I searched everywhere for her.

The first place I went was her village but her husband and son were sound asleep in their bed. I searched the outskirts of the wall.

I searched everywhere.

I started to panic and tears filled my eyes.

All I could remember was searching all night.

Searching and searching and searching.

Until I came across a trail of blood..

Despite no heart.. it dropped and my body began to shake as I neared farther into the woods.

The sun was beginning to rise and I questioned if I should go farther.

I was terrified of what I might see.

I pushed the bushes to the side and felt my stomach churn as I saw the sight.

Demons.

All around her dead body as they ate.

I can still remember her bloody hand with the wooden ring I gave her. I can still remember her red, long hair rattled to the side.

How could I have been so stupid? So thoughtless?

Didn't I love her?? Why didn't I protect her?!

Something snapped in me that day.

I don't know what, but something happened to my spirit form.

"You stupid.. FUCKING DEMONS!! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!" I yelled in pain. The mindless creatures didn't respond.

I knew as a spirit I could do no damage.

So I made my choice, and I knew there was no going back as my body began to morf.

It was painful as hell but I began to grin as I ripped every single demon into pieces.

I hadn't been more happier to kill those fuckers. Every last one of them.

I don't know why I could still think. I was a demon now, so shouldn't my consciousness had disappeared?

I mean.. I should have moved on years ago but I guess that never happened either.

I looked down at her no longer beautiful mangled body.

The pain I felt was immense as I kissed her forehead and began to dig a grave.

...

Gods funny, he really is.

Or she.. or whatever the fuck he is.

Is there even a god? I mean shamans exist so their must be?

Why am I thinking about this now after so many years?

I stood above her newly made grave.

I didn't know what to say as I held the wooden ring in my pitch black hand.

"Um.. I.." I started but couldn't get out any words as I fell to my knees sobbing. I cried so loud I wouldn't be surprised if the village heard me.

It wasn't fair. I loved her so much.

I had an opportunity to avoid this eternal loneliness but didn't protect it.

"What are you doing?"

A little boys voice made me turn around.

"Crying what does it look like?"

"Why are you crying?" He asked patting my shoulder and I chuckled.

"What's your name kid?"

"Lance.."

"She named you after me?" my eyes widened shocked and a smile appeared.

"What are you? Are you a demon?" the kid asked.

I looked at my body but had no idea.

"I don't know"

"Okay!" the kid sat beside me and had no idea he was looking at his own mothers grave, "My mommy said I'm going to be a great shaman"

"I bet you are kid.." I mumbled.

"I'm going to have a kid one day and make him a great shaman too!" he smiled and I pushed his face.

"You might have a daughter dimwit"

"Then I'll protect her with all my might!" he grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah yeah.. take this.." I dropped the wooden ring in his hand, "Give this to your wife when you have one"

"Wife?! Yuck!!" the kid pretended to barf and my eye twitched.

"Yuck?! How do you expect to have a kid then?!!"

"How are kids made anyway?" he asked me and I began laughing.

It was a good laugh.

I stood up and stretched.

I shouldn't dwell on this sadness for too long or I'll become depressed for eternity.

"Don't ask me kid, I don't know"

"How old are you?"

"Like.. 1000 years old" I over exaggerated.

"Really?!" He smiled excited and I nodded, "Cool.."

I began to walk away but the kid Lance kept following me.

"What do you want?? Can't you see I'm a demon?! Go home!!" I spat and he clung to my ankle, "What the hell?!"

"But I don't like my dad and I miss my mommy!!"

I sighed defeated.

"Okay.. you can hang out with me.."

...

Hanging out turned to raising and he turned out a fine, humble man.

"Bye dad!" He waved off finally grown enough to go off on his own, but before leaving, he gave me a purple beaded bracelet.

"What's this for?"

"So people don't detect you're a demon.. go live a normal life" he smiled and I gave him a big hug.

Man.. that's so weird.. I technically just raised a human.

And by the way I didn't ask him to call me dad! He just started doing it like a weirdo..

I'll miss him.

...

I yawned and my stomach started to growl.

It's been doing that for awhile and my body keeps morfing in and out.

"Human doesn't seem that tasty but.. why do I want it suddenly?"

That's how that started.

I began going out at night and taking victims for my own hunger.

I hated it but what could I do? I need to eat or I'll lose control. One time there was this girl in trouble and I ate this kid.. atleast that was somewhat good?

I picked up modeling on account of my good looks. I was able to change my body to different ages now.

Which was pretty cool..

I could be like.. taller.

Life was going pretty well until I got this smell.

It was like no other and I had to follow it.

"A spirit wife's smell.." I muttered remembering my own.

The smell went right inside a school.

"Looks like I need to get a job here huh~?"