《The Lonely God》29.
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3 Doors Down- Here Without You
I sigh after stepping outside the room she is staying in.
I have done the easiest part: bringing her to Zaeris. Now, I have to work on the hardest part: get her to be the queen. I know that she'll be the finest queen. Archander told me about her diplomatic skills and leadership traits that were shadowed in her pack. Not only that but she is also a hybrid. I am sure that she got the hybrid genes from her mother, Erika.
I've known Erika for a long time but I never expected her daughter to be my mate. I remember Erika to be a strong she-wolf, a fierce warrior, the Luna of Andrew's pack. My Nefret definitely stole her mother's beauty. Her personality is raw and pure. I know that she is hard to bend. She didn't submit to my power when we didn't know we were mates. By this, I can say she will be a strong queen.
But making her accept the throne is the hardest part. To be the queen, she'll have to accept me as her mate and I know that's the last thing she is willing to do. She hates me. Well, everybody does. I am immune to it but my wolf, Rey has attached himself to her. He expects her to be emotionally warm to us, to gives us something that we've been starved of and denied forever.
Right now, I want Nefret to train as a queen. I will give her some time to get used to it and accept the throne but in this given time, if she doesn't accept the throne then I'll be pushy. Judging by the condition of my people, I should've made her the queen right away but I am giving her time. I have given her five years; a couple of months won't do much difference.
I exit my wing and head towards the library, thinking about a certain person who I think will be able to train my Nefret. After walking through numerous corridors and several turns, I reach the library.
As soon as I enter the library, my eyes find a particular head sprouting with white hair, peeking out from behind a bookshelf.
"Armelius..." I call out. He steps out from behind the shelf and gives me a questioning look while holding some books in his hand.
"She is here," I say sternly and he nods coldly at me before walking to the grand table and placing the books there.
"What do you expect me to do?" He demands coldly while turning his back towards me. His actions anger my wolf but I cannot do anything to him. He is my Royal Advisor and despite his behavior towards me, I respect him because he is a wise man. His pieces of advice saved my kingdom from a lot of troubles.
He doesn't like me but respects me because I am the King. I share the dislike too but we don't act on our dislike because of the respect me have in common for each other.
"I want you to train her," I command while stepping deeper into the library, near the grand table laden with books that sit in the center of the room.
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"I am the Royal Advisor, not a governess," He spits while pulling out a chair to sit. He takes a book and starts searching for something.
"You do as your highness demands," I say while taking a seat by him and looking at him sternly. He stops flipping the pages of the book and looks at me with rage in his eyes. His nose flairs with anger and I couldn't help but smirk at him.
"I am bound by the order of your highness," he says before looking away, his hands are clenching the book hard enough to tear it off.
~
I stare out of the window. I don't know what to do. I want to run away but I can't. I don't know this place well. I don't know where I am at. I don't know what awaits me here.
Suddenly, I am scared of the future. I have never felt as venerable as now. Vesta is pacing inside me as well. What's happening? What am I going to do?
I don't see a road that'd lead me to the place I want to go. I feel like being surrounded by deep water which I don't know how to swim. This deep water being Arles' kingdom.
He wants me to be the queen.
The Queen.
It's not easy being a queen. People have so many expectations from a queen. I've been a big disappointment to all the expectations anyone ever had from me. I am afraid that I'll be a disappointment as a queen as well. All the responsibilities, all the people and Arles... everything scares me.
I'd be much happier if I were thrown into my pack prison for challenging Phoebe instead. In that case, at least I'd have known what could come next. Life as a prisoner is not easy but at least I wouldn't have to meet people's expectations. No one expects anything from a prisoner but to die.
I want to die. I have been waiting for my death ever since. I used to be scared every day thinking that it could be my last day. I thought dying was the hardest part but I was wrong. Turns out, living is the hardest part.
I don't want to live anymore.
I want to... suddenly, someone knocks on my door. I let out a frustrated sigh. If this is Arles again then I am going to burn him. I leave the bedroom and enter the sitting area before opening the door.
The door opens to reveal an old man standing on its other side. Every single hair on his head has turned white including his eyebrows. The wrinkles on his face speak about his age and his hard, calculating brown eyes have a look of intelligence to them that could only be gained by experience. He is wearing a black cloak whose edge rests on the floor lazily. He is quite tall and is lean. He looks cold and distant.
"Your majesty," He speaks sternly. I tilt my head at a side while assessing him from top to bottom.
"I am Nefret," I say, tipping my chin up and looking him in the eyes. For a moment, he looks down as if in submission, overwhelmed by my gaze.
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"I am Armelius, the Royal Advisor and I am here to train you," He says while looking at my toes.
"Look at me, my face is here," I say pointing to my face. He looks up but doesn't make eye contact, "and tell your king that I won't be his queen. I'd rather be damned!" I spit. At this, he looks me in the eyes.
"You cannot reject the throne, Nefret. You don't have a choi-"
"And as far as I know the Royal Advisor doesn't play governess," I interrupt him and the look of frustration crosses his face before he presses his lips in a thin line. He sighs deeply.
"Just like Armelia was," He mutters under his breath but I am not able to catch the whole thing.
"What?"
"Nothing,"
"I am ordered to introduce you to the law and order of his highness and the throne that you'll be..."
"I am not going to be the queen," I hiss but he continues to speak.
"...be commanding. I am loyal to his highness. I do as he commands," He finishes speaking. There's this sternness in the tone of his voice that makes me listen to him. I glare at him but he seems unfazed by me. He raises an eyebrow at me instead.
"I don't give a fvck!" I spit on his face.
"No one cares," He says shrugging and my mouth hangs open. If I thought Arles was impossible then I may be wrong. Looking at this old man standing in front of me in disbelief, I might place Arles second on the list of most annoying people.
"Ughhhhhh," I throw my hands in the air and clench my teeth, "GET OUT!" I growl at the old man but he seems unfazed and unaffected by my tantrum. He looks down at me with a certain emotion in his eyes that I can't name. He shakes his head at me lightly and continues to stand there. His hands are crossed politely before him.
"I don't want to do this. You can't force me to be something that I don't want to be!" I say, pointing an accusing finger at him. He sighs again.
"I know you've been bought here today. It may seem overwhelming to you..." He pauses before looking behind me at something. I turn to look in the direction he is looking. His eyes are fixed on the portrait of the woman on the wall. Her silver eyes are fixed at us. They look so real and familiar. The expression on her face looks eerie. She reminds me of someone. I just can't put a finger on it.
Every time I look at the painting, the woman seems to be more familiar yet unfamiliar. Who is she? I wanted to ask but he clears his throat making me snap from my daze and look back at him.
"I'll give you one day to settle," He says before leaving while I stand there and grind my teeth in frustration and unprecedented anger. I can't stand this man already.
I slam the door shut before going back to the bedroom and collapsing on the bed. I laid there and kept thinking of a plan to escape. I have to figure a way out of here.
I don't know how long I've been lying on the bed when another knock rings out. I get up this time with the intention to murder the person on the other side of the bed. It's the third time today. It better not be Arles. It better not be anyone. It better be thin air knocking on my door or else I'll start a bloodbath!
I clench my teeth painfully and open the door to find Archander waiting in the hallway patiently this time . I growl and glare at him. I want to murder him.
"Are you hungry? I am sure you haven't had anything since yesterday when your family decided to treat you like a rag," He says and I growl at him.
"I don't want to ea-"
"The Royal chef makes the best pastries. You must try them," He says while stepping inside and looping his arm around mine and tugging me out of the room even before I can say something. I glare at him when my stomach growls loudly at the mention of pastries. He knows that I love pastries and once helped me to steal some from the local bakery. He also knows that I am hungry.
I know that this is one of his attempts to make it up to me. This makes me angrier at him because he knows that there are high chances that I'll forgive him if he treats me with decent pastries. The way to my heart is through my stomach. I am really hungry so I am postponing my plans to murder him.
"I hate you," I growl under my breath as we walk out of the corridor into the large room with the dry fountain in the center. He leads me outside the large door through which he bought me here.
I find him occasionally glancing down at me.
"What?" I ask him at one point because it was getting more and more annoying.
"You look good in that dress. You should also wear jewelry. It will look good on you. Arles had them made only for you by the best jewelers of gods..." Archander mutters looking ahead and my steps falter at his words but I compose my balance instantly.
My stomach twitches in my abdomen and my heart stutter in my chest. I don't know how I should feel about it. I remember all those racks and racks of jewelry made of jewels and metals that I couldn't even name.
That's definitely a lot for only me.
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