Chapter 47

Forest's POV

She was gone.

She was gone.

She was gone.

My heart screamed out for her, my wolf begged for me to join her on the other side, but I promised her, I promised her I'd live on, I'd look after the pack.

I promised her I'd live for the both of us.

But it was hard.

Some days, it was all I could do to wake up in the mornings.

Some days, I was so overcome with grief I couldn't even get out of bed.

Some days, I just wanted to curl up and die, but them I'd remind myself about my promise, and I'd carry on.

Just.

The pack didn't know I had a mate.

They didn't know. They never would.

I had argued with my parent's at first. I wanted her to have a proper burial, one worthy of a member of the alpha family.

But they couldn't know.

The elders would have me killed.

They believed a wolf who lost his or her mate was unstable, a danger to the pack, and therefore needs to be killed, regardless on whether they actually are a danger or not.

If you've lost your mate, you're killed.

No exceptions.

I couldn't do that to my parents. Losing Aria had been bad enough.

The pack think I'm recovering from a particularly bad alpha bite. It isn't completely a lie, I was recovering from an alpha bite, but that was only for about a day, the rest of the time I've been wallowing in self pity.

Some of the pack did visit me for a bit, bringing get well soon cards and chocolate for 'the poor alpha's son who risked his life for the good of the pack', but they always said the same thing, "You need to find your mate Forest, when you find your mate she will help you heal quicker,"

At first I just answered with, "I don't want a mate," Which is kind of true, I want Aria back, but I can't, what I really mean is, I don't want a new mate, although no one knew I had a mate in the first place.

As soon as I said I don't want a mate, every single pack member decided to tell me about the joys of having a mate, about how she would be, "the single most perfect match for you, one you can cherish forever, stay with for eternity, she will be the only girl for you and you will do absolutely anything for her,"

I hated how true there words were.

Aria was the single most perfect match for me. She was, and always will be the only girl for me, and I would do anything for her.

They were also wrong. So very wrong.

Forever is what we were promised, but forever is not what we got.

I would trade my soul to get Aria back.

Without her, life just isn't worth living.

-----------

After a few more days I had to get up, staying in bed wasn't helping me keep my promise to Aria, and it was really boring, I couldn't morn her forever, I was tired of crying.

Crying won't bring her back.

I had to return to my alpha duties. I didn't have many, since I wasn't the alpha yet, I just had to do some paperwork, help my dad, and be the person the pack pups and teens can turn to for help.

If a pack wolf needs help with school or home, they need help but it's not an alpha matter, they turn to me.

I had to continue doing that, helping the teens through their first crush and looking after the little pups, scared or confused at a new school.

I used to love doing my job, helping them in any way I could, the wolves looked up to me and knew I was always happy to help.

I was always happy, smiling, welcoming.

But now, however much I tried, I just couldn't bring them that same level of peace.

No one understood why their carefree, happy, full of life alpha's son, had turned into this sad, depressed boy, going round like I had my own personal rain cloud.

If only they knew.

I still helped the wolves as best I could, but some of the shyer ones were now scared of me, and that hurt. The wolves who used to come out of their shell, and show me a small sliver of their sensitive core, the wolves who placed the utmost trust in me, no longer felt they could confide in me.

I tried to change.

I didn't want to scare them.

But however much I tried, I was just too glum to care.

---------

Today, today was the day, the day of Aria's burial.

The day exactly two weeks since the battle, the burial is always two weeks after a battle. It had been a tradition since long before I was born.

When I was young I always asked my dad about it, I didn't understand why it was two weeks after.

He always said the same, "The two weeks after the battle are weeks of mourning, mourning all the lost wolves and praying they reach the heavens. It gives the family and friends of the deceased time to say goodbye and gives the great luna time to decide if the wolf deserves to ascend to the heavens.

Aria was to have a warrior burial. As far as the pack wolves knew, she was just a warrior, one who joined the pack quite recently after she shifted.

Most had forgotten her, the last time they had seen her was the scandal with the rogues and most had wanted to forget that mistake.

Aria was the only one to die in that battle, miraculously, since the rogues weren't well trained, the worst they could do was knock you out for a few hours, or leave you in the hospital for a few days.

Aria was the only one to die.

It wasn't supposed to be that way.

It should have been me.

She took a bullet for me. Literally.

She somehow knew the exact moment to jump, to save me, but to die in the process.

I wished I was the one to die.

The pack was sad for the loss of a warrior, but not as sad as they would be if they knew she was my mate. I was annoyed. Annoyed and sad. Aria shouldn't have died, and she should get the correct burial, but because of me, she couldn't.

It is all because of me.

Pack burials, in my pack at least, were a mixture of witch burnings, and viking burials. A bonfire is built around their coffin then set on fire, so much like a witch burning, but with more respect. And they're already dead.

Usually it would be the alpha who would set the bonfire alight, but my father said I should do it, to "help me transition into the alpha role," and because I "killed the leader of the rogues, I should help the victim ascend to the heavens." His real reason being, she was my mate, and I can't tell anyone, so I will at least help her to the heavens, since I can't do anything else.

----------

The burial was happening at the same spot as always, the same spot that was decided centuries ago.

It was a beautiful, by the lake, the bank covered in wildflowers and the lake covered with water lilies. The lake had a breathtaking view of the mountains and every night the sun set set the sky on fire with orange and pink hues.

The final thing the soul would see before they ascended to the heavens.

My parents came up to me a few minutes before the burning, my mum pulled me into a tight hug, "I'm sorry," She said, "You shouldn't have to go through this. I can't imagine how in must feel, but whatever you're going through, we'll always be here for you,"

My mum didn't know the pain I was going through, she still had her mate by her side, but she tried. She didn't say it would get better, or to move on, he knew that was impossible, so instead she did all she could to comfort me, to help me cope. I was thankful I had her by my side.

I saw Ash and Skye going to where Aria lay in her coffin, where in a few minutes her soul shall accent to the heavens while the whole pack pray for the moon goddess to grant her entry to eternal peace.

They both froze by her coffin, their heads whipped up in sync as they suddenly ran over to me, "You didn't, perchance, decide to burn an empty coffin, did you?" Ash asked, his voice shaking with nerve.

I just stared at him in confusion as his words sank in, "No," I stated, staring him in the eye, "Why?" Ash had a wild look in his eyes, a scared look on his face, he was wringing his hands behind his back and tapping his foot to the ground. .

"She's gone." Skye whispered, "The coffin is open, and it's empty. Her scent surrounds it, but then just disappears into thin air,"

I snarled at her words, stalking over to where she was supposed to lay.

They were telling the truth. The coffin was empty, the flowers surrounding it uncrumpled, as if she had just sat up and jumped the half meter over the flowers.

Impossible.

No one could have taken her, she was slim and light, but no one can grab a corps from a coffin without coming within 30 centimetres of it.

And yet they had.

The only other option, it was impossible, I wished I could believe it, but I couldn't.

It was impossible.

Too impossible to even be an option.

But I still wished.

My wolf still howled out for her, hoping she would answer.

Unsurprisingly she didn't.

You can't have a funeral with no body.

We sent everyone home, promising them we would figure out what had happened and then we would rearrange the date for the funeral, completely against pack tradition, but what can you do?

We searched all around, but she was gone.

Her scent cut off two meters from the coffin, we searched all around but she was really gone.

And I felt the pain of losing her all over again.

I would kill who did this.

They didn't even let me say a proper goodbye.

They took her from me too soon, and then wouldn't let me send her off to the heavens in the proper way.

They would die for such disrespect.