The sound from the alarm is very annoying it makes my eyes fluttered open, i blink a couple times before turn around and found the bed is empty.

"Lana?" My morning voice is calling for her but there's no answer.

I walk into the bathroom and knocked on the door,

"Lana?" I called her but there's no answer.

I slowly open the bathroom and found that the bathroom is empty, i walk out of the bedroom into the living room and found out that she's not here. I got back into the room and her stuff is gone,

Shit shit

This thing isn't going to happen,

I began to dial her number but her phone is not active, my hands are on my head thinking what's going on.

"No no no no" i said as i see a white letter is laying on the night stand.

I open it up harshly and almost ripped it into pieces,

To : Apollo Hamilton

I'm sorry,

I know this isn't the best way for you to wake up in the morning, but I can't take it anymore. Knowing that your boyfriend cheated on you and acting like it is okay all the time.

I saw you with Kayla that day in your house and it breaks me into pieces, i keep crying all the time. What she said to you is right, I can't give all of me to you. But she's wrong when she told you that I don't trust you, well i trusted you but that trust broke since i see both of you kissed that day.

I know We should've talk about it not running away like this, i was waiting for you to confess but it hurts me to wait for you to do it. It hurts me every time you said you love me without feeling guilty.

I think there's nothing you want to explain to me, so what if we ended it up here? Besides you're going to go to Harvard which you're going to be so far away from me. And I haven't told you that i chose Oxford which means I'm going to go far far away from you too.

I thought it is going to be okay with a long distance but since that day, I couldn't give my trust to you. You broke it, you broke your promise.

You broke my heart.

I still love you, and it's always the truth every time i tell you that i love you. I don't know what's in your mind every time you said that, is it only a 'word' for you? I don't even know if you mean it or not.

Every memories that we made? It is going to fade just like that isn't it? Every kiss you gave me feels like a special thing for me but i wonder if is it feel special to you? Or is it just 'a kiss'.

I thought I'm the luckiest girl alive to have you.

But i was wrong.

I'm going to spend a quality time with my family and friends before I leave. I'm going to leave in two weeks to England, and i know I'm going to miss you so much.

There's so many girls out there that can fulfill your needed and probably better than me, i also feel all of these things aren't going to happen if i gave you what you want so i still feel some of this problem is causes by myself.

So I'm sorry, i love you i really do.

Avalana Skylar Valerie

No no this thing isn't going to happen, I've planned to tell her tomorrow and i feel so stupid for not knowing that she knew that i physically cheated on her.

Shit i fucked up.

Man i fucked up!

I began to call one of my bodyguards,

"Good morning sir" he said.

"Did you see Avalana walked out of the hotel this morning?" I asked him pissed.

"I'm sorry we didn't see her Sir, is there anything we can help" he asked.

"Just prepare the jet we're leaving this evening" i said.

"Got-" i hung it up then throw my phone onto the wall,

"Fuck!"

I lost her, i loost the most precious thing in my life.

She's really going to leave me, Oxford? She's going to go far far away from me and it's going to be so hard for me to see her.

I'm scared if she's going to cut all of our connections and I'm scared I'm going to loose her forever.

"Miss Valerie" a woman voice waking me up, i try to open my eyes, well it is so hard for me to open it because i fell asleep crying last night.

"we're here please prepare the seat for the landing thank you." She smiles as i open my eyes.

I blink for so many times until i realize that i'm back in LA. I straightened my seat then wear my seatbelt. I watched the jet slowly touch the land, it was a smooth landing and I'm glad that i finally got back to LA.

The jet stops and it's time to take off my seatbelt and get out of the plane, i wear the sunglasses that Anthony gave me to cover my swollen eyes.

"Miss Valerie, welcome back to LA Mrs Laura Valerie is waiting outside" Anthony said after he got up from the seat.

I grab all of my things and walk outside of the jet, there's where i see Laura is waiting for me right in front of the black car with a black leather jacket. I ran into her before finally hug her.

"Oh sissy" she said as she's hugging me.

"Everything is going to be alright, lets go home" she said holding on my hand.

We get inside of the car together, then i make myself comfortable inside of the car.

"To gabriel's house Mr Dillon" Laura said to the driver.

"Yes Mrs Laura" he said.

Laura closed the window between the driver seat and the passenger seat so Mr Dillon can't hear anything from here.

"So do you want to talk about it?" She asked me while trying to look into my eyes that being covered with the sunglasses.

I took off my sunglasses then it makes Laura surprised to see my swollen eyes that has a pillow under it. I started to cry once i took it of, she pulls me closer then hug me.

"Oh sissy" she said.

"You're here now, everything is going to be alright when you're with your family" she said.

"I just can't believe it" i said.

"You've been keeping this the whole time it must be hard for you" she said.

"He's acting like he did nothing wrong" i said.

"I saw him kissing another girl in his freaking house Laura" i said while still crying.

"Shh shh it's okay sissy" she said.

"Jacob is excited to meet you" she said, bringing up another topic.

"I'm going to leave in two weeks Laura" i said to her.

"Yes mom told me" she said.

"And I don't want to see him anymore" i said.

She stay in a silent while keep looking at me, I don't know what should i do now. And I don't care about how's his feelings now.

"You're full of emotions" she said and i stay in a silent.

"I know" i said.

"I should've not come with him to paris, it makes the situation getting worse" i said.

"Everything always happens for a reason sissy, so just keep thinking about a good thing that'll happen to you in the future" she said.

I stay in a silent after she said that, she's right maybe he isn't the one for me so all of these things happen. But how about our memories that happened in the past, do all of that really happened for a reason? A reason to me for not believe in any guy anymore.

Love is bullshit.

It hurts.

This is why I didn't do love at the first place. But then he came into my life like a sweet angel that brings joy and happiness.