SORRISO:

Smile

V A L E R I U S ' S P O V:

It has been three weeks since I have had proper sleep. Since I last touched Shira and felt the everlasting desire of having her body pressed against mine like velcro. I have been in and out of the house like a bee, arriving late at night and waking back up early again. Not once did Shira question where I have gone but the dull look on her face shows her curiosity.

Each day flies fast and I am excited yet I must conceal it. I want everything to be memorable and top-notched so that when I look at Shira's eyes sparkle then I know that I have claimed her mine forever. Her proposal should be the best.

It's night and the moon is curtseying its grace on Shira's face. Her back is towards me and I just took a moment to look at how alone she looks. Her long arms are spread out in front of her as mine aren't there to wrap around hers and keep her protected. The covers are tightly wrapped around her as my body hasn't been there to keep her warm.

My little bean. I haven't spent time talking to my baby, asking how much I love him or her every day, yet, I do make the effort to know that I am there. Guilt. Pain. Is this what it feels like to be away from the ones you love?

Sneaking in behind her, I can feel the cold air radiate from her. My mind pulses and I instantly wrap my hands around her. I recite my unspoken forgiveness with kisses as my prayer. Each kiss begged for forgiveness. My hand taped themselves to the home of my little bean and each stroke of my finger begged for their forgiveness too.

Soon morning will rise and I will be gone again, leaving Shira to reminisce our lost passion in every corner of the house. I wish she can forgive me. I wish she doesn't look at me with those doe eyes that seem to persuade me in an unspoken language that will have me crawling back to her, that will have me on my knees begging for mercy. Just begging.

Shira loosens up and her body awakens. "Val?" Her voice, Dio, I missed the harmony of her voice, the way her voice tricks you into doing the most fucked up shit. "Amore, I'm here, sleep." My lips press against her exposed collar bone, her skin still cold as ice. "I love you, you know that right?" Hesitation, my amore questioned her love for me?

The question held so much pain, so much loneliness that whispered I was the traitor. I was to blame and I agreed. She thought I was with another woman. A woman other than her. The thought of that made my stomach twist with nausea.

"Amore, don't think of anything as such, please, you will break me. I love you and it is you who I will always love." Gently, rolling her body around, I notice Shira's eyes become glass. "Please, don't think that please." My arms wrapped around her and I kissed her head, lingering my kiss.

Pulling away, I swiped away the damp surface under her eyes before claiming her lips. "Only for tomorrow that I am gone and then I am all yours." Shira's face lightened and she snuggled into me, breathing in my scent as I did the same.

Her sweet scent of her favourite body wash clouded my nose and drew me into her heaven yet, despite, the gentle back rubs I gave to Shira, she was still unable to sleep.

My fingers laced themselves into her silk hair, combing her baby hairs out of her moonlit face. "Unable to sleep?" I asked and Shira hummed a 'yes'. I smiled as it was the first time in three weeks since I took care of her.

Pulling Shira up against me with care, I cradled my arms around her. My lips pleasured her neck ever so slowly, releasing and soothing all tension in her muscles.

Small erected hairs on the back of her neck shivered at my intimate touch, bringing pleasure to my gaze. My hands travelled to her side, rubbing up and down.

The temperature of her body began to warm up, still cold yet slightly warm. Cold enough to make me snuggle with her and warm enough for the covers to remain distant to her.

I began to whisper sweet nothings to her as I poured my heart out. There was no secret of love that I concealed for her and there never will be one.

-

Morning came quick and today was the final day that I would leave my love bewildered in thought. It brought me pain to let her go once again but I knew I wouldn't be long.

Dante and I have searched everywhere for the perfect ring for Shira yet none caught my attention. I am finalising my deal with the finest jeweller in our city and the very same man who made Mama's engagement ring.

I gave him a design I wanted, which wasn't anything too extravagant. More simple and elegant since those described Shira's style.

The ring was beautiful and I could picture seeing Shira wearing it for rest of her life if she agrees to marry me, I pray she does.

Within the last three weeks, I have asked permission from Shira's family for her hand in marriage and even though from time to time the emotionless stares from Theo, they all happily agreed. In fact both our mothers have been eager for this and since the time has come they want to make it as memorable as possible.

"Would you like anything altered on this ring or is everything alright, Mr Santis?" Nicolas asked, my eyes were fixated on the aquamarine oval ring that gleamed like the ocean when the sunset tickled its skin in its love.

"This is perfect I will take it." Perfectly packed in its cushioned deep blue case, I paid and left the place immediately with the biggest smile on my face. I was finally marrying the woman I craved for.

Yet who knew something had to shatter our happiness in small shards of glass.

-

"Shira, amore, I got you cupcakes from your favourite place." It was odd how Shira didn't answer straight away. "Amore?" I began to grow even more worried, the adrenaline raced and gushed up my veins like a waterfall.

My legs couldn't help but sprint to the room as my instincts warned me something was wrong. Opening the door, I heard silence. An eerie silence that made my heart pound against my rib cage.

My eyes wandered at the perfectly still room until I noticed drops of blood lead to the bathroom. Instinctively, I followed the trail of blood, my mind didn't want to think of the worst case scenario but as I opened the bathroom floor, I dropped the box of cupcakes letting their perfect shape crush like how the image in front of me crushed my heart.

"Amore!" Rushing into the bathroom, I fell to my knees in front of her. Shira looked up from her hands that were stained in the most heart stopping look of blood. The same liquid that I once had tainted on my hand now seemed scarier like a painted devil that a child would fear at the darkest hour of night.

Wrapping my arms around Shira, I tried to block out the tormenting cries that came from her mouth. Pain. I couldn't do nothing but try to calm her down, her body shivered as she gasped for oxygen.

Blood pooled from Shira's legs, cascading down her legs. Her face buried in my chest, her hands gripped my shirt tightly, tugging and pulling hard as she cried harder. It was the first time in years my eyes became glass.

Blood stained my clothes as it seeped into my clothes, embracing me. I didn't wish for this, for me to embrace myself in our unborn child's blood.

Gone was our symbol of love...

...Our little bean.

Hello, my loves, this was such a hard chapter to write about, I'm so sorry and yes I know I am a terrible person to do this but I can guarantee a happy ending.

I can't give you a specific number how many chapters are left but it's not long until the end.

Hope you have a lovely day or a good night's sleep.