Gunnar, Nico, Robbie and I were all at the movies one Sunday afternoon. I have always loved movies since I was a kid that's probably why I'm an actress. My mom and dad used to take us here all the time. That was before dad left with another woman and before mom died. It was back before they were fighting, back when they were together, like truly together. We'd always go on Sundays. It was just kinda our thing. Gunnar, Nico, Robbie and I go now but it's just not the same.

But even back then we'd always go to the cheap theaters and weren't allowed any snacks at the concession stand. I remember as a kid just wanting a large popcorn. It sounded so fancy and extra. But I could never get it because we needed to be wise with our money. I understood that. Even as a kid.

Gunnar, Nico, Robbie and I all headed into the theater and watched our movie. It was so nice being able to spend some time with them. Ever since I got this role I haven't exactly had time to anything other than film. But even before then. Gunnar and Nico were always working and the only real time I actually got to see them was when I would visit them at work. This was the first time since mom and dad weren't around that Gunnar wasn't stressing about bills and Nico wasn't picking up an extra shift. It was the first time they could relax. The first time we were making ends met. I honestly hadn't been this happy before either. This was all just so exciting and new to me.

The movie we were watching was good but I couldn't help but think: "Wow. I'm going to be on this screen. People are going to pay money to sit in a theater just like this and watch me." It was a crazy thought but a real one. A small amount advertisements just went up for 'Miles for Violets.' It was of Zach and I resting our heads on one another and Elizabeth and Amber arguing in the back. It looked pretty cute and funny like any romantic comedy. It was on some bus benches and stuff like that but nothing too major yet. We needed to get closer to the end of filming before billboards and other major advertisements like commercials or trailers would be presented. But either way I was so hyped and apparently people at school were too.

Literally the day they went up some people were giving me smiles and all sort of looks. But positive ones. It was like people were finally paying attention to me. All it took was my face to be on some bus benches. I guess that's how Amber felt every day. All that positive regard. So many people had heard about it it's kinda funny. Some dude in my physics class, another girl in my English class, even Eugene and Franklin had heard.

"Hey Alyssa! We saw you on a bus bench! It looks great! We're totally gonna see it!" Eugene shouted from the ladder. He was of course still painting their house a somehow darker brown and Franklin was working on the flowers. "Aww thank you!" "I know right! We're so proud of her!" Gunnar and Nico had pulled up in their car to listen for a few seconds on their way to work. Robbie was tugging at me to get to school. "Hey so about dinner we need to have it soon with you guys! We wanna know all about this movie!" Eugene and Franklin were so sweet. "For sure. We'll let you know when we're free."

Dropping off Robbie I noticed that mom again wow. She was in a grey pantsuit that was slimming as shit. Her hair flawless as ever. Her son ran out of her arms and into the school. The stunning mom looked up at me. I stopped breathing. She smiled and then I began to breathe again. She was so gorgeous I just couldn't. I physically felt high from that. Just looking at her.

Filming that day was a breeze. I was beginning to get used to all the lights and the cameras being so close. I also felt more comfortable about filming. At the beginning, I was just getting used to it or it was a really hard scene to take. But right now the scenes were pretty straight forward. The only thing that wasn't easy was the food situation. I was back at that terrible craft services table where they just refused to produce anything decent tasting. I was eating the chips. Again. I felt that they were the least worst tasting.

"You're eating the chips again really?" It was Amber. "There is nothing else here!" "C'mon let's go someplace then." "You sure?" "Yes! I tired of watching you eat those things." "They taste like dried up salt water." "C'mon let's go I know a place." Amber led me out of Paramount Studios and down the street to this trendy little café. It was always busy with people working on their computers or people who had came from some fashion related thing. It was so damn trendy. I was saddened to see that prices were so fricking expensive. She could see me glaring upward at those ridiculous prices! "$8.71 for a basket of cheesy fries! $8.71! You couldn't have taken me to McDonald's or something?" "Oh come on that's not that expensive." "Easy for you to say." "Here. Let's just split it. I'm not that hungry anyways." "You sure because I thought it would be social death if you got caught interacting with a commoner?" She giggled. "You're not a commoner. You're in this movie with me. Just look."

People were actually looking up at us like that same kind of look the kids at school gave me. "That's just because of you." "And you." She bopped me on the nose. It made me smile. But they could tell she was Amber Roselake from a mile away. A white denim jacket with some cool photo print on the back, a grey camisole, some ray bans in that blonde hair of hers, blue jeans with a cool red stripe going down the sides, and new white air force ones. She looked so planned out. I mean always.

It was our turn to order. "Can we get one order of cheesy fries? And a Dr. Pepper?" "That'll be $11.92." I pulled out a couple dollars from my wrinkled up wallet. Amber took out her slick shiny silver credit card too charge the rest on. "Silver Mercedes, silver credit card. Jesus. Is everything you own silver?" She chuckled. "It's my favorite color if you couldn't tell. It makes everything look much nice than it really is." The cashier gave us our food and I stared at the soft drink. "Dr. Pepper?" I questioned. "Yeah. Who doesn't like Dr. Pepper?" "Um you're looking at her." "You're kidding?" "We'll I've never tried it but, it doesn't look good to me." We sat down at a little corner table all the way in the back. It was all dark brown bricks on the wall with black wood. Once again so trendy.

"Look how can you not like something you haven't tried before?" "Because sometimes you know just by looking at something you don't want that in you." "It looks like Coke just try it." She slid the Dr. Pepper over. She looked serious. "I'm guessing this is your favorite soda isn't it?" "Just try it!" She yelled smiling. I took a sip and it honestly just tasted like Coke but sweeter. It was stronger too. "Ugh. That was." I was licking my lips. "Not that bad actually." "See I told you! But please tell me you've had cheesy fries before." She put some in her mouth. "Uh duh. I don't live under a rock sweetheart." "Aww well I wasn't sure." We both giggled. I liked hanging out with her. I mean it was a lot better than sitting alone in my trailer going over lines with myself. Either way I wanted to bond with her more. Know her more.

"So you see any cute guys in here?" She blushed looked down at the table. "I told you Alyssa I don't date." "Yeah, well this isn't dating. You're not selecting anything. You're just looking at the menu is all." She giggled. "Looking at the menu. Very funny." "Seriously though. Why? Is there a reason you don't? Or are you just waiting for your NFL Quarterback to come and sweep you off your feet?" "Nah, I'm not waiting for any guy." "Then what gives?" "If I tell you, it means I trust you to not tell anyone ok?" "Who would I tell?" I joked.

"The media. Everyone around us." I looked at the buffering crowds of people getting their food, joking, laughing, looking over here, just trying to get a glimpse of Amber. "Alright I won't tell them. Why would I anyway? And either way I'm sure that whole you locking yourself in a porta potta is way juicer." She looked up at me this time laughing. Less serious. I could make her laugh. And she could see that I cared enough to get to know her. Just like a friend. Maybe that's why she had enough trust to tell me.

"I'm gay." My mouth opened a little when she said it. My heart must have stopped too. I wasn't expecting that. "You're?" "Gay. Yeah." "But you're so feminine and girly and makeup obsessed." "Yeah what's that got to do with it?" "I thought lesbians were supposed to be all butch and masculine." "I mean some are but definitely not all. I mean I'm not. And that's just a stereotype." "So you like want a girl? Like you want to kiss girls?" "Yes." She chuckled. "I'm guessing you don't know that many lesbians?"

"The only gay people I know are my neighbors. And they're really nice. Honestly super sweet. But they live a harder life than most people. They're always so self-conscious of it." "Yea, that's part of the reason why I haven't told a lot of people. Either way please just don't tell anyone. I-I really don't want anyone to know." "Don't worry. I won't." "Thank you." She slipped her hand onto of mine for a second and felt my insides go wild. It was only for a split second but, I knew I didn't want her to let go.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to the restroom." I couldn't believe she was gay. Amber Roselake is gay. Amber Roselake is a lesbian. What the literal fuck. I watched her walk through people politely getting by. Giving people a gentle smile. I didn't mean to be rude about the whole stereotypes thing I've just never known a lesbian. And I would have never thought it to be her. But now that I think about it, I mean I could like girls too and I'm not exactly butch or masculine. I just couldn't believe she was gay and that I found her so attractive. Like that there is possibility that...

But there's no way she'd feel the same way. She's so glamorous. We're too different. I watched her coming back to the table but, some girl stopped her. The girl looked to be about thirteen or fourteen and she was holding her cell phone and showing Amber. I guess she wanted a photo with her. I bet this kind stuff happened all the time to her. But Amber kept looking over here and suddenly motioned for me to follow. I was so lost. But I went over.

"This is Alyssa Barron. She's playing Violet from the movie." "No way! Could I get a photo with you two?" "Of course." Amber and I smiled into this little girl's phone. I've never had that happen to me before. Never. Amber was so calm and cool about it. We then went back to our table. "Thanks for that." "She was telling me that she saw me on a bus bench for Miles for Violets so I was like the star is here too!" I started laughing. She was making me blush I couldn't help it. "You feel famous now?" "A bit. Slightly." "Good. Get used to it. It's only gonna be like this from here on out." I stared at her a little more. Just really looking at her. I wanted to make a comment. And she could tell. "What?" "Nothing." "Just go for it." "So that explains why you haven't done anything with a guy." I started chuckling and to my surprise so did she.

"So who's this guy you're working with? And should I be worried about him?" Wes was tossing a Taki into his mouth. We were at the convenience store as usual. Behind the counter. As usual. I had bought cigarettes for Gunnar. As usual. "Don't act like you don't know his name." "He's Zach freaking Riley with his pecks and washboard abs how could you not fall for him? You're like kissing and touching this dude right? Like how could you not?" "One word. Acting." I then simulated an explosion with my hands. "Haha very funny. But seriously should I be worried about this dude?" It wasn't a dude he should be worried about. I felt bad knowing that I was attracted to someone else. But I was just attracted to Amber it wasn't like I liked her? Right? Either way we're just friends. So everything is fine. But I felt bad that I was keeping this a secret from Wes. Him and I are really close and I just want to tell him everything but I can't.

"You shouldn't be worried about him. We keep everything really professional. There's like seventy lights and cameras all around. And people are standing there watching it's nothing you should be worried about." "Ok good." He kissed me. I didn't hate kissing him. I was fine with it. It was good. It just wasn't crazy or passionate you know? But he kept kissing me and I could feel him get more into it. I could tell he wanted to go further with me right now. Oh thank goodness we were in a store!

"So did you finger anything out? Haha get it?" Vince raced up to me after I was leaving the library to go and get Robbie. "Eww. And yes." "Holy shit so you took my advice?" He was elated. "Yes up until Robbie walked in on me!" "Oh my gosh!" He was cracking up! He couldn't breathe! "What!" "Yup. Yup. Yup." "Did he get it?" "Nope. Thankfully or else I would have had a heart attack." We were silent for a second and then looked at each other with the laugh just building up inside of us. We burst out laughing. We couldn't help it! "I told him he'd understand when he's older." "Oh gosh. Oh Alyssa." "But I did learn that I am in fact attracted to girls." "Well that's good! See problem solved!"

"Not problem solved! Look I don't hate Amber anymore. I got to know her a bit more. She's alright. But we had this scene." "This scene yes tell me more." I playfully hit him on the arm. "Where we had to hug. And we did." "Yes and?" "We were left staring into each other's eyes for a moment, like the script said, but like she caught me looking at her lips, but like she didn't panic! Ugh. I guess what I'm trying to say it that I think I might possibly like her or be attracted to her. Which is really bad considering the fact that I'm with Wes. And I care about Wes. And I like him you know? But I think I'm getting feelings for this girl."

"Look like I said as long as you don't act on them you're good. And like you said you said you didn't know if you truly liked her. So then there's nothing to worry about." "You sure?" "Yes. And it's not like anything's going to happen between you guys. It's just acting." "Yea." Little does he know Amber and I are hanging outside of work and she's also into girls. Those are too major pieces of important information that could really change the situation. But I promised Amber I wouldn't tell anyone she's gay. And I want to be faithful to that.

Eugene and Franklin came over for dinner that night. It was actually quite nice having them over. They were always so respectable. "So how's the house coming?" Gunnar asked passing the chicken. "It's coming great! I think the brown just looks great with the roses. But yes, thanks for asking." "We wanted to sell but, it's probably not the best." "What? You guys should totally sell. Go somewhere exotic. Get out of Boyle Heights." "I mean we want to but, we always gotta worry about what neighbors we move next to." They just both stared at each other. Gave each other a solemn smile. I felt my heart sink. Nico and Gunnar didn't know what to say. Actually nor did I. But Robbie did: "What why? Are they criminals?" Franklin and Eugene laughed. "No, not criminals." I sighed. Just homophobes.

The next day was Thursday. And Thursday was pay day. We were all at the bank excited to get my direct deposit. All waiting in line anxiously. Like I said Gunnar, Nico, Robbie and I have been making ends meet. Well, will this check, it pushed us over that line. We officially didn't owe anything or have to pay something back. We finally had more than enough. It was an exciting feeling because now I could spend my check on something other than just bills. I asked the teller for a little bit of the money and once it was in my hand, Gunnar spoke to me: "Now what?" "Yeah what do you want to spend it on?" "Oh I have an answer."

We went to the movies that night. I bought everyone's ticket. We went to the good theater too. Not the cheap one. It was so nice being able to be there with them. Nobody really stressing out. It was honestly the greatest feeling in the world. But I gotta tell you the best part was standing at that concession stand and ordering four large popcorns.