《The Lonely God》50.
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"Then what is it that bought you here?" She asks, letting her hands down. The smile from her lips is gone and now she looks very serious. Cold and calculative.
"You,"
"Me?" She cocks an eyebrow at me.
"I am here to challenge you," My voice echoes in the silent courtroom while everyone is frozen in their places. I find myself holding my breath in anticipation for her to react to it.
Ishtar surprises us both by letting out a giggle. Vest growls inside me, begging me for letting her take control so that she could lunge at her and tear her body to shreds.
I take a deep breath before I start speaking. "I challenge you in anything you are good at," This makes her laugh harder.
"Oh, dear you're so stupid," She says between her laughs.
"Or you're just afraid of losing from me?" This makes her stop laughing. She clenches her teeth and fists as she glares at me. I could see the wheels turning in her head.
"Let's finish this. I am tired of trying to get into Zaeris, anyway," She says as she sighs and for some reason I find my lips curling into a smile. All this time she was unsuccessful in finding a way inside Arles' Kingdom. I could feel the satisfaction in her to see me here. I have made it easier for her.
She turns around and slowly starts to walk towards her throne as she continues, "If I win, I'll have Zaeris and if you win-"
"If I win, you break our bond and lift the curse from Zaeris," I speak, my voice echoes in the courtroom and suddenly, the air around us thickens with tension. I feel Vesta go still inside me. Ishtar halts her steps and slowly turns to look at me while Nadal breathes sharply beside me.
"What?" She raises an eyebrow at me as she tilts her head at a side and studies me from head to toe. She lets out a little laugh before giving me a judgmental look and adding, "Your conditions are so silly but don't worry, you won't stand a chance against me. Your conditions won't be fulfilled," Vesta growls lowly inside me as she concludes.
"Lets' not come to conclusions so quickly Ishtar. For all we know, I could easily beat you,"
"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY POWERS?" She yells. I hit a nerve.
"Sure," I shrug. I could feel rage radiating from Ishtar's body. Her body is visibly shaking. My fingers wrap around my dagger tightly under my cloak while I feel Oculus Reaper charging up with tension and tightening around my arm.
"I, ISHTAR, THE GODDESS OF LOVE AND WAR AND THE PAIRER OF WOLVES, CHALLENGE YOU IN A DUEL!" she bellows, shaking the floor beneath my feet. Suddenly, I feel a surge of confidence taking over me. I learned sword fighting from my mother. I can do this. I can do this!
"But!" she continues as she sharply turns around, and walks back to her throne. She looks down at me as she sits on her throne and tries to appear as an empress, "the sword and rules will be mine,"
I feel my blood run cold.
~
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After having a small meeting with Archander and Haestus, I am walking back to my wing. Alone. I haven't seen her almost a whole day and my insides are aching to see her and touch her. Every fiber in my body is missing her presence.
I told Haestus to look for her previously. He came back with nothing. Where is she? It's making me more and more concerned and agitated for not having her beside me. I want to make up to her. I want her but she is nowhere to be found.
I walk into my wing and head straight for my bedroom. Her scent hits me as soon as I walk into my room. I halt in my steps as I take a deep breath and try to fill my lungs with her intoxicating scent. I was missing her already and now, her scent is torturing me.
She had been in my room when I was away. Sensing by the way the scent is slowly fading away, it has been quite long since she was here. Rey grows impatient inside me. We want to have her in our arms and breathe in her fresh scent and not let her go away from our sight. But I am afraid she'll never let us go near her least touch her after what I said to her and after what she found out about me.
I messed up. I just want her back. I want to apologize to her. I can't feel anything on her side through the mark. She seems to have shut me down completely. It's hurting me more and more. I can't take it. I am at the edge of losing my mind for her.
We were improving. We were learning to love each other but my dark past has put us further apart than we were before I bought her here. This time the damage is bigger and I don't know what it will take for us to get back together.
Oh, my Neffie. Please come back, I try to communicate with her through the bond even after knowing that she won't be able to hear me because our bond is not complete.
I want to tell her that I didn't mean what I said but I have this fear inside me that what I said might be true. I care for her just because she could help me break the bond. I love her not because I feel it naturally for her. I am afraid that the love I feel for her is just a simulated reaction towards her flamed by the mate bond.
I am not capable of love and judging by the kind of woman Nefret is, I could never love her. I couldn't have dared to do that without the bond. I am not strong enough to love a woman like her. She is life and I am death. She is light and I am darkness. She is love and I am hatred. She is all the things I am not, all the things I cannot be.
My eyes meet my reflection in the mirror. I look cold and dead. Exactly the way I am. I can't help but imagine her standing by me, looking at the mirror while tying her hair up. Just the way I like to see her get dressed for the day.
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Rey wants to be let out so that he could go searching for her. An urgent knock makes me snap back from my daze as I realize that I got lost in my thoughts for some moments.
Haestus sneaks into my room with Lyco. Both of them look pale white while their forehead glimmers with sweat beads.
"Your highness," Lyco greets me. His voice is sharp and powerful like always but this time, I detect a tone of uneasiness in it. Something's wrong. I am afraid it's about her.
"We saw her sneaking out with Nadal," As soon as Lyco is done speaking, a thundering growl shakes the floor beneath our feet while the windows rattle wildly.
It was me.
It was the sound of my heart being torn to shreds.
~
"This is your sword," Ishtar comments with a hint of smugness as her men present me with what looks like the bluntest sword that ever existed. My head snaps back to look at her and I almost contain myself from growling out loud at her.
I take the sword and examine it. It's made of rawest steel, covered with sings of years and years of ignorance. I run my finger along the side which was supposed to be sharp. The sword is greatly imbalanced. It cannot even cut air. I cannot expect to fight a duel with Ishtar with this sword.
A metallic screech makes me look up to find Ishtar standing with a sharp sword. It's so sharp, it could cut the light. Her lips are curled up in a mocking smile as she looks me down.
"Here's your armor," At her command, her men bring a rusted set of armor. They drop it at my foot before walking away. I pick them up and have a close look at them. They are in very bad condition. They are close to being declared as a pile of junk.
I look at her armor. It's made of some unearthly metal which looks strong enough to sustain thunder. The shield of my armor is weak as well. Her sword could easily cut past it.
"Any difficulties?" She asks mockingly but I just shake my head at her as I try to figure out how I am going to put the armor on my body. To put the armor on my body is just a small concern compared to the thought of fighting in it with the blunt sword and the weak shield in the name of defense.
I let my cloak drop and adjust my dress before I put the armor on me. I feel the judging eyes of Ishtar and her male subjects burning on me but I solely ignore them as I concentrate on my task.
"Now that you're ready, here are the rules." She speaks while rising from her throne. I grip my sword hard, readying myself for whatever it is there to come next.
"Look at my emblem on the floor," she points to the huge symbol of moon in the middle of the courtroom. There are many phrases and symbols inscribed on it in circular arrangements that I don't understand. It's decorated with gold and silver and almost reflects all the light in the room, making it look so lively. As if it's made of small rays and fire flames.
I look at the circumference of the symbol. It's big enough to fit twenty people easily but small enough for two people to dual inside it properly. Suddenly, panic starts to rise in me.
"We'll fight inside the emblem," she confirms my doubt. My heart starts to race inside my chest and suddenly, I feel light-headed but she continues, "The person who steps outside, ends up losing one piece of their armor,"
Beads of cold sweat start to cover my forehead and my breath comes out ragged. It takes everything in me to gulp down the lump building in my throat.
Everything seems against my favor. I have a sword which is useless and my armor is restricting me from moving freely while my shield is not strong enough to protect me. What shall I do?
I can't go back now. I'll be a laughing stock if I go back and it's not in my blood to step back. I have chosen this destiny. I close my eyes and take a deep breath to calm myself. I try to think of things I love but his face starts floating in front of my eyes.
My eyes swell up with tears but I swallow them down. I am here just because of him. I am doing this for a man who doesn't love me. In this love of war, I have been defeated anyway. There's no meaning in the victory even if I defeat Ishtar. It's not like I'll be able to beat her with my blunt sword and crappy armor anyway.
"What happened? Scared?" She mocks as she stands up from her throne and nears the emblem. I slowly open my eyes, maintaining my calm as I answer, "If I lose, tell the Moirais to sever my thread and call the grim reapers." This way, I won't have to see him if I lose everything.
I contain myself from saying the last line. I feel the overwhelming urge to let my tears out but I can't. At least in front of Ishtar. It'll be a sign of weakness but I am having a hard time holding back my tears as the realization dawns upon me that I wouldn't get to see him or hear from him anymore. The last time we met, we fought. Now, he won't be there again. Heck, he won't care if I am gone, I am sure of this.
Ishtar lets out a laugh before speaking, "If you insist then I can do it now because we both know that you'll be losing to me. Zaeris is mine. Oh, you don't know how unworthy of that throne you are." A part of me snaps at her words and I feel Vesta take control. I am pushed back at the back of my mind where I could curl up and cry my heart out for a man who'd never care if I walk out alive from this place.
"I am the queen of Zaeris and I intend to keep it this way until eternity," Speaks Vesta as she steps inside the emblem. Ishtar glares at us as he joins us inside. With a loud thud, the ring outside the moon shifts, locking us inside.
Destiny, here I come...
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"You know that I'm dying and you still want this?" I asked confused.She walked slowly to me, never taking her eyes off me. Like two piece of magnet coming together, I couldn't pull away. Resting her forehead on mine, she finally spoke "I love you"
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