save me. Nateos, you never warned me that my duties included this agony," I murmur.

Tears prick her lashes. "Do you hate me so much, Thane?" she whispers.

"I love you more than words can possibly say, Princess."

"Then why won't you fuck me?" she sobs breathlessly.

"Because, you don't love me, Princess," I respond. "Let me take care of you. I'll do a good job, I promise."

She whimpers, tossing her head as her Heat rises again. So fast, barely any time to prepare.

Tear-filled eyes meet my own. "Close your eyes and pretend that I'm her," she spits.

My fingers freeze. She moans in agony and I quickly start to rub her again.

"That's who you want, right? You want Anthea, your wife." Her dark eyes flash at me.

"I never wanted her," I tell her quietly.

"Liar! You were with her, even when you were courting me, you had her in your home, in your bed!"

"I was an arrogant fool, Princess."

She snarls and suddenly, without any warning, my delicate, beautiful Princess flips me over onto my back. Straddling me, nude and wet from the pool and her own desire, she grinds against me, her sweet core rubbing the stone dick in my pants.

Primal need scorches me again. Growling, I flip her around again, on her hands and knees. "Take me, you disgusting betrayer," she snarls. "You owe me this!"

I know she isn't in her right mind. I know it's the Heat driving her, forcing her. But her insults are driving my demon insane with the desire to gain her submission.

The war is raging in my head. She glares at me over her shoulder. "Fuck your little Fated whore, Lord Thane."

I bellow in fury, my own anger drowning out all sense of anything but the gorgeous female taunting me. My demon urges me on. She's ours, ours to fuck and punish for her tart little mouth.

I free myself and pound into her willing body. "Is this what you want, you naughty little female?" I growl. The sound of flesh slapping flesh fills the air along with my own grunts and her moans of need and pleasure.

"Fuck you, Thane."

I snarl and rip off my shirt. "I am, sweetheart."

"Is that what you called her? Your wife? Sweetheart?" she lets out her own snarl.

I growl threateningly. "What did you call your husband?" I sneer. "What did he call you when he fucked this sweet little cunt?"

"Don't you talk about him!" she shouts. "You're both betrayers! You were both supposed to be mine!"

I flip her onto her back and thrust back in. "I am yours, female!"

"Liar!" she screams in my face.

I roar in her face just as I hit my peak. She follows, biting down on my shoulder again. It heightens everything. I feel like I'm pouring my very soul into her.

I collapse onto her, pinning her underneath me. I need her to stay, for at least a moment, until I catch my breath. Then she can tell me that this was a mistake.