"I'm sorry," his low voice vibrated through my body, causing a pleasurable shiver to run down my spine.

I tugged harshly at the strands of his hair and he hissed at the pain. He in turn sucked at the skin by my collarbone, surely leaving some sort of mark.

"I'll make everything up to you," his hot breath hit my cold skin, warming up my body in the cold night. His lips brushed along my neck, leaving delicious and open-mouthed kisses whenever and wherever he could.

Ben had driven me home. During the car ride he had tried to get me to talk, but I had given him the silent treatment. Only during the last few minutes before we reached my house I had exploded, bringing up his insane plan to get rid of Tony just because he thought I was still together with him and how he unbeknownst to me made my life horrible during these past few months by ruining my chances of getting a job anywhere else. I had cursed at him and told him what an actual creep he was being, and that this was the kind of behaviour I had seen only on crime documentaries before.

He had listened and apologised, yet this wasn't something he could fix that easily, if at all.

Once we'd arrived by my house and he had parked along the street in front of it, without me asking he was already getting out of the car with me to walk me to my front door.

I was angry at him and scared of him, all the while incredibly attracted to him. I knew this wasn't healthy, but I couldn't do anything about it — more like I didn't want to.

"Inside," his lips met mine in a rough and passionate kiss, taking my breath away.

My core clenched and I felt a wave of arousal rush down my body at the way his hard body was pushing against mine, keeping me firmly in place against the rough wall.

"No," I bit his lower lip, not in a sexy way but hard enough to make him wince and pull back in a flash.

With shock written across his features he brought one hand to his lower lip, only to find that I had bit it hard enough to draw blood.

"You bitch," he spoke underneath his breath, eyes focusing dangerously on me again before he kissed me again, much more roughly this time.

How we had ended up in a situation like this on my porch by my front door was beyond me. Neither had initiated it, it just happened.

We had kissed and he had ended up pushing me against the wall hard enough to make me yelp in pain at the impact on my back.

Nothing from the kiss to now had been romantic. This was one part pure anger, another pure need and a third... I guess the third part was a twisted way of saying goodbye. While I was saying goodbye with one last time, it was clear he was trying to right his wrongs.

"Inside," he spoke menacingly against my lips, with ease removing my hands from their rough grips on his hair to pin them up against the wall over my head with one of his hands.

"No," I hissed and continued the kiss he had seized at my reply. I adored how rough he was being, even though I shouldn't. I loved how he had me pressed against the wall like this and was acting like this in between saying he was sorry and that he'd make it up to me.

"Fine, have it your way," he muttered, kissing me back hard enough to make the back of my head hit the wall and create a sound. I winced at the pain, but neither of us cared.

It was very cold and dark outside, the only lights being a few dim lampposts along my street. Despite the money I had earned working for the mafia, most of it I had saved and was satisfied with not living in a fancy penthouse apartment in the middle of the city with a gorgeous view and such. I lived rather modestly in a house perfectly sized for me, despite the lifestyle that I lived. The only light lighting us up was a small and dying light by my front door.

I rarely saw my neighbours and was now thankful of how holed up in their own homes they were. Despite us being on my porch and somewhat out of the view of most, a passer-by would surely see us. It excited me.

"For your sake I hope none of your neighbours are awake," he pressed his body more against mine, making sure I felt his member very hard and ready against me, our clothes in between.

I felt Ben start hiking up my evening gown with his free hand, gripping my hands above my head tighter when I tried to make him let go.

I could have told him to stop and that this wasn't okay. I could have just gone home and forgot all about him, but I wanted this. I wanted him, despite everything.

Our kiss had turned sloppy, both of us trying to dominate it as things turned increasingly more heated.

"Tell me you forgive me," he grunted out hotly, now fiddling to open his belt and dress-pants with one hand while one side of my dress stayed hiked up on my waist thanks to our fronts pressing together.

"Fuck you," my voice was hoarse with my almost challenging words, "you're sick."

He managed to push down his pants to his thighs before I gasped out a moan as he suddenly cupped my sex over my panties.

"You're this wet for someone you hate?" His lips left mine, his gravelly voice and swollen lips trailing down my cheek to my jaw, before beginning their descent to the side of my neck, "I find that hard to believe, Sofia."

I tried to free my hands again, but his hold was still too strong.

"What can I say? I hadn't seen Tony in a while," I was aware of what a low blow it was and how he had to know it wasn't true. I guess my years of lying had finally paid off, because it really did push Ben over the edge.

"You don't mean that," he gritted out before sucking harshly at the side of my neck, bruising my sensitive skin while slipping his hand inside my panties as I held back a moan equally full of pain and pleasure.

"You're sick in the head, Ben," I breathed out shakily when he pressed his fingers against the awfully sensitive bundle of nerves between my legs, "I don't want you."

"Say that again and I'll make sure Tony Prince is dead before I have you coming," he grunted, feeling how aroused and ready I was for him.

"Leave him out of this," I miserably kicked his leg with my heel, wanting him to be so angry at me that I'd view him as completely messed up and getting over him would be easy. The plan seemed to make sense at the moment, but I was also trying to create so many reasonings as to why I shouldn't feel bad for letting this happen.

"You brought the fucker into this," he pushed my leg back with his knee, parting my thighs further and also keeping it in place, "say my name, sweetheart, come on.."

I bit my lower lip to keep from crying out when he finally pushed two fingers inside me, their coldness a surprisingly lovely addition of sensation.

"No. I hate you," I let my eyes flutter shut when he curled his fingers just right, almost causing my legs to buckle down from underneath me, "how someone could ever want you is beyond me."

Everything seemed to freeze then, and I realised exactly what I'd said. His kisses stopped, as did his fingers inside me. The pressure he was placing on my front seemed to lessen.

"Be—"

"You really mean that?" He pulled back from my neck to me able to find my gaze with his, searching my eyes for answers.

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and was sure he could feel my accelerated pulse from where he was still pinning up my two hands with one of his.

For a moment I just looked at him, not knowing what to say or do as a deep sadness toward myself, him and our situation hit me. To avoid feeling it, I muttered out something before managing to close the space between us to kiss him again.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this..." he kissed me back for a moment with much less hunger than before, sounding very tired and sad, before beginning to pull himself away from me.

His fingers left me incredibly aroused without release, and the toe-curling way he had had me pressed up against the wall left. He let my hands go and they returned to my sides as my gown returned to how it'd been before.

I debated on what I should do next. Deciding we were both messed up and damaged people, I fished out my house keys.

"Inside. Now," I told him quietly.

🥺