"How many times must I tell you, Nightstalker," Madame Beaudeline hissed. "You are not to speak. You are not to disobey me, and you are never, ever, permitted to speak of such things."

"I have the right to know," I spat, "Surely you can offer me this, just an inkling of knowledge."

"I do not owe you anything, Master Skotus does not owe you anything, Mistress Hemlock does not owe you anything. You deserve nothing." She screamed, her voice increasing with every word as her face came closer and closer to mine, her metallic breath blowing into my face.

I felt the chains around my wrists tighten. "All I want to know is where I'm from, my pack. I have no intention of leaving, I'm a full supporter of the cause of our organisation. I just want to know my origins, my parents perhaps, what if I have family?"

I watched as Madame Beaudeline's eyes flared, her teeth baring itself in my direction. "Here me now, Nightstalker, as I will not repeat myself. You have nothing, no family, no origins, no... anything. We found you bundled up in a swarm of rags and we took pity. I'll admit, you've certainly proved yourself quite the investment. But you are about as replaceable as a mat on the floor. Do not think I won't hesitate to use you as a blood bank."

Madame Beaudeline's slender hand wrapped itself around my neck, and whilst my chains were attached to each of my libs, she had no problem in lifting my entire body high in the air of Madame Beaudeline's torture chamber, the chamber that I had been dragged down to multiple times before now.

This time, it was just for asking a question, one, simple question.

Who am I?

I tried to move my hands to my own neck in an attempt to pry Madame Beaudeline's fingers apart.

I couldn't breath, I couldn't breathe.

My face was turning purple, a wall of pressure building behind my eyes.

One more second- she had one more second to remove her hand from my neck before-

Madame Beaudeline dropped me to the floor. "One of these day's Nightstalker, you shall say the wrong thing to me, and I'll end up tightening my grip on your neck, twisting it. I shall snap you'r pretty little neck before you even have the time to think. I will kill you Nightstalker, and don't you think for any moment I won't through your dismembered body off a cliff and rule it a suicide."

I felt my head loll backwards. Madame Beaudeline, dropping two large bricks down on my outstretched hands.

"And I hope you know that I would have most certainly killed you years ago, had it not been for Mistress Hemlocks kindness and Master Skotus's keen interest." She cursed before leaving me in the room, slamming the iron door shut.

I raised a hand to my face, collecting a drip of blood that was running down my face.

And so I started to cry, sobs racking my body.

Madama Beaudeline was not a kind woman. My bleeding body weeping out on the iron concrete floor.

I stared down at my hands, my broken, crippled hands that seemed to be pointing at every which way.

How long would I have until Madame Beaudeline smashed the brick into my head.

The chains would allow me as far as the very edge of the crack in the door. I lay my entire body against the floor, desperate for the inch of light that it provided.

I knew the reason Madame Beaudeline had left the room.

To grab her tools for my own, personal torture.

-----------------------------------

I woke up with a scream, a strange, wet mixture of tears and sweat covering my face and chest.

My entire body was shaking as I grasped my hands on the bed sheets. I took a minute to regulate my breathing, to take control over my body once more.

I had forgotten of those things, how Madame Beaudeline used to treat me when I stepped out of line. How Master Skotus would beat me until my own stances and attacks were perfect. How Mistress Hemlock would wave her hand around my head and make me forget everything they had done.

But I remembered it now. All those times in the basement, and all those times spent with half my body bleeding out.

Since I had arrived at Bloodlust, those memories came back harsher and harsher every night.

Alexander knew full and well of what I went through.

He knew that my nights were plagued with stories that he would never know about, and that should he ever even try to enquire about it again, he would end up with my fist in his face.

I was thankful that he made the active decision to be such an early riser, thankful, for the empty room that I always found myself waking in.

I blinked, staring down at my now completely, perfectly healed hands.

Faint lines, lines that were only a tad lighter than my natural skin tone. They were so small, so small I sometimes forgot they were even there. I wonder what my past self had thought where there scars had come from. Perhaps a mission perhaps, since the only time I remembered last night's scene was when it actually had happened.

I let out a breath as I stood up and began to move, slicking back my sweat-dripping hair. A quick brush, today's clothes and flicking my earrings into a place, I left the bedroom and started my descent downstairs.

It was only about 8:30 in the morning, so I knew full well that everyone would still be here, most likely gathered in the adjacent kitchen and dining room eating breakfast.

And so that's where I headed.

As I walked in, the room didn't go silent as it once had, but rather continued with it's idle chapter until I sat down.

"Good morning Cassandra," Harmony chirped. "Have a good sleep?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes thanks, you're awfully chipper today, is something going on?"

Harmony popped another piece of fruit in her mouth, perking her shoulders as her cheeks went red. "Actually, yes. I have some family coming over."

I stabbed the fork into my plate of eggs, "Family?"

"We don't need to go into all the details, but it's my brother's birthday, 12th of June. He's part of an international swimming team, travelling across the globe, representing the country and all that. I don't see him too often because of that, especially now given my situation. However, he always makes time to come home for a few days for his birthday. He'll be arriving in a few hours."

I felt my body go into shock. June 12th. How had I forgotten?

"Are you alright? Your whole body just froze," Myra asked, eyes wide as she watched me.

I paused mid-chew before quickly swallowing. "Of course not, June 1st, it's just an important date for me. I was surprised I had forgotten it."

"And whatever is so important about June 1st?" Farren interrogated.

I watched Vance smirk, "Yeah, don't tell us you and Harvey are birthday twins!"

I choked, suddenly wishing I had just done a better job of concealing my emotions. "Back at base, I had two friends. We had been together since the very beginning, practically taken in at the same time. Neither are wolves, so of course, we all had different abilities. Unfortunately, we didn't end up in the same area when it came to work. However, we all became the best at what we did. So, every year since we were about fourteen, starting on June 1st, we would go on a week-long mission. In fact, it's the only mission we've ever done together. Sure it was serious and we came home covered in blood and grime, but it was always a good time."

My face fell slightly, "I suppose I won't be doing it this year."

And I had done it again, brought up a slightly uncomfortable subject that no one really knew how to respond to since no one had any actual idea what I was really talking about.

Finally, Alexander spoke up. "You do well in staying anonymous, I always have meetings where some sort of incident happening around this time. No one's ever been able to place it. I've just always been thankful my pack didn't fall victim."

I snorted, "Yes, it seems the organisation only just mustered up the courage to start landing attacks in Bloodlust, and look where it got me."

My entire body froze. I shouldn't have said that.

Nevertheless, Alexander smiled. "I suppose I should be thankful for that sudden surge of courage, and even more thankful for their ambition."

--------------------------------------

After breakfast, once everyone had diverted and gone their separate ways, I only had one thing on my mind.

I gulped. Reels of anxiousness racking through my body. I had felt a range of emotions this past month, but never worry, never concern.

I wasn't worried about Cora and Ti's ability to carry out the mission, that certainly wasn't my job anymore. The leaders wouldn't have wasted a moment in assigning the next best thing to assist them in my usual position.

But information for the yearly mission was given out months ago. I knew the location, the timing, everything. Assuming, of course, nothing had changed.

I could intercept them, make sure they know what's going on.

I knew that I was to return in three months, well, more two months now. But the end of that time was becoming blurred. Once I returned, I would be back on the injection, and my mind would be reset.

I would become blind to the reality of my situation.

I could put a stop to it. At least, put a stop to it for Cora and Ti.

But I would need to leave, and I would need to leave right now.

And so I headed into the Alpha's office.

Alexander spent a lot of his time in there. Once could never fully realise just how busy an Alpha is until you spend the entirety of your time in his company.

I knocked on the door, entering when I heard Alexander's voice ringing through the wall. As per usual, he was sitting at the desk. A slightly unbuttoned shirt and an undone tie thrown around his neck. And of course, the familiar pair of glasses sitting perched on his nose.

As I poked my head through the door, I watched as he fumbled his way in pulling the glasses off his nose and shoving them in the open drawer beside him.

He cleared his throat, "Cassandra."

I pulled myself into the room fully. "I need to talk to you about something."

Alexander straightened his back and gestured to the seat opposite his desk. "You know, you needn't be so formal. Truly, you're the only person who is entitled to just... walk straight into my office and take a seat."

I offered a strange smile as I sat down, fighting as I tried to make myself comfortable.

Alexander raised an eyebrow, "You're welcome to sit on my lap if that chair is too uncomfortable."

I exhaled loudly out of my nose as my face scrunched up. "I'm fine, really. I need to ask, Alexander, how much do you trust me?"

The atmosphere between us suddenly being stretched, awkward as the words left my mouth.

He paused, "I trust you much more than I probably should. Though I'm not sure if that's coming from my heart or my brain."

I looked down at my hands, intertwining my fingers as I tried to keep calm. "I need to leave. Only for a few days."

Alexander sighed. "I knew you would come to me about this. Because of the mission? Your friends?"

I nodded. "If... If I don't go now, I will lose the only opportunity to see them again. I won't receive the details for next year's mission obviously, since I'm here. And I can assure you that neither of them would ever be assigned for missions in a wolf dominated area, especially anywhere near us." I leaned over and grabbed his hand. "I promise, promise you, that I will come back."

For once, there was no lie to my words. I was being completely and one hundred percent honest with him. I wouldn't tell him that if I could, I planned to bring Cora and Ti back with me.

I knew at the end of these three months I would return to the base, regardless of the small chance that perhaps something unforeseen should come in my way and I wouldn't be able to. But if Cora or Ti were in my position, I knew they wouldn't do the same.

I was well aware how much they hated being there, how Ti missed the forest and Cora missed the sea.

Perhaps, if I could do this one thing for them.

Alexander watched me for a moment. "These friends of yours, you're planning on bringing them back here."

"It's the least I can do," I whispered hoarsely. "That life... they don't want it. We've dreamed of running away together, the three of us. Now, I'm in a position to do that, but I'll be damned if I don't at least try to give them the same opportunity."

"I hope that one day, you'll be able to tell me just what goes on in that base, just what they did to you. Sometimes, I see glimpses of your nightmares, flashing through my mind like an old record. " He muttered, before finally saying, "I trust you. I trust that you'll come back."

I let my eyes flicker shut, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Alexander leaned forward, "And may I request something in return? After all, it is no easy feat to let my mate simply run away from me for a few days, knowing full well that she could just never return, especially when I know just how manipulative her words can be?"

"What are you thinking?"

My eyes met his, "In around two months time, my family will be arriving back from their holiday. One that I, thankfully, opted out of. My only request is that you meet them, even if their return falls a few days after our little agreement ends- should, of course, you choose to leave. They should return on time, but just in case they don't."

Well, that wasn't so bad.

I shrugged, "I don't see a problem in that."

A grin made its way onto Alexander's face. "Very well then. And I suppose you'll be leaving today?"

I stood up, pushing the chair back into place. "As soon as I can."

Alexander too, stood up. Before I could realise what he was doing, his arms wrapped around me, pulling me in until his entire body was wrapped around mine. "I'll miss you, even though it's just for a few days, I'll miss you."

A hug. Cautiously, I let my arms slide around his back, resting my head awkwardly on his chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat filling my ears. "Try not to act too much in love with me."

Alexander sighed. "It seems you are full of impossible requests today."

I paused in realisation before pulling away, clearing my throat. "I'll see you in a few days,"

And with that, I walked out of the room, leaving Alexander alone behind me as I headed straight to the armoury.

Two more months, just two more months.

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