What the hell did I just do? Why did I just do that? What the fuck was I thinking?

"What was that?" he chuckled softly.

"I-I don't know, I'm sorry," I pushed myself off of him and stood up. I took steps back while he stood up. "I should go." My back ran into his desk.

"Faith," he chuckled while walking up to me, trapping me between him and the desk when he placed both arms on either side of me. "Faith, why did you just kiss me?" he interrogated.

"I don't know," I breathed. He looked at the ground before his eyes flickered back up to mine.

"Why'd you do it?" he pressed further.

"I said I don't know," I stared into his eyes.

"Why'd you kiss me?"

Is this guy deaf?

"How many times are you going to ask me this?" I rolled my eyes in frustration.

"As many times as it takes for you to tell me the reason, even if you only know it subconsciously," he shrugged. "No one was watching, no one's gonna talk about it, it's not gonna spread. So then why kiss me?" he arched an accusing eyebrow at me.

"For practice?" I lied pathetically. Hey, at least I didn't stutter.

"Really?" he deadpanned.

"No," I sighed, "I don't know why I did it. It was on impulse," I shrugged.

"What made you wanna do it impulsively?" he asked, still not moving.

"Alex, I have to get home." I reasoned.

"Faith," he said my name slowly.

"Alex," I said mockingly.

"Faith," he smiled.

"Alex," I smiled.

"Faith," he whispered while leaning.

Hearing him say my name was nice, it did something.

"Alex," I mocked.

He didn't say my name again, he was just standing there, his lips hovering over mine with a smile dancing on his lips.

"Can I go?" I whispered.

"Mm-mm," he shook his head.

"Please?" I asked.

"Nope," he smirked while shaking his head.

"Did you down the bottle of painkillers or something?" I questioned.

"Maybe," he shrugged. I glanced at his nightstand to see the bottle still there.

So he wasn't on drugs, good to know.

"What do you want?" I sighed in defeat.

"I want that kiss again," he smirked.

"What? No," I scoffed, "Absolutely not," I chuckled humorlessly.

"You gave it earlier," he argued.

"I reacted to the proximity," I reasoned.

"This is closer than that," he gestured to the distance between us with his finger. True, it was closer than that.

"I said no," I huffed.

"Sorry then, I can't move."

Why God? Why?

"Why do you even want me to kiss you?" I sighed and folded my arms across my chest.

"Because," he shrugged.

"Because?" I pressed. "I won't do it until you give me a reason," I challenged.

"I want you to kiss me because I want to be kissed," he shrugged.

"That doesn't count, I want to be kissed, you don't see me demanding you to kiss me," I argued.

"You can demand me to kiss you whenever you want," he offered.

"Alex," I began but he didn't let me finish.

"Just kiss me, one kiss, that's all I ask," he arched an eyebrow at me.

"And then I can leave?" I questioned.

"If you still want to, then yes, sure," he smirked knowingly.

I sighed in defeat before quickly pecking his lips.

"Now is that really what you call a kiss, Faith?" he arched an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes before sitting on his desk. "Yes, it is." I nodded sarcastically.

He shook his head before he held my face in his hand and pulled my lips to his. It started soft and gentle but it became hasty and desperate not too long after. It went on a lot longer than any of our other kisses ever have.

He pulled away slowly, leaving me breathless and asked, "What's two plus two?" I was too dazed to process his question so I just breathed out the first thing that came to my mind.

"Alex," I sighed.

"Good to know," he smirked.

He kissed me like he meant it. Slowly, taking his time, like there was no place he'd rather be. Not like he's waiting for something or someone else, like my lips were the only ones he's ever kissed, with a curious childish delight. He kissed me stupid, senseless and silent. To the point where he pulled away and asked what two plus two was and I said his name.

"Still wanna go?" he asked drawing circles on my hand that rested in his.

"Not really, but I have to," I answered after taking a deep breath in.

"Do you really?" he tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

"My parents are gonna be home soon, I should really go," I replied, still staring at the ground.

"You sure?" he asked, locking both my hands in his.

"Yes, I'm sure," I huffed, finally gathering the courage to look him in the eyes.

"Do you have to?" he pouted.

"What are you doing? Th- this- this feels too real Alex it- it's wrong." I pulled my hands out of his and ran it through my hair.

"Why is it wrong?" he questioned.

"Because it's not real and the way this makes us- or well- me, the way it makes me feel is well, not something I want to feel only for me to realize when reality strikes that it's not real." I tried explaining.

"And why can't it be real?" he pressed.

"Because neither of us like each other, do we?" I asked.

Something flashed in his eyes before he took a step back, increasing the space between us. "No, we don't." I watched his jaw tick and clench.

Oh no. Does he?

"Alex, wait." I sighed.

Do I?

"You don't have feelings for me and I don't have feelings for you, you're right," he nodded.

"Am I?" I mumbled to myself.

"You tell me," he looked at me expectantly. "How do you feel when I kiss you for people to see? Or when I hold your hand for show? When we call it a date but just talk and hang out because we aren't real? How do you feel when we do that?" he questioned, stepping closer again, all close and personal.

I didn't answer.

"Faith, tell me how you feel when I kissed you right now? When your hand was in mine? When we hung out today? Did it feel fake?"

I shook my head slowly, staring at the ground.

"What did you feel?" he whispered.

"Butterflies," I whispered.

"But we aren't real, am I right?" he tilted my chin up, having me face him. "Do you have feelings for me, Faith?" he whispered.

"Why do I have to be the one to go first?" I asked, my voice barely audible to my ears.

"Do you think I would have kissed you like I did if I didn't like you?" he leaned on the table, inching closer to me.

"Do you have feelings for me, Alex?" I arched an eyebrow at him. I need to hear him say it.

"I think I do," he nodded. "Do you?" he asked.

"I think I do too," I nodded. "Now tell me Faith," he sighed, "What's two plus two?" he smirked teasingly.

"Alex," I laughed while shaking my head.

"Good to know," he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he pulled away.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Bye," he kissed my cheek. I held the back of his neck and kissed his lips for a short moment.

"Bye," I grinned cheekily before slipping out his window and through mine, not falling this time. Frankly, I did that pretty graciously. I looked out the window to see him smiling at me. I waved bye before closing my window as he closed his. I grabbed a fresh set of pajamas and headed to take a shower.

x-X-x

"So, how was your day?" my dad questioned at the table while we ate dinner.

"It was fine, we just watched a movie and then we both fell asleep," I shrugged while twirling my spaghetti around my fork.

"In the same bed?" my dad asked.

"No dad, on the floor," I said sarcastically. "We didn't fool around or do anything, relax." I sighed.

"Relax Richard, they didn't do anything. That's exactly why she's wearing his hoodie," my mom smirked at me.

"I-" I am speechless.

That was sly.

"Hmm, that explains why you smell like cologne," my dad nodded.

"It's actually coffee and cologne," I mumbled only for my eyes to widen when I realized they heard that.

"Still complicated?" My mom arched an eyebrow at me.

"A little less, but yeah, still complicated," I huffed with a blush painted across my cheeks. The rest of the dinner went by with them teasing me and me turning as red as a tomato. "Night!" I called out while walking up the stairs.

I got into my room to see shirtless Alex placing a book back on his desk. He opened his window and I mirrored his actions.

"You look cute," he checked me out shamelessly.

"Thanks, you like it?" I showed off the hoodie.

"I love it," he smirked.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Alex. Ice it," I looked at his bruise.

"Whatever you say," he smiled.

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