Aubrey

I woke up on the couch beside Clutch. I leaned up and flinched realizing I had pushed off my hurt arm. Blade, who was on the other side of the room, looked over at me.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Is there any medicine?" I asked getting up, he did too.

"I think in the kitchen." He followed me in the kitchen. "Sit," he pointed towards the table. I sat down as he looked through the cabinets. I started to unwrap my bandages flinching as I got to the last bit of gauze. I finally looked at me arm. Xavier's name was still freshly carved into the skin and the surrounding area was still a bright pink. I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to Blade. He sat down beside me and handed me two ibuprofen with water.

"Thanks." He took my arm gently.

"I know this hurt like hell, Aubrey." I frowned. "He will never forgive himself for this." He muttered.

"He didn't do it though, they did."

"Yes because of him, they hurt you."

"I don't see it like that." He smiled slightly at me.

"I know you don't."

"Where is he, anyways?"

"Upstairs, I think. He isn't, really, um in the mood to be around anyone."

"What did he do to them?" Blade pursed his lips together. "I know he killed them." I muttered. I waited for this to bother me but it didn't. I wasn't phased by the fact that I heard him slowly kill one, or even when he made the other kill himself. Which made me question my own sanity.

"That's all you need to know."

"I wanna know how."

"No, you don't."

"B-"

"Aubrey, trust me okay? He took care of it." I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Maybe I didn't want to know. I got up to go up stairs, I wanted Xavier. "Aubrey,"

"I'm going to see him, Blade." I said cutting off his protest. His room was empty so I went to his office not bothering to knock on the door. When I walked in I realized everything was wrecked. It looked like a tornado had come through his office. The room was dark and I saw the dark outline of someone in his chair. I turned on the light seeing him with a drink in his hand leaned over his desk.

"Xavier." His body stiffened.

"Don't say that name." I frowned walking over to him. He didn't move as I went beside him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders needing to have him close. He pulled me off, still not looking at me.

"Don't do this. Don't push me away." He stood up.

"What do you want, Aubrey?" I flinched as he used my real name. I thought about it for a minute, knowing that Blade was right, he was feeling guilty about all this.

"I want you to look at me." He didn't move he shook his head and looked down at the desk again.

"I'm not doing this right now, go back down stairs with Blade and Clutch."

"I want you." I admitted. If I left he would continue to blame himself, he would overthink everything and may do something to break my heart, like leave me. I needed him right now. He made me feel safe.

"And I want you to leave." I flinched his voice was cold and demanding. I felt hurt at first then told myself he was pushing me away on purpose.

"No." He turned now.

"No?"

"Not unless it's what you really want. Look me in the eye and tell me to leave. Tell me you don't care about me and don't want to ever see me again." His cold, black eyes glared down at me. "Tell me, Xavier." His eyes flashed with guilt when he heard me say his name. I reached up touching his face.

"I don't want you." His jaw flexed and his eyes were sad. "I want you to leave and never see me again." He whispered the last part. I nodded dropping my hand from his cheek. I went to turn but he grabbed my hand spinning me back to him and pulling me into his arms. I hugged him back.

"This is not your fault, Xavier."

"I should have been with you, Angel. I should have taken better care of you."

"Xavier, you take better care of me than anyone ever has."

"Those men will never touch you again."

"I know, you made sure of that." He flinched.

"I never wanted you to see me like that."

"You didn't scare me." He looked down at me. "I didn't see."

"I should make you leave, I should have never gave in and admitted how I felt for you. I told myself the next time I saw you I'd make you leave, but I...I can't do it."

"Xavier, stop..." He didn't. He turned away from me.

"This is all my fault! I'm worse than they are! I should make you leave I just can't do it! I want you, Angel." He turned back to me. "Why don't you just run, tell me you hate me. Maybe then I can let you go maybe then you will be safe."

"But that's not true." I whispered. "I don't hate you, Xavier."

"You don't even know me! You don't know what I've done! You don't know the lives I've taken! If you did you wouldn't be here." He wasn't really making much sense. I reached out for him. He let me take his hand and pull him out of the room.

I lead him to his bedroom and pushed him to sit on the bed. I moved beside him pulling his arms around me. He sighed tightening his arm around me and laying us both down.

"I want to know you." I touched his face seeing the dark circles under his eyes. "I just don't want to know what you've done because I don't understand it." I admitted. "I understand hating the Night Riders but not the town there are so many good people here. And what did you do to make them so mad? Why do the Night Riders hate you so much."

"I.." He took a deep breath. "I got my revenge on them in possibly one of the worst ways." I didn't say anything, hoping he'd continue. "When my parents were killed, I was there. They took all three of us." His forehead creased. "I saw everything, they started with my mom." His voice was low and I could hear the pain of the memory. Part of me wanted to stop him so he didn't have to relive it but I wanted to know the truth. "They made my dad and I watch. Then they took me. You were right when you said the scars on my back looked like they'd been caused by a whip." I felt my eyes watering at the thought of someone doing that to a child. "My dad begged for them to stop. The sound of my mothers screams I will never forget. They didn't care though, it's like it encouraged them. My dad was beaten to death, and while they were...killing him, my mom crawled over to me and told me she loved me. Then explained to me that I had to be strong and run away while she distracted them. Within seconds she grabbed a pipe and hit one of the guys with it, I took off threw the door. I heard them shoot her before I even made it out." He took a deep, slow breath. "I ran through the woods until I found the side of the road. I remember a car stopping and picking me up, the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital with Eric and Rose." I wrapped my arms around him pulling him as close as I could.

"I am so sorry, Xavier" I heard the tears in my voice even though I tried to hide it.

"The town cops found my parent's bodies in the woods. I told them everything I saw that I could understand, at the time at least." His voice turned dark. "Then we went to court. No one believed a child. They said I'd made it up, that the club told me to say it was the Riders. They all walked away free. I found out later the trial was bullshit, the town lawyers and cops were too afraid of the Night Riders. Evidently, they had threatened multiple families and juries; and with my dad dead, many people were afraid of their power."

"That's not right!" I demanded, understanding his anger. They could have been in jail, the town would have been safe. "What did you do to them? I don't believe it's worse than what they did." He hesitated.

"I was supposed to be away for school. It was the anniversary of their death. I had been plotting something but couldn't think of how not to get caught. I drove down here to see my parents grave and I passed the bar. I saw them there. All of them partying and celebrating, I just went into this rage. I knew all of them, I had made a point to. Before I knew what was happening, I ended up at one of the houses of the men who'd been there that night. He was gone of course, but his wife was there. She was sleeping when I killed her. She didn't know it was coming, some of the others, however, weren't so lucky."

"You killed the guys', who were there, women? Like their wives and girlfriends?"

"Not just the one who were there, every guys' in the club." I looked at him wide eyed.

"H-how?" He sighed.

"Angel-"

"I want to know."

"Slit their throats." I took a second to process that.

"How many?"

"23"

"Oh my God." I muttered sitting up.

"Angel, please..."

"I'm processing," I said stopping him. All of those women would have been innocent, and some of those women didn't really have a man that was involved. "That's why they want me then." He nodded. "Some of those women probably had children, Xavier. Some probably didn't even know what happened." He didn't say anything. I thought about what he had seen. How seeing your own mom raped and dad beaten to death would mess up anyone and I wondered what he was really capable of. I looked at him. He was watching me closely. His eyes searching my face over and over again. He looked nervous, vulnerable even, for the first time since I met him. I laid back down beside him.

"Angel, say something. What are you thinking?" I laid beside him feeling safer than I ever had, even after hearing something that horrible about him. I realized that I didn't care what he may be capable of. Even though it may be terrible, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. It was too late.

"I love you."