《Please Help Me Remember》9
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I wanted to say that I was thinking about him, but I didn't feel bold enough to say it. I knew that he knew what I was thinking about, I can see it on my face in the mirror. I just swallowed and stayed the hanging from Alasdair.
"You don't have to tell me baby" I could hear the smile on his face and it was getting me annoyed. I pulled myself up to come face to face with Alasdair but the smile I was very sure he had on his face wasn't there. I groaned and tried to wiggle myself out of his grasp, but his hold was too strong and I couldn't fight it.
"Let go"
"No"
"Let me go"
"No"
I rolled my eyes before looking straight into his eyes again. " I have to brush my teeth before I eat" I stated and he let me go. I ran to the bathroom brushing my teeth carefully because the last thing I would want is a cavity.
"Alasdair?" I called as I walked into my room. He wasn't there when I entered. I saw close laid neatly on my bed and went to close the door so I could change.
Blue sweater best, white t-shirt, high waisted jeans, white socks, and high top vans. It's cute, Alasdair has taste, I'll give him that. I got dressed quickly, wanting to see everyone. I carried my shoes downstairs knowing not to wear them inside the house. Judging by the smell of bacon and pancakes, someone is up.
Walking downstairs I heard voices. Both belonging to Al and my father. "You have to keep it a secret for now, we cant risk letting her know, she'll remember on her on but as of right now just seclude that away from her" My father sounded worried but his words are solid, "I know" was all Al said.
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When they were quiet I went down the rest of the way coming into their views "what about me that you're trying to keep away?" I asked cocking my head.
"Some things you have to remember on your own because if we throw everything in your face at once, it's going to overwhelm you honey" my dad stated and I just nodded, because I get where his is come I don't want to rush everything at once, even if it takes tears to remember everything.
We all walked into the dining area where mom and brother were already sitting. I sat next to Oliver before asking "don't I have to go to school?"
"If you really want you can go back next week" Al said. "You wanted to become a therapist so you're in your forth year to get you bachelors." I nodded before mom put played in front of us.
I beard a small groan from Oliver so I turned towards him with a raised brow. "I wanted galbi, maybe some kimchi pancakes" he whined and I just rolled my eyes.
"Stop being ungrateful and eat the food mom made" I said raising my voice while slapping him upside the head.
"I swear to the kamisama up above I will put you six feet below the ground, try me"
"Do it I dare you"
"Enough both of you be quiet and eat the food I made or BOTH of you will be six feet below the ground" she paused before adding "try me"
Oli and I quickly shut our mouths before picking up our forks. I looked at Al to see a small smirk playing in his lips and my dad had a full blown smile. "tatta hitokoto iki te iru to shirase"
Trying to rake my brain of my vocabulary I knew what he had said.
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I've missed this
tatta hitokoto iki te iru to shirase
Something nudged my leg and i look down to see Orion. Had he eaten oh my poor baby. I took the bacon I didn't eat from my plate and fes it to him, making sure he had something in his tummy. I laughed when he wagged his tail.
"Well I'm off I need to go back to my office" Al got up and I felt a sense of dread, I didn't realize I was frowning until Al spoke up
"I'll be back don't worry" I only nodded and watched him leave.
Did I have attachment issues? I feel as though I do, I don't like him being away for so long. As the door closed I got up running not caring for the shoes I had brought down. I threw open the door feeling the concrete through my sock. Alasdair was already by the passenger door I didn't want him to leave, he can't leave.
"Alesdair!" He turned around and I didn't cease my running, crashing into him.
I clutched onto him as flashes of the bedroom back at home flashed through my mind.
Sitting there clutching my ears waiting for Alesdair...but Alesdair never came and I'm alone trying to block the loud sounds. My face felt stiff with tears. He knows I don't like storms, he knows I dont like being alone why would he leave me alone! I was scared, he knew that. I hate him, I HATE HIM
I blinked looking at him. "Don't leave me" my voice cracked as I looked up. Don't leave don't leave don't leave. "I'll be right back, go with Oliver" he was about to turn back.
He'll leave you, discard of you. Useless you're USELESS. Does he not like me? No don't think like that of course he does.
"No no no no" i chanted and kept chanting. I don't know whats wrong, I just didn't want to lose him. The back if my eye burned eventually blurring with tears. "Jesus" he uttered taking my hand and pulling me with him. Opening the passenger door he nodded his head inside. I shook my head, not wanting to even be a seat away.
"No!" The shout echoed through the streets. Sobs spilled from out my mouth. Alasdair quickly gathered me into his arms. Immediately I closed my legs around him. He walked around the car sitting down trying to calm me down. His warm hand stroked my back in a comforting manner while he kissed my temple whispering to me. His breath was warm, everything was warm.
"I'm not going anywhere"
He was lying he was lying. Liar he's a liar.
Liar
Liar
Liar
"You're lying, you left me" I was trying to get it out as sobs still came out. "You left me alone I was scared, it was dark and the thunder was too loud, you promised me you'd come back"
"I wont leave you" he pulled me closer his grip was tight. We sat there until my sobs turned into hiccups. He didn't let me go as he put the key in the ignition nor when he pulled out of the space not even as he was driving. I snuggled close.
Mine mine mine mine
Alasdair is mine, no one else's mine.
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