"Forgive me," his teeth grazed along my jaw, hot puffs of air leaving his lips with each hard thrust and fanning over my sensitive skin.

I breathed out shakily, my hands running through his hair and legs tightening their hold on his hips. He amount of times he had apologised since we arrived in my bedroom made the actual apology completely lose its meaning.

With one arm by my head to hold his body above mine, our chests lightly brushing against each other with each movement, he trailed his free hand up from the side of my waist to the side of my breast.

"Tell me you forgive me," his low voice made me shiver in pleasure and my eyes fell shut and lips parted, his lips brushing against the side of my ear.

His rough hand slowly continued feeling me up, until it situated on my neck. My eyes flew open in slight panic when I registered exactly what he was doing.

"Ben—"

"Say it," his gravelly voice rumbled up from his chest, his face lifting from the crook of my neck for our eyes to meet.

He gave me a particularly hard and rough thrust just as he began applying careful and pulsing pressure to the sides of my neck just below my jaw. He wasn't pressing down against my windpipe, which led me to the conclusion that he knew how to choke his sexual partner.

"No," I stood my ground while desperately trying to stay afloat amidst the rough pleasure he gave me, being sent to cloud nine every single time he angled his thrusts just right. This was just the right amount of pain mixed into the pleasure, and I loved it.

I felt my airflow being constricted, before the pulsing pressure he was putting on my neck lessened and I could breath again. This pushed me closer and closer to my release, which hadn't been far away to begin with.

With his jaw clenched and eyes frustrated that I wasn't giving in, Ben closed the small distance between our lips in a punishing kiss, muffling out a moan that slipped past my lips.

"I'm sorry, Sofia," his thrusts suddenly slowed down a great deal, and I felt like crying at how close I had been, "I'm really fucking sorry."

It was as if a switch clicked inside him and he turned now to be much more gentle.

"Harder," I managed, trying to get him to comply with my legs wrapped around his hips.

Ben didn't reply and instead began leaving slow and hot open-mouthed kisses down the front of my neck after having removed his hand.

"I'm sorry," he kept repeating lowly and quietly, "say you forgive me."

I let my eyes close and forced myself to adapt to his sudden change of pace. I leaned my head back and revelled in feeling him move inside me and his hot lips kissing my skin, now taking his time.

I now felt like crying at how intimate this felt, and how hurt I was by him. It was a mistake having brought him to my house, I should have just gone over to his, because that way I could have sneaked off when he was asleep.

"There's no more secrets," he told me, words paced with his actions, "I'll let you leave the mafia. We can be together now."

How sincere he sounded only made me more emotional, so I ignored him completely.

Despite his slowed down pace, I reached my orgasm sooner than I had expected. With my fingers tangled in his hair I tugged his face up to mine from my chest so that I could kiss him, muffling out my moans. My legs tightened around him impossibly, burying his length inside me. He stayed still and kissed me back, moving only once my legs enabled him to do so.

"You up for another one?" Ben offered me a small smile, dark eyes focusing on mine, "you're so beautiful it hurts."

I was still coming down from the after-waves of my orgasm, running my hands through his hair lazily and fighting to keep my eyes open as he neared his release.

I couldn't help but let out the tiniest giggle, pathetically amused at what a horrible mess we were together.

Ben gently bit the skin on my shoulder once he released inside of me. Sloppy thrusts continuing a few more times before he collapsed on top of my body, both of us breathing heavily.

As heavy as he was, and as much as it affected my ability to breath, I let him stay buried inside of me and relax for a moment. His lips brushed against the side of my neck with each breath he took, while my fingers softly ran through his hair and against his scalp as I stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom.

How could I tell him to leave and that this was really it? I knew that on some level Ben was aware of this having been the last time. Not just the last time we had sex but also the last time we would ever be in contact.

I needed to get away from him, but at the same time the thought physically pained me.

"Please tell me that you'll forgive me?" His low voice sounded after a moment, not moving from his position, "not now, but when you've had time to think this through."

I was quiet for a moment before bringing my hands down from his hair to gently push against his chest, signalling for him to get off me while his member softened inside of me.

"I can't," I told him, my voice barely louder than a whisper, sounding broken. I couldn't meet his gaze when he did lift himself up to sit between my legs, pulling out in the process and leaving me feeling cold and empty.

"Sofia I need you in my life," he spoke genuinely, and my heart ached, "I'm letting you leave and go work for Tony Prince if it's what you want. I'll give you time but I'm not going to give you up."

"Please leave now," I told him, "I have an early morning."

"Sofia?" Ben sounded so confused and I knew he was desperately hoping I'd look at him, but I didn't.

Instead I sat up on the side of the bed before getting up and heading to my closet, from where I slipped on an oversized white teeshirt to sleep in.

"Sofia, come on," he had followed me and now stood in the doorway while tugging up his boxers, our gazes meeting in the dimness, "I want to give you everything. Anything you want is yours, all you have to do is name it."

I folded my arms over my chest and sighed, giving him a firm expression despite the whirlwind of emotions raging inside me.

"I want you out of my life."

"That's not—" he began, already shaking his head.

My brows raised, my walls coming up and enabling me to act very cold toward him again with my feelings pushed aside, "I want you to leave Tony and me both alone. I want you to talk things over with your father and go to therapy for the things you've had to go through. You need to talk to someone."

"I only want to talk to you," Ben took a step closer, being incredibly vulnerable which was so out of character for him and something he had only done with me, "I need you by my side."

I shook my head, "you need professional help. If you want to work through your childhood you can't rely on me to make it happen, do you understand?"

"I do, but—"

"Good. Now please get your stuff and leave," I had to look away, feeling truly upset all over again.

We weren't fit for each other, at least not now or in the near future with so many unresolved issues.

Without another word Ben returned to my bedroom to gather his clothes. I went into my bathroom to clean myself up and also to hide away from him, my resolve so thin that I didn't trust myself around him.

After I had cleaned myself up I stood in front of the mirror and examined the marks he had left on my body. The most prominent and visible were two deep and dark purple hickeys were on the side of my neck and the other right above my collarbone. As childish as hickeys were, I was positive it was his desperate attempt to try to claim me and keep some type of control over me.

It didn't take long for me to hear my front door open and close. Only then I left my bathroom and immediately went over to my bedroom window to be able to peek out and see Ben getting into his car in the darkness of the night, now wearing his suit again.

I watched as he sat in the driver's seat for a few minutes before driving off.

The more rational side of me was positive that this was for the best. He was toxic and not good for me. But then my feelings wanted him to say everything he could to fix this and fight for me. I felt conflicted to the point of insanity, but decided that time for myself was best right now. I needed to get over him.

I also wished only the best for him and truly hoped he would be able to fix his and his father's broken relationship and work through his childhood with a professional. I didn't want him to be so angry and closed up all the time.

Enveloped by my thoughts I headed over to my bed. Once I sat down on the side I spotted a long and thin blue velvet bracelet case on my nightstand, immediately knowing he had left it there.

My chest felt constricted as I took it into my hands, figuring Ben must have bought it as just a gift before all of this went down.

I recognised the brand and, as expensive and exclusive as it was I knew that the thought behind this was grander.

I opened the case from the middle and found the most stunning bracelet. It wasn't too flashy with its countless diamonds, but very elegant and beautiful.

I ended up crying myself to sleep that night.