Bad romance by Lady Gaga but you are crying in the club because you were rejected

"What are they about?" His voice deepens as he asks and I feel a lump building in my throat as unwanted tears pool my eyes.

"You," Silence follows my answer. I could feel him holding his breath above me as my heart starts to race in my chest. I feel a pang of guilt. What did I just say? Was I supposed to say that?

I hold my breath as I tilt my head to look at him. His silver eyes are glowing in the dark as he looks down at me with an emotion which I have never experienced before. I don't know if there's exists any word that could describe the look on his face or I am even strong and capable enough to feel what he is feeling right now.

The blue streaks in his silver eyes look so vibrant. They look at the verge of overpowering all the silver in his eyes. They look at the verge of washing over all the emotions in his eyes. I let out a small gasp when his hands come up to rest on my cheeks, holding me in place as he leans down and rests his forehead against mine. I feel the sparks come to life instantly; dancing over my skin, giving birth to those warm fuzzy feelings that only come with him.

My eyes instantly flutter shut as I feel tranquility wash over me while my thoughts drain out of my head. Where are they going? Before I could come up with any possible explanation in my head, he is pulling back, his hands disappearing, taking away the sparks with him. I snap my eyes open as I feel disappointment.

His Silver eyes are glowing in the darkness, regarding me before he moves to the other side of the bed. There was this hardness in his eyes, it was enough to shatter my glass heart. I am starting to question the waves of emotions that wash over the shore of my thoughts, taking away the reality with them as they return back to the ocean. What's happening? I seem to be losing my mind all of a sudden.

"Goodnight," Is all he mutters before laying on his side and turning his back to me. I sit up and look at him. He seems distant all of a sudden. The warmth that he brings with his presence to me seems to have seized to exist. There's this intangible wall between us all of a sudden that I don't know how to climb.

I shouldn't have said that.

"Arles?" I sound so vulnerable calling for him. He doesn't answer me. The guilt I've been feeling before intensifies. What did I do?

Suddenly, the realization comes crashing down on me. Currently, I am staring at the man I've hated the most and right now, I feel guilty because I just said something that might have hurt him. But why? I shouldn't be feeling it, right? He hurt me more, right? Then I shouldn't be feeling guilty hurting him back, right? But for some reason, I find myself growing a soft place for him.

I am afraid that I am starting to... like him. I am starting to sprout feelings for him on the same land where the molten lava of hate and loathing flowed. Is it... normal? How did I reach here? When did I reach here? Is there a way out? Or am I trapped here forever?

I let out a ragged breath at the train of my thoughts. It sends a shiver down my spine. What's happening of me? This feels so wrong but somehow right. Wasn't it something I wanted? A mate? I wanted to be wanted. I craved for affection when I dwelled in the mortal realm, didn't I?

Oh, how jealous I used to feel of the people around me who had someone who wanted them. How lonely I used to feel. It's now I realize that since I came here, I didn't feel that once. The loneliness. It seemed to have been left behind in that mortal real ever since he bought me here. He was with me, in some way or the other. Either keeping an eye on me or keeping me company. I wonder what will happen if I go away right now? Will I find the same loneliness again?

I find myself moving closer to him as I sink deeper into the pool of my thoughts. It feels like he's the bottom and I am the anchor who's sinking deep due to the weight of my thoughts and emotions until I reach him.

"Arles?" My voice comes out as a whisper but somehow it sounds louder in this deadly silent night. Maybe, it wasn't a whisper. Maybe it was the sound of my breaking heart. He doesn't answer me but for some reason, I know that he is listening.

He is awake. His breaths are even but they aren't relaxed. I am sitting just behind him before I lean down and find myself pressing my lips against the side of his forehead. The sparks come to life as soon as our skin makes contact.

"Goodnight, Arles," I say before lying by his side. I throw one of my hands over him while my front is pressing his back.

It's odd how he is the subject of my nightmares but he's the only one who could take them away. The thing is, he doesn't know the latter part.

~

I wake up in the morning to find him gone. I groan in disappointment as I crawl out of the bed. After I dress up for the day, I am accompanied by Armelius to the courtroom where everyone is already present. I take my place by Arles who seems cold and distant this morning. I hold myself back from frowning in front of everyone.

The session starts the same way it started yesterday. Everyone gives inputs regarding their concerning field. Arles listens to everyone while Armelius takes note. I find Nadal is present here today as well. He's sitting silently, observing everything. Once our eyes meet. He gives me a hard look before looking away.

"I don't like Nadal," I mutter lowly so that only Arles can hear me. He turns to look at me before he cocks an eyebrow at me.

"And?" I give him a pointed look at the tone of his voice.

"And?" I echo him.

"He's one of my trusted men. He does his work said way." Arles speaks coldly. I find myself looking at Nadal instantly to find him looking at us with his eyes narrowed.

"Something about him doesn't feel right-"

"He has been working for me for years, Nefret." I am shocked at the hardness of his voice. It makes me want to shout at him. No one talks to me like that. I grind my teeth before letting out a deep breath and looking away.

The session continues. Pius Capito, the External Affairs minister gives his input. It mostly comprises of some disputes with the faeries and some issues with Hades regarding some grim reapers. For someone reason, Arles and Pius give Archander a pointed look, who, shrugs and tries to look oblivious to the matter. Haestus is lost in his own thoughts.

After the session ends, Arles is accompanied by Lyco Suilius, Euclio, and Sosicles to the borders. I am left behind with Armelius as he discusses some matters with Archander. It seems more like he is scolding Archander. I can't decide.

"Your highness," Speaks a voice behind me which has me turning around to find Nadal.

"Nadal," I acknowledge him to which he titles his head at a side and gives me a judging look.

"I've been working here for years. It won't be easy, trust me." He says before he walks away. As I see his figure disappearing in the crowd, I feel like following him and holding him by his collar and making him confess things.

"I'll do it, anyway. " I mutter more to myself.

~

I put on the black cloak as I step out in the back garden of Arles' wing. My eyes find the forest at the edge of the garden, waiting for me to explore it. I pull the cloak tighter around my body as I eat the distance between me and the forest.

I follow the trail and walk the same path I had walked some days ago. Soon, I am in an abandoned village. As I cross the houses, I hear the whispers. I follow them until I reach the graveyard. In no time, I am standing in front of the well, ready to fall into it and be transported back to a distant past where I never existed.

With a deep breath, I lean against the railing of the well, until my feet lose the touch of the ground and the gravity claims me. The voices become loud, blending with one other and somehow forming one voice. I still can't comprehend what they're saying.

I am falling deeper into the well. At some point, I can't tell which way I am falling. The wind is whooshing past my ears and my eyes are squeezed shut. I feel this pressure around me as if I am being squeezed to fit inside a jar.

Suddenly, I am standing. I open my eyes to find myself standing in front of the same hut I saw last time. I look around. The place is empty and silent. Only the murmur of water could be heard in the background from the river nearby.

The sun is down, it's dark here. Footsteps are heard suddenly. Before I could turn back and look who it is, a tall figure walks by me. Their muscular back is facing me. It seems like a man. He's shirtless; his black, curly hair is drenched and plastered to his neck.

Suddenly, my heart starts to race as I realize that it's Arles. He has grown up. He walks up to the door of the hut before he stops there. I hold my breath as he knocks on the door. The door slowly opens to reveal the man who beated little Arles in the previous vision.

A look of terror crosses his eyes as soon as they fall on Arles. The air thickens with tension.

"Master," Arles growls at the man who tries to step back and shut the door but Arles stops him by holding the door firmly. "I've found out the truth," speaks Arles slowly. The tone of his voice sends shivers down my spine as I stand there and look at the scene unfolding in front of my eyes.

"W-what are you talking about?" The old man stutters as Arles urges him inside the hut.

"You know everything, Master," Is all I hear before a thundering growl shakes the land below my feet. A shrill cry is heard before loud growling overpowers his cries of mercy.

The cracking of bones is heard followed by animalistic grunts. I feel my blood run cold. I collect all the courage inside me as I step by the window of the hut and peer inside it. The whole place is covered with blood and the floor is covered with questionable substances. They look like the ravaged organs of the man.

What I see next takes my breath away. A big black wolf is standing in the middle of the room, tearing away of what is left of the lifeless body of the man.

"Arles," I feel weak in my stomach as I see him acting like a wild animal. His eyes look inhuman, filled with malice and hunger. He's covered with blood, a satisfied look on his face as he looks down on what is left of the man. The scene looks so graphic, I find myself squeezing my eyes shut as I step back. How can I unsee this? It's going to haunt me forever.

The cracking of bones is heard before I hear him step out of the hut, coated with blood, looking like a monster. A sob leaves my mouth before the scene in front of me is dissolving.

The next scenes follow one after the other. In each of them, he is killing people. With each scene, I am losing my sanity. I want it to stop but I couldn't stop it. I chose to see this and now I have to get through this. I've lost count when the scene changes again. This time I am in a courtroom which looks slightly similar to the current courtroom in the palace.

I recognize Aurelio and Brida sitting on the throne. I also recognize their son Zair. The trio is looking powerful and aristocratic. Suddenly, a soldier comes in and announces that there's a visitor. Aurelio tells him to let the visitor in. The soldier bows and disappears. In the next moment, the huge doors of the courtroom open and a hooded figure walks in.

My stomach drops when I realize that the hooded figure is Arles.

"Who are you?" Aurelio asks and a look of discomfort crosses Brida's face as she studies Arles. As Arles lifts the hood up to reveal his face, the time seems to have stopped.

"The real heir of that throne," He growls pointing to the throne Aurelio is sitting one. A loud scream pierces the whole scene before Aurelio calls for the guards.

But it's too late.

His hungry eyes will be only satisfied when he tastes their blood. Everything is in chaos as he starts to change, his black wolf coming to the surface to change everything and write the past of the Lonely God.

The scene dissolves in front of my eyes but the scream is still there until I realize that it's mine. My stomach tightens and my heart starts to race wildly in my chest. It feels like it will dig its way out. I break off into a sob as I am being transported back to reality, to the present.

I have so many thoughts clouding my mind, it feels is disturbing. My mark is starting to burn again but I know better than to try to claw it out like last time.

I feel the floor of the graveyard under me as I drop to my knees and try to fight the sick feeling inside me as I cry my heart out.

"So this is where you've been coming all this time?"