《Mara - The Lady Grief (Completed)》38 The Path You Seek

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I feel a tug on my waist. Thane guides me backward, bringing me back to the group on the rise below. Night has fallen completely. There are no lookouts in the sky and I wonder why. No wings can be seen. Is it that dangerous in the city?

Thane picks me up like a baby as I weep into his shoulder.

"We head north of the city," he discusses with Lier quietly. "I'd like to send you in, but I don't know how your Recondite friends will react to your re-appearance."

"Not well, not in wartime."

"We'll send in Ililie and Nasir, then. Ililie, you good with that? Your cat and Nasir's snake are the best in this situation. Stick low to the ground."

They start walking, our group heading back out into the desert. To go north, I suppose.

"You want us to make contact, Captain?"

I lift my head to look at Thane. "No. They'll think you belong to the First House," I tell him.

He nods, gently readjusting me so that I don't strain my neck to look at him. "Reconnaissance only. No contact if you can help it. Find a way inside War if you can."

"Bring Belen or Hanish out to us," Lier says thoughtfully. "Maybe the First House status will help us, who knows?"

"You're thinking spy tactics?" Thane muses.

I shake my head. "Love," I croak.

He skims his lips over my forehead, "true, Princess. We don't know if the goddess is in the First House. She'll know what we are, now."

He kissed my forehead. I hide my face in his shoulder again. I'm not going to think about it. I don't think I can, with the waves of grief in the city and from my Postites and poor Harku still curled up tightly in my arms.

"Mama?" Poppy's voice penetrates the fog of frightened confusion.

"Poppy?" I say blearily.

"Shh, Strawberry. Stay with Ililie. We need to go fast, alright?"

"'Right," she says sleepily.

"Any signs of refugees coming this way?" Lier asks as Rolle races over in his wolven form.

Rolle shifts back to feet, shaking his head. "There's nothing but desert out here. All the way north up the river. It's quiet out there. Like the gods themselves are waiting."

"We only need a safe place to rest tonight," Thane says.

"There are mountains, across the river. Safer than the open desert, Captain," Nasir says in a low tone.

"Not near the Fifth House," I gasp out softly. Fear is strumming through my body, stealing my mind. I don't know how these males, the Basru, remain so calm. The Postites are weeping softly. Patriarch Salbin is stoic, his stern countenance fixed, his jaw rigid, but I see the grief on his elderly frame. Maybe the old ones amongst us can bear the weight of grief better than we can. They have seen more of it than the young ones.

"No, Princess, much farther north than that," Thane rubs my back gently. "We won't be near the city. Completely out of sight."

We walk north until night falls completely. The rainstorms have blocked most of the stars and the moon. I can't see where we are going, anymore, but the soft rhythm of the Basru's many feet keep heading north at a steady pace. They aren't stumbling and aren't winded even though they are all carrying heavy loads... including Postites and me.

The shock from the destruction of my home is ebbing away, leaving me exhausted. I blink heavily, my eyes trying to stay closed even if I want to stay awake. "Why did this happen?" I murmur.

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Stone is stone

My daughter

---

"This is good," I tell my warriors. We all start to set up camp without further speaking. Everyone knows what to do. Nasir and Ililie slip out of camp after placing their packs down. They race back into the night, much faster now that they are unburdened. They'll reach the city in another hour and hopefully be able to sneak into War.

I set down my Lady on the blanket Gray rolls out for her. Rolle settles a sleeping Poppy next to her and I watch my Lady awaken just enough to snuggle her close.

Sera and her little wife are already curling up together. Their daughter with them. The baby is wide awake, but as soon as we all go quiet she'll fall asleep, too.

I know that the baby is Anthea's, but it's not my child. And... there is something there, something about the little female that makes me wary. It's most likely just the idea that Anthea tried to pass of the baby as mine... or my twins.'

My Lady is right; what a fucking mess it all is.

The cave becomes quiet quickly. Many of our little group is too tired to stay awake a second longer. I make sure that the Postites and the females are in the back, protected by the rock of the mountain.

"We'll patrol in shifts," I say. "Holsten, Carnak, and I will start. Lier, take Gray and Rolle next."

A chorus of soft, 'Captains' echoes in the cave. "Rest up," I warn them. "We all need it."

Lier, Gray, and Rolle spread out at the entrance of the cave. Ready to fight and defend their ladies even as they go to sleep. The three of us leave the cave.

"Carnak, shift and patrol. Keep to the shadows. We have no idea how many of my brother's army are out there."

He slinks away, looking even more monstrous in the dark.

"Rolle, stay here. I am going to hunt," I tell him. "Stay close to the cave. Keep an eye out for Nasir and Ililie."

"Good hunting, Captain."

I shift my claws and feet, letting the scales cover my skin for protection. I scented a couple of wild goats up in the hills above us as we got here. I'll bring back one or two and in the morning we can all have fresh meat.

I glance back at my Lady and the little strawberry before leaving. My heart is lighter than it has been for years. Ironic that we're at war.

---

"My handsome lover," she purrs, her hands clinging to my chest. "How goes the battle for War?"

"They are entrenched, madam," I respond coldly. "We are hardly making inroads in their defenses."

"You have to destroy them, Thelios. Soon," she says, agitated.

"Why?" I ask, bored with her, her hysterics, her demands. I was so certain that the utter destruction of the temple of Death would rain some sort of destruction down, but nothing. I haven't seen this elusive female and the legendary Recondites are hiding behind their walls. I'm feeling colder and colder, the feeling drowning me at night when I try to sleep. Or, maybe it's the fear that this viper will climb her way into my bed that robs me of my rest.

"Because, the storms have ended," she hisses. "And soon Nateos' little bitch will return to this city."

"What did you do, madam, to anger Death and War?" I ask, amused. "Pir is in his ocean. Enlal is hiding from you and concentrating on the Acera in the south. No one has heard from Mardu in an age. Do you really think you're enough to take on Natoes and Urto?"

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She literally trembles in fury for a moment before she pulls in her control. "With you, Thelios, yes. It's so important that you destroy her, Thelios. Send in your best warriors to fell the walls."

"Why?" I sigh. "You said yourself, she's not there."

"But when she does come you will kill her. Send her to her father forever," she muses dreamily. "And you and I can be together and rule this city."

I shiver. Part of me wants to run into the hills and strike out on my own. I will not be owned by this female like some sort of pet.

I've had enough of chains.

No female will tie me to them. It's not worth it. Certainly, not this female. She has completely taken over Anthea's body. I'm not even sure if the Lady of the First House is still alive in there.

I step away.

"Where are you going?" she asks me, frustrated. I have been avoiding her as much as possible. Easy to do with the war.

"Checking the walls again. At any moment there could be a weakness... and you want to win this war, right?"

She smiles tightly, her cerulean eyes blazing, "of course, Thelios," she says through gritted teeth.

I leave without another word.

I walk down the luxurious corridors of the First House palace. The crisp winter air brings in the scent of the desert into the upper stories of this stone monument to shifter greed.

At the end of the hallway I push open the door. I'm not here to check on the welfare of the children, but to remind myself that my twin had everything.

The little male is fast asleep. I don't see the baby anywhere. The tiniest flicker of worry darts through me. I haven't seen the female in almost a month. Ever since Anthea presented her bastard child to me.

The nursemaid for the children comes scurrying over, head bent low in subservience.

"Lord Thane!" she exclaims.

"Where is the other child?" I ask her.

She trembles in front of me. Her wrinkled hands shake as she folds them in front of her.

"Where?" I prod with little patience. "And I suggest that you very much find the truth on your tongue, unless you want to lose it."

"G-gone, Lord Thane. The Lady... she said she couldn't have her here and sent her with her cousin."

"She sent her own child away?" A slight headache is building at the base of my skull. The same headache I got when I saw the destruction of the sacred pool in the Death temple.

Is Death trying to play his games with me? My demon growls low. Of course Nateos is.

"She hasn't been the same," the nursemaid says sadly. "Ever since that little one was born."

"Which one?" I ask, looking over at my nephew.

"The female child, Lord Thane. She suffered mightily to bring that one into this world. There's a time we thought we might lose both the mother and the babe. The mother wills it," she adds, "both survived."

"Thane?" the feminine voice greeting me makes me scowl.

I turn to look at the female who gave birth to me. She meets my eyes with hope in hers. That hope fades, as it has the few times that she and I have encountered each other.

I wonder, does she know? Does she know that I am her other, discarded, dead son? Does she know that her father threw me into the pits of the Underworld to suffer for years? Does she know how utterly cold I am?

"Mother," I greet her with the ice I feel in my heart in my voice.

I see my father behind her. They must be here to visit their grandson. I wonder if they give two fucks that their granddaughter is missing? Or, do they know she's not theirs?

"Son," my father says. His eyes pierce through me. I have the idea that he knows more, much more, than he lets on.

"You're visiting Jahn?" my mother says with a smile.

"Is his name Jahn?" I ask her, just to watch another smile fade from her face.

My father stiffens. "Son," he says coolly, "I'd like to speak with you for a moment."

I smirk into his steady gaze. Anything for family, right?

"Of course. We'll let mother visit with her grandson."

I follow my father down the hall to his study. It is lined with scrolls and tablets. I don't like to be in here. It reminds me too much of Nateos.

I pick up a figurine to distract myself from the memories of the Death god and his infernal 'studying.' It's a female, shrouded in the layers of diaphanous cloth. Even her face is hidden, but the little female still looks beautiful, somehow.

"The Lady is beautiful, is she not? The statue was given to my father a generation ago from the Patriarch of Nateos."

I put the statue back down abruptly. My father smiles sadly. "How are you, son?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. Did he bring me here to casually converse? I have avoided my parents for weeks.

"Your brother, Nisjahn, is still fevered," he says. His eyes watch me closely.

I shrug one shoulder. Nisjahn took to his bed two weeks prior. I think he's avoiding war. Coward.

"And we can't find our granddaughter," he adds.

Another shrug. Gods, I feel like an adolescent being scolded. I pick up the little figurine again and run my thumb over her curves.

"Son," my father says slowly, "how do you feel about the gods?"

My hand freezes on the little lady. "Which ones?" I ask, striving to be casual.

"I was raised in the mother House," he says quietly.

I nearly flinch. The mother House is gone. It's citizens either fled the city or died on the swords of my army.

"I spent my youth climbing the walls of the Death temple."

Another flinch. It's getting hard to breathe in this stuffy place.

"And the mysteries of the lower quarters of this city always intrigued me. Tell me, son, how do you feel about this palace we live in?"

I jerk, bringing the figurine closer to me and slipping her into my vest pocket next to my heart. "It's ostentatious," I tell Everard of the First bluntly.

He smiles, "it's empty," he amends my observation. "Empty of the soul of the gods."

I snort out loud. It's not as empty as he thinks. My demon flickers, his attention on the male in front of us even if mine wanders.

Everard smiles. "Empty," he says again, "of the soul of the gods. Meaning this place has no trust, no faith, and is easily swayed onto the wrong path."

Anger scorches me. This male is trying to teach me a lesson? The male who doesn't even know that I'm not his precious Thane?

"Why did you do nothing? Say nothing? Why allow Arim of the First to mislead so many? Why let Th-me bond to that adulterous bitch?" I laugh at him, but inside I am furious. The question I really want to ask is why was I killed? Why throw me away like trash?

The male who looks like me sighs. "For so long, my son, I watched this House degenerate. You think this war is new? It's been brewing for generations. I've watched the First House destroy themselves and those around them with no thought to the consequences."

His jaw tightens, pain twists his features. "I tried, son. I did try to put this House back on the righteous path. I failed. Time and time again. There were those who tried with me. It wasn't all hopeless, but..." he waves a hand towards the scrolls on the shelves.

"Your grandfather. There was something in his soul, in the souls of many in this House, a greed, an arrogance. Arim was the worst I have seen, but even my own Fated, your mother, isn't innocent of it. Truly, his arrogance was astounding."

"Why not just kill him?" I ask.

He smirks. "Because of this." He indicates the scrolls again. "Yours is the third bloodline of the First House."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, the third. The first two died out. As Arim rose, I could see in the history, in the prophecies, that the father has lost hope, lost faith in the House that he spawned. By your birth, my son, the father had abandoned this House completely."

He looks at me. I press my palm over the tiny figurine.

"But the father is not the only god who plays with our lives."

I swallow in discomfort.

He straightens. "Stay the course, my son. Fight your battles, but remember, sometimes the path we seek isn't the one we find our feet treading."

"Lord Thane," one of the First House soldiers interrupts us. Thankfully. Exhaustion is clear in every line of his body. These warriors are not the most well-trained of males. Satisfactory, but not the army that I would have prepared were I a god, myself.

"What is it?" I snap.

"Movement, Lord Thane. As you instructed, we placed spies all along the northern border. One of them spotted two figures rushing toward the city from the mountains."

"Did he?" I smile to myself. This may be something to alleviate my boredom.

"Good luck, my son," my father says as I flee from his study.

I don't bother to respond.

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