I couldn't sleep all night. There was this numbness in my body, a vibe that didn't feel so great. I felt guilty for something... something. It can't be about Diana, it's too late to apologize. She's gone, she's gone...

I roll out of bed in the middle of the night, wandering to the bathroom. I turn on the lights, gazing at my own figure at the mirror across from me. My hair is all over the place from sleeping, my eyes are dark and gloomy. They are staring back at me but with something inside of them. Anger, hurt? I run my hand along my jaw, examining myself, checking if it actually shows that I am going to age like a filthy human.

Nothing has changed besides the black bags sagging below my eyes from the lack of sleep. Is the thought of making Diana leave really bothering me? The fact that I brought her down, maybe I could have brought her six feet under. Just like the time after her unborn sisters incident? The time she felt guilty, hurt, afraid, anxiety tingling up and down her spine.

I run my hands along my face, groaning in annoyance. I have to see her. Just once. To see if she is okay. I rinse my face with cold water before going back to my closet and changing to sweats and a sweatshirt. I softly open my bedroom door, trying not to jolt anyone awake and stopping me from my own escape.

I slip and slide like a snake through the hallways without getting stopped by wandering vampires or guards. I go through the garage door and I take out a car, speeding down the road before anyone can stop me. All the windows were rolled down and the warm night air hitting me like a blade, jolting my bones awake.

It didn't take much long until I was in front of her house. Cars were parked on the driveway and no lights were on inside. They all must be sleeping. I park my car on the side of the road while I softly walk up the driveway, trying not

to get anyone alerted.

I smell her and I pause, catching my balance by leaning against the bricked house. It's faint but strong at the same time... No it's faint. I don't smell it anymore. Why not? I try to get every last scent of her, finding a window which took her to her bedroom. I climb on the side of the house by climbing up the sewage pole until I reach her window.

I see that a crack of it is open but the screen is in the way so I can't get in. I curse under my breath and I jam my finger hard through the screen, poking a hole. I grab it and rip it off all my might, making a loud noise which makes me cringe.

I let go of the screen and it falls down on the ground below me. I lift the window up and I climb in, softly landing on my feet. I turn to her bed that's next to me with excitement but it's empty. No one is there. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and I'm a bit angry why she's missing.

Did something happen to her? Where is she?

I hear voices from another room and I open Diana's bedroom door and I peak my head in the hallway. I hear muffles through a closed door across from Diana's. Her parents? I turn my head to the side, trying to get a good hear of their conversation.

"She can't be there by herself." Her mother cries.

"Diana is smart, she will be okay. The house has alarms okay?" Her dad tries to softly comfort her mother. Diana is not staying with them? Where would she be living now?

I sigh, turn back and shutting her bedroom door. I walk to her bed, lifting up one of her shirts laying there and bringing it to my face. I inhale her sweet intoxicating scent while I nod my head no.

I cannot do this, she is alive. That's why I left the house to see. Whether she is alive and she is. That's the only reason I came here. Not to fall for her again.

I get up, heading to the window to leave but I stop, turning to look in the corner of her room. The metal safe.

I have a safe in my room full with journals...

Diana's exact words run through my mind. The time she was suffering in her life. I know it's not right invading in her privacy but I need to. I need to see what she thought. I don't know the combo to open it and I don't want to break it to make noise or for Diana to realize so I go through her drawers to find a key.

I make a mess through her clothes until I find a key hidden in her make-up box that is in her desk draw. I cheer mentally in my head as I put it through the hole and I twist. It unlocks and when I open it, I find five different journals.

There's years written on the side of the books spine and they all have a different color. I decide to pick a random one and I flip through a random page.

Dear journal,

I got into an argument with mom again... I brought up about the baby. I should have never brought up about the baby. I feel like she's here in the house with us but not happy. She's killing me inside out. I feel weight on my shoulders and I can't get it off. I can't breath at night and I always scream awake, mom and dad sick of coming and calming me down now, leaving me alone. I don't know what to do. Today I cried in the shower and punched the wall until my knuckles became raw and bled. I sat down in the tub naked, the water droplets running down me dry. I wish I was the water going in the drain too, vanishing in the world.

I close that book and I grab another one, flipping through a random page. Is this was she really thought?

Dear journal,

Depression is gone and I'm happy. I know I still have hope in me and I can live my life. The vampires aren't making it great though. They still push me around and call me mute. I hope that nickname goes away soon in school. I'm sick of everyone. I feel good now, knowing that depression is on and off and it's gone, for now. I feel social and I can do anything I want. I feel like I can kill hundreds of vampires you know... haha. Anyways, it's late at night and I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

I smile at the thought that she can kill hundreds of vampires. I toss the book back in the safe and I lock it, putting the key back in her make-up box.

I want to see her. A low voice says in the back of my head. But if I see her, she wouldn't want to see me. After what I have said to her, she will never want to see my face again. But, do I still want to see her?

I try to find her, bringing my head up and sniffing the air. I need to find her. I open the window, climbing out of it and jumping off. I land on the ground, walking to the car.

I start the car up, driving down the block. I do smell her, it's getting stronger. I always smell her wherever she is. Even when we are so far away, I smell her. It's like we are still attracted to each other and we can't get out of each other's head.

I drive down a couple of blocks and I come to face a small house. It's at the end of a block, close to the school. I see a lamp on from a window so I get out and walk up the driveway. I see a pot with a dead flower in the soil and that gives me a hint.

I lift it up, seeing a rusty old key under it. Damn these humans who put keys in horrible hiding places. Of course Diana does the same, she could die easily if a vampire found it and went in the house.

I unlock the door and I push through, shutting it lightly so I don't wake her. Oh yes she's in this house. I smell her everywhere, clouding up my mind. My heightened instincts go on strike, my thirst strong for her.

I climb up the small flight of stairs, reaching a bedroom that was a crack open with the lamb on. I open it wider so my body can go through and I get in. And there is my treasure.

Diana is sleeping soundly on the bed, I hear her small breaths with her slow heartbeat. The covers are off of her, she mush be hot and her arm is stretched out off the bed. I can't help but smile, walking to her body and grabbing her arm, moving it back on the bed.

When I touch her, I feel tingles down my spine and if I can, I would hold her forever. But another part of me is raging with fury, getting angry. I want to rip her and watch her cry for mercy.

I nod my head no, watching her move around while sighing, moving onto her back. I realize that she's breathing deeply now, her heart hammering. Is she dreaming? I take a step closer to her, her fingers twitching.

Suddenly, she snaps her eyes open and sits up but before she does and realizes that I'm in her room, I run out, down the stairs. I lock the door and I hear her shuffling around on her bed from outside. What was she dreaming about?

I place the key back under the plant and I go back to my car. While driving I realized that I should never see her for she'll be the death of me.