《The Lonely God》24.
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This chapter was preweritten so I decided to give you all a treat ;)
"What was that?" Phoebe asks, glaring at me, breathing fire. Right after the conversation with the Head of the Council Members, she dragged me into her office before excusing ourselves from the people in the meeting.
"What was what?" I ask, trying to sound innocent. She growls at me and her eyes darken. Her wolf is at the surface and I feel Vesta surfacing too. She is done with others suppressing her. She wants to rise and show everyone what she is capable of.
"You challenged my Alpha title!" She growls. Her voice is deep and guttural. It's definitely her wolf on the surface. I open my mouth to speak, that's when the door blows open and dad enters the room.
"What just happened?" He asked crossing his arms on his chest and looking at both of us sternly.
"SHE CHALLENGED MY ALPHA TITLE IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE ALPHAS!" Phoebe bellows, pointing her finger accusingly at me. Her eyes are bleeding black and her canines are exposed. Vesta is furious about her accusation and so am I. I didn't do such a thing! I didn't even say the word alpha to start with.
My blood is boiling. How dare she accuse me like that! I am about to lunge at Phoebe but I feel being pulled back by my arm. I turn around to find dad glaring down at me. His eyes are bleeding black as well and there's this feral look on his face that says he isn't pleased with my action.
"I did not expect this from you!" He growls. I could feel his claws coming out and digging into my arm before blood trails down.
"I di-"
"YOU CROSSED THE LINE, NEFRET!" He bellows and Vesta is mad. She wants to be let out and do some serious harm to them but I can't do that. They're my family. My own blood. I cannot hurt them, not physically. I have to make them understand that I did no such thing. I don't want the Alpha title. In fact, I never wanted to be the Alpha.
"Dad, please listen. I di-" I am interrupted by a thundering growl from him. His claws dig deeper into my arm. The air around the room has thickened. It's buzzing with tension like a live wire. It's getting harder for me to breathe every moment. My head is throbbing and there's this adrenaline rush in me that's overpowering my senses.
"I WILL BANISH YOU!" Phoebe growls at me and now Vesta wants to take control badly. She's fighting me to let her to the surface and I am doing all in me to keep her inside. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. Everyone's attention is diverted for the moment. Dad let's go of my arm which is now bleeding badly.
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"I'll deal with you tomorrow when everything is over. Till then, stay in your room and don't come out." He growls lowly and I nod weekly before heading towards the door and opening it. The Head of the Council member is here. He offers me a warm smile as soon as he sees me. I smile at him too before excusing myself and leaving the office silently.
Next, I rush to my room and enter it before shutting the door behind me. Vesta is still fighting me to let her out but I can't do that. A lump is building in my throat and there's this intense pain in my chest that's crushing my insides. The high tides of pain are washing over the ruins inside me.
I step out of my shoes and collapse on my bed. What happens next surprises me.
I start crying.
Not the internal and dry crying that I've been doing for years. I am crying for real. Tears are streaming down my face endlessly. It's surprising how this barren land has managed to bleed water after all these years. I thought I lost the ability to cry. I thought that I lost the ability to let my emotions out. I thought I had control over me. I thought I mastered to keep my pain buried inside me. I thought many things. But I never thought that they will do this to me.
What's happening to me? What am I being punished for? What did I do to deserve this?
I let out a low sob as I turn around and bury my face in the pillow.
"What happened your highness?" Archander asks gently, standing by the bed. I sniff before growling at him. I want to be left alone. He seems to have gotten the message because, in the next moment, I feel him leave.
I let out another sob and then the next and I cry the whole evening. I stayed in my bed crying as the sun disappeared under the horizon and darkness took over. The pillow I've been crying on is now drenched with my tears. These tears are dense with my overwhelming pain and misery.
I couldn't stop crying. Vesta is pacing inside me. She still wants to fight them. She's strong unlike me. She's craving blood. She's thinking of doing all those things to her family that she shouldn't. It scares me. What's happening of me? I am thinking to hurt my own family? What's wrong with me?
I pull the covers over me, hoping to disappear from the world.
I pull the pillow close to me, hugging it tightly as my tears continue to flow. I lie in the dark, ruing over the broken pieces that I know will be never mended. My heart is crushing right now.
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There's no one by my side. I am alone. I am scared. I am scared about what's going to happen tomorrow. I could be banished from the pack and labeled as a rogue. If that happens then no other pack will ever accept me. I'll be an outcast. I'll be devastated. I'll be destroyed. I won't have anywhere else to go. Where will I go? Where will I live? What will happen to me?
I want to die. I always wanted to die but today, the urge to die is very strong. I want to leave. I am not needed here but if I leave, then where will I go?
If they decide to banish me then I'll request them to make me an Omega instead. It's the lowest rank in the pack and I would have to live like a slave but I am ready to do that. Being an Omega is far better than being declared as a Rogue. At least I'll get to stay in a pack. Vesta doesn't care. She wants to leave. She has this overwhelming confidence that tells me that leaving will be better for us.
Vesta howls inside me. She is hurt and pained with what happened but unlike me, she seeks revenge. She wants to destroy everything. She wants to hurt those who hurt her.
As another excruciating pain takes over my chest, I feel drifting in darkness, welcomed by my nightmares.
~
"There must be something you could do, Demeter?" I ask the goddess in front of me. She keeps silent and continues to look at the roses in her garden. As she walks deeper into the garden, I roll my eyes and follow her in the garden.
I look at the red roses. It reminds me of her. My Nefret. Beautiful and unique like the flower but strong and dangerous like the thorns. I cannot see her. I cannot meet her yet but I keep sending her these roses every year on Calentha ceremony.
Rey is dying to see her again but I promised to give her the time and space she needs to grow up first. I am afraid if I go seeing her then I might end up taking her. I know that she won't be very pleased to see me. I know she is terrified of me and probably hates me. But that was before we were mates. I want to know how she'd react when she'll come to know that we're mates. Maybe she'll show me some affection.
All these years I've been trying to keep myself enough busy so that I could forget about seeing her and not feel tempted to go back and bring her back with me. I want to see her. I want to see what she has turned into. I left back a witty, innocent and intelligent girl. I want to see and know what kind of woman she has turned into.
"Demeter?" I ask again. She hums at me before concentrating on her flowers again.
"I asked you something, Demeter." I remind her.
"Arles, the problem isn't in my crops. It's in your land." She says while leaning down and looking at some of the new buds.
"What do you mean?"
"It's Ishtar..." she trails off before plucking off a bud and turning around to face me. She takes my hand and places the bud in my hand before continuing," If you plant this bud in your land then it will die... Ishtar. She not only took the fertility from your land but turned everything into poison."
I raise my eyebrow at her.
"But as far as I remember the curse was of turning my land infertile," I tell her. She nods at me before turning back and walking deeper into the garden.
"There's more to the word infertile than you could imagine, Arles." She says and part of her words makes sense to me. Ishtar made my kingdom barren. She took away the fertility from my lands, turned the water into poison, took away my men's mates and unblessed them who haven't found their mates yet. She killed all the she-wolves in my kingdom. She made sure that nothing could be born in my Kingdome.
"So you can't do anything?" I ask again, collecting the last crumbles of hope left inside me.
"No." She says before disappearing. I close my fingers around the bud and grind my teeth together. Ishtar has crossed all the limits. I approached Demeter to help me grow crops on my barren land but she can't help me.
I have to find another way.
I turn around and exit her garden before leaving her place. My blood is boiling with rage. I want to do something to stop this.
When I reach the gates of my palace, I find Archander pacing there. I growl at the sight of him. What is he doing here? He's supposed to be with my Nefret and guarding her!
"ARCHANDER!" I growl out loud, claiming his attention. He comes running to me right away.
"What are you doing here?" I growl at him, stepping closer. He left my Nefret alone! Anything could happen to her!
"Arles, it's her. You need to see her soon..."
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